CallaFirestormBW
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Joined: 6/29/2008
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quote:
ORIGINAL: daddysprop
your definition of service would be our definition of proactive service. my Master strictly forbids proactive service as it requires presumption, and he also feels that it can be a subtle way for someone to exert control.
It's amazing how different households can be. In our household, I cherish our servants who are able and willing to provide "proactive service". Admittedly, it isn't something we encourage right away, since it really requires knowing the free members -very- well, in order to be able to anticipate their needs... and, overall, not a lot of the people we've worked with over the years have the knack of being both proactive and non-intrusive in their service. I like -subtle-, near-invisible, seamless service, and someone who is going to be providing proactive service had better know me pretty well to be able to sense what I might want. There are some things that are common-sense... like picking up my clothing when I am too tired to put it where it belongs myself. There are other things that are person-related (and, frankly, provide some of the biggest challenges of a multi-free-member household), like the fact that, when it's scorching outside, I like either kombucha with -no- ice or a soda with... but SR hates anything carbonated when it's hot out and won't put -ice- in anything... and she'd rather have a cup of lukewarm Earl Grey than a cold drink any day.
On the other hand, for me, I adore the servant who is able to excel at having -just- the right thing in -just- the right place at -just- the right time... when I didn't ask for it, and, sometimes, when I didn't even know what I needed/wanted myself. We've had two of those in the 12 years I've been with the House, and it is a bonus beyond words. I concur, though, that it often indicates someone with a propensity towards leadership. Both of the servants we had who excelled at this went on to become head-servants and manage staff, although, to this day, they still drop a knee or curtsey when they come by the house, and are as impeccably obedient as they ever were, so I don't necessarily think that taking initiative means being less inclined to yield in servitude.
Dame Calla
< Message edited by CallaFirestormBW -- 7/1/2009 12:28:17 PM >
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Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"
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RE: "Serving" - 
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TO ME, it is not worth the risk. I've made it quite plain that I would not sacrifice my marriage let alone my wife herself on the alter of some BDSM terminology. But there are more answers here than simply in or out of scope. What I am actually doing is rewiring her value system so that such commands would not cause the emotional harm and therefor not contain the risk. Clearly, I need to be very cautious about unintended consequences related to that effort. Just as clearly, I'm going to get a ration of shit for posting that. 
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