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Dr. Phil - 2/2/2006 2:52:23 PM   
LadyCompassion


Posts: 87
Joined: 11/4/2005
Status: offline 		I was watching Dr. Phil today and the episode was on a man who was interested in Poly fidelity but his wife was not.

Did anyone happen to see this and what are your opinions on Dr. Phil's response to it.
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RE: Dr. Phil - 2/2/2006 3:02:40 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


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Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Twisted Love

I didn't see it, but this is the discussion board going on about it.

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RE: Dr. Phil - 2/3/2006 7:53:23 AM   
pollux


Posts: 657
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

I didn't see it


Me either. Been at the Mini dealer all morning.

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RE: Dr. Phil - 2/5/2006 12:30:32 AM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
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Status: offline
quote:

Did anyone happen to see this and what are your opinions on Dr. Phil's response to it.


I saw it and agree with Dr. Phil. All parties have to consent and want that lifestyle for it to work. The wife wasn't interested in sharing.

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RE: Dr. Phil - 2/22/2006 12:57:32 AM   
Eclecta


Posts: 8
Joined: 3/11/2005
From: Atlanta
Status: offline 		If she isn't interested then it simply will not work. I wish I could have seen the show though. I would love to know what Dr Phil advised. He cracks me up.

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RE: Dr. Phil - 3/5/2006 9:31:06 PM   
Nikolette


Posts: 488
Joined: 10/2/2004
Status: offline 		As someone in a successful poly relationship I would LOVE to know what his opinons were just on the concept of it. I am really interested what the average person might think about it. In anycase, I read here he thought that the wife had to agree to it for it to funtion- and OF COURSE she does!!

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RE: Dr. Phil - 4/7/2006 4:04:08 PM   
lolipop


Posts: 34
Joined: 2/1/2006
Status: offline 		He basically said poly-fidelity was cheating. Which is not necessarily true. In this case, his partner was not consenting for this, so it obviously WAS cheating. What Dr. Phil doesn't realize is that a lot of people practice this (consensually) as a form of BDSM.

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RE: Dr. Phil - 4/7/2006 5:20:44 PM   
denika


Posts: 619
Joined: 8/30/2005
Status: offline 		I'm not sure if I saw that part of the program but I did watch him talking with a poly family (two women, one man) that were all functioning really well, the main issue was that they were teaching their kids some really age inapropriate stuff (like telling their 14 year old daughter to go masturbate when she was stressed, making their 12 walk around naked after making fun of someone and letting all the kids look at and touch their sex toys) that part  bothered me. I am poly friendly (obviously *ss*) and I really, really wish they could interview a 'functioning' poly family to show the world we are not all either religious zealots or "putting-up-with what-our-husbands-want-or-else-he'll-leave-me syndrome"    
I have to give Dr. Phil credit that he did handle the situation better than I thought he would. Both women were also lovers and the three of them seemed genuinly happy but even as liberal minded as I am, that whole leaving their door open so the kids can look if they are curious at what they are doing borders on creepy for me.

Way to go Dr. Phil for at least having them on the program to begin with.  It kind of made me think of the Showcase KINK, they pick and choose the most extravagant lives for television so that people who don't really understand or know much about our lifestyle see that and think we are all like that. The umbrella effect is never good for any group.

denika

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RE: Dr. Phil - 4/9/2006 5:36:53 AM   
summerpls


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Status: offline 		As much as I have agreed with Dr. Phil on some of the issues that he has had on his show .... sometimes he really does pick the wrong guests to represent the issues.  When this happens there are millions of people that watch and think "oh my God, people into BDSM, Poly, Swapping ... (whatever) are really deranged and perverted.  Well we can pick the worst of any group and shine the light on them as if they are the group when ... they are only wannabee's!
Dr. Phil sometimes should really do a lot more research before he takes on issues that he knows nothing about!

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RE: Dr. Phil - 4/18/2006 4:38:36 PM   
IndigoDadesi


Posts: 185
Status: offline 		Quote of the wife from the show: "It would make me question my morals and my ethics and my values, and I'm not doing that."

She says this as if its a bad thing to question them once in a while.

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RE: Dr. Phil - 4/18/2006 4:55:55 PM   
Ariel


Posts: 244
Joined: 7/2/2004
Status: offline 		I saw that show.. in entireity..(sp).. I was somewhat surprised with all of it.. I enjoy Dr.Phil, but that is Me.. if you don't it will not matter anyway, but he had no tolerance for this man at all..NONE.. I mean anyone who watches the show, knows he and Robin, have a great marriage, (or so it would seem), butt then again, they also seem to have EXACTLY the same life goals, which to date, I have never had the priviledge to meet a couple such as they seem to be, not saying that it can not happen, just saying I have not seen that. I was shocked that even knowing how nilla Dr.Phil is, that he was toally against any of it... he had no time for that concept, he the guy on the show) was wrong, if he needed another he needed to leave the marriage. There was no discussion about the needs and wants of each person, or what to do if they were at polar opposites, nor what to do if this actually happened... I mean I understand consenual.. and I am not a poly Mistress...(well not per say).. but he offered no solution to this issue at all, it was do this or do that. I was rather disappointed in the totality of the view.

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RE: Dr. Phil - 4/27/2006 12:35:04 PM   
kirby104


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Status: offline 		Would anyone have a copy of that show.

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RE: Dr. Phil - 6/25/2006 9:48:25 AM   
Veryleggyredhead


Posts: 27
Joined: 2/5/2006
From: Tampa
Status: offline 		summerpls,
                    I agree with you completely. The poly family he interviewed was not a true representation of the greatest majority of poly families. If anything, the family he interviewed was the exception, and not the rule. What disturbed me the most about this was the lack of sexual boundaries exhibited by adults when interacting with minor children.  Those of us within this lifestyle who are safe, sane, and consensual  have a heightened awareness around boundaries and limits. Unfortunately the damage here is done unless some brave soul writes to Dr. Phil and asks him to do a show around a poly relationship that is the norm, and not the exception.
 
leggy

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RE: Dr. Phil - 6/25/2006 9:51:54 AM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline 		Shows like this don't really exist to enlighten but rather to shock and provide their "hosts" with an opportunity to pontificate.  I think the best illustration of this was when Janet Hardy and I were asked to take part in one such show but later dropped because the producer said we "looked too normal."



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RE: Dr. Phil - 6/28/2006 5:45:35 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		I saw the show, and the guy was on an extreme ego trip.  He proclaimed himself a "sexual powerhouse" at age 50, by God, and he reached that pinnacle of manhood with the younger babe.  The wife was "busy raising their four boys and didn't have the energy to satisfy him as the younger one did".  He wanted to enter the poly relationship so HE could have it all.  It wasn't about him satisfying any needs of the two women, it was so he could have it all and not have to give up the marriage (read: lose home and family, pay alimony and child support).

What I may have missed was how the younger woman felt about the whole arrangement he was promoting. 

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RE: Dr. Phil - 8/20/2006 8:07:17 PM   
countryjake13


Posts: 1
Joined: 5/24/2005
Status: offline 		While many of Dr Phil's comments do rate careful concideration. i feel on this occasion he was morally predjiced from the start.
These relationship can work if all parties agree. The example on the show did not have this simple agreement.
BDSM poly relationships are different. While it is nice to say there is a Master and a Mistress and a slave or two, someone must be in charge and it can not work when two choose to be the leader.

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RE: Dr. Phil - 8/20/2006 9:39:48 PM   
Slipstreme


Posts: 817
Joined: 1/1/2006
Status: offline 		I remember seeing part of that episode and thinking "Geez, my family isn't even remotely close to that" It is sad when there are no representatives from working relationships on the set to counterbalance the failures.

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RE: Dr. Phil - 8/21/2006 7:34:05 AM   
MzTlaz


Posts: 140
Joined: 8/8/2006
Status: offline 		Yes, Windchymes, I got exactly tthe same thing from that show as you did....this was a guy just trying to validate his cheating, it was not consentual at all.

I like Dr Phil, he gives good advice for a nilla guy ;)   He also uses a line a lot that I think is very relevant particularly on the web...
  "People with nothing to hide, hide nothing"

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RE: Dr. Phil - 8/22/2006 5:36:40 AM   
masterhyyde


Posts: 57
Joined: 8/16/2006
From: Manhattan
Status: offline 		sounds to me like he has little/no knowledge of how to function in a vanilla relationship/let alone a bdsm one.  I believe this dude is using this as an excuse to have his cake and eat it too.  Seems to me he just really wants permission to cheat.  And he looked to this lifestyle for that.

btw, Dr. Phil drives me crazy.  (just my opinion)


quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes

I saw the show, and the guy was on an extreme ego trip.  He proclaimed himself a "sexual powerhouse" at age 50, by God, and he reached that pinnacle of manhood with the younger babe.  The wife was "busy raising their four boys and didn't have the energy to satisfy him as the younger one did".  He wanted to enter the poly relationship so HE could have it all.  It wasn't about him satisfying any needs of the two women, it was so he could have it all and not have to give up the marriage (read: lose home and family, pay alimony and child support).

What I may have missed was how the younger woman felt about the whole arrangement he was promoting. 

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RE: Dr. Phil - 8/30/2006 12:39:17 PM   
LeatherRose


Posts: 62
Joined: 6/28/2005
Status: offline 		This is not the first time that Dr. Phil has interviewed people about poly people, swinging, etc.  And every time he clearly let's the audience know how he feels about any deviation from the normal (boring) relationship of a man and a woman.  Over and over he bashes them.
 
One episode he had a poly family and they lived in harmony, he bashed them.  Also had swingers on.  Then to try and back him up he had a sex therapist on, one that is, who had actually done research (Note: Dr. Phil never has done any).  Her research actually showed positives no negatives and Dr. Phil totally blew her off.  Even when her statistics were announced he would not acknowledge them.  I knew then that he was just doing this for the ratings and to try and conform people to his way of thinking.  I used to be a big fan until I noticed his trend and it really PISSED me off.  He is just one man, unfortunately with a degree, and tons of people follow whatever comes out of his mouth.
 
On a similar note and not to detract from the o.p., for his profession as a psychologist, he is very mainstream.  It is extremely hard to find anyone in that field that will acknowledge BDSM, poly issues, etc. (unless that person themself is already into the lifestyle), let alone say that it can and/or does work.
 
LeatherRose
 

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