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where is everybody - 5/25/2009 3:35:40 PM   
FromLondon


Posts: 1
Joined: 11/5/2008
Status: offline 		I been on this site for sometimes and I have yet to meet anyone.

whats going on.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: where is everybody - 5/25/2009 3:38:38 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		So why haven't you met anyone?

Set up a coffee date and get out and meet people.

If you're not meeting people then you're not trying.

(in reply to FromLondon)
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RE: where is everybody - 5/25/2009 3:40:23 PM   
PyrotheClown


Posts: 1950
Joined: 5/18/2009
Status: offline 		I've been here less then a month, and I'm already pretty close to meeting a few people....and I live in the middle of no where..........

(in reply to littlewonder)
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RE: where is everybody - 5/25/2009 3:40:55 PM   
stella41b


Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

If you're not meeting people then you're not trying.



Are you so sure of this?


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(in reply to littlewonder)
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RE: where is everybody - 5/25/2009 3:45:52 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		Absolutely.

It's not hard to email someone on here, get to know them and say "hey it would be nice to meet you. Why don't we have a cup of coffee together and see what becomes of it?".

I don't have to be interested in someone for anything more than a free cup of coffee to meet someone.


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RE: where is everybody - 5/25/2009 3:46:31 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Clarification:  from OP's journal:

"I met a few subs on-line but its all alot of talk from what i can see. chatting online is fine but you cant really learn anything about someone if its behind a screen.

Lets at least meet for a drink/dinner and see where it goes...."

So OP HAS met people here, but it has not progressed to face to face as yet.

OP, you've been on for six months.  If you've only met a "few", I suspect that you've been contacted by others and haven't gone through the effort to initiate contact.  In other words, you've only met the scammers and spammers.

Go to the effort to review others' profiles.  Contact those who sound good to you and see what happens.


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RE: where is everybody - 5/25/2009 3:55:43 PM   
Fitznicely


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline 		I've been here a couple of years and haven't met a soul....OK, so I didn't want to until a few days ago, but still...

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RE: where is everybody - 5/25/2009 3:56:09 PM   
stella41b


Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline 		So what about the example of some of the male submissives out there who are trying to meet say a domme and who are making the effort but without any success? You can say the same about anyone in fact, and there are those who are encountering people online who they have no desire to meet in real time.

If there was a direct correlation between the amount of effort you put into meeting people and successfully meeting people then I guess we would all be happy, but having been around here a while I have come across evidence that this isn't always the case.

If you're just looking to meet people for coffee, sure it's not that much of a challenge, but this isn't really the Starbucks Appreciation Society. Even the simplest of friendships takes a little more than effort.

Just sayin'.

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RE: where is everybody - 5/25/2009 4:41:43 PM   
peppermint


Posts: 5173
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline 		I've met lots of people in real life that I first knew online.  Perhaps you should combine your online search with going to munches and events.  That's where many, but not all of the meetings have taken place.  The others I've met as I've passed near to their towns or they are traveling near to mine.  

(in reply to FromLondon)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: where is everybody - 5/25/2009 6:39:11 PM   
purepleasure


Posts: 6941
Joined: 4/9/2004
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline 		I've met close to 75 people from CM.  About 40 of them at a very special and memorable event that took place in Orlando, FL this past February alone.

If you really want to meet people from CM, you CAN make it happen.

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RE: where is everybody - 5/25/2009 8:19:56 PM   
wandersalone


Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline 		Welcome to the forums.  Your profile says that you are in Canada so I am guessing you are in London, Ontario right?  I am not sure how bit a city that is and it can be difficult to make that very first step from talking online to meeting face to face.

I have no problems in reading profiles and contacting the people that interest me and then arranging for us to meet for a coffee.  I always ensure the other person knows that we are meeting 'just' for  coffee so there is no pressure.  sometimes this has turned into coffee, dinner and sometimes more but it was never an expectation.

In your initial contact with people from here comment about what they have written to show that you have read their profile and also let them know early on that your goal is to meet people when they both feel comfortable. 

If the person you are chatting with puts up barriers to meeting ask them directly - what more can I do to make you feel willing/comfortable to meet me?  Maybe check with them to remind them to set up a safe call (if they use one), or give them your phone number.

Let us know how it goes


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(in reply to FromLondon)
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RE: where is everybody - 5/26/2009 3:40:37 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		Maybe you should hang out and particiapte on the boards?
Something I would check is, are you canadian or british?  Your profile says London, which obviously there is in Canada, but for some reason, CM sometimes automatically puts british profiles in canadian location - so that might be putting people off or attracting online only peeps.
 
Other than that, there are plenty of events and munches that go on and if you are in London UK, then it's very easy for you to make many of them.
 
the.dark.

< Message edited by Darcyandthedark -- 5/26/2009 3:41:01 AM >

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RE: where is everybody - 5/26/2009 4:43:10 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		So why not go to munches? Meet real people face to face.

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RE: where is everybody - 5/26/2009 8:56:03 AM   
beargonewild


Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Hmmmm..let's see:
100 km to Sarnia,
115 km to Chatham
187 Km to Windsor.

Seems to me that it's no hardship to travel to these cities to meet other kinksters plus London Ont. is large enough to have a thriving and active kink activities also. As many have said, if you want to meet someone, put out the effort yourself as you can't expect everyone to be handed to you on a silver platter.


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RE: where is everybody - 5/26/2009 9:02:31 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FromLondon

I been on this site for sometimes and I have yet to meet anyone.

whats going on.



I can not possibly know why you are not meeting anyone.

I've met about 10 or so people from here.  We talk, we get in the car, we meet. 


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RE: where is everybody - 5/26/2009 10:44:08 PM   
WyldHrt


Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

Maybe you should hang out and particiapte on the boards?

You read my mind, Dark. I've met several people from CM. All but 2 I either connected with on the boards, or was introduced to by forum members I know.


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RE: where is everybody - 5/26/2009 11:13:48 PM   
YoursMistress


Posts: 894
Joined: 12/17/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

Absolutely.

It's not hard to email someone on here, get to know them and say "hey it would be nice to meet you. Why don't we have a cup of coffee together and see what becomes of it?".

I don't have to be interested in someone for anything more than a free cup of coffee to meet someone.




Who was it exactly that was giving out the free coffee?  I actually quit drinking coffee about two years ago, but hell, if it's free. 

yours


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RE: where is everybody - 5/27/2009 10:46:05 AM   
Aneirin


Posts: 6121
Joined: 3/18/2006
From: Tamaris
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FromLondon

I been on this site for sometimes and I have yet to meet anyone.

whats going on.




You can meet anyone, there are lots of people that want to meet up, but are you being selective on who you meet, in which case maybe you are narrowing your possibilities. But as the dark said, hang out on the boards, contribute to what is going on let people see your mind. Maybe then you might meet someone who fits your criteria or it may be you have let that go, and welcome people whose mind you have come to know.


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Profile   Post #: 18
RE: where is everybody - 5/28/2009 10:49:37 AM   
housesub4you


Posts: 1879
Joined: 4/2/2008
Status: offline 		Hey OP

If you want to meet people get off the computer and go outside.  Ask your neighbor if you can spank him or her.  Then wait, soon enough the word will get around and people who enjoy this sort of thing will stop over and say HI

Or go to a munch, either way you need to actually do more than email


< Message edited by housesub4you -- 5/28/2009 10:50:17 AM >

(in reply to Aneirin)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: where is everybody - 5/28/2009 10:57:12 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
quote:

If you want to meet people get off the computer and go outside. Ask your neighbor if you can spank him or her.


i'm not so sure this is a good idea.


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