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Submissives self motivated? - 3/11/2009 1:07:35 PM

WiseCracknSadist

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There are stereo types and there is reality and I'm interested in your opinion on which is which.

I have heard it said that subs are weak minded, lazy people who can't or won't make their own decisions, thus needing someone to lead them.

It's harsh I know and offensive, but I had another idea that counters his opinion.

I believe subs to be incredibly self motivated individuals. How else would they be able to adhere to our rules and complete our tasks?

What is your opinion?

RE: Submissives self motivated? - 3/11/2009 1:12:04 PM

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I've met lazy people from every persuasion possible. I have met self motivated of the same.

What side of the slash you fall on has nothing to do with it.

People are people.

For me I'm a single working mother and a poor homeowner. Someone has to pay the bills and fix everything cause there ain't anyone else.

Self motivated? Absolutely...but sometimes being given a nudge or shove in the right direction never hurts but everyone could use that once in awhile.

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RE: Submissives self motivated? - 3/11/2009 1:46:27 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: WiseCracknSadist

There are stereo types and there is reality and I'm interested in your opinion on which is which.

I have heard it said that subs are weak minded, lazy people who can't or won't make their own decisions, thus needing someone to lead them.

It's harsh I know and offensive, but I had another idea that counters his opinion.

I believe subs to be incredibly self motivated individuals. How else would they be able to adhere to our rules and complete our tasks?

What is your opinion?

I don't think there is any "type". Just because a person wishes to be/is the submissive partner in a relationship, does not make them lazy or not, motivated or not, smart or not, weakminded or not.......etc etc etc

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RE: Submissives self motivated? - 3/11/2009 2:15:41 PM

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i have seen plenty of subs and potential slave with an identity crisis, emotional problem, chemical inbalance, etc. i do not think it is actually true of every sub or slave though. i do not view my alpha slave as weak minded, lazy or unable to make its own decisions.

bruno slave was very intelligent, and is oldman slave. bruno was a bit lazy at times, but it was merely awaiting orders too. oldman slave is far from lazy.

some say acts of kindness are done out of selfishness because the feeling it gives oneself when helping others.

most subs tend to put others in front of themselves.

any search for a mate is self motivation, be it gay, straight, dom/sub, master/slave. i would think of it as natural motivation and harmless.

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RE: Submissives self motivated? - 3/11/2009 2:20:17 PM

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I'm with litlewonder and LaTigresse

There are lazy subs and lazy Dom's and lazy nill people and lazy serial killers (thay get caught quicker hehe)

I don't think it has anything to do with any orientation.

Some submissive types work damn hard, and try and make sure the forethink what might make their Dominant party happy.

Submissive is not the same as lazy, i think it's more of needing or wanting someone else to hold the reins rather then having to do everything yourself all the time.

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RE: Submissives self motivated? - 3/11/2009 3:13:32 PM

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I can't say I've noticed a particular correlation of motivation vs lack-there-of related to side of the kneel.
Davan

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RE: Submissives self motivated? - 3/11/2009 3:49:41 PM

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quote:

I believe subs to be incredibly self motivated individuals.

I believe generalizing is an extremely useless exploit.

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RE: Submissives self motivated? - 3/11/2009 4:16:36 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: antipode

quote:

I believe subs to be incredibly self motivated individuals.

I believe generalizing is an extremely useless exploit.

Jolly well said, I agree.

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RE: Submissives self motivated? - 3/11/2009 4:25:38 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: akisha

Submissive is not the same as lazy, i think it's more of needing or wanting someone else to hold the reins rather then having to do everything yourself all the time.

In my not so humble opinion, what is it called when Doms seek a service oriented submissive? Just curious.

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RE: Submissives self motivated? - 3/11/2009 4:25:43 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: WiseCracknSadist

There are stereo types and there is reality and I'm interested in your opinion on which is which.

I have heard it said that subs are weak minded, lazy people who can't or won't make their own decisions, thus needing someone to lead them.

It's harsh I know and offensive, but I had another idea that counters his opinion.

I believe subs to be incredibly self motivated individuals. How else would they be able to adhere to our rules and complete our tasks?

What is your opinion?

Hell that describes the entire population me included...

What's your point? In general I like to keep things general.

BadOne

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RE: Submissives self motivated? - 3/11/2009 4:47:55 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

quote:

ORIGINAL: WiseCracknSadist

There are stereo types and there is reality and I'm interested in your opinion on which is which.

I have heard it said that subs are weak minded, lazy people who can't or won't make their own decisions, thus needing someone to lead them.

It's harsh I know and offensive, but I had another idea that counters his opinion.

I believe subs to be incredibly self motivated individuals. How else would they be able to adhere to our rules and complete our tasks?

What is your opinion?

I don't think there is any "type". Just because a person wishes to be/is the submissive partner in a relationship, does not make them lazy or not, motivated or not, smart or not, weakminded or not.......etc etc etc

(in reply to LaTigresse)

RE: Submissives self motivated? - 3/11/2009 5:15:44 PM

WiseCracknSadist

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Everyone generalizes and judges, it's how we equate the world and our place in it. When we see someone we take in height, weight, build, clothing, accessories, body language and morethen make general assumptions about that person and judge them to fall into one or more categories. That is human nature and in general, you are human.

As far as my statements being able to describe everyone that is because the lifestyle supports everyone. Everyone who chooses to be in it anyways. It's a varied culture with many individuals.

It's a general statement and question because I wanted to see where the discussion would lead and if I argue one point or the other it defeats the purpose.

(in reply to mystickoolaid)

RE: Submissives self motivated? - 3/11/2009 5:23:05 PM

whiteslavebitch

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I find that premise to be very insulting. I am very self motivated, definitely not lazy.

I work very hard at my job, I was fully able to make my own decisions before I met MasterK. I don't need someone to lead, but I very much prefer it. I like the male half of my intimate relationships to be in charge, and certainly someone I can bounce ideas off of.

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RE: Submissives self motivated? - 3/11/2009 5:56:48 PM

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"What they said"

^
^
^
Lazy dom answer

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RE: Submissives self motivated? - 3/11/2009 5:57:44 PM

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May I first just say that I hate fitting into boxes, especially those made by someone else that I am expected to enter without my input or consent. Okay so I'm grumpy.....

I don't think it has anything to do with orientation, but in my own experience, there was a specific time in my life that brought me to a realization of what I needed and desired. I needed to have someone take control of a world that was spinning out of control with little I really could do about it. I needed the feeling of inward control since the outside world was not playing by the rules. I am not talking about self control, as I have that in spades, but of some area of placidity in the midst of chaos. Further, it was a weak time in my life when I did not feel of use to anyone. Think about how that would feel to a submissive who wants nothing more than to make others' lives easier and do for people. I needed to be desired in my weakest moments. I needed to know there was someone who could gain contribution from my being in their lives. My point is, it may be because of the way submissive needs become glaringly exposed that such an attitude exists. It was when I was weak and my world turned upside down that I could not ignore who and what I was.

Did this help at all, or is it the ramblings of someone who really should just go to bed? LOL

lovingpet

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RE: Submissives self motivated? - 3/11/2009 6:16:54 PM

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lol..well you wanted different points of view..I think you got them...

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RE: Submissives self motivated? - 3/11/2009 8:59:19 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Huntertn

lol..well you wanted different points of view..I think you got them...

I disagree. It seems everyone is making the same claim. "Stereotyping and generalizations are wrong. People exist on a spectrum. There are always exceptions."

But I suppose one cannot escape those social science truths. Any request for opinion would be quite boring if those claims were not allowed to be said.

So I'll toss my hat in the ring, or my name in the hat, or my name in the ring.

My pet is constantly in training to take control of her submission. Borderline "topping from the bottom" I encourage her to come up with ideas, phrases, positions, actions, and desires. To be blunt, she will suck anything I put in her mouth... But having her offer the use of her mouth (something we both know is always available) is very different. It takes drive and initiative to offer me something I like, as opposed to just indulging me when I say so. Her reward is a very sincere smile.

I don't want a robot. I want a well trained devoted servant.

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RE: Submissives self motivated? - 3/11/2009 10:12:32 PM

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Everyone needs a good head on their shoulders, no matter what you are. You can't fix stupid, I prefer smart, I need all the help I can get.

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RE: Submissives self motivated? - 3/11/2009 11:21:59 PM

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I know a few male and female submissives who are very self motivated much to the delight of their owners. Personally I expect a slave to be self motivated and use his or her initive. This is something I prise and indeed look for in someone seeking a collar from me.

< Message edited by IronBear -- 3/11/2009 11:22:24 PM >

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Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

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RE: Submissives self motivated? - 3/12/2009 1:29:40 AM

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Answer that troll!!

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