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RE: Proper address for a switch - 7/28/2009 6:07:40 PM

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The name or online nick is what I prefer to use and have used. Honorifics are saved for those I have a dynamic with. If someone demands I use an honorific, I avoid a/o ignore them.

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RE: Proper address for a switch - 7/29/2009 2:02:44 AM

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I make no exceptions and address them as I would any person - with courtesy, kindness and compassion.

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RE: Proper address for a switch - 7/29/2009 3:36:04 AM

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"eh you on the fence!" is a good attention getter

i personally hate the slashy speak, i tend to think people overly into it are trying to pull some elitist crap wisdom about d/S. i have been in chatrooms with greetings such as "hi A/all" and so on, i often find those using it assume you some lesser person if your a sub or switch and doms are instantly experts on all domains. its one of my major pet pevs with bdsm communities and why i avoid some other sites entirly.
i view it the same as people being called maam and sir out of nowhere, its an assumption about how people want to be treated weather they like it or have earned it at all.

and most importantly above all, A/all and slashy speak just looks tacky..

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RE: Proper address for a switch - 7/29/2009 4:11:37 AM

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the approach i would take is if i was speaking with someone, to simply get to know them and discuss likes, dislikes, and all that stuff. so that you and him/her know where to start

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RE: Proper address for a switch - 7/30/2009 10:38:33 AM

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RE: Proper address for a switch - 8/1/2009 2:29:30 PM

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I prefer "Hello Beautiful!"

(in reply to Apocalypso)

RE: Proper address for a switch - 8/2/2009 2:01:22 PM

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I don't capitalise pronouns, unless they open a new sentence. My internal editor auto-corrects slash speak as well. In online communities, and for people I have not connected to in any other function, the username, even in abbreviated form, is just fine. Don't like, don't play.

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RE: Proper address for a switch - 8/2/2009 9:30:11 PM

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I very much appreciated the inherent respect and equality connoted in Lady Pact's response.

I expect to be addressed by my name (Or whatever name I've given the person) until and unless directed otherwise (And, that's regardless of the side of the kneel on which I am functioning).
I expect to be treated as an equal (at least) to whomever I am speaking and it will do the opposite of impressing me should someone speak down to me or presume in speaking to me.
I despise the use of honourifics if I have not stated to someone that I am allowing them to use such toward me, nor will I use honourifics toward someone unless our relationship is such that it is appropriate (Ie: I won't address every Dominant as Sir or Lord or whatever or every Domme as Goddess or Mistress or whatever).
Generally, I can 'taste' what side of the kneel a person is on; just impression, perception. I don't presume, I do not behave presumptuously.
We are all people first and foremost.
And, imo, to get overly focused on modes of address, capitalizing versus not, etc., we fail to see the forest for the trees.
Best wishes,
Davan

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(in reply to Apocalypso)

RE: Proper address for a switch - 8/3/2009 1:19:38 AM

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I hate the capitalisation for two reasons:
One) It's poor use of English; and
Two) It's a carry over from Gor. And I HATE the effect those books have. Maybe because I believe in female sexual superiority... and cause I'm a male sub. But also, because I hate anyone who lives out fiction - Tolkien, Star Trek, Harry Potter, Twilight - it's all crap! Live in the now people - make your own style!
But yeah - I think the proper use of English is required - and let the form of address come out in your tone.

(in reply to Apocalypso)

RE: Proper address for a switch - 8/3/2009 7:46:51 AM

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Proper names and proper English.

I appreciate being called Mistress about as much as I like calling someone Master, which is not at all. Ugh.

(in reply to aladdinsane)

RE: Proper address for a switch - 8/3/2009 9:32:10 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: aladdinsane

I hate the capitalisation for two reasons:
One) It's poor use of English; and
Two) It's a carry over from Gor. And I HATE the effect those books have. Maybe because I believe in female sexual superiority... and cause I'm a male sub. But also, because I hate anyone who lives out fiction - Tolkien, Star Trek, Harry Potter, Twilight - it's all crap! Live in the now people - make your own style!
But yeah - I think the proper use of English is required - and let the form of address come out in your tone.

That part there is quite funny. See, I've kept the style for that specific reason. Mostly that I refuse to allow others to tell Me how I have to express Myself. No one here is going to require that I do anything other than adhere to My own standards for Myself and My own sub.

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RE: Proper address for a switch - 8/4/2009 12:39:13 PM

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I use proper grammar whenever possible. I do not identify as D/s or M/s, but as top/bottom, and I don't feel the need to change my writing style unless it helps clarify what I am writing. Typically, all the slashes and errant capitalization have the opposite effect.

As for what I prefer to be called, Michelle is just fine. Miss Michelle is always a good bet, too. If someone calls me Mistress or slave, I don't get terribly hung up on it. If it happens a lot, I'll correct someone. All in all, it isn't really that important to me, and I have yet to have a problem with it.

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RE: Proper address for a switch - 8/4/2009 1:24:48 PM

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I think most "reasonable" people will not care ne way or the other, and if they do care, will make that clear fairly early on in conversations. It's the fellows that tell me I am a bad sub for not addressing them as Master when I meet them that I have a problem with. As well as any random sub calling my Master "Master," because honestly, he's not her/his master. he's mine only, unless we are playing in a scene and then the address will be dealt with, for sure. And as for other masters, they aren't my master, so why should I call them that? What if we wind up just friends? Maybe some masters can't be just friends. Ah well, if I piss them off, that is their problem. I have one already. Toodles!

(in reply to NakedOnMyChain)

RE: Proper address for a switch - 8/5/2009 11:34:09 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Puc

Hello All!

Forgive me if this is a topic previously covered - but I haven't been able to find it. Im just wondering if there is a certain way other switches expect to be addressed. In situations where normal face-to-face interaction is not possible I find it very difficult to size up who i'm talking to (with other switches specifically) and was wondering if others have the same problem. Some switches would have a more Dominant leaning and others a more submissive leaning.

I suppose one of the things I'm getting at is the whole capitalisation thing of 'You, Me' [Dom] 'you, me' [sub]. How do you deal with this?

Personally, when talking about myself (or Myself?) I've been capitalising when referring to a Dominant opinion and using lowercase for my sub opinions. Where the above doesn't apply I've been sticking to basic English grammar. Does anyone else do this too?

If your not in a relationship (or like me in a polyamourous one) when you are meeting potential partners/playmates for the first time who are also switches, is there any expectation of address there?

---

Puc

Hi Puc

See.... I used the old sales technique, I looked at your communication and mirrored it back to you. Its safe, polite, flattering and almost always works. If you don't have any clues use proper English.

Personally I hate all the Y/you protocol stuff.

Steve

(in reply to Puc)

RE: Proper address for a switch - 8/6/2009 4:05:48 PM

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Ok how about this. You can capitalize the second letter so that you're still sort of lower case but the upper case is still in there.

"yOu should call me a sWitch."

(in reply to JustStephen)

RE: Proper address for a switch - 8/11/2009 4:10:42 AM

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Joined: 8/4/2009
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I capitalize D when speaking of my own Dom. Other than that, I try to use proper grammar when not beating the crud out of it. I give proper respect, and I expect the same to be afforded to me. I am quite new to the whole online thing and find it rather confusing, even for someone who does enjoy ritual, but there reaches a point where I say "hey, get a life, take a break once in a while".

(in reply to Puc)

RE: Proper address for a switch - 8/11/2009 5:53:51 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lostkitten3

*snip* As well as any random sub calling my Master "Master," *snip*

Unless he has earned his Masters cover....any bitch calling him Master that isnt with us...is going to get her pretty face cut....

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RE: Proper address for a switch - 8/11/2009 9:38:17 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Sunnyfey

Unless he has earned his Masters cover....any bitch calling him Master that isnt with us...is going to get her pretty face cut....

*soothing pet*

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RE: Proper address for a switch - 8/11/2009 9:44:16 PM

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*perks* What?...I was just sayin.....

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RE: Proper address for a switch - 8/19/2009 5:34:25 PM

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You know how I and My fiance address our BDSM friends, the same way we address our vanilla friends. Hi, hello, hugs and handshakes. What is on the internet is nothing but utter bullshit as far as how people type. In a relationship all of us have names for our significant other. But the nonsense where people have to be called something specific and be referred to as something specific is just, well, stupid.

I call those I respect sir, or ma'am. Until you get my respect, you get the normal hello so and so, how are you today? Now for those that always introduce themselves as Master or Mistress so and so and tell me to call them that, I usually rarely ever speak to them again. For starters they are neither my mistress or master. I have never been in the presence of someone who deserves the master or mistress title as most have not a clue as to how to treat others.

The people I respect the most and the ones I refer to as sir or ma'am are those that go by their real names with no title. These people are my friends and the ones I care about the most.

(in reply to Sunnyfey)

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