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I WANT TO KNOW ...... - 2/20/2006 10:48:42 AM

2BeMarriedNOwned

Posts: 12
Joined: 3/21/2005
Status: offline

I want to know why so many male slaves and so many male subs and female slaves and subs are ignored, or hurt by harsh turn downs by Masteres Mistresses and Domm'es? I also want to know why some of us do not even get a chance to have a Mistress or a Master. I am not talking about rude or impolite slaves or subs. I am talking about the ones who come here for real life and real time and carry their hearts on there sleeves to give to a Mistress or a Master and they are shunned or not even spoken to, and totally ignored. It is not like the BDSM community to be that way. This is our home also, our saftey and acceptacnce. We want at least the chance to communicate and be heard. My Master once told me that, without slaves and subs the Mistreses and Masteres would be out of work. I believe that.

RE: I WANT TO KNOW ...... - 2/20/2006 10:57:54 AM

Posts: 2918
Status: offline

All Masters and Mistresses have the choice to communicate with who they desire to or not communicate with who they dont desire to.

As far as a Master of Mistress harshly turning down someone, I guess thats their choice too, and comes down to personality and social skills.

(in reply to 2BeMarriedNOwned)

RE: I WANT TO KNOW ...... - 2/20/2006 11:03:45 AM

Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

Please explain how and why you feel ignored and hurt. What do you mean when you say "do not even get a chance to have a Mistress or Master"? You say you aren't talking about rude or impolite, what is your definition of rude or impolite when it comes to speaking to a potential Mistress or Master? The title of this thread being in all caps as if you are yelling and demanding certainly doesn't fit polite for me.

If you are asking why your unsolicited emails go ignored...there are many threads here for that, just pick one.

_____________________________

Tress

"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother

(in reply to 2BeMarriedNOwned)

RE: I WANT TO KNOW ...... - 2/20/2006 11:18:10 AM

Posts: 8
Joined: 8/20/2005
Status: offline

Well, finding a Mistress or Master that is right for you is just as hard as finding a great submissive is hard for Them. I also try to write a bit more in my emails to try and stand out from all the fakes and horny subs out there.
You just have to remember to be patient and things should work out just fine. My last Domme i didnt even meet here and had no idea about her fetishes were until after we had gone out for a couple of dates. Domme girls are hidden everywhere...you just need some luck and to be sociable.
Just stay calm, true to yourself and keep up your self confidance. Being submissive doesnt mean that you have to undervalue how important you are.
I wish you the best of luck

(in reply to yourMissTress)

RE: I WANT TO KNOW ...... - 2/20/2006 11:18:46 AM

FelinePersuasion

Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline

bdsm "comunities" can be clickier and excluisive just like real life clubs and "comunities" more so sometimes. just because it's bdsm won't make it any less exclusive or clicky, or in some cases down right snob head up ass ish.

(in reply to 2BeMarriedNOwned)

RE: I WANT TO KNOW ...... - 2/20/2006 11:32:43 AM

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

If they come in with the attitude that you have just shown in your very first post then it would be little wonder they get shunned or ignored.

Back up, take a deep breath, realise no-one has a right to anothers attention and that it must be EARNED by the right approach (And that applys as much to Dom/mes as it does to subs!).... then start again and try to repair the damage you just did yourself with such a dire first impression!

Have a read through the forums and you might notice that polite new people asking sensible questions 99% of the time get a helpful and friendly responce here.

(in reply to 2BeMarriedNOwned)

RE: I WANT TO KNOW ...... - 2/20/2006 11:47:05 AM

2BeMarriedNOwned

Posts: 12
Joined: 3/21/2005
Status: offline

I will review the posts that I have recieved. I assure anyone who is reading this that I am and have been manerly and calm. I also did not consider the caps thing here on the message board. Im sorry for that. I just know that I get tired and discouraged. I guess sometimes I don't know what to say. sometimes i say tooooo much and other times I don't say enough. I do know this. I am real, sincere, and I would work my slave heart to a frazel for the "one". I also want to share that sometimes when you use a computer to write, the writting doesen't convey who you are and what you are all about. i made an assuption that people where here to meet people. sometimes I get these answers that just say.. we are not compatable. and that is after one comunication. I often wonder how do they know that without giving someone a chance to get to know one another. Thank you for the replies and the encouragement and the direction. I need direction every so often... wellll....errr... most of the time..... thanxs 2BeMarriedNOwned

(in reply to RavenMuse)

RE: I WANT TO KNOW ...... - 2/20/2006 11:49:54 AM

2BeMarriedNOwned

Posts: 12
Joined: 3/21/2005
Status: offline

I stand corected in all that you have said. I am sorry for the caps. I wish you the best. 2BeMariedNOwned

(in reply to yourMissTress)

RE: I WANT TO KNOW ...... - 2/20/2006 11:53:32 AM

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

That was a little better.

Firstly not everyone here is looking, a good number are only here for the forums.

Secondly, a lot of the people looking won't be looking for you. That isn't personal, that applies to everyone. Out of the 'first contact' mails I've sent out I have recieved a scant handful of replies. That is simply the reality of the situation and no amount of complaining will change that.

However, whilst you search there are always the forums with advice, information and fun. Learn-whilst-you-wait. I recomend it.

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to 2BeMarriedNOwned)

RE: I WANT TO KNOW ...... - 2/20/2006 11:53:52 AM

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

sometimes I get these answers that just say.. we are not compatable. and that is after one comunication. I often wonder how do they know that without giving someone a chance to get to know one another.

If a dominant has told you that you are not compatiable then you are not, regardless of their reason and quite often it only takes one email. You have put into your profile that you want to be married and that you are castrated and those two items alone severly narrow your pool of choices. If you write to someone who has no desire to get married, than a single email and a glance at your profile is going to tell that dominant that you are, indeed, not right for each other. Just move on when you get an email telling you that you're not going to be considered. You've got a bar which is quite high, so don't be surprised if it takes a very long time to find someone who will mesh with you.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to 2BeMarriedNOwned)

RE: I WANT TO KNOW ...... - 2/20/2006 11:57:51 AM

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

No offense meant to his board or to any of us on here but really I think offline munches, events, conventions, clubs, etc are a much better way to meet partners.

Online I am much more picky about talking to people in terms of potential submissives or slaves -- I have to be because I can't see and hear them interact, I can't read their body language.

To rely on the internet as the way to find partners is not the best approach in my opinion.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to 2BeMarriedNOwned)

RE: I WANT TO KNOW ...... - 2/20/2006 12:19:38 PM

Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

First of all, I am not exactly sure what you are asking/ranting about--you indicate your "Master" yet your profile indicates being owned by a Mistress--so confused here--but...if you are pleading the case for subs etc., well yes we have been though this alot and there are lots of threads with great insight--if this is for you, well after reading your profile---you have some very specific requirements and needs which may be limiting in itself--food for thought, that does not preclude common courtesy, but people are what they are--and some of us look a lifetime to find the one.

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor

(in reply to 2BeMarriedNOwned)

RE: I WANT TO KNOW ......Getting an education - 2/20/2006 1:11:43 PM

2BeMarriedNOwned

Posts: 12
Joined: 3/21/2005
Status: offline

I really really didn't want to upset anyone. Whoops. I guess i did. i am sorry for al that, and inspite of that i am getting an education about my profile, how it is written, my attitude and all, and the fact that people will be people bdsm or not. I also want all to know that I do go to functiuons in the community and I have had some relationships with some Mistresses, however, they have been short lived as most wanted a few slaves. I have changed my profile settings to seeking a Mistres or a Dominant Female. I do best one on one. I also underatand my handle and how some people might look at it and dismiss me for i say i want to be married. I guess owned would be good enough. I also want to thank all of you that want to advise and help me. Kinda resotres the faith. I think and feel deeply that BDSM is the best group of people in the world. I have been attracted to bdsm since I was 15 years old. I also want to mention my ad in reference to being a Euncuh. Some think it sick, others have no opinion and others think it was it is wonderful. I list it because thats something that I think all should know going in. The fact is, my wife died of cancer some 7 years ago. She was my owner, my lover, my friend, and my Mistress. I was her's since I was 15 years old. she was a daughter of a Domm'e. My owner-wife-Mistress asked me for my testicles before she died. She was dying of cancer. I obeyed her wishes. I loved her and will alwys love her. it was my duty to obey her and I did. She was burried with my testicles in a jar in her hands. It will be that way for eternity. (Im crying now) To me and her it was part of our love story, nothing more and nothing less. When you have a love like that, there wasen't much I would not do for her. I LOVED HER! I OBEYD HER! I think that is what a slave is supposed to do. Again I want to thank all of you who have answered and helped. I am glad that i came to this forum. Be well all of you! 2beMarriedNowned

(in reply to slavejali)

RE: I WANT TO KNOW ......Getting an education - 2/20/2006 1:35:40 PM

Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

You upset no one here, I can assure you, was are a tough lot--and very opinionated--welcome to the boards and keep posting!

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor

(in reply to 2BeMarriedNOwned)

RE: I WANT TO KNOW ......Getting an education - 2/20/2006 3:58:15 PM

openmindedslave

Posts: 470
Joined: 2/27/2005
Status: offline

In many ways you need to share your life experiences in the sucess forum instead of here. You have a caring and warm story to share with others.

In response to your dealing with finding a Mistress. sad to say( this is not with all here ) but some of the same items people in the vanilla lifestyle are looking for , can also be seen here...For example, location..Many profiles /journal entrys clearly state they want some one local. Past that , "first impressions" . Visually , people will decide on whether they want to be involved with you . Some will seek younger .Some will want you to be a certain race. Some Doms do not want experienced for fear that you may be more advanced than they are seeking to play with ...Some clearly are looking for some sexual contact while others just your submission...My point is, do not be discouraged in your search. As a slave/sub, understand that there are so many out here and so few doms to go around , that can have their pick of those who contact them. In fact , I will tell you some of the profiles are not updated as often as they should. Meaning , the Mistress that your interested in may already have her slave and is just here to keep friendships going and answer forums...Good luck on your search

(in reply to MHOO314)

RE: I WANT TO KNOW ......Getting an education - 2/20/2006 4:05:59 PM

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

When you have a love like that, there wasen't much I would not do for her. I LOVED HER! I OBEYD HER! I think that is what a slave is supposed to do.

This is beautiful and touching and I do hope that you find what you seek in life.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to 2BeMarriedNOwned)

RE: I WANT TO KNOW ...... - 2/20/2006 8:23:07 PM

MistressLorelei

Posts: 997
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline

This is My first post on the boards.. so if I screw up the format, be nice.

My comment to 2BeMarried is.... Sometimes many e-mails come in to Dommes/Doms, and if too much time is spent responding to e-mails from submissives, that takes time away from addressing e-mails where there is a potential match. In theory, it's nice to say "No thanks", but sometimes that just drags things out, taking yet more time.

On the other hand, if a Domme receives a polite/friendly e-mail, and decides to answer it, there is no need to be rude. I think many (not most, but many) Doms (and especially Dommes) think that being Dominant means being rude- even initially.

Respect should come from both sides... I want to be respected on My own merit, not just on the merit that I checked the 'Dominant' box when I joined this site.

(in reply to 2BeMarriedNOwned)

RE: I WANT TO KNOW ...... - 2/20/2006 8:37:01 PM

Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

Welcome to the boards!

Fabulous first post, I agree.

_____________________________

Tress

"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother

(in reply to MistressLorelei)

RE: I WANT TO KNOW ...... - 2/20/2006 8:58:56 PM

Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: 2BeMarriedNOwned

I just know that I get tired and discouraged. I guess sometimes I don't know what to say.

I have to say that you are far from the only one to feel this way - Dom/mes feel that way too, sometimes. Keep that in mind while you are searching.

Also keep in mind (as pointed out in multiple other threads), that the more criteria you add, the more difficult your search. As blackpearl81 stated in another thread on this exact same topic:

"Its pretty easy to find a honda
It would be a little bit difficult to find a blue honda
It would be a little bit more difficult to find a blue honda, with less than 50k miles on it..
It may be extremely difficult to find a blue honda, with less than 50k miles on it, with power windows, power steering, with a standard transmission, and a turbo charger.. "

When you are looking for someone, it's easy to find someone ... but when you want that person to be a Dominant personality, that person is harder to find. Someone who wants to live the lifestyle 24/7 is even harder. Someone who has similar kinks to your is even harder. And if, by chance, you ever give the impression that you AREN'T being picky, then you turn off potential Dominants, who want to be treated as if they are special.

Our first boy looked for over 10 years before finding us. We just happened to be lucky that we had only been looking for about 2 years when he came along ... and we know how lucky we were (and still are). It takes time and patience and determination.

(in reply to 2BeMarriedNOwned)

RE: I WANT TO KNOW ...... - 2/20/2006 9:15:49 PM

Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline

Quite simply, it is a matter of preference.

I find most submissives or (even worse) self-styled "slaves" are not completely forthright in their own portrayal. Some turn out to be very efficient time wasters.

We get tired of it, and hone our preference of exactly what we seek with sometimes more than a little vexation. We all have our ideals; it is rare we find them, too.

(in reply to 2BeMarriedNOwned)

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