"All women are pros"

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

"All women are pros"

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> "All women are pros"

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

"All women are pros" - 3/22/2009 7:46:30 AM

Posts: 360
Joined: 12/23/2008
Status: offline

I've had a few men ask me to do pro sessions with them lately. I find it baffling - I'm not experienced enough to have technique worth paying for, nor am I dominatrix-pretty.

I'm sure that other women get this, but I'm wondering if anyone knows why. The men who contacted me had clearly read my profile, and when I asked them who they picked me rather than one of the many pros on CM, each told me that he found me intriguing for some reason. (Fair enough. I'm certainly unusual.) Still, I'm hard-pressed to think of a vanilla equivalent of this behavior. Men who want romantic companionship don't generally offer girls on dating sites money to go the the movies and hold hands with them, and men who want to pay for sex rarely offer complete strangers money when they could turn to a prostitute.

What is it? Is there some presumption that any woman who does what we do will take money for it, if given the chance? Do men look at the CM personals like a menu of potential dominatrices? Are there so many women doing this for money that a kind of financial sheen has come to overlay all of BDSM in the eyes of these men?

_____________________________

On that other site as Exegesis.

RE: "All women are pros" - 3/22/2009 8:25:07 AM

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: strangedesire
nor am I dominatrix-pretty.

Don't fucking do that to yourself. Please. I attended a fetish party in Houston a year ago. While there, I met a prodomme in her forties. At one point in the party, the topic of corsets came up, and she laughed and said, "I gave up corsets 60 pounds ago." She had regular clients, and charged for her services.

Skill, confidence and compassion for what the other person wants are a lot more important than a hot bod... even for horny men.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to strangedesire)

RE: "All women are pros" - 3/22/2009 8:31:44 AM

Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline

Most men will say anything and do anything to get cock attention and they think We will roll over for it---problem is too many still do.

_____________________________

I am the Cat, holder of the whip and chair.

"Let's see-whips, dips, chains, chips, yep sounds like a party to Me!"

(in reply to strangedesire)

RE: "All women are pros" - 3/22/2009 8:38:26 AM

Posts: 34
Joined: 3/20/2009
Status: offline

Personally, I think this attitude of "All women are Pros" stems from an inherent duality in these males: mysogyny and ego. They think "having to pay for it" demeans both partners, themselves (since they can't get it any other way) and the women (since they're all "ho's and bitches" anyway). It's disgusting, isn't it? So many males have no concept or want to engage in a "real relationship" that they opt out for a Pro whom in most cases, they then don't respect because she's a "pro" (whether she is or not). But in the end, I still believe such men are mysogynists deep down. Just IMO

(in reply to RedMagic1)

RE: "All women are pros" - 3/22/2009 8:43:34 AM

Posts: 34
Joined: 3/20/2009
Status: offline

I have no idea how that little vanilla image gets on my posts

but it is sooooooooo wrong LOL

(in reply to IndigoMystry)

RE: "All women are pros" - 3/22/2009 8:48:57 AM

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

It used to be said... the customer is always right. Well... if you are paying, you tend to be calling the shots. No emotional attachement... focus on sexual kink or fetish and self... a few bucks... all good in some people's eyes. Some like to be used for their money. Some can't find what they want on their own and will offer money to get something. There are a number of reasons that seem pretty general. It seems for half those offering there are double the amount complaining about it besides the dominant's. lol

I believe that at an adult site, some people seem to think that everyone here must be morally corupt and all social skills, rules and obligations go out the window. It's a free-for-all, do what you want... that's what it is for. And then... some are just clueless with no respect for anyone.

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

(in reply to IndigoMystry)

RE: "All women are pros" - 3/22/2009 8:52:20 AM

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: IndigoMystry

I have no idea how that little vanilla image gets on my posts but it is sooooooooo wrong LOL

If you will notice where your lil cone is... other's have different symbols. They denote how many post you have made. I think you will lose the cone on or about your 26th post. So post more to get rid of the irritating cone that suggest something that is not. lol We all went through our cone days... and many had that horror of... hey wait a minute... I am not vanilla! I don't want to be seen as vanilla! lol

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

(in reply to IndigoMystry)

RE: "All women are pros" - 3/22/2009 8:53:24 AM

Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: IndigoMystry

I have no idea how that little vanilla image gets on my posts but it is sooooooooo wrong LOL

The Vanilla icon goes away after a certain amount of posts. Has nothing to do with one's orientation.

_____________________________

<---- FYI, this picture looks JUST like me

http://www.littlesarbonn.com/Stickman/Stickman.htm
The Adventures of Stickman and the Unemployed Lego Spaceman

(in reply to IndigoMystry)

RE: "All women are pros" - 3/22/2009 8:58:13 AM

Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline

In a way, you're kind of guilty of the same thing the guys are guilty of when they assume that because you're dominant you must be a pro. Your post is pretty much saying that men tend to do this sort of thing. Some do. It just sounds like you've done something to attract this MINOR demographic of fetish-minded people. Once you realize that, just avoid them. You might want to do something to change the perception people are getting of you (which could be from your profile...didn't read it, so I'm not sure if that's where the problem is beginning).

But I'd venture to say that most submissive men aren't that way. I know I'm not, and I know a lot of male submissives in my social circles, and they're rarely like that. For the most part, I've rarely ever felt that someone I meet in the scene is someone I'd need to treat as a professional, EVEN if she actually was a professional, and we met for some social reason.

_____________________________

<---- FYI, this picture looks JUST like me

http://www.littlesarbonn.com/Stickman/Stickman.htm
The Adventures of Stickman and the Unemployed Lego Spaceman

(in reply to strangedesire)

RE: "All women are pros" - 3/22/2009 9:07:34 AM

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

I think that we are not talking in person here. We are talking online and email at an adult site. The majority of the emails not coming from friends are wankers with one story or another and here to be humiliated or pleased their way and with no social skills on how they get what they want. They don't care who they offend.

I don't see it as a problem in how someone is presenting themselves or what they are drawing to them. I have changed my profile many, many times to check these things out. I have narrowed things down and I get far less wanker in my box... hehe... but there are still wankers there. You can't stop it all since so many don't read profiles and therefore have no clue what you are about or what you present and are just coming at you becasue they can.

For it to be what we are doing or drawing unto ourselves... they would have to read the profile! lol

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

(in reply to littlesarbonn)

RE: "All women are pros" - 3/22/2009 9:10:08 AM

Posts: 31
Joined: 7/9/2008
Status: offline

Dear strangedesire,
Reading your post then reading your profile,
You are exceptional, and so young also,
Incredibly complex make up, You seem to have sorted out and incorporated into
your status as a Dominant Female..
At your age ,
I was still trying to understand the inner workings of a 1966 Triumph 650 Bonneville motorcycle engine.
coming to terms with "my" inner workings ? ... that took much longer.
I believe why males find you so desirable, is that you are genuine.
and they want to feel that "genuiness" of You.. transferred from your crop to them.
You have " IT " ......
In Ace's...
And Your Beautiful...
men's wallets opening, is giving of themselves...{for many men} a litnus test .
a very difficult thing to do ...
the fact that thier opening to You with out asking...
well, it doesn't surprise me...
i hope You are served well.... make sure You are...
love+peace weldedcollar.

(in reply to strangedesire)

RE: "All women are pros" - 3/22/2009 9:16:10 AM

Posts: 34
Joined: 3/20/2009
Status: offline

Thank you, Lockit (about the vanilla cone) LOL.

(in reply to weldedcollar)

RE: "All women are pros" - 3/22/2009 9:22:47 AM

Posts: 34
Joined: 3/20/2009
Status: offline

Lockit:

"The majority of the emails not coming from friends are wankers with one story or another and here to be humiliated or pleased their way and with no social skills on how they get what they want. They don't care who they offend. "

Exactly so. And I suspect this is what strangedesire and most of the women here experience, too. It's a strange dichotomy for someone who says they want humiliation to humiliate others they don't even know anything about yet.

Littlesarbonn:

While your mileage and that of your social circle may vary, the wider majority of alleged "male subs" are, as Lockit says, wankers, posers, fakes. It's been this way since the earliest BDSM websites with chat or profiles. It was less back in the BBS days or on IRC chat sites, but still the majority of males are just there for personal gratification of the offensive kind.

And yes, I will keep posting my opinions so I can get rid of that silly vanilla thingy. LOL

peace out

(in reply to IndigoMystry)

RE: "All women are pros" - 3/22/2009 9:57:06 AM

Posts: 360
Joined: 12/23/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: strangedesire
nor am I dominatrix-pretty.

Don't fucking do that to yourself. Please. I attended a fetish party in Houston a year ago. While there, I met a prodomme in her forties. At one point in the party, the topic of corsets came up, and she laughed and said, "I gave up corsets 60 pounds ago." She had regular clients, and charged for her services.

Skill, confidence and compassion for what the other person wants are a lot more important than a hot bod... even for horny men.

Poor wording, perhaps. I don't aspire to be a barbie doll in a corset and a whip - never have, never will. I'm interested in people who care about my mind and what I can do with my hands. Although there are good and decent people who will pass me up because I'm not a size 4 in thigh-high boots, for the most part not looking like a wanker fantasy just serves to weed out a certain type of wanker.

I like who I am.

_____________________________

On that other site as Exegesis.

(in reply to RedMagic1)

RE: "All women are pros" - 3/22/2009 10:01:30 AM

Posts: 360
Joined: 12/23/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn

But I'd venture to say that most submissive men aren't that way. I know I'm not, and I know a lot of male submissives in my social circles, and they're rarely like that. For the most part, I've rarely ever felt that someone I meet in the scene is someone I'd need to treat as a professional, EVEN if she actually was a professional, and we met for some social reason.

Absolutely, and I apologize if my post gave any other impression. Most of the submissive men that I actually talk to (I tend to screen out the obvious wankers) are sweet, respectful, and would never dream of doing something that could potentially insult. It's the minority that I'm curious about.

_____________________________

On that other site as Exegesis.

(in reply to littlesarbonn)

RE: "All women are pros" - 3/22/2009 10:40:54 AM

Posts: 360
Joined: 12/23/2008
Status: offline

weldedcollar,

You're very sweet. I haven't figured myself out yet, by any means, but I'm getting there.

Do take care.

_____________________________

On that other site as Exegesis.

(in reply to weldedcollar)

RE: "All women are pros" - 3/22/2009 10:49:32 AM

Posts: 1674
Joined: 8/13/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: strangedesire
I find it baffling - I'm not experienced enough to have technique worth paying for, nor am I dominatrix-pretty.

I'm sure that other women get this, but I'm wondering if anyone knows why. The men who contacted me had clearly read my profile, and when I asked them who they picked me rather than one of the many pros on CM, each told me that he found me intriguing for some reason. (Fair enough. I'm certainly unusual.) Still, I'm hard-pressed to think of a vanilla equivalent of this behavior.

I've experienced the vanilla equivalent on a couple of occasions. It wasn't particularly that I was dressed as a prostitute or carrying myself like one. But I was an attractive woman standing or walking alone on Davie Street on a Friday or Saturday night--and hope springs eternal, darlin'. Sometimes when a man is in the market for an item and he sees the one he wants, he makes an offer--whether there is a "for sale" sign up or not.

As for the various self-esteem issues that seem to crop up in your OP--I'm with RedMagic. Don't do it to yourself. Your looks are fine; you have good skin, a pretty smile, and a figure that many men find attractive. As for what submissive/masochistic men find appealing about your profile; I would hazard a guess that they are attracted by the unmistakeable stamp of intelligence, the clearly articulated desires and expectations, and the absolutely unambivalent and unapologetic sadism that you profess.

These are features that you cannot learn and you cannot buy. A woman either has two brain cells to rub together and a natural, inborn streak of pure sadism--or she doesn't. You cannot fake either one, no matter how well you memorize the script or how prettily you sneer and posture for the camera. A woman who genuinely wants and needs to hurt men for her own pleasure is worth her weight in gold--no matter how much she weighs.

< Message edited by ShaktiSama -- 3/22/2009 10:50:22 AM >

_____________________________

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
-- Robert A. Heinlein

(in reply to strangedesire)

RE: "All women are pros" - 3/22/2009 11:03:02 AM

Posts: 910
Joined: 8/24/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: strangedesire
I'm sure that other women get this, but I'm wondering if anyone knows why. The men who contacted me had clearly read my profile, and when I asked them who they picked me rather than one of the many pros on CM, each told me that he found me intriguing for some reason. (Fair enough. I'm certainly unusual.) Still, I'm hard-pressed to think of a vanilla equivalent of this behavior. Men who want romantic companionship don't generally offer girls on dating sites money to go the the movies and hold hands with them, and men who want to pay for sex rarely offer complete strangers money when they could turn to a prostitute.

That's because the ratio of vanilla women:prostitutes is much, much higher than the ratio of Dommes:pro-Dommes. Most vanilla guys figure that with a reasonable amount of work they can git sum for free, while a lot of submissive guys have given up on that.

As to why you and not a self-proclaimed pro, if I had to guess, I'd say it's because they're hoping you'll be cheaper than someone who has a Return On Investment target to hit.

_____________________________

-and the few still remember passion over rage-

(in reply to strangedesire)

RE: "All women are pros" - 3/22/2009 11:32:34 AM

Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline

I think some submissive men have only experienced pro-Domination, and assume that they can't get tied up and thwacked without paying for it, especially if they aren't in a romantic relationship. I don't think they're trying to humiliate you or force you to cater to their desires, per se. With that said, I personally would consider it a dealbreaker if a man offered me money like that.

(in reply to OneMoreWaste)

RE: "All women are pros" - 3/22/2009 11:42:34 AM

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

Take it as a compliment, Strangedesire. So many utterly inexperienced men (not just wankers) have only experienced bdsm through porn and escort services that the notion that we're all interested in the cash follows their logic.

Regarding the looks---there are some very successful pro dominants that look... not like the standard of western beauty. Folks like what they like, and not everyone wants the airbrushed model. I was successful for years, and I'm no magazine cover! It's the persona, really.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to Andalusite)

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> "All women are pros"

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2024

Terms of Service

0.219