RE: what not to do (Full Version)

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PeonForHer -> RE: what not to do (4/1/2009 2:55:32 PM)

Awwww, thankee Lockit. [:)]



EmpressOphira -> RE: what not to do (4/2/2009 1:21:47 PM)

Sometimes guys call or write and are demanding assholes. You should avoid this. :)



TheCid -> RE: what not to do (4/2/2009 1:24:37 PM)

see i dont get that, why would a sub be demanding? it makes no sence to me



Lockit -> RE: what not to do (4/2/2009 1:36:25 PM)

I don't believe the one's that demand in email are submissive... just guys who want to get off and get pissy when you don't take part in their mistress porn play toy fantasy.  And quite a few of the one's I have gotten were from dominant men profiles or... outside the country.  They are far different than someone who might top from the bottom...



beeble -> RE: what not to do (4/2/2009 3:17:06 PM)

quote:

OneMoreWaste wrote:
Don't even THINK about sex or satisfying your fetishes

In an initial contact or on your profile?  If you're not going to be happy in a relationship where you don't get flogged with a wet noodle every night, it would be really stupid not to mention your noodle fetish in your profile...  On the other hand, if you just think that a bit of pasta play might be fun from time to time, there's no real need to mention it just yet.  Of course, you can always tick the box in the interests section of your profile.

beeble.



AlexandraLynch -> RE: what not to do (4/2/2009 3:26:22 PM)

Do your reading. Read profiles, and read up on various things so you know what's involved before you click off "Loves it!" in your Interests. If she's interested in something and you aren't familiar with it, a quick Google will at least give you an idea of it so you can talk about it.

Read her profile! All of it! Pay attention to what it says! Mine says, "Don't petition if outside central IN" and "Not interested in crossdressers". So what's in my inbox this morning? Someone from Russia, someone from the Czech republic, someone from Alabama, and someone from Ohio who wants me to buy the stuff and "force" him into becoming a sissymaid. (rolls eyes) I actually will consider people slightly outside the travel radius I set if they are intelligent and can write me a polite note indicating they read my profile and would like to discuss my requirements further.

If you are dyslexic, consider making your last line, "I apologize for my spelling, I am dyslexic." (smile) In fact, honesty is the best policy all the way round.

Please don't start a scene with your first note. We are trying to see if we are compatible enough to have a scene.

And if things progress enough for a meeting, for heaven's sake, show up or call. It is profoundly rude to leave anyone sitting there waiting.



beeble -> RE: what not to do (4/2/2009 3:32:56 PM)

quote:

dreamerdreaming wrote: Insist on a reciprocal  relationship. One in which you get as much as you give.
FullfigRIMAAM1 wrote:: Really?

Absolutely.  A relationship in which somebody's not getting what they want isn't going to get very far.

quote:

How is that measured?

It isn't.

quote:

Where does dominance and submission come in, if that is a concern/desire?

I have certain needs relating to my submission; Kita has certain needs related to her dominance.  These needs are closely aligned, which is why we're a good match.  Now, at any particular time when she wants to do X and I want to do Y, we do X because that's the nature of a D/s relationship.  And, as long as she doesn't object to Y, I usually get to do that some other time.

beeble.

[Edited for borken quoting]



DavanKael -> RE: what not to do (4/2/2009 5:00:16 PM)

Do not use honorifics/titles that you have not earned the privilege of utilizing
Do not offer your immediate, complete submission
Do not tell me your fantasies unless asked
Do not typographically sulk, mope, or lash out when you don't get your way
Do not send one word or oneline mails as a first communique
Do not presume or assume, ask
Best wishes, 
  Davan



PeonForHer -> RE: what not to do (4/2/2009 5:19:05 PM)

Do not send one word or oneline mails as a first communique

For me, I think that, on the whole, a few lines is about right.  Any less I imagine will look offhand; any more can leave one feeling demoralised should the message not get answered.   I'd read her profile and try to pick up on something non-sexual that's obviously of interest or concern to her.  And above all, I'd try to sound friendly - versus lecherous. 



FullfigRIMAAM1 -> RE: what not to do (4/2/2009 11:49:51 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: beeble
quote:

dreamerdreaming wrote: Insist on a reciprocal  relationship. One in which you get as much as you give.
FullfigRIMAAM1 wrote:: Really?

Absolutely.  A relationship in which somebody's not getting what they want isn't going to get very far.
Agreed, but I would find it impossible to imagine any submissive gets this by insisting on getting his.

quote:

quote:

Where does dominance and submission come in, if that is a concern/desire?
I have certain needs relating to my submission; Kita has certain needs related to her dominance.  These needs are closely aligned, which is why we're a good match.  Now, at any particular time when she wants to do X and I want to do Y, we do X because that's the nature of a D/s relationship.  And, as long as she doesn't object to Y, I usually get to do that some other time
beeble
I don't think I said anything contrary to this, besides it behooves a submissive to find a compatible dominant, because some of us are sort of my way or the highway types. [;)]    M



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