RE: Why is it so hard to find my Master?

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RE: Why is it so hard to find my Master? - 5/10/2009 10:07:29 AM

NewJerzeySubGirl

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Just was looking for a little advise. Thank you to those who gave it to me in a postive light.

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RE: Why is it so hard to find my Master? - 5/10/2009 10:08:52 AM

NewJerzeySubGirl

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advice :)

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RE: Why is it so hard to find my Master? - 5/10/2009 10:49:03 AM

IrishMist

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Hmm, you are not going to like what I am going to say.

Reading your post here, and reading your profile; all I see are a lot of I WANT'S.

How about rethinking and instead taking the perspective of I need and I offer.

Another thing; slow down a bit. Most Dominants, while they don't mind ( and even like ) submissives contacting them; in the end, they really do like to do the pursuing. They want to get to know someone, take their time, make sure things are 'right' before they take on the responsiblity of another.

I could say more but, DarkSteven pretty much said the rest pretty well. It's good advice he gave.

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RE: Why is it so hard to find my Master? - 5/10/2009 11:30:11 AM

NewJerzeySubGirl

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Why would i not like what you had to say? i appreciate the honesty. im well aware im confused. i was trained to be so proper at one point, a very good submissive. i lost that way about myself getting into my previous relationship/marriage. Being married to a very jealous, insecure person who would argue and fight with me all the time. i became a very self centered person, quick with my tounge. i guess when i speak about my wants and being picky, i want to make sure i find the right person for me. i have alot to work on, but i appreciate the comments. Thank you.

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RE: Why is it so hard to find my Master? - 5/10/2009 12:42:51 PM

IrishMist

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quote:

im well aware im confused

And this, right here, is why you should NOT be trying to start another relationship at this time.

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RE: Why is it so hard to find my Master? - 5/10/2009 12:52:59 PM

RavenMuse

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quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

quote:

im well aware im confused

And this, right here, is why you should NOT be trying to start another relationship at this time.

That depends exactly on what the confusion is about. Some (Especialy of slave mentality) will experience a feeling of confusion because of the lack of structure (Something they look for in a Master, that stability and control). It doesn't mean she is automaticaly confused about what she needs and is suited to (though it might impair her methods of going about finding it).

If she is confused about what she wants/needs then I would agree, she would need to clarify that in herself before looking for something new.

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RE: Why is it so hard to find my Master? - 5/10/2009 1:19:41 PM

NewJerzeySubGirl

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No i am not confused of what i want. You are exactly right Raven. The confusion comes from lack of structure in my life. i miss having that in my life. And trust me, i am not trying to jump into any kind of relationship at a quick pace. i have lived the Master/sub life before, i just would like to be in it again but i will wait till the right one finds me or visa versa. i kind of feel lost without it - like a lost puppy.

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RE: Why is it so hard to find my Master? - 5/10/2009 2:18:38 PM

DarkSteven

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Hey everyone! Her new and vastly improved profile is up!

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The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: Why is it so hard to find my Master? - 5/10/2009 2:18:47 PM

azropedntied

Posts: 1829
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From: Phx AZ
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jerzeygirl . best advise I could give you expand your search less online and more real life community .There are many sites ,much valued information , even reading that can be done , yet getting out in your local community is the best bang for the buck .Your area is rich in conferences,events, parties , munches, gathering , classes etc .Volunteer make yourself known and available and you shall be found and find your Dominant .
Best wishes ..

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RE: Why is it so hard to find my Master? - 5/10/2009 2:39:48 PM

darklight17

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The new profile is nice. Anytime someone says something "completes them", I get a little Jerry Maguire nostalgia, but other than that, it's very friendly. Good luck.

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RE: Why is it so hard to find my Master? - 5/10/2009 5:50:29 PM

NewJerzeySubGirl

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im taking bits and pieces of everyone's advice :) Thank You :)

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RE: Why is it so hard to find my Master? - 5/10/2009 6:00:11 PM

tiinkerbell

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My first relationship was D/s based; it ended almost two years ago. Since then, I spent my time re-centering myself and re-evaluating what exactly I wanted, what I needed, and what I was willing to compromise on. When I joined CM, I had a 'flowing kind of base' that pretty much covered everything that I had spent time thinking about.

One thing I have learned though is that the slower you go, the better your chances of finding a long term relationship; if that is what you are seeking.

You sound as if you know what you need and want; maybe now, the trick is to slow down? Take things slowly, one day at a time and don't rush into anything. Make sure that when you connect with someone; it's what you both are seeking.

Relationships take time to build. The stronger the foundation; the better the results will be.

I wish you the best

Allison

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RE: Why is it so hard to find my Master? - 5/10/2009 6:43:00 PM

NewJerzeySubGirl

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Thank you Allison,
You are beautiful by the way :)

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RE: Why is it so hard to find my Master? - 5/10/2009 6:57:34 PM

KneelforAnne

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I like it. It's short and sweet.

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RE: Why is it so hard to find my Master? - 5/10/2009 8:39:13 PM

KneelforAnne

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quote:

ORIGINAL: KneelforAnne

I like it. It's short and sweet.

Hmmm... IT being the profile re-write. Sorry, I should have been more clear.

:)

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RE: Why is it so hard to find my Master? - 5/11/2009 7:22:01 AM

HalloweenWhite

Posts: 1028
Joined: 6/20/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: NewJerzeySubGirl

Hello everyone!
i know what i want. i know what i seek. But for some reason i cannot find what i am looking for. i am seeking an attractive Dom Male, who will control my mind but at the same time, i love the physical apsect of being dominated! I recently experienced being completely bound, tied up, ball gaged, and used! i loved every minute of it! For some reason it is so hard to find the attraction and the sexual and mental aspect of it all :(
I was married for a whopping 6 months! I can't ever go back to that Vanilla Lifestyle, even though I tried so hard. Its just NOT me!
I need to find my match, My Master! WITH the attraction!! HELP!

Well, think about it for a second, there are litrally billions of people on planet earth and while there may be 100,000's where you live, how many have you actually met? How many of them are into D/s, how many are men, how many are straight.

Keep narrowing it down and Ill bet you see a patern-you just don't know where this Dom is because He could be -anyone- -anywhere-, I'm not trying to sound sarcastic btw but you have to understand you're looking for a needle in a haystack.

How active are you in your local scene? and I don't mean play every so often, I mean do you go to munches? or fetish fairs/demo's etc. in other words are you seen by O/others in D/s and do you know people?.

Get yourself out there, get known and meet people in the lifestyle whereever and whenever you can and don't expect this shiny god like figure to suddenly appear. He won't. But.......when you're out and about living your life He may see you, if you keep going, He may see you again, and again and then He'll remember you and then who knows, He may talk to you.

If you looked at My profile you'd notice I'm pretty specific too, mayne ambitious too lol, but I know what I want and I'll be damned if I'm gonna give up without a fight!, so I'm out there as and when I can, doing what I can, and maybe.....just maybe....I'll find her, but even if I don't I'll have had fun anyway and met some other people having the same fun as Me :).

Happy hunting :).

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RE: Why is it so hard to find my Master? - 5/12/2009 12:36:27 PM

daddysliloneds

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the forum question makes it sound like you are looking for a master; your profile looks like you're looking for occassional beat and fuck sessions...

so, while you may say you know what you want, you're sending mixed signals.

other than that, i'd suggest you just advertise for a beat and fuck partner who is good looking and that you can actually stand talking to afterwards! worked for me!

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RE: Why is it so hard to find my Master? - 5/12/2009 1:44:47 PM

LadyConstanze

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quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysliloneds

the forum question makes it sound like you are looking for a master; your profile looks like you're looking for occassional beat and fuck sessions...

so, while you may say you know what you want, you're sending mixed signals.

other than that, i'd suggest you just advertise for a beat and fuck partner who is good looking and that you can actually stand talking to afterwards! worked for me!

Are you sure you read the profile of the OP? Because I read that and I really don't get this message or mixed signals at all!

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RE: Why is it so hard to find my Master? - 5/12/2009 4:16:44 PM

RedMagic1

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Hi NewJerzeySubGirl,

I've never viewed your profile -- ever-- and I'm commenting solely based on your posts in this thread.

The fact that you had a three-year relationship with someone whose mind I respect is a plus for me, and it's an extra plus that you haven't talked about where Amayos has "gone" -- not that it's a secret, but it has nothing to do with this thread. That strikes me as someone capable of loyalty and discretion. Also, I must admit that the fact that your "D/s pedigree" relates you directly to Internet celebrities gets me kinda hott.

However, I'm concerned about the way you talk about your marriage. That situation sounds very raw, and the way you phrase it sounds blameful of him, without owning any mistakes you might have made. I would be concerned about being a rebound guy. So you might want to consider how you view yourself in relation to that.

Good luck.

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RE: Why is it so hard to find my Master? - 5/12/2009 7:49:05 PM

antipode

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Joined: 4/19/2004
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quote:

i have lived the Master/sub life before, i just would like to be in it again but i will wait till the right one finds me or visa versa

Considering you "tried" vanilla, after your M/s life, are you perhaps trying to get back to where you were before? It could be the sole frame of reference you have, a place you wish you hadn't left.

If any of that strikes a chord, you're looking back more than moving forward, not using your assets in the here-and-now. I do this all the time, once living in Manhattan I wanted to go back to London, once living in D.C. I wanted to go back to Manhattan, it is, I think, the rose coloured glasses syndrome.

I am not sure it is what is or isn't in your profile, but you do mention the past and the disappointment, without a mention of your path, of who you want to be, when you look a year down your road. And try not to mold your future partner in crime on your previous one, because if you do that you miss most of the rest of humanity, it is never good to regress forward. Make it a discovery trip....

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