RE: LDR - The start

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

RE: LDR - The start

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: LDR - The start

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: LDR - The start - 5/28/2009 3:26:35 PM

Posts: 1690
Joined: 11/4/2008
From: Jersey
Status: offline

ZenDragoness:

I wish I had some good suggestions to add here as far as the whole LDR thing, but I've never actually experienced a relationship like that. I do however completely understand the feelings that can and do sometimes develope before having met. And I know it's as real as anything else out there and can be quite overwhelming and very exciting.

However it all turns out for you, I wish you the best possible outcome. And I think the most important thing is to have no regrets.

:)

(in reply to ZenDragoness)

RE: LDR - The start - 5/28/2009 4:13:08 PM

Posts: 372
Joined: 1/21/2006
From: Berlin/Germany
Status: offline

SB,

you got that totally wrong, i risk nothing with my beloved husband, who is my first priority.

ZD

_____________________________

aka Morgaine289

http://goldenerkern.blogspot.com/

(in reply to SailingBum)

RE: LDR - The start - 5/28/2009 4:15:11 PM

Posts: 372
Joined: 1/21/2006
From: Berlin/Germany
Status: offline

And again, i never mentioned or plan to leave my husband, but i understand i should have made clear, that i am poly.

_____________________________

aka Morgaine289

http://goldenerkern.blogspot.com/

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

RE: LDR - The start - 5/28/2009 4:18:58 PM

Posts: 372
Joined: 1/21/2006
From: Berlin/Germany
Status: offline

SmokingGun,

that is very helpful, because i am a 5 means 5 person like you. And i know exactly what you mean. Till now he is behaving very reliable.

ZD

_____________________________

aka Morgaine289

http://goldenerkern.blogspot.com/

(in reply to SmokingGun82)

RE: LDR - The start - 5/28/2009 4:37:21 PM

Posts: 372
Joined: 1/21/2006
From: Berlin/Germany
Status: offline

Marie2:

Reading your post Edith Piafs Song: Non, je ne regrette rien started playing in my head. I heard it as was around 14 and decided there and then to make it my Motto.

No, i do not regret nothing; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q3Kvu6Kgp88&NR=1

And with a nights sleep, i have to admit that NihilusZero and me seem to be very similar. Like him when i develop a feeling like that, i have to find out, if that tune will be a short song, an opera or a zyklus.

And thank you marie2 and everybody else for their words, and although SB got me totally wrong I can not be angry at him, because he helped me with the Zappa song.In fact my husband as a fellow sadist, is telling me: Go find someone for your dominant, sadistic side. I lived poly all my live, before i met and married my husband nearly 10 years ago. Due to his extreme health problems (cancer and assorted other) i had not the time and not the inclination to truly look. Now we are at the end of his remission and everything else is looking good.

Maybe what will happen is that the contact will develop into a friendship and it will getting me started to look in Berlin, the berlin sm scene is quite big and we have everyday meetings. There are so many different kind of meetings, that years ago, i proposed to start a S/M sport day, maybe mondays, just so that every different need is met.

I am much clearer now, thank you all.

_____________________________

aka Morgaine289

http://goldenerkern.blogspot.com/

(in reply to marie2)

RE: LDR - The start - 5/28/2009 6:57:26 PM

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline

quote:

Either your reading comprehension is in need of retuning or you've fabricated a make-believe person to whom this commentary must apply...because it makes no sense as relevant to anything the OP has mentioned.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Sailing Bum is referring to the OP's "Dominant Husband", aka the person she vowed to spend her life with.

Like I said everybody else got it but you. What part of that don't you understand??? I did not say anyone agrees with my post.

BadOne

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

RE: LDR - The start - 5/28/2009 7:44:50 PM

Posts: 2004
Joined: 3/17/2009
Status: offline

You do not say what your expectations (if any) are of this relationship. That would help qualify the stones in the road. I've been in a real time LDR for several years but it only spans a state border, one time zone (barely) and a half a tank of gasoline. I need more input to comment on one that spans two countries on two continents with an ocean between them

(in reply to ZenDragoness)

RE: LDR - The start - 5/28/2009 8:01:29 PM

Firebirdseeking

Posts: 477
Joined: 9/3/2006
Status: offline

oh my. Some of the reasons I dont post much here are: people post for help/support, and sometimes the responses they get are from a firing squad. That is not helpful. Another is that the original thread gets hijacked into other issues...

My thoughts on LDR: When I met my One, we decided within a week that we were going to meet, and we did before the month was over. I think if there is a special feeling, that meeting soon is good (for me, that would be a month or no more than 6 weeks). I have heard of people talking for 6 months before they meet; and then the meeting doesnt go well, or surprise surprise, the other person is married...I am not saying people should rush off and get a fair on Orbitz after a couple of talks, but a face to face is very important. And relatively soon, IMHO.

< Message edited by Firebirdseeking -- 5/28/2009 8:02:27 PM >

(in reply to DomImus)

RE: LDR - The start - 5/29/2009 3:33:54 AM

Posts: 372
Joined: 1/21/2006
From: Berlin/Germany
Status: offline

Dominus and Firebirdseeking,

thank you very much for your words.

Dominus, the situation is cleared and that thread helped me immensely.

And Firebirdseeking, what kind words you found. All in all i have seen people getting a lot more flak than me in this thread.

And for all the people who still believe in love. My now husband and me met on a summernight in a Chat called ZartHart, which was a german SM chat, the first to be exact. We phoned and wrote a lot and met after 8 months. 6 months later we started living together. That was nearly 10 years ago. And i know of another couple, were she moved from Australia to The Netherlands, Europe and they are even longer together than Michael and me.

But, it takes love and determination and the ability to take a risk. Michael and me, we are player at heart. If it is music, a poem, sex/sm, laughter, work, buddism or a discussion, i always play and i love to win, and sometimes to loose..for a time and play again.

You can call it serious lifeplaying.

< Message edited by ZenDragoness -- 5/29/2009 3:35:01 AM >

_____________________________

aka Morgaine289

http://goldenerkern.blogspot.com/

(in reply to Firebirdseeking)

RE: LDR - The start - 5/29/2009 7:21:07 AM

Posts: 544
Joined: 5/11/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ZenDragoness

Marie2:

Reading your post Edith Piafs Song: Non, je ne regrette rien started playing in my head. I heard it as was around 14 and decided there and then to make it my Motto.

No, i do not regret nothing; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q3Kvu6Kgp88&NR=1

And with a nights sleep, i have to admit that NihilusZero and me seem to be very similar. Like him when i develop a feeling like that, i have to find out, if that tune will be a short song, an opera or a zyklus.

And thank you marie2 and everybody else for their words, and although SB got me totally wrong I can not be angry at him, because he helped me with the Zappa song.In fact my husband as a fellow sadist, is telling me: Go find someone for your dominant, sadistic side. I lived poly all my live, before i met and married my husband nearly 10 years ago. Due to his extreme health problems (cancer and assorted other) i had not the time and not the inclination to truly look. Now we are at the end of his remission and everything else is looking good.

Maybe what will happen is that the contact will develop into a friendship and it will getting me started to look in Berlin, the berlin sm scene is quite big and we have everyday meetings. There are so many different kind of meetings, that years ago, i proposed to start a S/M sport day, maybe mondays, just so that every different need is met.

I am much clearer now, thank you all.

Je suis heureuse parce que J'ecouter du Edith Piaf.
Merce for sharing that, I am rusty in my french, but it brought fond memories of my high school days listening to french music with Sister Joan...my house mother/french teacher in the convent.

(in reply to ZenDragoness)

RE: LDR - The start - 5/29/2009 5:21:40 PM

Posts: 372
Joined: 1/21/2006
From: Berlin/Germany
Status: offline

You are so very welcome.

Edith Piaf is great, and why we are at it, why not mention Jacques Brel:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i2wmKcBm4Ik
ne me quitte pas
or
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D-bj1IEqEFk

3 songs by him

_____________________________

aka Morgaine289

http://goldenerkern.blogspot.com/

(in reply to subangi)

RE: LDR - The start - 5/29/2009 7:05:28 PM

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

LDR is a difficult road at the best of times. Personally for me... It would be any sort of committed relationship until we would meet each other... next I wouldn't go very far unless there was the goal to be together.....

I did LDR... did it for about 2.5 years.... she lives with me now for the past year and half... and that made all the time in those 2.5 years worth it... life looks really good for me right now.

I don't think there is any specific advice I could give you to make a LDR relationship work... becuase it is so dependent on the people involved. We did alot of different things to make the distance easier but ironically it also made it harder too. The more we work to make LDR easier.... the more we ached to be together. We visited with each other about once every three months while we whee apart.

Oh yeah... I guess I should also note that we are a poly relationship to boot too.... so... that had it's own particular issues that are distinct from the LDR issues.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to ZenDragoness)

RE: LDR - The start - 5/30/2009 10:19:12 PM

Posts: 372
Joined: 1/21/2006
From: Berlin/Germany
Status: offline

KoM,

good to read you. Due to a time spend absent from the boards and not seeing one of you post, i thought you may have retreated from here.

I am well aware of your LDR experiences and what all three of you wrote about it here, it is something i followed closely, wishing you the best.

My situation is now cleared, but your words will maybe help me in another LDR situation, which i will not seek, but that can doubtless happen.

ZD

_____________________________

aka Morgaine289

http://goldenerkern.blogspot.com/

(in reply to KnightofMists)

RE: LDR - The start - 5/31/2009 7:55:37 AM

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

I suppose we have retreated or at limited our time here..... being here before was one of the ways we managed the distance apart as well as a way to indirectly communicate to each other with all the direct talks we had. You learn alot about people just watching them interact with others and how others interact with them.

But, now... being all together.... the forums don't have much for us of significant benefits and we spend alot less time engaged in them as a result

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to ZenDragoness)

RE: LDR - The start - 5/31/2009 8:11:04 AM

Posts: 3032
Joined: 4/10/2007
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

I suppose we have retreated or at limited our time here..... being here before was one of the ways we managed the distance apart as well as a way to indirectly communicate to each other with all the direct talks we had. You learn alot about people just watching them interact with others and how others interact with them.

But, now... being all together.... the forums don't have much for us of significant benefits and we spend alot less time engaged in them as a result

How very true for us, as well, KoM. But it is good to see your posts and hear that all is well with you and yours.

(in reply to KnightofMists)

RE: LDR - The start - 5/31/2009 8:54:27 AM

Posts: 372
Joined: 1/21/2006
From: Berlin/Germany
Status: offline

It must have been, that i was so happy reading about other poly people who gave a very positve example. But i completely understand your decision. Being poly myself, and have lived it for a longer time than my monogamous period, i thought that you gave other people a great possibility to see the evolution.

_____________________________

aka Morgaine289

http://goldenerkern.blogspot.com/

(in reply to KnightofMists)

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: LDR - The start

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2024

Terms of Service

0.059