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Femdom demeanor: "Kneel at your PC" - 1/31/2006 1:03:19 PM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline
When I hear stories about submissive men being approached online by femdoms with a huge "you are a slave, I am a femdom" demeanor, I wonder what exactly is going on. Are there women that are believing this to be true? That because she is emailing a submissive (who doesn't know her from Adam), he must immediately submit?

We (femdoms who are sincere in our desires, level headed) try and try and try to discourage sub men from addressing "all femdoms" as "Mistress," we encourage them to send level headed, non-worshipful emails as an introduction, and we suggest that the best way to approach a femdom is as a woman first and foremost -- and not to assume any role.

Meanwhile, what is going on then on the other end? Who are these women that are barking orders in the first email, or demanding submission out of the gate? Who are these women that send a total stranger an email that says, "You must respond to me within 24 hours and address me as Mistress or you will be blocked."

Here are my thoughts:

* These are professionals and/or scammers that know that they will get a reaction if they appeal to the submissive side of men -- the harder, faster, more abrasive and demanding, the better. Easier to catch the weaker ones hook, line and sinker.

* These are men demanding fantasy material by pretending to be femdoms.

* These are honestly misguided women that think this is the way you meet, greet and approach submissive men.

Does anyone else have any ideas?
What do sub men think of this approach? Honestly...have you ever gotten an email from a femdom (stranger) and it was worded aggressively, slightly demanding -- and did it arouse something in you and engage your interest?

I will make a confession. In my single days, when I used online personals or the net as a way to meet subs, I found that I would get 10x the response if my attitude was on the more aggressive side vs. totally down to earth, "girl next door"/no mention of kinks, etc. I found that if I were *seductive*, I would get huge responses but would then have to kind of backtrack *out* of the fantasy-only role and make it clear that playtime/get-to-know-you time via email/phone were two different balls of wax and that there was a time and place for everything. However, it was never so blatant as to say "Kneel when you respond to me!" or "Refer to yourself as slave."

Are there women that are simply using an approach they believe will attract attention?

kasha

_____________________________

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Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]
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RE: Femdom demeanor: "Kneel at your PC" - 1/31/2006 1:15:09 PM   
fergus


Posts: 1110
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline 		Good questions all!

And I must admit, as a (mostly) sub male, I do respond well to a commanding woman. But to be fair, perhaps only in sexual terms. Instead of learning about that "down to earth" woman, I suddenly get an image in my mind ... which is grossely dehumanizing to both me and her.

Yes, I believe that women who use that approach PROBABLY fall into one of the above catagories, and ultimately I would be better off getting to know a person before submitting in that way ... and my second mind usually allows me to do just that.

But ... we men folk are simple creatures. And nothing gets us going like a woman who is all sexed up and ready to go. Ultimately though, this is great in fantasy, great for one-off play .... but in my experience .... NEVER good for building any kind of relationship.

fergus

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Femdom demeanor: "Kneel at your PC" - 1/31/2006 1:15:29 PM   
Real0ne


Posts: 21189
Joined: 10/25/2004
Status: offline 		Mostly cyber,

sometimes men,

sometimes extremist women who believe a "tru" slave will be delivered in chains to her doorstep to begin slavery and serve, no questions, much like buying a cow for a farm.

How do i respond? i laugh, then they get the plonk. i do not have a cam for obvious reasons. and i never kneel to anyone that blurts it out such as in a pm. but it can be entertaining to let them run thru their drill sometimes :)

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Femdom demeanor: "Kneel at your PC" - 1/31/2006 1:26:00 PM   
veronicaofML


Posts: 1317
Joined: 11/19/2005
From: from iowa..now in wisconsin
Status: offline 		vs. totally down to earth, "girl next door"/no mention of kinks, etc
---------

EXCELLENT posting!
and "I" opt for the girl next door with the laid back hi how are you my lil pet...
"I" respond to...nice...vs...mean and nasty...my violent back ground just gives me the run or fight syndrome and i tend to wanna fight.!!

YOU have said, over and over,..about,...how YOU like to entice boys,...
thats what "I" respond to. someone whispering in my ear,...gently touching me...being seductive...slow and steady...

but
it aint never happened.
i am just one mean old sumbitch and never never had 1 hooker in my taxi in 20 yrs ever proposition ME!
and i had a LOT of hookers runnin outta the "erotic massage parlor"

i suppose, there very well may be, a lot of males that DO for some reason that escapes ME, react to the stern nasty domme.
me? naw. couldnt do it.
sounds too close to my 3 wives,..all of my buddies' wives n gf's...
all "I" have known all MY life ARE mean spirited females. where "I" come from,,...as i have said...
the womenfolk in MY neck o' the woods are more manly tomboys than girlie girls...
"I" aint NEVER met a real life girlie girl...always dreamed of it..


_____________________________

drugs sex and rock n roll,...drugs are good and so is the rock n roll, sex is over rated"
=============
"go straight to hell, do not pass go and do not collect $200"



(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Femdom demeanor: "Kneel at your PC" - 1/31/2006 1:42:31 PM   
Nuke718


Posts: 240
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline 		Personally the over eggressive approach makes me chcukle. In my early online days I was pretty much Dom looking for sub, and after reading a bunch of dominant ads like that I mimicked the style. Boy what a mistake, LoL. I got a lot more response by saying that I liked the Blues then I did telling the "bitches" to obey.

Now when I read an ad like that from either gender I just figure that it's somebody learning their own style or a scammer. Same thing I think when I see payment, tribute, or generous in the first sentence.

N }:-

(in reply to veronicaofML)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Femdom demeanor: "Kneel at your PC" - 1/31/2006 1:50:21 PM   
LadyMorgynn


Posts: 800
Joined: 11/25/2005
From: N. Carolina
Status: offline 		I think these kinds of emails are the result of a rude, arrogant, egotistical mindset and/or possibly a vanilla pretending to be what she thinks it is to be "dominant."

BTW, these types abound with male "dominants" also.

As for me... I don't believe in FemDom any more than I believe that men are naturally dominant. Heck, I don't even believe that I myself am "naturally" dominant: I AM Dominant. That is who and what I am. I don't need to prove it to anyone, or to act superior or dominant to anyone other than My slave. or to give orders to complete strangers in emails.


_____________________________

---
Lady Morgynn
www.farhorizons.net/LadyMorgynn

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Femdom demeanor: "Kneel at your PC" - 1/31/2006 2:21:45 PM   
yourMissTress


Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		This type exists in every group of orientation. I have gotten emails from subs both male and female, that start out "Bowing at your feet and kissing your beautiful toes" and from doms that simply say "on your knees before Me bitch!". They usually are blocked immediately.

The shock value of my profile brings in many responses, one downside of which is that most of them are only fantasizing and respond to the more extreme as such. However, it is also a fair representation of who I am during a scene so I leave it up, although I have tamed it down considerably in the last few months. But I never said anything like " you will be treated as owned property from the start".

I talk to them as I would talk to any other person, and I'm really a very nice person. As a result I have also been told that I'm too nice to be a "true fem dom" and that I'm not harsh enough. Geez! Sorry but I don't Dominate someone that I don't own or expect to own and I don't assume ownership after an email or two! I also can't be IN scene, 24/7/365.

IMO these are women that don't know the first thing about being dominant offline. They are game players that are living out a fantasy in chat rooms and IM and email. Ever visited one of those "FemDom" chat rooms on Yahoo? What a joke!!! The men walk in and announce that they are bowing and kissing feet and bringing flowers and the "fem doms" demand certain greetings and protocol...good Goddess!!! There are probably a good number of men that are also playing games thrown in that mix.





_____________________________

Tress


"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother


(in reply to AAkasha)
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RE: Femdom demeanor: "Kneel at your PC" - 1/31/2006 4:48:07 PM   
Real0ne


Posts: 21189
Joined: 10/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: yourMissTress

This type exists in every group of orientation. I have gotten emails from subs both male and female, that start out "Bowing at your feet and kissing your beautiful toes" and from doms that simply say "on your knees before Me bitch!". They usually are blocked immediately.

The shock value of my profile brings in many responses, one downside of which is that most of them are only fantasizing and respond to the more extreme as such. However, it is also a fair representation of who I am during a scene so I leave it up, although I have tamed it down considerably in the last few months. But I never said anything like " you will be treated as owned property from the start".

I talk to them as I would talk to any other person, and I'm really a very nice person. As a result I have also been told that I'm too nice to be a "true fem dom" and that I'm not harsh enough. Geez! Sorry but I don't Dominate someone that I don't own or expect to own and I don't assume ownership after an email or two! I also can't be IN scene, 24/7/365.

IMO these are women that don't know the first thing about being dominant offline. They are game players that are living out a fantasy in chat rooms and IM and email. Ever visited one of those "FemDom" chat rooms on Yahoo? What a joke!!! The men walk in and announce that they are bowing and kissing feet and bringing flowers and the "fem doms" demand certain greetings and protocol...good Goddess!!! There are probably a good number of men that are also playing games thrown in that mix.


i just read your profile and i like that long list of interests too. yes you do come on strong and that is most likely what is happening that you are getting someone fresh out of one of those chat rooms doing the only thing they know how and that is to second guess from your profile how to act toward you. Since your profile is so direct and vivid i am sure they mail you trying to act the part as they would in fantasy land.

i get women, men, ocassionally a ts or tv that say the famous last words "on ur knees bitch" then they get they get the cyber plonk.

(in reply to yourMissTress)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Femdom demeanor: "Kneel at your PC" - 1/31/2006 5:00:49 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline 		I would say there are many fem doms of the type you described and an even greater number of male subs who respond to just such an approach.
I've gotten soooooo much hate mail and IMs for not acceptint the "I'm kneeling in front of my computer, with one hand on my cock approach" , that I used to get a little insecure thinking I am a different kind of freak for not accepting this particularly distateful ultra freaky approach.
Than I got comfortable with being called a bitch (NEVER to my face of course) and not a real domme.. LMAO M

< Message edited by BlkTallFullfig -- 1/31/2006 5:02:11 PM >

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to AAkasha)
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RE: Femdom demeanor: "Kneel at your PC" - 1/31/2006 5:44:49 PM   
Real0ne


Posts: 21189
Joined: 10/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig

I would say there are many fem doms of the type you described and an even greater number of male subs who respond to just such an approach.
I've gotten soooooo much hate mail and IMs for not acceptint the "I'm kneeling in front of my computer, with one hand on my cock approach" , that I used to get a little insecure thinking I am a different kind of freak for not accepting this particularly distateful ultra freaky approach.
Than I got comfortable with being called a bitch (NEVER to my face of course) and not a real domme.. LMAO M



i got so much bs on here the point i got fed up and removed my profile, pic, everything! but to happen to a guy, i cant imagine how bad it is for you fems.

you all obvioulsy have a incredibly thicker skin and more tenacity than i do!

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Femdom demeanor: "Kneel at your PC" - 1/31/2006 5:56:44 PM   
UtopianRanger


Posts: 3251
Status: offline

quote:


When I hear stories about submissive men being approached online by femdoms with a huge "you are a slave, I am a femdom" demeanor, I wonder what exactly is going on. Are there women that are believing this to be true? That because she is emailing a submissive (who doesn't know her from Adam), he must immediately submit?

quote:

* These are honestly misguided women that think this is the way you meet, greet and approach submissive men.


Personally, I think most of the women that use this type of delivery never get too far with anyone worth their salt. Only those that are dabbling in pure fantasy would succumb to such an approach....I think those based in reality would ignore it.

quote:

* These are professionals and/or scammers that know that they will get a reaction if they appeal to the submissive side of men -- the harder, faster, more abrasive and demanding, the better. Easier to catch the weaker ones hook, line and sinker.


I know there is another thread {boring} dealing with this subject matter, so I'll hit this one lightly.

I just think the whole scammer/money-girl thing is vastly over-blown by guys who A} As one lady said: Probably don't have much money to begin with -- And B} Never tap into their intuitive prowess and use it when assessing possible compatibility...

Surely I wouldn't come here telling all that I have never been contacted by one of the money girls..... But honestly, they are few and far between. For me, overwhelmingly.... the women I have met off this site have been smart, capable, honest and hardworking.


Just some thoughts....


- The Ranger



< Message edited by UtopianRanger -- 1/31/2006 5:57:47 PM >

_____________________________

"If you are going to win any battle, you have to do one thing. You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do... the body is never tired if the mind is not tired."

-General George S. Patton


(in reply to AAkasha)
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RE: Femdom demeanor: "Kneel at your PC" - 1/31/2006 6:21:21 PM   
Real0ne


Posts: 21189
Joined: 10/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: UtopianRanger
I just think the whole scammer/money-girl thing is vastly over-blown by guys who A} As one lady said: Probably don't have much money to begin with -- And B} Never tap into their intuitive prowess and use it when assessing possible compatibility...

Surely I wouldn't come here telling all that I have never been contacted by one of the money girls..... But honestly, they are few and far between. For me, overwhelmingly.... the women I have met off this site have been smart, capable, honest and hardworking.
Just some thoughts....

- The Ranger


well the average pro is what? 250 per hour? and the hotsies are say 500 per hour?

so for 24/7 taking an 8 hour day, @ 250 thats 14,000 per week, and that comes to 728,000 per year. for 500 per hour gurl thats just a mere 1. 46 million per year. now thats not including those 100 dollar dinner dates.

so any typical white collar guy can afford that pretty easily.

i dont understand it when guys say they are not contacted by them i find that surprizing. maybe things are a changin.

(in reply to UtopianRanger)
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RE: Femdom demeanor: "Kneel at your PC" - 1/31/2006 7:08:28 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

so for 24/7 taking an 8 hour day, @ 250 thats 14,000 per week, and that comes to 728,000 per year. for 500 per hour gurl thats just a mere 1. 46 million per year. now thats not including those 100 dollar dinner dates.


#1 If you can find a Pro that could keep in pro mode 24/7/365, PLAYING in charge because all too often the one with the coin expects to call at least their choice of kink, I'd be stunned speachless. I personally don't think any Domme could deal with that.

#2 You show me more than one Pro Domme making 14,000 a week by themselves and I'll change careers tomorrow.

(in reply to Real0ne)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Femdom demeanor: "Kneel at your PC" - 1/31/2006 7:09:05 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

i got so much bs on here the point i got fed up and removed my profile, pic, everything! but to happen to a guy, i cant imagine how bad it is for you fems.

you all obvioulsy have a incredibly thicker skin and more tenacity than i do!
I think we absolutely have to develop thicker skin and enough tenacity not to allow ourselves dominated by people we consider jerkoffs...
Just like you should not allow the people whom you don't care for or respect to piss you off and send you into hiding. M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to Real0ne)
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RE: Femdom demeanor: "Kneel at your PC" - 1/31/2006 7:38:41 PM   
pollux


Posts: 657
Joined: 7/26/2005
Status: offline 		My experience pretty much lines up with Ranger's.

quote:

What do sub men think of this approach? Honestly...have you ever gotten an email from a femdom (stranger) and it was worded aggressively, slightly demanding -- and did it arouse something in you and engage your interest?


I've been approached this way twice. In one case, it was very clearly a scam. In the other it was very clearly not. The first one I just ignored. The second, I chose to engage her. Was it arousing? No. It was more out of curiosity than anything else. It soon became clear that the person was a little unhinged.

As far as money dommes, I haven't seen them. I mean, I've seen their profiles, but I haven't been accosted by them. I was approached by a pro one time, via what seemed to be a mass mailing, because she had just started sessioning in my area. She was based in Tampa but was now coming to Orlando once a week or something like that. It was very brief and polite, and had a link to her website. I actually appreciated that a great deal and if I had been inclined to do a pro session I would've contacted her. Didn't hurt that she was drop-dead gorgeous either.

quote:

* These are men demanding fantasy material by pretending to be femdoms.


I've seen a few profiles that are suspicious that way, but I've never received any email like this.

I just want to comment on this remark, too:

quote:

totally down to earth, "girl next door"/no mention of kinks, etc. I found that if I were *seductive*, I would get huge responses


To me, the totally down to earth approach *is* seductive. Man cannot live by kink alone.

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Femdom demeanor: "Kneel at your PC" - 1/31/2006 7:40:59 PM   
Real0ne


Posts: 21189
Joined: 10/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U
#2 You show me more than one Pro Domme making 14,000 a week by themselves and I'll change careers tomorrow.


yeh no kidding i know a homme made close to 30g+ in 1 month. she had a coupe hot clients, of course being an alchoholic binged and p*ssed all away almost as fast lol

sounds fantastic but a tru story!

quote:

ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig

quote:

i got so much bs on here the point i got fed up and removed my profile, pic, everything! but to happen to a guy, i cant imagine how bad it is for you fems.

you all obvioulsy have a incredibly thicker skin and more tenacity than i do!
I think we absolutely have to develop thicker skin and enough tenacity not to allow ourselves dominated by people we consider jerkoffs...
Just like you should not allow the people whom you don't care for or respect to piss you off and send you into hiding. M


well i didnt exactly go into hiding tho, i just ditched the profile and pics and now i do my own hunting :) just that the way this site is set up and the all the problems you all have and everything put together the price i pay in wasted time makes it to expensive to write to much any more. that and i do get quite a few on the messengers so its not like i went underground i just changed my approach back to what i have been doing all these years

(in reply to theRose4U)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Femdom demeanor: "Kneel at your PC" - 1/31/2006 9:22:40 PM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Real0ne


quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U
#2 You show me more than one Pro Domme making 14,000 a week by themselves and I'll change careers tomorrow.


yeh no kidding i know a homme made close to 30g+ in 1 month. she had a coupe hot clients, of course being an alchoholic binged and p*ssed all away almost as fast lol

sounds fantastic but a tru story!



Gee, I wonder why she drank so much? Could it be that living that kind of lifestyle and catering to male sub fantasies night after night after night would drive someone into drugs, alcohol or depression?

That's the point. VERY FEW pro femdoms work long enough hours/days to make a huge living. The burn out rate is so high among pro femdoms that most only do it for a few years or do it sporadically/short hours. Your earlier post with the calculations was totally ignorant. Why not do some research and find out about the real lifestyle for a pro femdom, such as:

* Cost of overhead
* Per cent of flakes/no shows
* Threat of prosecution
* Lack of career longevity or longterm outlook
* Requirement of attending parties, functions, networking in evenings
* Burn out
* Risk of health due to stalkers, wackos and other safety issues

Subs love to calculate the per/hour fee and fantasize about what it must be like to be a woman able to see clients all day long and engage in fantasy play for good money.

Pros earn every dollar they get. They should charge more money for what they do.

Akasha

_____________________________

Akasha's Web - All original Femdom content since 1995
Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to Real0ne)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Femdom demeanor: "Kneel at your PC" - 1/31/2006 9:42:50 PM   
Misstoyou


Posts: 1149
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha


* These are men demanding fantasy material by pretending to be femdoms.



These are probably the same femdoms, with no profile, who contact me out of the blue, wanting to discuss "techniques."

_____________________________

~ Miss Marie

a.k.a. "mean Lady"


(in reply to AAkasha)
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RE: Femdom demeanor: "Kneel at your PC" - 1/31/2006 9:45:53 PM   
cloudboy


Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline
You mean everytime I write to Mistresses online, I don't have to be on my knees? Shit!!! I'm pulling up chair.....ahhhhhhhhhh, boy, that is better. Wow, you've really changed my life!!! Thank you sooooooooooooooooo much!

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Femdom demeanor: "Kneel at your PC" - 1/31/2006 10:00:22 PM   
veronicaofML


Posts: 1317
Joined: 11/19/2005
From: from iowa..now in wisconsin
Status: offline
You mean everytime I write to Mistresses online, I don't have to be on my knees? Shit!!! I'm pulling up chair.....ahhhhhhhhhh, boy, that is better. Wow, you've really changed my life!!! Thank you sooooooooooooooooo much!
==============

cute


not nice

but cute



_____________________________

drugs sex and rock n roll,...drugs are good and so is the rock n roll, sex is over rated"
=============
"go straight to hell, do not pass go and do not collect $200"



(in reply to cloudboy)
Profile   Post #: 20
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