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RE: So what causes Y/your Switch? - 3/11/2007 6:26:27 PM

xmillicentx

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Honestly, it depends on the person I'm with and the vibe they give off. Some people make me want to dominate them, just because I know they want it. Others make me want to submit- which is good because I like submitting more.

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RE: So what causes Y/your Switch? - 3/12/2007 6:12:20 PM

misspage

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I have to say for me it depends on the person and my mood. There are some people i could never imagin topping, just as there are some i could never see myself submitting too. I have only had one really that i have played on both sides with. Generally if i go into an evening knowing that i am going to top another person i prefer to do that before if i am going to also bottom the same night. I'm not able to just seamlessly switch into either one. I have to prepair myself and have my mind in the right place for each one. I can see me reaching up grabbing a hand full of my dominants hair now. Not good!

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RE: So what causes Y/your Switch? - 3/13/2007 11:27:37 AM

Syndreamer

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There are some people I that invoke a different feeling with. Depends on their emotions and their compatibility. Some are resistant to being dominated, but it doesnt hurt to be a bratty submissive to push their buttons some more. One girl who is also a switch seems to like being the domme for once and I'm the submissive just to bring great joy to her, though when I feel she is starting to lose her dominance over me I'll just turn the tables. Persistent in our roles until one part of us dies and we switch roles. Makes the night interesting and in the end we'll be licking our wounds and bite marks ;)

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RE: So what causes Y/your Switch? - 3/15/2007 5:55:00 AM

hardbodysub

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It's all about the chemistry for me. The general mood can have something to do with it also, but mainly it's the interpersonal dynamics that determine who seizes power.

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RE: So what causes Y/your Switch? - 3/15/2007 5:57:52 AM

hardbodysub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RubberWitch

The one thing thats absolutely guarenteed to make me go dom is to finish a subbing scene with me tied up, and my top looking the other way. If it's been a good sesh, then subbie me curls up and goes to sleep, and Dom me slips the ropes, and turns the tables.

...

]V[

I LOVE the way you think! This has always been one of my favorite fantasies. I start out on top, and somehow she turns things around on me. I'd absolutey love to find a woman to play this out.

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RE: So what causes Y/your Switch? - 3/15/2007 9:28:50 AM

Suleiman

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The only thing I can say is that I love whom I love. How that feeling manifests depends entirely on my mood, my needs, and the relationship that I have with them. I am dominant and submissive, masochist and sadist, in equal measure and at the same time. When my blood is hot, I may very well try to act on all of those impulses if I am with someone whom I trust. I have to force myself to remember that not everyone enjoys being hit, or hitting. It does make me come off as a bit cold some times. Best anonymous sex I've had recently was with a klingon babe at a convention. Smacked the prosthetic right off her forehead and she took it in stride and nearly bit a chunk out of my left flank. My goodness but that was fun.

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RE: So what causes Y/your Switch? - 3/15/2007 11:29:44 AM

Mysti

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Fast Reply:

Fist off , the term switch irks me, just like any other label. I'm not always the same thing to each person. With one I may be a demanding, commanding Mistress, and with another a soft giggly babygirl. It varies from relationship to relationship

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RE: So what causes Y/your Switch? - 3/15/2007 11:37:16 AM

bigbonedbeauty

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For me, there are just times when I have so much built up that I just need to release all my power. Finding a good sub that is able to handle the power exchange is becoming harder and harder. For me, the exchange only happens sexually. So I need a sexually strong man in the bedroom from time to time. The rest of time, he bettter know his place if he knows whats good for him.

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RE: So what causes Y/your Switch? - 3/23/2007 2:22:03 PM

earthycouple

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ohhhh....I had a Dom one time...beautiful man who never considered switching, though he knew I did. One day, after seeing me Dominate others, he woke, crawled to me on his knees, and trembling, laid his head in my lap, looked up at me with puppy dog eyes and said "please take great care".

It was wonderful. He and I could spend the first 4 hours of the night with me submissive to him then have dinner and spend the next 4 hours with he submissive to me. It's all about how my power feels....and a GOOD bottom flips me to Domme in a heartbeat. A bad bottom only pisses me off, but still invokes Domliness. A good Dom melts me into submission and a bad Dom makes me laugh and/or run depending on how bad.

D~

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RE: So what causes Y/your Switch? - 3/28/2007 6:46:00 PM

sweetstorm

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I had never contemplated anything but submission until my current Dom. He's been awesome and I just want to do anything for Him, especially since I sometimes feel that He does so much for me, I want to repay it.

He had occasionally half-jokingly mentioned certain things He did to me that He might enjoy also. When I started to inquire more, He quite shyly (blushing red as could be) told me that He might like it. Wanting to do anything at all to make Him happy, I clumsily attempted topping a few times. When I found that I could make Him happy by doing things to Him that I loved Him doing to me, it became easy. What I liked, I tried out on Him to find what He liked. As I was discussing with a friend today "there are few better feelings in the world than being totally responsible for someone else's orgasm." However I can deliver, I shall.

I switch over whenever He seems to be looking for that. If I mention throwing Him up against a wall and He melts, well it's time then. If I mention throwing Him up against a wall and He looks at me and says "oh you think so?" ... well okay, maybe not.

I noticed I do think about it a LOT more right before my period. A little PMS can be a dangerous thing.

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RE: So what causes Y/your Switch? - 3/31/2007 6:46:17 PM

Aneirin

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I have'nt a clue really what makes think the other way to what I thought I was,I am predominantly Dom,but I switch,it would seem in all confusion to something else,When I think things are going well with an s-type,I change.At first it was empathy for the s-type that changed me,but now realise there is more to it.I change it would seem daily,recently I was made aware of the efffects of the moon,and wonder at this,not only the moon,but whatever other planetary forces come into play.All I know is I change from one to another which leaves me with a certain confusion.I would in this case of confusion rather know what I was,one or the other,though I embrace the belief that one can learn and enjoy all aspects by being both.Confusion seems to be the word.

< Message edited by Aneirin -- 3/31/2007 6:48:25 PM >

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RE: So what causes Y/your Switch? - 4/4/2007 2:07:15 PM

Hanable

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im a switch becuz sometimes one side of me, dom or sub, is stronger then the other. i can usually change from a sub to a dom but a dom to a sub is a bit harder.. it all depends onthe person. if i am more sub to there dom.. i weillusually be a sub with them.. the same is of the reverse. it verys from person to person thou as to why and how they became a switch.

H >:)

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RE: So what causes Y/your Switch? - 4/6/2007 5:17:53 PM

MDMASTER35

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Might sound silly.. but I only top women (with rare exception) and submit to men. It's just a thing with me.... :)

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RE: So what causes Y/your Switch? - 4/6/2007 5:57:56 PM

SunNMoon

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I’ll jump in

If I’m stressed out, I like to be submissive. It’s one less thing I have to worry or think about. I can just be there, open and ready. When life is going along nicely I like to be the dominant. I like the control. Also cretin touches can make me submissive, and depending on what is said I flip over into the dominant mode in 0 to 60. And some days I’m just floating happily in between the two. I think it just comes down to my mood and what’s going on in the relationship. But no matter what it all feels just like I'm being me.

< Message edited by SunNMoon -- 4/6/2007 5:58:23 PM >

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RE: So what causes Y/your Switch? - 4/6/2007 6:23:52 PM

arayofsunshine55

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Oh I do love reading the responses of you all who swtich within a relationship. It is not my experience but it seems so fascinating. I could possibly imagine topping Daddy, just possibly cause I do like to hurt anything which might let me. Just a little. Maybe. But I could not imagine domming him. In the end there is something in him to which I respond and melt. So for me it is about the strange alchemy of two human beings. But I sure could imagine fighing for supremacy with another switch. I've done it with women with whom the physical difference is a bit less, more evenly matched for a true wrestling takedown. Yummy. Might have to take some wrestling lessons.

< Message edited by arayofsunshine55 -- 4/6/2007 6:24:35 PM >

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RE: So what causes Y/your Switch? - 4/6/2007 7:32:43 PM

Lynae78

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Well a "switch"relationship is my ideal, the idea of topping my partner, then him saying "my turn!" melts me. Although I think it would be fun to let it become like a wrestling match, fighting for dominance.

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RE: So what causes Y/your Switch? - 4/6/2007 11:15:48 PM

Aswad

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quote:

ORIGINAL: arayofsunshine55

I sure could imagine fighing for supremacy with another switch. I've done it with women with whom the physical difference is a bit less, more evenly matched for a true wrestling takedown. Yummy. Might have to take some wrestling lessons.

You could consider BJJ, Aikido or some kind of koryu ju-jutsu. Personally, I've found the latter to be very useful in overpowering and physical restraint, which can sometimes be helpful in dealing with my slave, as she is actually physically stronger than me.

One thing I always found odd is how it appears there are comparatively few lifestyle switches.

Switching in the context of a session might make sense for regular play, but personally I can't see how such an enormous gap in state of mind can be made in such a short span of time as some of the posters indicate. That's probably because I'm not that kind of switch.

Personally, I have a dominant inclination by default. However, my emotions and my "buttons" are almost perfectly symmetrical at all times (no actual "switching" in the sense of changing state), so I can move into subspace as well, for the right person.

Dissociation and/or compartmentalization work well for me in this regard, something that is fairly rare in the absence of childhood trauma IIRC, though I never experienced any. Basically, I can partition off memories, behaviours and facets of personality into "compartments" that are only active around a specific person or when consciously accessed by a complicated method. This has been useful for me in some professional security contexts, too.

If things had worked out differently, I might have ended up as a slave instead, but I don't think I would have been entirely content with that in the long term, and prefer the current situation of owning one.

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RE: So what causes Y/your Switch? - 4/7/2007 11:00:37 AM

Hanable

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as i have said.. it depends on each person. what they r like in this comunity and the "normal" one. every person ids different.. no matter what they say. differences make us.. human.

H >:)

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RE: So what causes Y/your Switch? - 4/7/2007 2:18:52 PM

smilindan

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Very thought-provoking question... I'd have to say the person's demeanour & energy. Strong women, yeah, I go all subby. Big-eyed innocent twinks, my dominant urges start... urging.

But if I sense any B.S., my dominant feelings arise, but not in a good way

Wisdom, honesty, and truth....that's the real turn-on.

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RE: So what causes Y/your Switch? - 4/8/2007 4:26:02 PM

ranaali

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Strong men and even stronger women.
I grab life by the horns with my type-A so falling in a dominating role always seemed right. I'm pretty prone to being naturally assertive but when it comes to a person who knows what they're doing and where they're going, I'll let them take the reigns and follow like a good puppy.
I rarely find that my monthly effects my decision on top/bottom.

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