submissive support group (Full Version)

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hallieB -> submissive support group (7/19/2009 7:45:04 PM)

Hello E/everyone. i am in search of a submissive support group. Or atleast thats what i think it would be called. i am in a long distance relationship with my Master, i only get to see Him on the weekends, when i am there with Him everything is perfect but when i come home i seem to have a few problems. Master and i have discussed this and He thinks i am surrounded to much by vanilla and i need to surround myself more with true subs and things pertaining to the M/s lifestyle. Women who know their place and know what it means to serve a Master or Dom.
i am looking to improve myself through discussion and honest comunication. i am asking if anyone knows of such a group, i would love to find a group that meets locally but would accept an on-line group at this time. (i am from Columbia SC) thanks in advance for your time and any help you might have to offer.



LadyPact -> RE: submissive support group (7/19/2009 7:59:09 PM)

I just left the area close to Columbia, SC.  There is a wonderful group there called T3WD.  (It stand for Those Things That We Do.)  I believe they do have a submissive sig (special interest group).  Contact them.  There are wonderful people there.


Best Wishes.


LP



peppermint -> RE: submissive support group (7/19/2009 8:08:11 PM)

Here is a link to groups in your state.

http://www.drkdesyre.com/meetppl/orgs/orgssouth.html#SC

I do wish I could understand what your Master means by "Women who know their place and know what it means to serve a Master or Dom."  He must realize that my relationship with my partner is nothing like your relationship with him as we are all totally different people with completely different needs, wants, and desires.  He is also forgetting those Dominant women who are served by submissive men in what he says. 

Anyway, I do nope that link helps you find the group you are seeking. 







hallieB -> RE: submissive support group (7/19/2009 9:15:50 PM)

Thank you LadyPact and peppermint for your help. peppermint, i hope i am not wording something incorrectly, as Masters sub i have agreed to obey his every command, i am allowed to express my concerns and desires and He takes them all into consideration and makes decission that are in my best interest. i should follow his commands without question. Here at home i spend alot of time alone and when my vanilla girl friends call ready to go out on the town or a weekend getaway i am ready to go with them. Old habits are hard to break. Usually He does not allow me to go with them for good reason. And after the fact i know it was the right thing but that does not stop me from wanting to go and being a bit of a brat and sometimes down right disrespectful to get my way. i think He would like for me to have friends that would support me in doing what pleases Him and keep our relationship strong, positive influences, not encourage me to do what ever i want and not worry about the concequences. And by no way am i blaming my vanilla friends because in the end i know the choice to obey is mine. i have made progress and i will not give up.



sweetsub1957 -> RE: submissive support group (7/19/2009 9:21:21 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: peppermint

Here is a link to groups in your state.

http://www.drkdesyre.com/meetppl/orgs/orgssouth.html#SC

I do wish I could understand what your Master means by "Women who know their place and know what it means to serve a Master or Dom."  He must realize that my relationship with my partner is nothing like your relationship with him as we are all totally different people with completely different needs, wants, and desires.  He is also forgetting those Dominant women who are served by submissive men in what he says. 

Anyway, I do nope that link helps you find the group you are seeking. 



Absolutely!!  ~waves at peppermint~



peppermint -> RE: submissive support group (7/19/2009 9:39:57 PM)

I'm not sure if you are wording something contrary to your Master's words or not.  I'm just saying that there is no universal mind set that fits ALL submissives or slaves. 

To tell you very truthfully the words "Women who know their place" just rub me wrong.  Kinda reminds me of the old saying of keeping a woman barefoot and pregnant or the one about a woman's place being in the home.  These are generalized comments that do not fit all women although the original writer most likely believed the comments did refer to all women. 

If you are having problems turning down your friends when they ask you to go out, then I suggest you and your Master discuss the situation and try to figure out why it is so difficult for you to say "no"  and mean it.   If your friends don't accept your "no" readily then perhaps it's the way you are saying "no."   It would seem that you would have the same difficulty with submissive friends from a support group. 



peppermint -> RE: submissive support group (7/19/2009 9:41:49 PM)

quote:

Absolutely!! ~waves at peppermint~


~waves back~ 



hallieB -> RE: submissive support group (7/19/2009 11:21:45 PM)

peppermint, when i read your comments in your last paragraph it almost angered me, but after studying what you said and thinking about it for a while i should thank you. Maybe this is what Master is wanting me to get from other submissives. Submissives who lead by example. Yes, i do agree with you, it is my problem...... i do need to say a firm NO! i do need to start standing up for myself and the life i have chosen to live. To be proud of who i am and who i represent. Thank you again for your honest comments.



peppermint -> RE: submissive support group (7/19/2009 11:22:05 PM)

I tried to edit my post but my computer speed was just too slow and it just wouldn't happen.  So, I'm adding it here.

There is no forumla that will instantly make something you find difficult (obeying your Master) suddenly and magically easy.  We all have our own problems on which we constantly work.  At a submissive group you will most likely find others that have similar difficulties.  That is because we are all human.  We all have our own flaws as well as talents.  Good luck in facing your own difficulties and figuring out a way to combat them. 



peppermint -> RE: submissive support group (7/19/2009 11:25:24 PM)

You are welcome.  I wish I could have prevented you the anger in the first place.  I did try to add to my post but after countless times it just wasnt' happening.  I wanted to make sure you understood what I was trying to say.  While you were writing your last post I was finally able to get my edit off. 

Again...good luck. 



hallieB -> RE: submissive support group (7/19/2009 11:58:30 PM)

thank you again, good nite.



OsideGirl -> RE: submissive support group (7/20/2009 7:55:58 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: peppermint
To tell you very truthfully the words "Women who know their place" just rub me wrong. 
  It rubbed me wrong, as well.

So did:

quote:

i need to surround myself more with true subs
There's no such thing as a "true" sub. What's true for me, may not be what's true for you. There's someone out there that is in a happy, successful D/s relationship that your Master doesn't consider "true". I would suggest losing that word when it comes to describing D or s types.

In our area, there are many, many discussion groups representing just about every perspective you can think of. There may be something similar in your area.



RumpusParable -> RE: submissive support group (7/20/2009 8:19:10 AM)

Also, OP, keep in mind that in a support group filled with subs there will likely be a few who, on hitting it off with you, may invite you out just like your vanilla friends do.  Not all D/s relationships limit this in the sub, so you'll likely run into the exact same situation:  one where, to respect the rules of *your* relationship, you'll need to still be comfortable with firm and polite "no"s.

And, a submissive support group is just as likely to have a bunch of males present... it's not going to necessarily be a group of females who "know their place" -and the females there are all going to have very different views on what their place is, if any special one.



DesFIP -> RE: submissive support group (7/20/2009 8:35:36 AM)

So in effect you aren't allowed to see your old friends? Or is it just specific things you can't do?
Because I'm not sure what harm could come by going to a movie with people who have been there for you for years.

Now if you folks are drinking heavily and then driving, that's a realistic worry. But cutting off all your friends simply because they're vanilla strikes warning bells here.

As far as meeting other subs in your area, why not use the search feature? Make arrangements to meet them the first time at an existing munch. Or for brunch on a weekend.



lronitulstahp -> RE: submissive support group (7/20/2009 8:42:27 AM)

*thinks about the men and women in my submissive safe space meeting....maybe one or two "twue" submissives in the whole damn place*

OP, you will find that many s/types have opinions and personalities that may not meet any pre-conceived notion of what "true" submission is.Some of the most outspoken, no-nonsense and wonderfully sarcastic  women i know are s/types. Start hanging around with more subs...your Master may regret ever making that suggestion lol.



Mercnbeth -> RE: submissive support group (7/20/2009 8:51:13 AM)

this group:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/TripleSGroup

is online and also meets in person once a month in Long Beach, California.  the hostess, jazzy, is absolutely wonderful!!!



peppermint -> RE: submissive support group (7/20/2009 10:40:47 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

So in effect you aren't allowed to see your old friends? Or is it just specific things you can't do?
Because I'm not sure what harm could come by going to a movie with people who have been there for you for years.




She said there was a good reason for not being allowed to hang out with her friends as she had done in the past.  I took that to mean he is not trying to isolate her from her past, but there are times when she makes poor choices while with her friends. 



HuskerDu -> RE: submissive support group (7/20/2009 4:02:33 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: hallieB

Hello E/everyone. i am in search of a submissive support group. Or atleast thats what i think it would be called. i am in a long distance relationship with my Master, i only get to see Him on the weekends, when i am there with Him everything is perfect but when i come home i seem to have a few problems. Master and i have discussed this and He thinks i am surrounded to much by vanilla and i need to surround myself more with true subs and things pertaining to the M/s lifestyle. Women who know their place and know what it means to serve a Master or Dom.
i am looking to improve myself through discussion and honest comunication. i am asking if anyone knows of such a group, i would love to find a group that meets locally but would accept an on-line group at this time. (i am from Columbia SC) thanks in advance for your time and any help you might have to offer.


I also want to suggest you seek out T3WD.  They are an excellent group (even though I never did end up joining them when I was in Columbia - just moved from there as well, myself).  Good luck, hallieB.



leakylee -> RE: submissive support group (7/20/2009 7:28:13 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: lronitulstahp

*thinks about the men and women in my submissive safe space meeting....maybe one or two "twue" submissives in the whole damn place*

OP, you will find that many s/types have opinions and personalities that may not meet any pre-conceived notion of what "true" submission is.Some of the most outspoken, no-nonsense and wonderfully sarcastic  women i know are s/types. Start hanging around with more subs...your Master may regret ever making that suggestion lol.


hehe.. now knowing the same members that you do darlin. i can back up how many are twue submissives. most of us are pretty scary on one level or another, but then alot of the women in Orlando are pretty outspoken.

in my personal opinion, it takes a pretty good deal of strength "to know you place", i hope that refers to your personal dynamic. you should find that getting to be friends with your submissives enriches your life in ways you never dreamed. i know i am damn lucky.

smooches
lee



hallieB -> RE: submissive support group (7/20/2009 9:08:12 PM)

thanks to everyone for being so helpful and understanding. i didnt mean to label or judge anyone as being true or not, that was a bad choice of words on my part(still learning). i think my Master is concerned with me making bad choices when i am with my vanilla friends. i think their character and what they represent worries Him and jeopardizes my safety. i am sure He is looking out for my best interest. And to be honest i dont miss some of the things my friends and i did before He came into my life. My life was empty before Him.
I think my problem comes about when i start to miss Him and i cant be with Him. It hurts and i hate feeling that way... its childish, but i change into a different person. Its like heaven and hell, good and evil. i know this is my demon, one that i will have to conquer. i will keep reading and working on improving my flaws. With His guidance i will find my way. Thanks again to everyone. Sorry i got off topic.....



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