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RE: surfing profiles - 2/6/2006 1:26:40 PM

Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
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I don't know how to search and never have....never searched......dayum, I have only met people from chatting ..... where is the search button? I must be missing out...LOL

Peace, Kevin

_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to Laura)

RE: surfing profiles - 2/6/2006 2:22:32 PM

Posts: 817
Joined: 1/1/2006
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quote:

Most men are subs though and not as much fun.

Seems the exact opposite here, most I've met seem to be Dom, others Switch. I've yet to meet but one submissive male.

_____________________________

Living the Dichotomy

Painslut? How about "Endorphin Junkie"?

For information about "the furry thing" please check out my profile journal entry for: 1/17/2006

Alpha of a leather family of four. Master to the slave z.

(in reply to Laura)

RE: surfing profiles - 2/7/2006 3:37:31 PM

Posts: 338
Joined: 11/13/2005
Status: offline

I do. But I find many of the profiles vague & I am not sure about if the person truly has a understanding of what a switch is.

(in reply to fergus)

RE: surfing profiles - 2/9/2006 2:48:50 AM

Posts: 351
Joined: 11/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Slipstreme

quote:

Most men are subs though and not as much fun.

Seems the exact opposite here, most I've met seem to be Dom, others Switch. I've yet to meet but one submissive male.

*laughs* That is very odd. I seem to meet a lot of submissive males.. even some that believe themselves to be Dom.

jk.. well kinda.

(in reply to Slipstreme)

RE: surfing profiles - 2/11/2006 8:06:14 PM

Posts: 1467
Joined: 6/22/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: fergus

Okay, this question might be better on another forum, but here goes.

Does anyone ever search the 'switches' catagory when surfing profile? I mean, anyone other than other switches?

fergus

Not I.

TexasMaam

(in reply to fergus)

RE: surfing profiles - 2/12/2006 6:38:14 AM

Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Oumae
I rarely do searches either and I don't have set preferences to block mail as I like making friends of all persuasions.

I have nothing against switches nor would I be anti having one as a sub, I like strong men who are confident in what they are be it switch or sub. Just once they don't hope to switch with me.

Oumae

quote:

ORIGINAL: fergus
You make a good point Oumae that is probably obvious to some, but not to others. Some switches can be totally in one role with a person (totally Dom with one person, totally sub to another). Just because someone is a switch doesn't mean that you and that person can't have the type of relationship that you want.

communication, communication, communication.

fergus

So what becomes of the role of the switch that is not expressed in the primary relationship?

I have seen this dilemma unfold much like that of an individual who is bisexual. No one partner will truly be able to fulfill the partner with such diverse cravings/desires/needs. It is also a lot like those of us who have attempted to 'turn-off' our role & try living/dating vanilla... the core of our being won't allow us to deny this part of ourselves.

If the switch conforms to the role of a sub for the sake of having a partnership with a dominant, eventually those top feelings will scream out for recognition. (or visa-versa)

MUCH COMMUNICATION will be needed. The new couple will need to explore that this will most likely be the case & respect their switch partner for having a duality that they themselves may not & can not fulfill for them.

This is also why I do not seek a switch. As I mentioned in my earlier post... I recognize my current submissive to be my alpha & there would be no outlet for a switch to express their top side.

_____________________________

MstrssPassion

(in reply to fergus)

RE: surfing profiles - 2/15/2006 7:19:04 PM

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Joined: 2/25/2005
Status: offline

I agree in that listing myself as a switch really limits contacts. True doms and true subs don't want to contact you for some reason. I can play either role equally as well, so I hope more will consider that in the future. There is no need or desire for me to try and turn the tables in any situatution. I think some worry about that.

(in reply to Laura)

RE: surfing profiles - 2/16/2006 11:54:48 AM

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Joined: 6/22/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: John665623

I agree in that listing myself as a switch really limits contacts. True doms and true subs don't want to contact you for some reason. I can play either role equally as well, so I hope more will consider that in the future. There is no need or desire for me to try and turn the tables in any situatution. I think some worry about that.

I think many worry about that more in terms of relationship, or at least they worry about that their sub (or Dom) will be unhappy and unfulfilled, which can lead to problems.

fergus

(in reply to John665623)

RE: surfing profiles - 2/21/2006 9:04:03 PM

Laura

Posts: 573
Joined: 6/22/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline

Any man that starts telling me what he wants before he even knows my name is a sub, in my never humble opinion.

Though I do meet the odd sub who is different, they are very few and far between. Most men begin with what I can do for them. Of course, there are also those who want to know what I like (sexually only) and never offer any information about themselves. Those aren't subs, just guys looking for a professional whore.

Now I remeber why I stopped coming back here! LOL

PS- Nice to see a whole flock of new people. But what did you do with the old ones?

< Message edited by Laura -- 2/21/2006 9:09:32 PM >

(in reply to fergus)

RE: surfing profiles - 2/22/2006 9:58:20 AM

champagnewishes

Posts: 1310
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Orange County
Status: offline

ORIGINAL: Slipstreme

quote:

I am starting a new pet project: starting a BDSM related discussion group for the University of Florida

Wow...very impressive and most definately, Good Luck with it!

It never occured to me to search under "switch". One reason is I rarely search.
Second reason is if I do search, it's a search for potential LTR's as i prefer to meet friends on this side.
Third, i have to plead ignorance. Although i have been aware of the term "switch" for a number of years, until recently, i did not have a full understanding of what the person behind this term was all about. It's been a long time (almost 20 years) since i did the public route and to be honest, i don't remember ever having met anyone that called themselves a switch back then. Looking back, at least in the groups i frequented (in Houston in the 80's), we were ALL switches to some degree and we didn't necessarily find the need to conform to one label...we all lived outside and inside our own box at some point and time. So I think it's pretty damn cool that one could be comfortable and have both inside their own box.

< Message edited by champagnewishes -- 2/22/2006 10:03:06 AM >

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(in reply to Slipstreme)

RE: surfing profiles - 4/6/2006 9:44:30 AM

bignipples2share

Posts: 611
Joined: 4/19/2004
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I think many worry about that more in terms of relationship, or at least they worry about that their sub (or Dom) will be unhappy and unfulfilled, which can lead to problems.

fergus
________________
I rarely search, when I do, it's for a dom, never a switch. I do think that the person would be unhappy in a LTR since their needs are not getting met. I like a mono relationship and wouldn't want to start something that I feel they'd just go searching for later on, down the road. The reason I don't search for a sub is, I have no desire to spank them or anything else, to them. Now if they want to do some things to themselves (sounds), as they're doing things to me as well, then that's just perfect <evil grin >
I'm one who prefers to ask for all of a persons sexual preferences right up front. Since I'm looking for a partner with the added sexual 'bent' that I'm seeking, why beat around the bush. I can have sexually incompatable offline in the vanilla world, yet 'click' in every other way. I have learned just recently that if you don't ask upfront, you may agree to meet someone who is into totally things and you have no intentions of ever going there with them. Wanna see someone come unglued, just say no to someone who has changed their profile from the time you first looked at it to the time you agreed to meet them. Whew, what a mess.
Since I don't go to munches, play parties or anything like that, I have the vanilla world, or here to search for a partner. My thoughts are, I have no problem with telling people who I'm doing in my bedroom, just not what I'm doing while I'm in there. My main reason to be online is to search for someone I'm sexually connected with, then find out if we're compatable in other ways offline. Maybe I'll meet someone, maybe I won't. I'm fine with myself either way, but the option is here and I may as well take advantage of it.

(in reply to champagnewishes)

RE: surfing profiles - 4/6/2006 10:48:23 AM

MistressLorelei

Posts: 997
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline

Probably the Dominant Females here don't need to 'surf' much as the submissive/switch males greatly outnumber us. When curiousity has set in, and I have looked, I did not look at anyone who calls themself a switch. I have had a relationship with a switch, and while he remained submissive towards Me, I found qualities that would be present in a switch, but not in a 'pure' submissive. I know many don't agree, but I think someone is either submissive or he isn't.... so switches are not for Me in the long-term.

(in reply to bignipples2share)

RE: surfing profiles - 4/6/2006 2:10:09 PM

Posts: 1044
Joined: 4/5/2006
Status: offline

I may or may not be qualified to comment on this, but that has never really stopped me in the past. Fairly used to the taste of my own foot, though, too.

I think the reason that most exclusively dominant or submissive folk tend to overlook/disregard switches in their searches is it's diffiult to keep some disturbing questions out of the mind.

Some of the biggest ones for me, in terms of a female switch, are:

1. Is she actually submitting to me or is it just a desire that will fade in due time?
2. Is she trying to 'dom' me, or is this just a facet of her submissive side being rebellious at the moment?

Some other comments/questions I have seen on other forum boards, most now defunct: (most are going to be paraphrased from memory since they can't be cut and pasted in some cases)

From a submissive - "How can I completely submit to someone that can just as easily submit to someone else?"
From a dominant - "Why waste the time with a submissive that won't be submissive the entire time?"

The comments go on like that quite often, actually. Most people have either a dominant or submissive personality. It's kind of a yin-yang scenario, I suppose you could say. In terms of energy balancing, perhaps a switch is closer to being even-keeled than a pure submissive or dominant.

(in reply to MistressLorelei)

RE: surfing profiles - 4/6/2006 3:25:00 PM

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Joined: 1/3/2005
Status: offline

I'm actually dealing with this question at the moment and a profile revamping is underway. Our new couple profile will list us as a sub couple in the heading (since we are seeking a Domme who would enjoy topping us both) and then explain that we are switches in the first few lines of text.

(in reply to Dustyn)

RE: surfing profiles - 4/6/2006 7:45:59 PM

Posts: 154
Joined: 3/18/2006
Status: offline

I'm a switch who searches for other switches. No one else. That's because I'm a 50/50 switch so I'm not interested in being only one role for the whole of the relationship.

(in reply to fergus)

RE: surfing profiles - 4/8/2006 8:21:13 AM

Posts: 24
Joined: 9/25/2005
From: Wyoming
Status: offline

Even before I found my slave I always searched switch profiles along with subs and slaves. I like switches. They're fun to talk to.

Lady Wolfdreams

(in reply to fergus)

RE: surfing profiles - 4/10/2006 2:21:28 PM

Laura

Posts: 573
Joined: 6/22/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: John665623
True doms and true subs don't want to contact you for some reason.

That's the good part. Doms and subs who don't know what a Switch is are not going to be of interest to me. I don't want someone emailing me who doesn't have clue one. I had my profile as Domme for several months and had nothing but garbage emails. None of them even read my profile, just saw female and Dom and opened their pants expecting to be serviced.

Why would you want to waste time on someone who isn't in to you?

_____________________________

Bait & Switch - Adult column

(in reply to John665623)

RE: surfing profiles - 4/11/2006 3:47:23 PM

Posts: 1
Joined: 4/10/2006
Status: offline

Hi

I am new around here but would like to say that of the posts i have read thus far this is deffinatly one of the best.

I am a switch my self and so find this interesting. I have had trouble in the past finding good groups on the web. Well sorry for the spam just wanted to say! alos sorry for my spelling :)

(in reply to Laura)

RE: surfing profiles - 4/23/2006 10:03:35 PM

Posts: 3
Joined: 11/18/2005
Status: offline

When I decide to perv profiles I look at everyone, and I mean everyone from men, women, trans whatever is inbetween and all facets from slaves to Doms. However I am a Dom and male and I do not switch but I am currently seeing a female switch, a switch is not a bad thing as long as they do not try and switch on me, and she does not. She is happy I am happy so its all good, but then beeing the man I am I would allow her to dom someone when she had an itch, just ground rules no sex. I think that is fair.

(in reply to fergus)

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