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sex and the submissive - 7/15/2009 10:13:01 AM

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Do you like your submissive to be passive during sex?
or do you prefer her to show some assertion, even sexual aggression in the bedroom?
Would you deem it un-sublike for a woman to show sexual aggression?

I think I am often fairly aggressive during sex but that doesn't mean I don't feel any less submissive. It just makes loosing so sweet!

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RE: sex and the submissive - 7/15/2009 10:29:01 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz

Do you like your submissive to be passive during sex?

I prefer her to not feel the need to be inhibited, but I also prefer her to do as she's told.

quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz

or do you prefer her to show some assertion, even sexual aggression in the bedroom?

Well...kinda, yes. As in...I like seeing some indication (maybe even a lot of indication) that the prospect of sexual interaction with me is a rather motivating turn on her for. And I like being surprised sometimes.

quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz

Would you deem it un-sublike for a woman to show sexual aggression?

I think submissive women can thoroughly enjoy sex as much as anyone else. Making that known with cute hints or trying to outright pounce her Dom(me) seems perfectly fine to me. It's not as if I still don't hold the reins if she does (and, for some reason, if I don't actually think the acts is endearing at the moment).

quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz

I think I am often fairly aggressive during sex but that doesn't mean I don't feel any less submissive. It just makes loosing so sweet!

Ah...well this is a slightly different topic then!

You like physically competitive sexual play with the end-goal of wanting to be submitted.

< Message edited by NihilusZero -- 7/15/2009 10:30:41 AM >

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(in reply to allthatjaz)

RE: sex and the submissive - 7/15/2009 10:30:56 AM

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There's room for all of it, at different times. But I don't view sexual aggression as something that I will 'lose' at. I interpret that to meaning that I am direct about wanting sex and me starting something, not about wrestling. Care to define what you mean by that Maria?

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RE: sex and the submissive - 7/15/2009 11:09:48 AM

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Hello Jaz,

It's impossible for me to be passive during sex... just can't do it.

I'm a biter, a scratcher *sighs* I try not to, but the urge is just too much.

I hope it isn't deemed un-sub like, though I have spoken to some Doms that think it is an opening for a power-struggle. It isn't intended that way in the slightest. I'm not agressive in order to be put back in my place, more that I can't really control myself....

Maybe that's why I want someone else to control me. Hmmm.

I figure if I get too agressive, he can just tie me up and stick a gag in my mouth!

*grins*

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RE: sex and the submissive - 7/15/2009 11:50:04 AM

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As a Mistress I prefer aggressive subs in the sack. Frankly anything to flowery turns me off entirely. Give me a biter, clawer, hair puller anytime (and I always give back as good as I get).

~Lashra

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RE: sex and the submissive - 7/15/2009 12:00:24 PM

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Passivity is no fun. They make blow-up dolls for that.

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RE: sex and the submissive - 7/15/2009 1:39:02 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

There's room for all of it, at different times. But I don't view sexual aggression as something that I will 'lose' at. I interpret that to meaning that I am direct about wanting sex and me starting something, not about wrestling. Care to define what you mean by that Maria?

Believe me, this is not a continual need (sexual aggression that is). Sometimes it may be pushing all his buttons to overpower me and at other times its just a wild hunger. Mad as this may sound, Steve and me have been known to growl at each other when we really get going.

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RE: sex and the submissive - 7/15/2009 1:42:42 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lashra

As a Mistress I prefer aggressive subs in the sack. Frankly anything to flowery turns me off entirely. Give me a biter, clawer, hair puller anytime (and I always give back as good as I get).

~Lashra

Lashra this really put a big smile on my face. I will admire your words forevermore.

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RE: sex and the submissive - 7/15/2009 2:03:56 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

or do you prefer her to show some assertion, even sexual aggression in the bedroom?

Well...kinda, yes. As in...I like seeing some indication (maybe even a lot of indication) that the prospect of sexual interaction with me is a rather motivating turn on her for. And I like being surprised sometimes.

Ah now the surprise goes back to her assertion (be it still submissive) for sexual gratification, her hunger for you and her imagination.
We went to a munch last night and got onto the subject of sexual assertion and most of the Dominants gave the impression that this was not something they ever required in a submissive. Mind you, they were a bunch of leather clad under confident men that could hardly walk because they had so many tawses and floggers hanging from there belts

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RE: sex and the submissive - 7/15/2009 2:20:01 PM

dreamerdreaming

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quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz

Do you like your submissive to be passive during sex?

Well alright, I'll be the lone vote for passive.

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RE: sex and the submissive - 7/15/2009 3:04:56 PM

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Coming from a sub

Does one have to be either passive or agressive? I like to think I'm both, depending on him, the mood, what he wants, the situation, etc. I think there are certain times that neither one of us would get any satisfaction if I were not to be "agressive or assertive". But I don't think that undermines or takes away my "submissiveness" at all.

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RE: sex and the submissive - 7/15/2009 3:19:04 PM

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The Man doesn't require it in me. But he's hardly underconfident or insecure.

He certainly enjoys it if I feel secure enough to try to start something but he's just as happy if I hint indirectly or simply respond overwhelmingly after he starts it.

If it was something he required in a sub, he would have to be with someone else because I have problems with rejection, especially being rejected sexually. So there is no way I can be required to do so. If we only had sex when I started it, it would probably be less than twice a year.

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RE: sex and the submissive - 7/15/2009 4:13:03 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

If it was something he required in a sub, he would have to be with someone else because I have problems with rejection, especially being rejected sexually. So there is no way I can be required to do so. If we only had sex when I started it, it would probably be less than twice a year.

me too, yet I know pretty much every time we have a chance to be alone together, we're going to be having some form of sexual interaction. in a way, I've come to expect it, so I make sure I'm prepared. I guess because we've been together long enough I know how it goes between us. so fortunately I'm not put into a situation where I would "need" to be the initiator.

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RE: sex and the submissive - 7/15/2009 4:52:19 PM

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While I'm not passive during sex, I'm not aggressive either. I have a feeling it wouldn't go over well in our relationship.

What matters to him is that I obey and I am pleasing.

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RE: sex and the submissive - 7/15/2009 5:29:49 PM

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I like chocolate... no wait! Vanilla! no... double fudge with cookie dough...

*laughs* Sometimes carol goes all passive/submissive on me and it's endearing. Other times she tears my clothes off and pushes me down on the nearest horizontal service and it's endearing. I like variety.

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(in reply to allthatjaz)

RE: sex and the submissive - 7/15/2009 6:15:42 PM

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It took me a long time to realize submissive did not equal passive.

Although I can be passive when required, it is normally no a natural component of my personality.

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RE: sex and the submissive - 7/15/2009 6:24:25 PM

LovingMistress45

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I don't like for the sub to be passive during sex. I don't want him/her to wait for instructions, I like initiative. I am a sexual masochist and I enjoy a sub that can give me those sensations, I particular love to be bitten, I like my hair pulled, and other things. Like Lashra I give back as good as I get. It doesn't mean they have to be the one to initiate sex, but I want full enthusiastic responses. If I want him/her to just lay there and be passive while I take my pleasure using them I will tell them. Any that are with me really don't have to worry about rejection of advances because unless I am ill there is no chance I won't be receptive.

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RE: sex and the submissive - 7/15/2009 6:29:14 PM

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I think if you're in a beautiful relationship in which a sub is ur partner. Who cares? I don't mean this in a bad way. I mean it as- there's to much thinking about sex- when sex should be all about pleasure and emotions. Enjoy!

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RE: sex and the submissive - 7/15/2009 6:45:25 PM

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Even though my sub is male, I don't prefer him to do anything but to respond naturally.

Mike

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RE: sex and the submissive - 7/15/2009 9:04:43 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz

Do you like your submissive to be passive during sex?
or do you prefer her to show some assertion, even sexual aggression in the bedroom?
Sir doesn't read the message boards, but He likes when I give Him little clues and sometimes even make advances. He will let me know if He's not interested, but usually He is.
Would you deem it un-sublike for a woman to show sexual aggression?
Neither He nor I think it's un-sublike to show sexual agression. He loves when I'm noisy and when I get into returning His "movements" and so on. He says He doesn't want to be "doing it" with someone who acts like they're dead. Plus, I couldn't act like that if my life depended on it!
I think I am often fairly aggressive during sex but that doesn't mean I don't feel any less submissive. It just makes loosing so sweet!
I don't feel any less submissive either, plus He loves it.

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