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ThatDamnedPanda -> RE: Tell me who you are... (5/7/2009 9:18:46 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Venatrix
I think the disparity in numbers between femdoms and malesubs works against those who are uncomfortable talking about themselves without encouragement. Given the vast quantity of email that femdoms get, much of it completely useless, when I'm ready to start looking for someone again I shall have to be even more ruthless than I am now, in order to cut through the worthless emails to get to that someone special.
And you know what? I think you just put your finger on a big part of the problem. More and more over the years, I've become acutely aware of what maddeningly dysfunctional dweebs the vast majority of other guys are on the internetz, and as self-defeating as it may be, my reaction has been to just try to separate myself from the medium as much as possible. That behavior is so revolting to me, I don't want to feel associated with it in any way, to the point where I find myself withdrawing more and more from the internet itself just because I feel so fucking unclean swimming in that poisoned pool. It's just not worth the effort it takes to draw a distinction between myself and those other characters.
It's like living in a town where there's only one singles bar, and every time i go there hoping to meet a really nice, interesting, intelligent woman to just have a nice conversation with, there are 500 other guys in the place who've never heard of this amazing new invention called deodorant, wearing clothes that haven't been washed sinced the day they fished them out of the bin at the Goodwill, puking in the trash cans, swinging from the light fixtures by their prehensile tails, scratching their armpits, and making chimpanzee noises at every woman that walks past. I don't even want to try to strike up a conversation with one of the women who are sitting there, aghast and appalled and wondering why they couldn't have had the good fortune to have been born lesbians - I just want to go home, throw away the clothes I'm wearing, and take a shower with Lysol. That's pretty much the way I view the internet. I'm so disgusted with it, I find it increasingly difficult to even find a glimmer of interest in trying to form any relationships on it, beyond posting in the forums. And I think that definitely dilutes my motivation to make any meaningful effort to write an interesting e-mail to anyone.
quote:
ORIGINAL: Venatrix
That means that an email is going to have to pique my interest enough both to view the gentleman's profile and to respond to him. Incidentally, a good email doesn't necessarily have to be directly about the writer. It can be about something I've written in my profile or journal which will obliquely reveal something about him.
And actually, that's typically the way I usually do begin any correspondence, whether it's with someone I'm interested in as a potential partner or someone I just like and respect and want to chat with. I'll usually talk about something they wrote, and why it means something to me. In the process of telling them what it meant to me, I know I'm also telling them a lot about who I am. That's not the reason I write that way, but of course I'm aware that it has that secondary effect. It's just the way I usually strike up conversations in face-to-face life, and it feels the most natural to me. If they find something I say interesting, they'll usually write back, talking about whatever it is I said, and then I'll write back, and they'll write back, and I'll write back, and next thing you know we know quite a lot about one another. Pretty much the way humans get to know each other in real life. The more things change, the more things stay the same, eh?
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