RE: "...I like what You like..."

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RE: "...I like what You like..." - 6/30/2009 9:16:15 AM

Rhembein

Posts: 136
Joined: 6/8/2009
From: North Carolina
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

There's a possibility that he's a wanker looking to get off on your answer.

If not, then your answer is fine. The only wrong answer is, "I love to get spanked fourteen times on the left cheek and twelve times on the right cheek with a lacquered birch paddle while my tits are tied with a fifteen foot length of sisal rope..."

i said a twelve foot rope, Steven.

I wish to hell you would pay attention

*chokes on Oreo*

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This one is bound to love, serve, and obey.

Holding on and letting go, she just keeps giving in. No matter what He needs, her answer is always yes. He only has to dream and she does the rest.

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RE: "...I like what You like..." - 7/9/2009 7:16:48 PM

BeingChewsie

Posts: 1633
Joined: 10/27/2005
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I completely agree. That is what lights my rockets, submitting to the desires of another, period. Just like the answer to the question "Where would you like to go for dinner?" was responded to with "anywhere you would like to go." I have not been asked a question like that in almost a decade and it is sheer bliss to be understood in this way by my Master.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

...So, if "i like what You like" is your honest inclination, how does one come up with the juicy tidbit that your partner would rather hear?...

personally, 6 1/2 years ago this slave stopped engaging in partnerships with folks who have some kind of issue with/can't comprehend that "i like what you like" translates into submitting to a partner's desires IS what this slave likes to do sexually...it is how she is wired...it's what gets her hot and bothered.

if they couldn't run with that, then this slave had no interest in passing them the ball.

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"In fact, it is my contention that most women are accepting of way less than optimal circumstance constantly, and are lucky to be 'snagged' by the right man, if ever. But it is more by happy accident than by their design. "
~Ron and Hup

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Post #: 22

RE: "...I like what You like..." - 7/10/2009 1:53:49 AM

ranja

Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/1/2007
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It is very difficult to be open and honest about the things that turn you on...
There is the fear for being found rediculous or disgusting or being laughed at...also desires often change so what works one time might not necessarily work at another time...
I struggled for years to even put my finger on what it exactly is that turns me on i just want to go with the flow and loose myself in the feeling and since i am very open minded and not much inclined at all to ever give a sexual parner a tough time about their desires it is soooo much easier and safer to go along with whatever the Man wants...

Until i started doing cyber... which for me is mainly about writing down wank fodder... i found out that what i could not really say I got better and better at writing down, i mean serious hot stuff.... and with a bit of practise (it was extremely scary) i am able to voice my desires now aswell... it's great, i like sex even better now!
my Man does not have to mind read anymore if He doesn't want to.

I'd say if the Master wants wank fodder...well get practising... it will empower you

good luck

(in reply to xiam)

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RE: "...I like what You like..." - 7/12/2009 4:50:38 AM

ranja

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

There's a possibility that he's a wanker looking to get off on your answer.

If not, then your answer is fine. The only wrong answer is, "I love to get spanked fourteen times on the left cheek and twelve times on the right cheek with a lacquered birch paddle while my tits are tied with a fifteen foot length of sisal rope..."

I make a lousy service top.

and after thinking on this for a while i have to say i totally disagree with this...
The answer to the question is fine... if one has a fetish for exact measurements...if this is what makes a person hot... the question was asked and this could very well be a serious answer for some... The response to the answer given might be wrong though and fear of this might exactly be why a person prefers to just want what somebody else wants and not be clear at all about how much rope to use and exactly where to be hit and with what...
(all this totally naf fear of topping from the bottom on both sides of the coin)

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RE: "...I like what You like..." - 7/12/2009 7:53:36 AM

estah

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agirl...that was just brilliant. 'I promise faithfully to tell you just as soon as I know myself.

estah

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RE: "...I like what You like..." - 7/12/2009 8:49:17 AM

leadership527

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quote:

ORIGINAL: xiam
So, if "i like what You like" is your honest inclination, how does one come up with the juicy tidbit that your partner would rather hear?

Me personally? I'd expect quite a bit more self-knowledge that that answer dictates. Truly and really I get "I like what you like." I'm a fairly flexible personality myself. But being very flexible does not equate to having no preferences of my own. If I asked Carol that question, I wouldn't be looking for some "juicy tidbit". I would be expecting her to obey and answer the question in a direct and forthright fashion. If she held to the idea that she truly had absolutely no preferences.... that the entire sea of human sexuality was some undifferentiated mass of "I like that well enough"... I don't know what I'd do but I'd be interpreting it as direct disobedience.

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I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
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RE: "...I like what You like..." - 7/12/2009 1:43:06 PM

freakyforu

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I like to put out. It's that simple. Sure there are specific things that get me going (CFNM anyone?), more important, to this submissive's mindset, is pleasing the Dominant.

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RE: "...I like what You like..." - 7/12/2009 8:08:38 PM

silkncarol

Posts: 318
Status: offline

I go along with beth's thought here........If my Dominant partner can't figure out what to do with me sexually then i can't see it working between us. Even if some things not a hot bottom for me, it turns me on and get great pleasure from knowing i'm pleasing Him and He's enjoying it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

...So, if "i like what You like" is your honest inclination, how does one come up with the juicy tidbit that your partner would rather hear?...

personally, 6 1/2 years ago this slave stopped engaging in partnerships with folks who have some kind of issue with/can't comprehend that "i like what you like" translates into submitting to a partner's desires IS what this slave likes to do sexually...it is how she is wired...it's what gets her hot and bothered.

if they couldn't run with that, then this slave had no interest in passing them the ball.

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Shoes can change your life................. Cinderella

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Post #: 28

RE: "...I like what You like..." - 7/14/2009 5:52:45 PM

TimrehIX

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I think you are getting a little too focused on a pithy answer. Next time try listing a few activities you really like and at the end work in the “anything you want” bit. For instance.

Dom: What do you like to do sexually?
You: Well Sir, I really like to be tied to the furniture not just the bed, and to be spanked when I misbehave. I love a Dom who pushes my limits, what really gets me hot is knowing that I am pleasing my Dom.

This way he knows a few things you are into. So he can start working a scene in his head, and you got to add the “anything you want” in there subtly. He might really like hearing you say what you like out loud. It is one thing to like puppy play, but another to admit out loud that you like to be on all fours barking.

It’s hard to get a strong energy going if the Dom has no idea what it is that fires you up. Tell him you like to submit, or be forced to dress as he dictates, or perhaps say power exchange. These all go with “anything you like” without sounding contrived.

< Message edited by TimrehIX -- 7/14/2009 5:53:08 PM >

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RE: "...I like what You like..." - 7/14/2009 6:48:30 PM

petmonkey

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deleted response.

< Message edited by petmonkey -- 7/14/2009 6:54:17 PM >

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RE: "...I like what You like..." - 7/16/2009 6:57:34 AM

masteredwin

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As a domme I think the question "what do you like?" is not the right way to ask.
Obviously I do expect a sub/slave to have some idea what she likes or dislikes.

I do however ask her if she likes specific things, like being tied up, or being spanked.
Better yes, I have her rate those on a scale from 1 to 10.
Another approach is to have her describe some of her fantasies to me, with details.
I also have her describe what some specific thing looks like, if it is to be played out.

All of this allows me to discover what she likes, rather then having her explain it to me.
Further more I always ask her the things she does not like, and what her limits are.

Now as for the "I like whatever you like" mindset.
If she indentifies as a sub, I play out something that is to both our liking, but I control the action.
If she identifies as a slave I do whatever feels right to me, assuming only it does not violate her limits.
And I do like being a bit sadistical.

The question "what do you like?" puts the sub in control.
As a domme the burden of knowing is on me, not on her.

As a domme its is better fo find out what you like yourself, and then let her respond to that.
And if a sub/slave has a specific fantasy, I may play it out with her, but she should know there will be a twist somewhere.

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RE: "...I like what You like..." - 7/26/2009 5:58:04 PM

punkishone

Posts: 11
Joined: 1/5/2009
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I was with one man for 17 years before I came to be with the man I am with now. BORING SEX. This man seems to do alot of what I had dreamt about with the other, and I've never been in a BDSM relationship before, so I guess I am kind of boring with no other ideas.

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RE: "...I like what You like..." - 7/26/2009 6:11:34 PM

ShoreBound149

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I've never asked her what she likes sexually....It's never even crossed my mind to ask her.

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RE: "...I like what You like..." - 8/7/2009 10:02:42 PM

MMagic

Posts: 183
Joined: 2/9/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: xiam

In another thread, janiebelle said: "...being asked 'what do you like to do sexually?' is tough. And I likewise see how answering 'doing whatever pleases you, and doing it well' is not quite the hot little tidbit he was after."

So, if "i like what You like" is your honest inclination, how does one come up with the juicy tidbit that your partner would rather hear?

The second I saw the title of this post I immediately flashed to the movie Coming to America when Eddie Murphy's character is introduced to the woman who'd been trained all of her life to be his Queen and servant. He asked what she liked and her reply was " Whatever you like...". LOL! Every thing he asked her was Whatever you like, whatever foods you like...Incidentally I saw this movie last weekend and I noticed she is wearing a solid gold collar. Ironic much....not.

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RE: "...I like what You like..." - 8/7/2009 10:36:13 PM

AnimusRex

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quote:

ORIGINAL: xiam

In another thread, janiebelle said: "...being asked 'what do you like to do sexually?' is tough. And I likewise see how answering 'doing whatever pleases you, and doing it well' is not quite the hot little tidbit he was after."

So, if "i like what You like" is your honest inclination, how does one come up with the juicy tidbit that your partner would rather hear?

Over the years I have stopped worrying about what turns kim on, because serving My needs is exactly what turns her on; whther it is something that gives her an orgasm, or if it is just Me taking her sudenly without foreplay or tenderness, she is aroused by being the vessel of My pleasure.

And that is about as juicy a tidbit as I can handle.

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RE: "...I like what You like..." - 8/8/2009 1:32:16 PM

pleasuredancer

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I think sometimes this question comes more from a desire to hear a women talk dirty than it is trying to learn what she likes. Either way, when he asks, if he asks, and I want to please, I share something. I am not good at talking dirty-- I mess the pronouns up and end up saying really silly stuff. I can, though, be specific about what I like. It doesn't have to be the 'favorite' if you have one, just something that you wouldn't say at normal dinner conversation.

I used to be the, "I like what you like" girl, but I realized that the question wasn't that literal, usually. The question had more to do with opening a door than finding a literal answer. The depth of the relationship will determine the depth of the answer I give.

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RE: "...I like what You like..." - 8/8/2009 4:35:01 PM

Acer49

Posts: 1434
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quote:

ORIGINAL: xiam

In another thread, janiebelle said: "...being asked 'what do you like to do sexually?' is tough. And I likewise see how answering 'doing whatever pleases you, and doing it well' is not quite the hot little tidbit he was after."

So, if "i like what You like" is your honest inclination, how does one come up with the juicy tidbit that your partner would rather hear?

I am sorry but it seems to me that you are advocating lying to your partner. even if it good inttentioned.

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Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.
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RE: "...I like what You like..." - 8/8/2009 7:50:12 PM

sweetsub1957

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Joined: 4/28/2009
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Sir wants 100% honesty from me, no matter what He's asking, all the time, no matter what, and that's what I tell Him.....100% honesty all the time. I couldn't live with myself if I did anything less than that.

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Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

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RE: "...I like what You like..." - 8/8/2009 8:21:50 PM

KCalli

Posts: 81
Joined: 8/4/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: masteredwin

As a domme I think the question "what do you like?" is not the right way to ask.
Obviously I do expect a sub/slave to have some idea what she likes or dislikes.

I do however ask her if she likes specific things, like being tied up, or being spanked.
Better yes, I have her rate those on a scale from 1 to 10.
Another approach is to have her describe some of her fantasies to me, with details.
I also have her describe what some specific thing looks like, if it is to be played out.

All of this allows me to discover what she likes, rather then having her explain it to me.
Further more I always ask her the things she does not like, and what her limits are.

Now as for the "I like whatever you like" mindset.
If she indentifies as a sub, I play out something that is to both our liking, but I control the action.
If she identifies as a slave I do whatever feels right to me, assuming only it does not violate her limits.
And I do like being a bit sadistical.

The question "what do you like?" puts the sub in control.
As a domme the burden of knowing is on me, not on her.

As a domme its is better fo find out what you like yourself, and then let her respond to that.
And if a sub/slave has a specific fantasy, I may play it out with her, but she should know there will be a twist somewhere.

I do wholeheartedly agree with you, Sir. I am amazed constantly, and consistently by what my Master has discovered about myself. I remark many times at how he knows my needs better than myself. I believe it comes from things such as you have described. He has never asked me what I liked unless it is a particular detail. I also know that there are things that I can say that "makes him strut like a banty rooster". Things that reinforce the role he has in this relationship. Even though I know his preferences, I will specifically turn to him and ask him to tell me what he prefers for me to wear, or how he wants my hair, makeup, or whatever to be like.

Of course, my pleasure is submitting to him, although it is unstated. He knows this.

(in reply to masteredwin)

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RE: "...I like what You like..." - 8/8/2009 9:08:20 PM

VanIsleKnight

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When asked what I like, I tend to be really reserved at first. Sexual intimacy is pretty, well. Intimate. It can be a little scary to trust someone with your deepest, darkest sexual secrets. Personally I feel a little geeky with some of the things that I like, others a little ashamed.

It can be difficult to get through that at first, but I do try to brave myself through it. :)

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