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ElanSubdued -> RE: what not to do (3/31/2009 6:24:54 PM)
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submalewhore,
What not to do? Well, the advice you've been given already is pretty good.
- Type properly (in proper case and with proper grammar, and type words in full... no "u" instead of "you", etc.).
- Check your spelling.
- Read the entire profile before responding and do an honest assessment of whether you fit what the person is looking for. There's really no point in replying to someone who explicitly states criteria you don't fit.
- When you reply, explain what interested you about the person. Hopefully you've got more to say than "you're pictures are hot" because, as in the vanilla world, such an approach doesn't usually work and it especially won't work around here.
- Avoid falling into discussing a bunch of fetish stuff. Anyone on here already knows you're kinky simply because you are here. If a domme becomes interested in you, she will ask when this is important to her.
- Behave in a courteous, intelligent manner. Be responsive, but don't pour it on with a bunch of "yes Goddess", "I live to serve you Mistress", and this kind of muck. Use plain courtesy. (i.e. please, thank you, etc. work well.) Basically, just be yourself and show what makes you an engaging person inside and out.
Regarding your screen name and profile... I read your profile and this was my reaction:
- Most dommes I know don't want to re-make a boy. They want someone who already has an idea of who he is and who brings something to the table. This doesn't mean you have to be the most accomplished submissive on the planet. Rather, people who take initiative and who are curious enough that they have some hobbies and have educated themselves tend to stand out. Again, I'm not saying you have to be a scholar, but perhaps you've taken a course on interior design, the history of a certain country, the rules of a sport, or dog grooming. Volunteer work is something else that shows your character. Whatever it is you're passionate about and that reveals some tidbits about you, this is what I'd share. Along these same lines, instead of talking about what your domme can do for you, I suggest sharing some of the things a domme might find interesting and/or useful about you. Delete the part where you wrote: "i am looking for a woman to dominate me and tell me what to do". This is called a "do me" line and it is one of the most generic and unattractive things you can possibly write. There are thousands, if not millions, of submissives on this site using similar phrases.
- Regarding your screen name: personally, I'd change it (which might mean you have to create a new account). There's nothing overtly bad about submalewhore, but it makes you appear focused on fetishes. Certainly, you're looking to make a connection with a dominant woman, however, I encourage you to focus on the entire woman and not just her BDSM proclivities. With this in mind, reciprocally, I'd choose a screen name that is more reflective of you as an entire person and not just you the submissive.
By the way, I agree with Peon. I like your avatar picture a lot. It's a nice side shot of you that is relaxed and very attractive. Step up your text to this same level and you'll have the girls... er, ah... I mean *women* lining up. :-)
Welcome to the Crazy Train submalewhore!
Elan.
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