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ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

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ORIGINAL: KMsAngel
michael, i would get pissed at you too for wanting the size 6 if you weren't all lean and spiffy too. and then i'd cry 'cause i'm not size 6 and not in CA anymore

Angel, I actually don't tend to like women as skinny as size 6 and I have come to really like latex and PVC dresses and to me they look better on a woman with serious curves and thin women just don't like right to me. One of the hottest women I have ever been with was a 14-16 but she was a bellydancer and moved with a grace that made everyone look when she entered the room. We all know I like hot women, but for me, body comes a distant third after a beautiful face, a great personality, and only then their body.

However imperfect a woman is, if she is my partner she really becomes the most beautiful woman in the world to me. I met some of the women I had been around with a previous partner, all of whom I thought were less attractive and after some adjustment I realized in a few cases there were actually quite beautiful in their own right but I just didn't even notice at the time.

Angel, if you ever get to CA I promise I will offer you one night of depraved debauchery but that one night that will spoil you forever so choose wisely!

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In my humble opinion, I don't think that kinksters are necessarily more tolerant of body size. ....but I do think kinky people are more interested in wider ranges of body types. People have fetishes for less mainstream body types, and so demand them. ....I think.

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ORIGINAL: MstrTiger


I think you are all grossly over sensitive, you are not afflicted, you are not a separate group, you do not in need special treatment and you do not need to reclaim anything, overweight people just need to eat less and exercise more. You are not in the same boat as ethnic minorities or disabled people or anyone else of that nature and to even use language that suggests you just seams totally ridiculous to me. If stating the truth of a situation makes me an insensitive asshole then I am happy to be one, I am not the one attempting to hide from reality which personally I think is far worse.

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ORIGINAL: JaDaMaGi

Heh heh.  cool.  Ya, I wouldn't blanket state that being slim is attractive either.  Actually, I'm not into skinny girls.  I am often misunderstood in that regard.  When I say lean, I mean it very differently than skinny.  There may be a better word I haven't thought of.  i do a lot of things outside.  Climbing, hiking, running, etc.  I guess what it really comes down to is a high strength to weight proportion.  That just sounds too technical and silly, though.  I like someone who is physically strong, and able to do a lot of physical activity.

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ORIGINAL: JaDaMaGi

Oh good. Glad I'm not offending so much now.  :-P

...and a previous post did remind me that although I have preference in body type, it is only part of the equation.  I can be very attracted to a woman when she exhibits some mental/emotional superness (yep, superness is a word, now shush).

It makes me think that maybe kinky individuals are more tolerant of body shape because they often have a stronger mental connection that overrides physical considerations to a degree.

I guess the whole attractive not attractive thing is tough to explain.  I've seen women that wouldn't fit my genarel description of what I'm into, but made me trip on my own feet anyway.

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ORIGINAL: CarrieO

Calla (forgive me if that's too informal)...

Would you be able to post a link for these articles or send me a PM to point m in the right direction? This appears to be somewhat similar to what I have been dealing with and would love another resource. Systemic inflammation is a new phrase for me but it looks like I'll need to become more informed...especially since it was one of many that was thrown my way when visiting a rheumatologist.
Thank you.

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ORIGINAL: Mezrem

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ORIGINAL: MstrTiger


I guess it is a cultural difference, people in the UK do not need to claim their fatness, do you have to go on a course or something to be able to do that?

Nice... I guess you told her.. huh well no wait you just proved her point in a way. Upset perhaps that you stuck your foot in your mouth and got called on it? But by all means don't adress her question or statement in total. Pick a part that you can make a rather lame joke about.. because well it made you seem so very cool.

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I find it shocking that people can be so self deluded.

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ORIGINAL: Andalusite
I'm a size 5/6 petite, so they presumably wouldn't call *me* fat, but I don't want someone who is that mean, whether about fat or about ethnicity or even politics.

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SimplyMichael
Being fat is kind of like being an asshole. The theory on how to be thin/nice is well understood, however for some of us putting that into practice isn't the easiest of things.

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ORIGINAL: breatheasone

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I find it shocking that people can be so self deluded.

Indeed, would you care for a mirror there kiddo?

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ORIGINAL: Daddyluvsitrough

I don't see much difference between someone who chooses to stick a needle in their arm to poison their body vs. someone eats poorly and doesn't exercise - both are doing harm to the body.  A junkie is a junkie, a drunk is a drunk, and obese people are fat - put on your big girl panties and deal with it.  Obesity is a national epidemic in America that continues to snowball yet you're asking the problem to be swept under the rug because of your own personal feelings of your own body image.  I haven't attacked anyone personally here yet now I'm being called a fascist & bigot for pointing out that obesity is a problem, a health risk, and doesn't deserve to be swept under the rug just so you can sleep better at night.  It's pretty transparent that you feel the need to lash out at me personally because you are not happy with yourself. 

To those who are obviously grossly oversensitive to their own issues ... throwing around terms like fascism and bigotry ... are there mobs in the streets with pitchforks and rope coming in the middle of the night to lynch all the obese people?   You think it's a quantum leap to compare a heroin addict/alcoholic with someone who's obese, yet you have no problem equating obesity with racism.  The difference is one is a choice, one is not. 

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ORIGINAL: MstrTiger


I genuinely am interested in finding out how one claims their fatness and ask the question would it not be a lot easier and more proactive to just eat less instead? I don’t think anyone comes to the boards on collarme to try and be cool, do they? I am also perfectly aware that my viewpoint might be a bit inflammatory though I stand by it.
 
I can't and wont attempt to read the mind of the one who made the comment you are speaking of. I will offer you my point of view on it though. Owning it for me means I am able to walk with my head held high. I am happy with who I am and refuse to be sent to the back of the bus or made to feel ashamed. I have been down that dark road and yes it's a cycle. Yes I'm large, fat, obiese heavy how ever you want to shove me into. I for one though see me as me. IF I change it will be to please me.. beause I want to take the steps.


I do not have an issue with people who are overweight and genuinely accept themselves, I actually quite admire that. I have a friend who is a uk size 22 and she really could not careless, she likes chocolate she admits it and she is happy. I just have a total hatred of bullshit and this thread has been liberally spread with it almost from the start.

I simply do not understand why people need to surround themselves with such utter crap to try and justify the way they are, particularly when it is over something they do not like about themselves. I can’t believe than anyone genuinely things the primary reason as to why someone would not date a fat person is simply because of social stigma and not because they do not find fat people attractive, that just seams to go beyond common sense.

Again I will not attempt to speak for anyone but myself. My reasons for why I am as I am are my own. I don't need anyone to validate them or excuse them. I'm not going to bitch or wine because some one will not want to play with me because of my size. Just as I don't want a person to bitch at me because I won't play with them for some other reasons. What I take exception too are the attacks made by some in this thread. Being compaired to a house for instance. It's just not helpful to any kind of dialog.


I am also confused when fat people try to make themselves out to be victims, is their fridge abusing them or something? I keep forgetting that talking about people being fat is not politically correct anymore from now on I will refer to all overweight people as ‘victims of food’ that appears to be the way many of them are acting.

I honestly think if people spent less time wallowing in bouts of self pity trying to ‘own their fatness’ and more time taking light exercise their problem would be more likely to diminish, why cant people just be honest with themselves, I find it shocking that people can be so self deluded.

In order for a person to get better they have to come to terms with what ever they are fighting. Be that problem drugs, food or what ever. You offer it up as wallowing in bouts of self pity.. I see it for my part of coming to terms with what I am. Being isolated by people, being judged so harshly is of no real help in this process. I am at this moment tinner then I have ever been in my life.. I am so because I did not listen to people speaking as you and some others have in your posts. All fat people do not all wallow in self pity. We see in the mirror every day that we are the way we are.. it is only when we deside to take the steps will that change. You can't make that choice to make some one else happy.. you can't do it to please your parents or any other loved one... you have to do it for youself.
 
I'm starting to ramble now so I'm going to stop typing in a moment. I would like to offer one last comment though. It's fine if you don't understand.. I don't expect you too. It's fine that you would make the choice to not play with a fat person. Just remember though that you are talking to a real person and a little compassion may be the first step for one person to start onto the road to a healther life.. both mental health and physical.
 
Blessed Be

(in reply to MstrTiger)

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ORIGINAL: FullfigRIMAAM1

Aren't you deluded about the importance and absolutism of your opinion?
People are dissatisfied for many reasons, and they usually choose one thing to pin it on.   Not being fat however, I wonder where your disdain comes from.  

I don't like victims either, but it isn't for me to slap them around, and tell them to stop if that is how they cope with life.   It's okay to be hurtful to someone who enjoys it, but when you're just being hurtful because that is what feeds your little ego, I have to wonder what your problem is.    M