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ORIGINAL: DesFIP

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ORIGINAL: SassySarijane

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ORIGINAL: DesFIP


And this is one of the reasons I didn't respond to mail from sadists, I don't like this stuff. I don't like pain, I don't like my pain being ignored, I don't like someone getting off on hurting me. Because when he ignores your pain, it can then change over from ignoring your physical pain to ignoring, or not caring about, your emotional state. And for me, that's a deal breaker.

While some may go that route of ignoring one's pain followed by ignoring or not caring for one's emotional state, not all do. I know sadists who enjoy inflicting pain that the masochist or bottom doesn't necessarily like, who feed from it, but they do not ignore the pain and they watch to see that they don't go too far. Sadist doesn't equal evil and uncaring and there is a difference between hurting someone and harming them. It really comes down to how well you know the person and how well they know you and what you have discussed as far as limits, likes and dislikes, what kind of person they are, not whether or not they are a sadist.

~This is a general reply btw, just sparked by that particular part in your post, DesFIP, got me thinking.~

I think it's my fault. I didn't express it clearly. In my head, and I know this isn't universal, if someone's inflicting physical pain on me, then I will interpret it as him not caring about how I feel. Obviously this isn't true with any ethical sadist, but it is how I interpret it.

If the op also interprets physical pain as not caring, then she would have the same difficulty I do.

My way of getting around it was to look for a dominant bondage top, not a sadist.