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Hmmm~ Attracting Dominants. - 6/12/2009 1:57:57 PM

ReverendAnders

Posts: 5
Joined: 6/4/2009
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Hello folks. Young newbie here.

I'm a 22 y/o guy who's still really budding into D/s stuff, but I've come into a little barrier that has me thinking about some questions:

I consider myself a 50/50 switch, and have entertained the possibility being the servant/slave of an older woman/man. Yet I have a wee problem: I only attract submissives. I have had 2 sub playmates and I have 1 who is interested in having some fun-time with me. Great and all, but what about my OTHER needs?

Here's what I've noticed:
If I tell a Dominant that I'm a switch: "Yeah okay that's nice."
If I tell a submissive that I'm a switch: "Let's get together one night, you seem hot!"
So, any time I get to play, I end up the Dominant by default.

My two slaves were absolutely astounding little cum-sluts who begged me to abuse them and sexually destroy them, and it's great. But I like to play fair-and-square and also have other needs that need to be attended to.

I think there's something that I'm doing wrong in my approach toward Doms that uh, "Friend Zones" me with them, but just makes submissive women/men squeal with delight and rush into my bedroom immediately. Any ideas on what I might need to turn up, tone down, and overall change in my approach?

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RE: Hmmm~ Attracting Dominants. - 6/12/2009 3:49:15 PM

PyrotheClown

Posts: 1950
Joined: 5/18/2009
Status: offline

Haha, I'd gladly burden that problem lol

(in reply to ReverendAnders)

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RE: Hmmm~ Attracting Dominants. - 6/13/2009 9:15:37 AM

DavanKael

Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
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Actually, I have rather similar circumstances, though not quite as polarized as do you: it's not uncommon at all for people to simply submit to me as a matter of course. When someone feels rightfully dominant to me, though, that's pretty special (And, it's happened with people who don't necessarily identify as straight-up dominant too).
If you're just looking for play, I can understand why you'd want to alter your approach to attract those you wish to play with at that time but if you're looking for a partner, I'd suggest being yourself as energies tend to intertwine given time and people come to understand one another (or not).
Best wishes,
Davan

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(in reply to PyrotheClown)

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RE: Hmmm~ Attracting Dominants. - 6/14/2009 2:00:17 AM

StoneFox

Posts: 131
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline

Well, you do seem like a genuine nice kind of person, so that's a plus.

Um...I suppose when I encounter new switches, I notice they either forget their place and become difficult or will expect to to dominate ME when they're done subbing. LOL!! Soooo not gonna happen.

My guess is that if you're not attracting Dominants, it's because your personality isn't coming off very submissive when you're talking to them? Also, a lot of Dominants won't be interested in sex right away with a male sub. So just offer up your service and let them determine where they might want it to go.

Hope that helps!

(in reply to DavanKael)

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RE: Hmmm~ Attracting Dominants. - 6/15/2009 2:56:23 PM

ReverendAnders

Posts: 5
Joined: 6/4/2009
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quote:

it's because your personality isn't coming off very submissive when you're talking to them?

Well, that IS part of my personality... I'm a very intense kinda guy who easily puts himself "out there"... I guess it's just not the way I'm wired to be the meek little guy. Davan might be right in that I should just be myself and just... let it happen. Like I said, I'm still exploring all of this and who knows what I find within myself?

(in reply to StoneFox)

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