ThatDamnedPanda
Posts: 6060
Joined: 1/26/2009 Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: QuixoticErrant No, what I picked up on was the word "need." Do I "need" D/s to feel complete or to feel loving? Actually no. I love D/s, it is why I am here after all, but I do not need it. Your definition of the word "need" seems to shift about within your post, which has a couple of effects. First, I think it illustrates how broadly the word can be interpreted by different people in different contexts, and second, it makes it difficult to frame a relevant reply. Because it's hard to know which definition of "need" we're addressing. But if I were to pick out this specific context, my answer would be yes, absolutely. Because a D/s dynamic is the only way in which i am able to fully express romantic love in a relationship, and because I don't believe I'm truly complete as a human being unless I'm in a loving relationship, then yes - I do need D/s to feel complete and to feel loving. Do I need it in the sense that I absolutely have to have it in order to live? Obviously not, considering how many years I've been single. Do I need it in the sense that it's essential for me to achieve certain personal goals without it? Yes, absolutely. There's need, and then there's need. YMMV. To each their own. quote:
ORIGINAL: QuixoticErrant What I am proposing in this entry is the notion that the difference between healthy D/s and unhealthy D/s is much like the definition of an addiction. If you want a drink and you enjoy a drink, then by all means... If you NEED a drink, then you are an alcoholic. I am writing this about the difference between enjoying and needing a thing. I would suggest that if you need D/s to be part of your self definition then you are likely in need the ability to self generate worth. If on the other hand, you enjoy doing it, but could still feel normal if you weren't, then that is another thing. I know you didn't mean any offense by that, but it does come across as pretty judgmental. I have no problem at all with any issues of self-worth, yet I'm one who believes that he needs D/s in order to be fully self-actualized. Again, we seem to be getting stuck on vague and vastly different definitons of the word "need." You seem to be arguing from a pretty narrow frame of personal reference, and assuming that anyone living in a way that you don't think is healthy for you, is living in a way that is unhealthy period. quote:
ORIGINAL: QuixoticErrant Needing a person whom you love is perhaps one addiction I will not say is bad. However, needing to whip or be whipped because otherwise you are "just not you" is an issue. As with all addictions, it can lead to very self destructive behavior, like needing to have your blood drunk in order to feel complete, or needing that beating that is just a little more over the top, or needing whatever sort of more and more extreme play until we are talking about real dangers. Again, what exactly are we talking about? D/s or SM? Physical sensation, or a psychological dynamic? I'm just not following you. It's clear (in a general sense) what you're going for, but the argument you're using to get there seems to be kinda wandering back and forth a bit. Which makes it difficult to track it to the exact destination.
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Panda, panda, burning bright In the forest of the night What immortal hand or eye Made you all black and white and roly-poly like that?
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