Questions questions questions

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

Questions questions questions

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> Questions questions questions

Page: [1]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Questions questions questions - 2/21/2006 7:59:31 AM

2BeMarriedNOwned

Posts: 12
Joined: 3/21/2005
Status: offline

Hi again: With all the encouragement that I have recieved I wanted to ask another question. The question goes like this: Does a Mistress want to "break a slave? or do they want to have the slave so willing when they come to them that they do not need breaking? After all the time I have not been owned or in a relationship, I would need some re-training and possibly a bit of breaking again. thank you, 2BeMarriedNowned

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: Questions questions questions - 2/21/2006 8:11:27 AM

Isara

Posts: 87
Joined: 2/4/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: 2BeMarriedNOwned

Hi again: With all the encouragement that I have recieved I wanted to ask another question. The question goes like this: Does a Mistress want to "break a slave? or do they want to have the slave so willing when they come to them that they do not need breaking? After all the time I have not been owned or in a relationship, I would need some re-training and possibly a bit of breaking again. thank you, 2BeMarriedNowned

Hello hello :) Welcome to the boards, speaking for myself? I don't like the idea of "breaking" someone, it might come from my experiences with youth justice, or from dealing with drug addicts and alcoholics and their experiences in legal and social situations. For me? It's about submission, I seek someone to submit to me, not to give up their free thought, what I find arousing/great/wonderful and all that, is the fact that intelligent, strong people give up the control to me.

I'm not looking for someone to be a doormat, I'm not looking for someone who can't think for themself, or who doesn't have any desire to grow and what have you. It's a power trip for me to see someone, who, in their every-day 'vanilla' life is a person who can think for themself, act rationally, make decisions at work? Who still submits to me.

Training? Of course, I'm all for it, and I do have expectations about how things should be done, but I see the two things as being different ends of the spectrum.

Regards.

Isara.

_____________________________

"I can't -- not just like that. I'm a complicated person, you see, Aunty... Sometimes I'm nice, and sometimes I'm nasty -- hee hee!...and sometimes I just like to sing little songs, like: "See the little goblin, see his little-- " Edmond Blackadder

(in reply to 2BeMarriedNOwned)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: Questions questions questions - 2/21/2006 8:50:18 AM

MistressFire70

Posts: 378
Joined: 7/25/2004
From: North Carolina
Status: offline

For me, I only want to take what is freely given. If what you have or wish to give doesn't what I'm expecting or wanting in a relationship, then we're not a match.

Good opinion question.

Fire

_____________________________

you have come to a great chasm. Jump. It's not as wide as you think.

(in reply to 2BeMarriedNOwned)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: Questions questions questions - 2/21/2006 9:12:54 AM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

OK I'm a Master not a Mistress but it is just as applicable.

Personaly I am not looking for someone I need to break, shape a bit sure, build on definatly but who they already are is what is going to catch my interest in the first place.

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to MistressFire70)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: Questions questions questions - 2/21/2006 9:21:39 AM

MsPurrmeow

Posts: 261
Joined: 10/30/2004
Status: offline

Once a thing is broken, it is no longer useful. At times the "breaking" I believe may come from the playtime activities where a flogging and sharing of pain/energy can break through some barriers in emotions and communications.

When I meet someone and we venture on a path of D/s or M/s there is most certainly a comfort point where there is a "breakthrough". Where both people get through all of the pretense and all of things that had been running through their heads and start to speak from the heart. That point where both people start to breathe easier and realize that they went off-script and are being candid and open. Sometimes this is in the first meeting, but I know people who are together years before it actually happens. So, yes, I want to see a breakthrough in a slave, but not to break THEM. The breakthrough may come through play, or it may come through heavy doses of reality and lots of communication.

I have a basic sense that those that label themselves Doms/Tops/etc, here that rave on about breaking someone are the ones focused specifically on play style, and are not seeking a long-term relationship in power exchange or ownership. Once a thing is broken, it's time to pack up and go home.

(in reply to 2BeMarriedNOwned)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: Questions questions questions - 2/21/2006 9:24:06 AM

MHOO314

Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: 2BeMarriedNOwned

Hi again: With all the encouragement that I have recieved I wanted to ask another question. The question goes like this: Does a Mistress want to "break a slave? or do they want to have the slave so willing when they come to them that they do not need breaking? After all the time I have not been owned or in a relationship, I would need some re-training and possibly a bit of breaking again. thank you, 2BeMarriedNowned

I break My horses but the boy-- I harness what is within him, I draw him out, I teach him, I grow him, I enslave him, but never, ever break him.

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor

(in reply to 2BeMarriedNOwned)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: Questions questions questions - 2/21/2006 9:31:04 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: 2BeMarriedNOwned

Hi again: With all the encouragement that I have recieved I wanted to ask another question. The question goes like this: Does a Mistress want to "break a slave? or do they want to have the slave so willing when they come to them that they do not need breaking? After all the time I have not been owned or in a relationship, I would need some re-training and possibly a bit of breaking again. thank you, 2BeMarriedNowned

I would say that before you enter a relationship make sure you wish to serve that particular woman. Take the time to get to know each other and then breaking won't need to happen.

Will you have to be trained in new ways to do things? Perhaps, depends on how close to your former owner a new mistress is but then training I think is a 'sexier' way of saying what is basically teaching and learning. Both of these are done best when the student or slave is willing.

Of course the world has changed it seems from what your former owner-slave-marriage was based on. You know that all ready. Still it is quite possible you will find a woman with a similar view to your dearly departed just don't limit yourself to only those who are seem the same.

Just my advice.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to 2BeMarriedNOwned)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: Questions questions questions - 2/21/2006 10:25:53 AM

Isara

Posts: 87
Joined: 2/4/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsPurrmeow

Once a thing is broken, it is no longer useful. At times the "breaking" I believe may come from the playtime activities where a flogging and sharing of pain/energy can break through some barriers in emotions and communications.

Exactly. ;) You said what I was thinking far more eloquently then I could.

quote:

I have a basic sense that those that label themselves Doms/Tops/etc, here that rave on about breaking someone are the ones focused specifically on play style, and are not seeking a long-term relationship in power exchange or ownership. Once a thing is broken, it's time to pack up and go home.

A sub for me? Is like a beloved pet, now, anyone who knows me knows how spoilt my kitten and puppies are. They're loved and spoilt rotten, and so why would I want a pet of mine to be damaged? I can't see the point in ruining something that brings me a great deal of pleasure-and displeasure when they find Mummy's work shoes and gnaw them to pieces half an hour before her shifts. ;)

It's work having a pet, and I understood that before I began. Maybe not fully? But by god I learnt quickly. ^_^ All that training and stuff.*melodramatic groans* It was hard work. But they're trained now-maybe not the kitty as much as the puppies. But they've learnt how things go in our house for the most part. And all the joy they bring would have been wasted if I'd broken their will.

_____________________________

"I can't -- not just like that. I'm a complicated person, you see, Aunty... Sometimes I'm nice, and sometimes I'm nasty -- hee hee!...and sometimes I just like to sing little songs, like: "See the little goblin, see his little-- " Edmond Blackadder

(in reply to MsPurrmeow)

Profile

Post #: 8

RE: Questions questions questions - 2/21/2006 10:36:33 AM

rwmbk

Posts: 43
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: 2BeMarriedNOwned

The question goes like this: Does a Mistress want to "break a slave? or do they want to have

I think most people mis-understand this. When I read break a slave, I think it refers to breaking when they resist on a particular thing. Not about having a mindless slave, as I doubt and read that no one really seems to want that. I think breaking is the same as finding a trigger that makes them give in. Or at least thats how i perceive it.

(in reply to 2BeMarriedNOwned)

Profile

Post #: 9

RE: Questions questions questions - 2/21/2006 10:48:56 AM

MistressSassy66

Posts: 1675
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline

I hate it when My toys break....

I dont think of it as "breaking" its more like "training sessions".

_____________________________

Mistress Sassy

http://www.mistresssassy.com

In the Immortal Words of Bob....Fuck the dumb shit.

"I love you not only for what you are,But for what I am when I'm with you."- Opening line from a poem by Roy Croft

(in reply to rwmbk)

Profile

Post #: 10

RE: Questions questions questions - 2/21/2006 10:52:34 AM

SweetDommes

Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline

As much as I would like to believe your view is right, rwmbk, if you actually listen to most of the Dominants who talk about "breaking" people ... you aren't. They wish to tear the sub down, turn them into a doormat ... and then usually leave them in a heap for someone else to build back up.

I'm with the others on this one, once something is broken it is useless. Holly and I want our subs to have spirit, personality, and their own free will. The fact that we expect their will to be bent towards serving us doesn't change the fact that we wish them to have it. We are all for pushing limits, expanding boundaries ... but breaking someone isn't our style.

(in reply to rwmbk)

Profile

Post #: 11

RE: Questions questions questions - 2/21/2006 11:02:49 AM

MistressDREAD

Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

"break a slave?

in My world breaking a slave means to no longer have a posession.
bending a slave to Our needs and desires as well as teaching it what
We expect in Our service is more the kind of words I would use.
Every new posession gets polished up and made shinnie to My desire.

< Message edited by ModeratorEleven -- 2/21/2006 12:03:58 PM >

(in reply to 2BeMarriedNOwned)

Profile

Post #: 12

RE: Questions questions questions - 2/21/2006 11:19:08 AM

Oumae

Posts: 911
Joined: 1/4/2005
Status: offline

I'm with the others on this.... mould, shape and build yes but break no.

Oumae

_____________________________

Is cuma le fear na mbrog ca leagann se a chos.
( The man with the boots does not mind where he places his foot)

(in reply to 2BeMarriedNOwned)

Profile

Post #: 13

RE: Questions questions questions The worng word - 2/21/2006 11:24:01 AM

2BeMarriedNOwned

Posts: 12
Joined: 3/21/2005
Status: offline

What a diverse group of people. I would like you to know that "breaking" may have been the wrong word. I guess from the posts, I would change the word and issue, to conditioning. I was seduced into the lifestle, for I fell in love, hopelessly and Mistress knew it. I began my training by just carrying her books. As time went on, I was lured into doing more. The power of love (or in heat) was overwhelming. I would do whatever she wanted in the beginning to make her happy. If she was not happy that was not a good thing. As time went on the whip and padel and the ST Andrews Cross where added as punishment and conditoing. If I was caught flirting I was put on the cross until my arms were tired. Then Mistress would beat me, pet me, love me, all the while she was saying to me . "You will not flirt again" It displeases me, the beating would continue, my penis was played with and balls squeezed until I repeated back to her what she was saying to me. Then I would beg her to stop. By the time she was done... I GOT IT! I would not flirt again, or at least I would not get caught again. (being honest here) I began to fear what she called discipline-punishment sessions. Play sessions were play. She skilfully mixed pleasure and pain to become mixed in my brain. I did at times fear her when she said I needed a discipline-punishment session. She did make me cry and sob, out of control, and I made many promises in those sessions. The pain and pleasure... the fear... the unknown of what she would do "broke bad behaviors and turnned then into non existance or alterd my mind to want to plaese her more. It was always about her and pleasing her. What is still strange to me was, the more I got the more I wanted and the more I loved her deeper and deeper. My Counselor who is bdsm friendly explained to me that my wireing was just different than that of a vanilla. There is a sight called Woman in control, it explains how to extract promises from your husband or slave or sub. She extracted and I changed my behaviors as a result. Now let it be known I wanted to change, and I wanted to please her, but having in the back of my mind overbearing pain was a great behavioral modification technique. Hope that explains it . I gave myself freely,however, my behaviors did need changing. I wanted to be her's and I wanted to be the best slave that I could. I hope that explains all of this. thnxs, 2bemarriednowned

(in reply to SweetDommes)

Profile

Post #: 14