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aimjiel -> RE: Why is Master getting soft? (6/2/2009 1:44:00 PM)
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Hey All, theheartofglass
I think you are finding out what most people in relationships end up encountering, M/s or not, that is, that people are real, and the ideal of a pure dom is more of a myth than you thought.
There is an old quote, from another discipline altogether that I believe applies here, in respect to martial arts and other esoteric practices. When a person begins to criticize, judge, or act as if they know better than the teacher, then no fruitful work can be done, it is time to move on, to leave and either find a new teacher, or become ones own teacher.
This applies to D/s, when you begin to see the mistakes of your Master, when you sense that he is not what he originally appeared to be, then it is time to evaluate yourself and him in the context of your relationship. A Dom who acts this way is actually behaving very badly in that he has a real responsibility to create for you the sensual and cathartic environment that you both agreed on, if he really cared, he would continue and redouble his efforts in meeting your actual desires.
When you are able to outthink and judge your Master, then he is obviously not of a sufficient level to provide the kinds of experiences that you need, this is most likely lazyness on his part, as it usually is, but can be a whole bunch of stuff together. The reasons are never important, there are a thousand reasons for any outcome, but it doesn't change the way it is. If you are coming to a posting board with this, then you are in a situation that is obviously unpleasant for you, so get out. You are a sub, not a babysitter, mommy, or wet nurse, that isn't what you signed up for, so don't put up with it.
There are many types of people, but they generally fall into three main types, idiots, crybabys, and jerks. Either they think, feel, or move too much. Your master sounds like a crybaby, his taking of a dom position is probably a distortion of his narcissistic need for a provider, an all accessible mommy that he lacked, or didn't get enough of when he was a baby, now he is simply projecting onto you, due to emotional attachment, his narcisstic needs, and not in a dom way, but in a childish and pointless grab, for whatever reason, and really, who gives a shit, for some "if you really cared, you'd be psychic, and fullfill my needs without me having to order you around".
You need to tell him, to paraphrase SailingBum "Man up!" But in reality, that's most likely completely pointless. You need to feel dominated and controlled, or so it sounds to me. However the first part of any controll is self-control. No sub is ever going to feel within control with a person who has no mastery of himself and his emotions, or speech and intonation and so on and so forth.
So to sum up, this sounds ridiculous, if it is truly not what you want, then it's time to find a new dom.
/Jason
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