Collarchat.com

Join Our Community		 Collarchat.com

Home  Login  Search 

Concern over another memebr


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Health and Safety >> Concern over another memebr Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Concern over another memebr - 4/10/2009 5:04:13 AM   
asprey


Posts: 2
Joined: 6/30/2005
Status: offline 		How do we deal with profiles which cause concern? I have just seen someone asking for someone to do them real harm, after suffering a brereeavement for which they are blaming themself.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Concern over another memebr - 4/10/2009 5:07:42 AM   
TheGorenSociety


Posts: 116
Joined: 2/13/2005
Status: offline 		FREE WILL

(in reply to asprey)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Concern over another memebr - 4/10/2009 5:28:47 AM   
barelynangel


Posts: 6233
Status: offline 		What causes you concern could cause another excitement. If you believe YOU have a right to interfere with what others are looking for, hell no one would have a profile on here for individual wantings and seekings are just that individual and you will always find people who agree, accept or disagree and don't accept about every profile you read. As long as its not violating the TOS, its none of your business, in my opinion.

It basically comes down to your attempting to regulate what someone should or should not be seeking. If its not violating the TOS, then seriously, its none of your business if you can't accept or at least allow someone their own wants and needs.

angel

_____________________________


What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
R.W. Emerson


(in reply to TheGorenSociety)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Concern over another memebr - 4/10/2009 2:17:55 PM   
chamberqueen


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline 		You can always write to them and let them know that you are concerned.  I have done this and found out that the person didn't mean to present themselves the way that they did and they made subsequent changes to their profile.  There's nothing at all wrong in reaching out to someone you are concerned about.  Just remember, they may not reach back.

_____________________________



(in reply to barelynangel)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Concern over another memebr - 4/10/2009 4:13:07 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		You can report the profile from the homepage if you search for their nickname.  There may be another way to do it, but this way I know.  But you might want to know the rules before you report something that isn't against the rules.

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to chamberqueen)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Concern over another memebr - 4/10/2009 4:29:23 PM   
ShaharThorne


Posts: 11071
Joined: 2/24/2009
From: Somewhere in TX
Status: offline 		I just recently was contacted by a male who wanted me to use him as a ashtray. I went hard limits automatically and blocked him. I make fun of myself in my profile, but I refuse to perform harm to when there can be scars due to burning and infections. Besides, I am a non-smoker...I prefer to use a crop for punishment, not a lit cigarette. Maybe a small cane for the bottom of the feet...

Shahar

_____________________________

Goddess of Yarn

You are making two and a half feet of irresistible, tubular sex! -Lola, Kinky Boots

Founder: Bitch with Tits

Whip me, beat me, make me feel cheap and have great sex

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Concern over another memebr - 4/11/2009 6:10:39 PM   
Zechriel


Posts: 308
Joined: 11/19/2007
Status: offline 		Good evening!
I say if you really want to go down that road, then mail them and ask if everything is okay or do they need someone to talk to sometimes. It can turn out to be a big burden of being someone's crying towel or turn out to be a friend. Worse thing they can do is block you or you block them. Good luck!
Love,
Zechriel


_____________________________

Sir HighlanderME's little z

(in reply to ShaharThorne)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Concern over another memebr - 4/13/2009 2:10:53 AM   
allthatjaz


Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ShaharThorne

I just recently was contacted by a male who wanted me to use him as a ashtray. I went hard limits automatically and blocked him. I make fun of myself in my profile, but I refuse to perform harm to when there can be scars due to burning and infections. Besides, I am a non-smoker...I prefer to use a crop for punishment, not a lit cigarette. Maybe a small cane for the bottom of the feet...

Shahar


Lol
Lots of subs like to be used as ashtrays and I hear ya saying its a hard limit but I'm wondering what this has to do with the ops question which was about a mental issue


_____________________________

S&M (Steve and Maria) persona libre de convencionalismos


Fan of edgeplay.co.uk

(in reply to ShaharThorne)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Concern over another memebr - 4/13/2009 2:29:58 AM   
subtlebutterfly


Posts: 2230
Joined: 6/15/2008
From: Not your hood
Status: offline 		I'd personally mind my own business. If I were to talk to every single person I "saw" something wrong with I wouldn't have time to live my life.
It's their life..as long as they're "srangers" to me I'm going to continue minding my own business. If they came to ME asking for help then it'd be a whole another thing.


_____________________________

~Ms. Awesomeness to YOU!~

(in reply to allthatjaz)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Concern over another memebr - 4/13/2009 2:56:22 AM   
HeavansKeeper


Posts: 1254
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TheGorenSociety

FREE WILL


Without knowing the particulars, this does seem to be the controlling issue. Some people want really twisted things. Since their desire has been made public, you COULD write them, with your warning or complaint - but be very prepared for it to be ignored or reciprocated with unwarranted violent defensiveness.

The only kinks in which CM really interferes are murder, real rape, bestiality, and involvement of minors. (Any that I'm missing?) If their interests do not fall under those categories, they are free to harm themselves.

*shrugs* people are into weird WEIRD things. Ever hear of bugchasers? People who try to contract STDs.

_____________________________

The Loving Owner of HisHeavan

... You've waited your whole life for this moment...

(in reply to TheGorenSociety)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Concern over another memebr - 4/13/2009 4:07:24 AM   
subtlebutterfly


Posts: 2230
Joined: 6/15/2008
From: Not your hood
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HeavansKeeper

*shrugs* people are into weird WEIRD things. Ever hear of bugchasers? People who try to contract STDs.

ARE YOU SERIOUS? ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww I hope this's catagorized as mental illness.


_____________________________

~Ms. Awesomeness to YOU!~

(in reply to HeavansKeeper)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Concern over another memebr - 4/13/2009 4:51:40 AM   
asprey


Posts: 2
Joined: 6/30/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HeavansKeeper

Without knowing the particulars, this does seem to be the controlling issue.


Do you often pass judgement on strangers "without knowing the particulars", or is this a special case?

(in reply to HeavansKeeper)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Concern over another memebr - 4/13/2009 5:17:42 AM   
allthatjaz


Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subtlebutterfly

quote:

ORIGINAL: HeavansKeeper

*shrugs* people are into weird WEIRD things. Ever hear of bugchasers? People who try to contract STDs.

ARE YOU SERIOUS? ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww I hope this's catagorized as mental illness.



I have heard and read about this too. There is a club in the UK that you can't join if you don't have HIV. Its proved to be such a popular club that some people are prepared to be contaminated with the 'black seed' just to become a member!


_____________________________

S&M (Steve and Maria) persona libre de convencionalismos


Fan of edgeplay.co.uk

(in reply to subtlebutterfly)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Concern over another memebr - 4/13/2009 8:08:00 AM   
GotSteel


Posts: 5871
Joined: 2/19/2008
Status: offline 		I'd also have to say this really depends on the details, what exactly is "real harm"? Someone saying they want a spanking because they have been a bad girl is very different than someone advertising that they want to be killed and eaten.

(in reply to subtlebutterfly)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Concern over another memebr - 4/13/2009 11:55:39 AM   
HeavansKeeper


Posts: 1254
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: asprey

quote:

ORIGINAL: HeavansKeeper

Without knowing the particulars, this does seem to be the controlling issue.


Do you often pass judgement on strangers "without knowing the particulars", or is this a special case?



You must be new here .

Yes. I judge people without all the facts, because I (humans) never have all the facts. Eventually we have to fill in missing spots with assumption. In this instance, you've provided a prompt which is very vague. Someone blames themselves for previous harm done to them, and wants it again. This can be quite innocuous or potentially fatal. I scaled my response to match. I believe the absurdity of the person "in danger" won't make a difference in their response. I hope I'm wrong.

_____________________________

The Loving Owner of HisHeavan

... You've waited your whole life for this moment...

(in reply to asprey)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Concern over another memebr - 4/13/2009 4:03:32 PM   
pixidustpet


Posts: 857
Joined: 6/4/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz
I have heard and read about this too. There is a club in the UK that you can't join if you don't have HIV. Its proved to be such a popular club that some people are prepared to be contaminated with the 'black seed' just to become a member!



while it sounds horrible, having a club for people who are HIV makes a lot of sense to me.  that way, they dont have to worry so much about "what if the barrier method fails and i infect someone?" 

but the people who deliberately get infected to join?  that's more than a bit nuts if you ask me.  yes, the treatments are better now than in the beginning, but dayum!

kitten

(in reply to allthatjaz)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Concern over another memebr - 4/13/2009 8:06:41 PM   
FangsNfeet


Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline 		I say to myself "What an idiot." and move on to the next profile. But later, something kicks in, and I'll say a prayer for the person before going to bed. 

_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to asprey)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Concern over another memebr - 4/14/2009 6:39:45 AM   
slavekahlan


Posts: 18
Joined: 11/3/2007
Status: offline 		As has been said i would attempt to contact them to see if they would feel comfortable in communicating. From what you are saying that may be self destructive in a negative manner as a way of assauging their guilt. i would express your concern and let them take the ball and run it from there. i realize that each person is diverse in their desires especially in the M/s realm which should be respected. i also believe that all too often people are ignored as it would be too time consuming, they are not familiar, or the need to not be intrusive exists which i think is another manner of apathy. Yes i am a bleeding heart liberal, i have a soft heart and i care about living souls whether i "know" them or not.

respectfully Master David's kahlan

(in reply to FangsNfeet)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Concern over another memebr - 4/14/2009 5:27:30 PM   
ShaharThorne


Posts: 11071
Joined: 2/24/2009
From: Somewhere in TX
Status: offline 		JAz, its the holding the cigarette to a person for over 90 seconds to cause a burn that I don't do. If someone wants burns like that, than I refuse to deal with it. I am quite willing to pee on them, paddle, spank, use a crop and smack the bottom of their feet, but the introduction of burns that can cause infection is my limitation.

As for it possibly being a mental health issue, recommend they see their local pdoc or mental health facility. That is all we can do on this end and I am a mental health patient who dared to seek help without people being concerned over me (except my mother).

Got to excuse me, but I am ODing on milk chocolate and am about to jump all over the living room.

Shahar

_____________________________

Goddess of Yarn

You are making two and a half feet of irresistible, tubular sex! -Lola, Kinky Boots

Founder: Bitch with Tits

Whip me, beat me, make me feel cheap and have great sex

(in reply to slavekahlan)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Concern over another memebr - 4/15/2009 10:29:13 PM   
kiyari


Posts: 631
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: chamberqueen

You can always write to them and let them know that you are concerned.  I have done this and found out that the person didn't mean to present themselves the way that they did and they made subsequent changes to their profile.  There's nothing at all wrong in reaching out to someone you are concerned about.  Just remember, they may not reach back.


---also---

quote:

ORIGINAL: Zechriel

Good evening!
I say if you really want to go down that road, then mail them and ask if everything is okay or do they need someone to talk to sometimes. It can turn out to be a big burden of being someone's crying towel or turn out to be a friend. Worse thing they can do is block you or you block them. Good luck!
Love,
Zechriel



Few in here will suggest reaching out to a post which reeks of pain.

If you are moved to do so, be prepared to get involved in the minituae of another's situation.

Who can say, what such an investment on your part may reap...

_____________________________

Black Water Dragon

(in reply to Zechriel)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Health and Safety >> Concern over another memebr Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2024
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.717