Taken in hand

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

Taken in hand

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> Taken in hand

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Taken in hand - 6/24/2009 9:59:06 AM

Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
Status: offline

I found this article interesting and wondered what others thought?

http://www.takeninhand.com/woman.whisperer .... but I ignored the married bit!

I can be deeply submissive to my partner but before meeting him I never thought I could be the woman I am now.
I met numerous men who seemed to instantly expect some sort of submission from me, with very little control from them and I just found myself thinking 'dont be silly'
The very subtle but expectant and consistent kind of control described in this article hits the nail on the head for me.

Are you the kind of Dominant that would expect instant results?
Or is Dominance something you work towards over a period of time?

_____________________________

S&M (Steve and Maria) persona libre de convencionalismos

Fan of edgeplay.co.uk

RE: Taken in hand - 6/24/2009 10:18:59 AM

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

Yup, it is my belief that I should just be able to walk up to a random woman on the streets and bark out, "Kneel and blow me bitch!" while slapping her in the face. After she does the deed, she ought to fall at my feet worshipping my domliness.

You know what? It REALLY pisses me off that the neighbor woman called the cops instead. Sheez, who does she think she is?

edited to add: I'm desperately hoping I ruin GT's backup keyboard with that one.

< Message edited by leadership527 -- 6/24/2009 10:20:20 AM >

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to allthatjaz)

RE: Taken in hand - 6/24/2009 10:32:36 AM

Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

Yup, it is my belief that I should just be able to walk up to a random woman on the streets and bark out, "Kneel and blow me bitch!" while slapping her in the face. After she does the deed, she ought to fall at my feet worshipping my domliness.

You know what? It REALLY pisses me off that the neighbor woman called the cops instead. Sheez, who does she think she is?

edited to add: I'm desperately hoping I ruin GT's backup keyboard with that one.

Your such a worry

_____________________________

S&M (Steve and Maria) persona libre de convencionalismos

Fan of edgeplay.co.uk

(in reply to leadership527)

RE: Taken in hand - 6/24/2009 3:07:09 PM

RLMK

Posts: 48
Joined: 6/6/2009
From: SC
Status: offline

That site bothers me a bit -- when it went on about a woman "wanting" to be raped... Some women do, I've had partners who did -- and everything was lots of fun -- the difference was "darling" could scream "NO!," and struggle, and fight all she wanted -- but if she said "Red" I'd stop immediately. The writer didn't seem to mention safewords, which is a bit important...

_____________________________

Always happy to introduce new people to shooting. Please feel free to contact me for such an introduction. Even if you aren't certain about your desire to become armed, an adult should know the very basics of how to safely handle and unload a weapon.

(in reply to allthatjaz)

RE: Taken in hand - 6/24/2009 5:54:14 PM

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

When I meet a woman, my initial concern isn't "How do I get her to submit to me?" It's "Do I want a relationship with her?" first.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to RLMK)

RE: Taken in hand - 6/24/2009 6:06:38 PM

Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline

I keep getting an internal server error when I click the link. I even just typed in "www.takeninhand.com" and got the same error. Too bad. Looks interesting

luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to allthatjaz)

RE: Taken in hand - 6/24/2009 6:30:21 PM

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

~FR~

For those that don't know, Taken In Hand is an interesting spin on things... Loosely speaking your talking a focus on straight, married people where the male is the "head of household" -- basically Carol & I. Apparently there's a lot of spanking going on under the guise of "punishment" which led me to conclude that one of two things was true:

These people have the worst behaved wives I have ever even imagined.
They are closet SM and don't want to admit it.

Given it's nature, you'd think that I would like it, but the rather disingenuous obsession with spanking and punishment leaves me preferring BDSM where at least people are up front about WIITTD.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to slaveluci)

RE: Taken in hand - 6/24/2009 7:15:54 PM

Posts: 332
Joined: 4/29/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

~FR~

For those that don't know, Taken In Hand is an interesting spin on things... Loosely speaking your talking a focus on straight, married people where the male is the "head of household" -- basically Carol & I. Apparently there's a lot of spanking going on under the guise of "punishment" which led me to conclude that one of two things was true:

These people have the worst behaved wives I have ever even imagined.

They are closet SM and don't want to admit it.

Given it's nature, you'd think that I would like it, but the rather disingenuous obsession with spanking and punishment leaves me preferring BDSM where at least people are up front about WIITTD.

I agree. I've been friends with an unabashed TiH couple for many years. So, she and I have talked, you know, about things. And I was struck by the same thought. When she says things about "discipline" or "punishment", I bite my tongue while I think "Oh, please, you just like your fair share of slap and tickle, admit it already!"
j

(in reply to leadership527)

RE: Taken in hand - 6/25/2009 2:22:36 AM

Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
Status: offline

I have to admit that I have read very little on this site but was lead to this particular page from another BDSM site and what interested me was the leadership element of this particular page.
As far as the rape stuff.... its kind of irrelevant to topic and as far as the spanking brigade, all I can say is Im tolerant but not that interested.

I have been trying to work out for a while why Stephen hit all the right buttons for me. Perhaps it doesn't matter but my ever inquiring mind looks deeply into why it worked.
Of all the years I spent within the scene as a Dominant woman, I never believed that a man could get my head into a submissive place. Thats not that I didn't desire it. I even gave it a try but it all just felt a bit silly and unreal and so for many years I just stuck to my Alpha side.
With Stephen it was (As Dark Stephen states) a relationship first and bit by bit the control from him started to seep in and bit by bit I embraced that and started to relax the submissive me. My submission was never instantaneous but came through a working of minds over a period of time.
We have lots of play time but then thats just fun time and on its own would mean very little. The deeper stuff for me is his consistency in enforcing rules and my consistency to want to forfill those rules. I don't want to fulfill those rules because he is a 'Dominant'. I want to forfill them because I have the greatest respect for the man in my life and understand what he needs and expects from the woman in his life. I want to be his strength as much as he is mine and I want to inspire him and encourage him as much as he does me.
I was a staunchly independent woman that had only had relationships with men that were under my control and my biggest fear was letting go of that control. I believed that to submit meant giving up a part of myself that I admired when in actual fact what it has given me is the freedom to please, the freedom to trust and the freedom to fall in love.
As far as I can see it, I was taken in hand.

_____________________________

S&M (Steve and Maria) persona libre de convencionalismos

Fan of edgeplay.co.uk

(in reply to janiebelle)

RE: Taken in hand - 6/25/2009 8:30:19 AM

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

What Jeff said. They like the spanking but are ashamed to admit it. Which means they're already starting with a huge problem, a shared unspoken lie. Beyond that, the assumption is that any strong woman will come to be mastered when forced whereas all that gets you is the cops being called. Consent has to come first.

And their history of woman being carried off by force, raped and then automatically coming to fall in love with the rapist/kidnapper? Makes me ill, both from how badly educated they are and the total obliviousness to what a raped woman really feels. You want to talk about how this induced Stockholm Syndrome in the victim, fine but pretending otherwise is just another lie.

Romantic about the worst parts and lies about the best. No thanks. Plus it's too heavily Christian for me.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to allthatjaz)

RE: Taken in hand - 6/25/2009 9:49:28 AM

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
And their history of woman being carried off by force, raped and then automatically coming to fall in love with the rapist/kidnapper?

Wow Des, I don't remember reading that crap on TIH. That's more like the random mumblings of Norman. More and more though as I dig into the actual workings of human behavior (sociology and psychology) and the actual history of us humans (history and etymology), I'm amused by how wrong so many assumptions are.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to DesFIP)

RE: Taken in hand - 6/25/2009 10:30:45 AM

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

Yup, it is my belief that I should just be able to walk up to a random woman on the streets and bark out, "Kneel and blow me bitch!" while slapping her in the face. After she does the deed, she ought to fall at my feet worshipping my domliness.

You know what? It REALLY pisses me off that the neighbor woman called the cops instead. Sheez, who does she think she is?

edited to add: I'm desperately hoping I ruin GT's backup keyboard with that one.

MIssion accomplished....

(smartass)

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to leadership527)

RE: Taken in hand - 6/25/2009 10:41:55 AM

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

*laughs* Damn straight skippy. Maybe I'm a keyboard sadist?

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to GreedyTop)

RE: Taken in hand - 6/25/2009 11:14:39 AM

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

*snort*

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to leadership527)

RE: Taken in hand - 6/25/2009 3:10:22 PM

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
And their history of woman being carried off by force, raped and then automatically coming to fall in love with the rapist/kidnapper?

Wow Des, I don't remember reading that crap on TIH. That's more like the random mumblings of Norman. More and more though as I dig into the actual workings of human behavior (sociology and psychology) and the actual history of us humans (history and etymology), I'm amused by how wrong so many assumptions are.

You missed the bit about bridegrooms and the best man actually used to steal the woman away unwillingly and rape her at the first safe stopping place and how afterwards she was his willing slave. Sure she was, just what every 12 year old girl would feel, a fact that they carefully glossed over.

It was just a line or two but it's such a horrible bit of false facts that I had to address it.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to leadership527)

RE: Taken in hand - 6/25/2009 3:57:38 PM

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

Heh, OK. You're right I certainly didn't read all the articles on TIH. I got mistrustful after about the 900th post on the need to spank my wife.

In truth, I found the entire article linked above to be... well.. childish. I thought it demonstrated a consistently poor understanding of men, women, dominance and submission. The very way the author characterized the problem was so fundamentally flawed that it's hard to believe. So let me get this straight, if a woman is intelligent, competent, and capable and wants to submit, then she is going to fight my dominance? *blinks* I should "bring her to heel" *laughs*

In my experience, people with those attributes bend them to thier goals... in this case, submission. They do not play games -- or not the ones that end up in my bed anyway -- or my teams at work for that matter.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to DesFIP)

RE: Taken in hand - 6/25/2009 6:09:45 PM

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

I am trying to start a website called 'Taken in mouth".

It's for the girls, don't you know.

To trade recipies and what not

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to leadership527)

RE: Taken in hand - 6/25/2009 9:29:35 PM

Posts: 128
Joined: 12/29/2007
Status: offline

I definitely don't expect instant results. Everyone is different. And these relationships really need to be based in trust. You can't expect someone to trust you immediately, it has to be worked up to. I think it's unreasonable to expect anything else.

(in reply to mnottertail)

RE: Taken in hand - 6/25/2009 9:37:17 PM

Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline

Gawd, that was a blast from the past....

Before i found CM, I used to read a lot of Domestic Discipline blogs...the vast majority written by women of "a certain age" who really enjoyed being spanked. They all held TIH as the utter bible of what it was they did, holding forth regularly about how they WEREN'T into BDSM, but just liked being controlled and disciplined.

Of course, to a person, they had plenty of tales of how disobedient they'd been and how their husband had been soooo upset with them and put them in their place in a way that made sitting terribly uncomfortable.

I think it's been a couple of years since I even so much as looked at one of those blogs, let alone TIH. Thanks for the trip down memory lane...

As for the article...hilarious!

_____________________________

I tell you this: No eternal reward will forgive us now for wasting the dawn
Proud Owner of Darkmoonkat. Such a good girl!

(in reply to cagliostro)

RE: Taken in hand - 6/26/2009 12:59:03 AM

Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

This is the first I've heard of this site. I meandered to their front page and came upon a paragraph that was awfully interesting to me:

quote:

The Taken In Hand relationship is one in which, to the delight of both spouses, the husband actively controls (takes in hand) his wife, who may be a bit of a handful (as opposed to submissive/docile).

It piqued my curiosity because about a week ago I was visiting DavanKael, a friend of mine and fellow poster, and we ended up talking about the two major ways in which people reaffirm (consciously or not) their dominant or submissive side (and this TiH style seems to mirror the second of the below types):

A Dom/me who has hir dominance affirmed through seeking a relationship where the submissive is contented and/or behaved to where the concept of punishment rarely (if ever) comes up. Here, the Dom/me has hir dominance affirmed by the degree of consistent yielding obedience of hir sub and the sub has hir submission affirmed by the serene contentment of the Dom/me in hir sub.

A Dom/me who has hir dominance affirmed through seeking a relationship where continual occurrences of events illicit scenarios where the Dom/me has to exert control/discipline over hir sub. Here, the Dom/me has hir dominance affirmed by actively enacting it (this can be physically or psychologically) and the sub has hir submission affirmed by being put in her place for her behavior.

The more I thought about it, the more I was able to think back to comments I'd read and relate them to this dichotomy. Anything from subs who like being bratty in order to get punished to Dominants who want expressions of submission near-instantly to discussions about punishment to the difference between subs who say they're naturally submissive and those who say they only succumb to someone "dominant enough".

Despite the fact that we might agree that many naive idealists and fantasy-oriented newcomers might more often get bunched into the second category, I don't know yet that there is necessarily anything inherently "non twue" about either way to conduct one's relationship.

I fell like I should finish this post more thoroughly...but I really should be getting finished with preparing for a trip across a few states to my sister's wedding.

< Message edited by NihilusZero -- 6/26/2009 1:03:37 AM >

_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

NihilusZero.com

CM Sex God du Jour
CM Hall Monitor

(in reply to Fitznicely)

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> Taken in hand

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2024

Terms of Service

0.559