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RE: "Good boy" in vanilla settings - 5/1/2009 2:13:25 AM

LadySweetOrSour

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I usually say something along the lines of "well thank you, aren't you just a sweety?", when a strange man does something nice for me. I really do appreciate a man doing something for me, a person he has no reason to do anything for, never mind something lovely, unexpected and unasked for. I also appreciate, and show my appreciation, to a woman who has done something for me, as I have been shown appreciation for the many spontaneous kindnesses I have done for others.

Maybe its the painkilllers I'm on, but I don't think its anything to do with domination, submission or anything else. I just believe that people are inherently good, and that they will do a kindness for someone if they can, and they think of it.

(in reply to PeonForHer)

RE: "Good boy" in vanilla settings - 5/1/2009 3:16:37 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SnowRanger

Speaking of noxious treaclisms... I recently asked a waitress to quit calling me 'honey.' Understand, she wasn't the maternal type that can pull it off. Rather, she was younger (than me) and attractive. I didn't want to offend her, so I made a joke about her giving me delusions of grandure apropos of my desirablity.

Most of those sorts of address, in most (though definitely not all) situations, just make me smile. But bear in mind that I live in a city where older people regularly call younger people 'my lover'. I've got used to the strangest terms of address since I moved here from London.

I suspect "boy" is going to feel different depending on the English-speaking country, and even the part of that country, that one is in. In parts of Wales "boy" is regularly used between adults. I'd guess that it would jangle less in the northern US states (like Kal's Michigan) than those in the south.

Re that: Yep, I wanted to tippy-toe around the race issue too. Here in southern England and just next to Wales, 'good boy' might raise a frosty eyebrow from a domina 'testing out' a man for his subbiness. So, a risky ploy but probably not majorly so. On the other hand - from a white woman to a black man in South Africa: no. 'Inadvisable' would be something of an understatement, I'd think.

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RE: "Good boy" in vanilla settings - 5/1/2009 3:19:54 AM

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quote:

PeonForHer wrote: But bear in mind that I live in a city where older people regularly call younger people 'my lover'.

Bear in mind also that what Peon writes as `my lover' is actually pronounced, `moy luvvurrrrr'.

beeble.

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RE: "Good boy" in vanilla settings - 5/1/2009 3:33:43 AM

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Another common term of address is "You" - as in "Alroight then, You?" In most places that'd sound quite rude. If, indeed, the accent could be understood at all.

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RE: "Good boy" in vanilla settings - 5/1/2009 6:29:13 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SnowRanger
Speaking of noxious treaclisms... I recently asked a waitress to quit calling me 'honey.' Understand, she wasn't the maternal type that can pull it off. Rather, she was younger (than me) and attractive. I didn't want to offend her, so I made a joke about her giving me delusions of grandure apropos of my desirablity.

You just reminded me of a dinner I was having with a very smart submissive, who had the good sense to disappear to the bathroom and warn our waitress that our conversation was going to turn ugly if she insisted on calling me "honey".
I ordered dinner for him while she looked at me funny, and there might have been a little phucking with her, because of her clearly held traditional/stereotypical expectations. M

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RE: "Good boy" in vanilla settings - 5/1/2009 7:25:45 AM

SomethingCatchy

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I've pulled a 'Tell your wife thanks, she's trained you well!' on a man who was very helpful and wearing a wedding ring. It resulted in a blush and smile. I've also pulled the ole 'good boy' bit with male friends who've gone out of their way to help me. It's never backfired on me.
That being said, I wish I had men lining up to carry my groceries out. Maybe I should start shopping at the smaller stores in hopes of wrangling a young man that will ask me 'Paper or plastic?'

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RE: "Good boy" in vanilla settings - 5/1/2009 7:52:53 AM

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I don't think I'd "good boy" a total stranger upon a first public encounter unless I felt a VERY strong undercurrent of submissiveness. Now, if this were someone I interacted with regularly, say at the supermarket, and I felt he was open to the idea, I would have no problem with throwing out the occasional "good boy" just to see his reaction. Of course, this also presupposes that I find the boy attractive, and that I would flirt with him in the first place. But that's just me. I'd call him sweetie, honey or cutie, too. If another domina feels uncomfortable about doing so, then she shouldn't do it. At my age, I'm past fretting about these things.

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RE: "Good boy" in vanilla settings - 5/1/2009 11:17:07 AM

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quote:

SomethingCatchy wrote: I've also pulled the ole 'good boy' bit with male friends who've gone out of their way to help me. It's never backfired on me.

That's because they're your friends, you know them and, I assume, you wouldn't have done it if you thought it likely to backfire. Coming from a stranger, it would be a whole different thing.

beeble.

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RE: "Good boy" in vanilla settings - 5/1/2009 1:14:14 PM

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Rarely does that happen to me, I think I keep that side of myself hidden in public. Did leave a leather shop grand opening once in Orlando, went to a steak&all-the-salad-you-can-eat place & must have still been channeling inner-Domme. I'd taken off my leather vest with all the pins & was just wearing jeans & black tshirt. A Management Trainer overheard me gripe that there were no more fresh cookies & he went into the back & came to our table FIRST with a pan of hot cookies. He knelt close so I didn't have to crane my neck up at him & I did whisper "good boy" to him. Damn shame he was only in the city to train, then would head back to wherever he was from. I hope he went out & started looking after that; because his reaction was GREAT! Head snapped up, eyes met mine, then his eyes dropped. Oooooh, gives me shivers when a boy lowers his gaze like that.
Maybe I need to keep my eyes open more frequently out in the vanilla world; sounds like I'm missing people who can be right under our noses.

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RE: "Good boy" in vanilla settings - 5/1/2009 4:49:03 PM

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Well, all I can say is that I hope one day a domina will take that risk and say the same to me. If she were to do that, I'd find the earliest opportunity I could to ask her, 'Is there anything else I can do for you, Ma'am'?

< Message edited by PeonForHer -- 5/1/2009 4:55:43 PM >

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RE: "Good boy" in vanilla settings - 5/1/2009 8:05:08 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: EvilKitty

Rarely does that happen to me, I think I keep that side of myself hidden in public. Did leave a leather shop grand opening once in Orlando, went to a steak&all-the-salad-you-can-eat place & must have still been channeling inner-Domme. I'd taken off my leather vest with all the pins & was just wearing jeans & black tshirt. A Management Trainer overheard me gripe that there were no more fresh cookies & he went into the back & came to our table FIRST with a pan of hot cookies. He knelt close so I didn't have to crane my neck up at him & I did whisper "good boy" to him. Damn shame he was only in the city to train, then would head back to wherever he was from. I hope he went out & started looking after that; because his reaction was GREAT! Head snapped up, eyes met mine, then his eyes dropped. Oooooh, gives me shivers when a boy lowers his gaze like that.
Maybe I need to keep my eyes open more frequently out in the vanilla world; sounds like I'm missing people who can be right under our noses.

Wow, that story is almost enough to get me to work at the Olive Garden. Almost.

I think about the amount of people we miss in our travels a lot. Not just seeing a 'bossy' woman and thinking she may be dominant, but just about the fact that obviously very few of us advertise our kinks so it's fun to think about the little wrinkles you see that may signal they are kinky or things along those lines.

A friend of mine bought me a subscription to a vanilla online dating service, she was concerned because I haven't found the right person yet. I scoffed at the notion at first because I don't need help meeting people, just the right people. After thinking about it, I tried it for a bit, thinking that I could meet the same girl I'd meet in a bar, but one who's more open to meeting someone there than doing so at a bar or whatever. Most of my single female friends are so defensive and cynical about meeting someone in the bars that it would be impossible for the avg guy to pick them up, no matter how nice they were in attempting it.

Of course everyone I spoke to on that site was nuts, but whatever. I think it's important to never limit your options to meet people.

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RE: "Good boy" in vanilla settings - 5/1/2009 11:14:25 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

'Is there anything else I can do for you, Ma'am'?

Yes. Don't call me "Ma'am."

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RE: "Good boy" in vanilla settings - 5/1/2009 11:26:26 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: EvilKitty

Oooooh, gives me shivers when a boy lowers his gaze like that.

Hee hee. A vanilla friend of mine once managed to get that reaction out of me when we were having a silly argument about a movie. I finally just threw up my hands and went for the goofy ending: "You're just wrong, and that's all there is to it!" And he misunderstood my intention and gave me that very Kentucky, slightly nettled but surrendering "Yes Ma'am."

Sexy and also hilarious.

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RE: "Good boy" in vanilla settings - 5/2/2009 12:34:22 AM

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quote:

Yes. Don't call me "Ma'am."

Bad enough for you, Venatrix; but it always takes a good 30 seconds before I even realize that said person is referring to me, lmao.

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RE: "Good boy" in vanilla settings - 5/2/2009 5:26:18 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

'Is there anything else I can do for you, Ma'am'?

Yes. Don't call me "Ma'am."

Oh, don't worry, V. I can distinguish between a "Miss" and a "Ma'am" any day.

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RE: "Good boy" in vanilla settings - 5/2/2009 8:54:08 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer
If she were to do that, I'd find the earliest opportunity I could to ask her, 'Is there anything else I can do for you, Ma'am'?

Guys and women both say that to me all the time in stores and restaurants. It's polite-speak for "Hey, whats-yer-face, want anything else before I move on to the next customer?" Heck, I said that myself (or Sir, for a man) back when I worked retail. I usually tried to phrase it a bit differently so that it didn't sound too rote, but it's basic customer service, not anything D/s related.

< Message edited by Andalusite -- 5/2/2009 8:57:17 AM >

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RE: "Good boy" in vanilla settings - 5/2/2009 9:45:18 AM

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If the woman is truly interested, this *might* be a good ice breaker. I might respond by asking her to coffee, lunch or something like that. But the good boy alone wouldn't exactly turbocharge my day. I get enough enjoyment out of being polite, holding doors, etc without a need for "thank you" or any other verbal feedback. Most times a smile or a nod does just fine.

(in reply to Andalusite)

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