MsStarlett
Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007 Status: offline
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It IS a cop out if it ends the relationship. Like so many other things, it's something that two people need to work out between themselves. As is the "I don't want to ruin our friendship with sex." I have several friends that I have those feelings for. One that I actually HAVE had sex with for many years, but he and I have never had a 'relationship'. We always laugh that the only reason that we still like each other is the fact that we've have always 'loved' each other, but never been 'in love' with each other. That 'I can't hurt you' feeling very well might have been the 'beginning of the end' with me and Westie. I did get to the point that I just didn't want to beat him anymore. He was very into puppy play, but I'm not talking about that. Honestly? Who could look at a real, furry baby animal with those sweet round baby eyes and kick or hit it? Same thing happened with my West. He has these very beautiful, soulful eyes and when he turned them on me, I would just melt and want to hold him in my lap and scratch his ears. He told me that he enjoyed it when I was 'nice' to him. However, for our last session, he purchased a hood, told me that he wanted 'more bondage-y' things and that he wanted me to make him cry out. Ok. The hood worked GREAT! When I couldn't SEE those eyes, they didn't distract me and I managed to get him to call a safe word for the first time, and he did so twice. He was rewarded with Rimba time. I thought I was giving him what he wanted and needed... but he never returned. I can only assume that he was exploring what he thought he wanted and needed with me and he is now doing that with someone else his own age who is a potential life partner. While the majority of people here tend to agree that sub's Job is to do what his or her Dominant wants or leave... I truely believe in a more 'two way street' view with an open line of communication. Doms are not mind readers. If a sub is NOT getting what they want out of their relationship, they need to say so! Specifically. Life and relationships are all about compromise.
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It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion. It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed, the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning, It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
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