HollywoodExecDom -> RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (5/14/2009 4:03:21 PM)
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I'm going to disagree and say "Slightly Yes." (And I am not going to be PC in this explanation) It seems as though there are a disproportionate number of Obese Women in the public BDSM scene. I think that Dominant men are generally more willing to lower their standards for a submissive women who weighs more than they otherwise would pursue because: 1) Supply versus Demand 2) The "turn on" factor from BDSM exceeds the disgust factor from mild to moderate obesity. 3) I have observed tendencies by some BDSM men to fetishize weight in the context of BDSM, where they otherwise wouldn't find it attractive. The other factor at work specifically with the high number of BDSM obese women is: 4) Women with "model builds" but who have the degredation or humiliation fetishes, tend to find fulfilment through either group sex scenarios or higly promiscuous "cruising" behavior (aka modeling the role of a "slut") - hence they don't need to explore the avenue of BDSM - although it would probably be safer for them to do so than random sex. Frankly, this avenue is less open to obese women and if attempted, is generally met with disappointment and derision before fulfillment of the obese women's fetishistic sexual desires. On the flip side, I do find that the Dominant personalities of Male Doms means that if the do dislike obese women, they are generally more vocal about it. Additionally, in some cases, I find that other's obesity actually insults Doms with highly particular natures (The type who are extremely OCD / minutiae driven with their play.) As for the merits of "accepting" obesity... I have empathy for women and the negative misinformation about body that are put out there. I do NOT have empathy, however, for those who are CONTENT with being even moderately overweight or aren't in the process of doing anything about it. Its one thing to accept obese persons, its one thing to say that obese individuals can't exudes beauty, but its wrong to accept obesity itself as beautiful. Its a deadly disease. Much the way we regard tumors, the growth of physically limiting and life shortening fat cells should never be accepted as a positive. No one should be content with being obese, as anything beyond the most moderate obesity is by and large the product of correctable and curable lifestyle decisions - which sadly often occur because of horrible misinformation about nutrition and exercise in America. If you're obese, and you're going to complain about ANY of these judgements, ask yourself this (or better yet include in your response): 1) How much soda do you drink a week? What are your total liquid calories in an average day (including beer)? 2) How often do you visit "fast food"? 3) How often do you "treat yourself" to dessert or sweets of any sort? 4) How many hours a week do you spend doing exercise, particularly cardio intensive excersize - including just walking? I won't even include questions of "calorie" counting of food and / or portion control, as these factors above all tend to indicate who's obese. (versus say 10 - 20 lbs over ideal)
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