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ORIGINAL: Sunnyfey

*peeks in*

You know I'm the most awesomeest dominator on the interwebz, I'd make you smile again!


Joking aside (I do hope you smiled at least), I do PROMISE there is the right Dom/Master out there for you. I might take a long search, of yourself for starters, have you ever really asked your self WHY you want to be a submissive? (no I'm not saying anything you said above makes you not a submissive..not questioning your motives here at all). The reason Iasked, is I know it really helped me with my abandonment issues, to really sit down and get at the core of my submissive side. It answered a lot of questions I had about myself.

Being sure of my self in that aspect (now anyway) and knowing what I could realistically bring to the table in a relationship, helped me be able to seek out like minded Dom/Masters, and ones who could help me get over any lingering emotions from my past.

Look like I found a damn good one....just sayin.

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ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

I agree. And speaking for myself, about myself....the conversation I used to have going with myself was so loud that it used to drive out any commincation I was trying to have with a partner. It drove out any instructions iI was being given. It spoke according to a well worn script and insisted on acting out the same well worn scenarios.
At least I know myself enough now to have shut the fuck up sufficuently well to have heard what was and is being said to me. It's a better space to be in to be able to listen to both the rackets someone else is playing and the rackets i am playing. Eo be able to assess whether it is a win-win or a no-win situation.
In power exchange if one loses then both lose. 

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ORIGINAL: SirLost

I didn't like Leonidas's manner and harshness at all, but can't help agreeing with something.  Yeah, wtf, right?  lol.  It's fine though, he was just being honest, no big deal.

I had always believed girlfriends (or boyfriends for other cases) and other normal friends are there for me feeling myself better. Well, that's not something incorrect. But I had got so many unresolved psychological problems (which are the results of my suffering childhood years) inside my head that I was in a constant darkness. Was fallen in love with an imaginary woman, who would never exist. I was feeling a dreadful loneliness just because she wasn't real, I tried finding real girlfriends (not "real time", I was and still weak in R/T communication) in Yahell and I really had girlfriends who would love me as a husband candidade, but my relationships weren't lasting long due to my mental problems.  I wasn't able to think anything but that imaginary woman, the humilations I lived in past and my fears. My these thinkings would not only affect my sexual relationships, but also the ones with my close friends. I have a friend who is and was very close to me, she was taking care of me and my problems hoping to help me to get rid off it.

My condition and my friendship with her was going worse last year, I was so afraid of losing her friendship. Someday, during a tantrum, I accused her of something that she didn't and told her I didn't want to see her again. I regreted doing it, but it was all gone: Now she was the one who didn't want to continue it and she was thinking I was only a waste of time. I was trying to apologize and try to talk with her as rare as I could, she finally told me I was only a sack of pain to her and had no reason to afriend again.

This led me to review my last years and I've decided to change myself. It's another story, but I can say I am now someone much more stronger and got able to gain her friendship just because I have turned myself into a boy who can cheer his friends and I proved her this. My point is; it is a bitter fact of life, even though friends and girl/boyfriends are there to comfort us, they are just human beings who has a level of patience. I don't mean you were the one who was completely faulty in your previous relationships, but unresolved problems kill relationships.

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ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

For God's sake, bladerunner, please put periods at the ends of your sentences.  Also, please try to separate your thoughts instead of jumbling them all together.

OP posted that she has a problem with relationships and D/s ones in particular.  I'm not sure that caging her for three months is the right solution, nor using a vanilla site and trying to turn a vanilla into a D type.

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It's just about impossible, however, for me to seperate this guy from all the jerks before him, you know?

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ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

For God's sake, bladerunner, please put periods at the ends of your sentences.  Also, please try to separate your thoughts instead of jumbling them all together.

OP posted that she has a problem with relationships and D/s ones in particular.  I'm not sure that caging her for three months is the right solution, nor using a vanilla site and trying to turn a vanilla into a D type.

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ORIGINAL: bladerunner42

first what i read so far that you are afraid of a commitment that when find one you run if i read your answer right so my sugestion if your not into bdsm go to a regular dating site e harmeny then maybe you find the one that matches you and maybe you wont run or find a true master not the fakes that you find on here and let him cage you the good thing the true master well put you on a three month probation period if things dont work out you can leave with cash in hand money that you earned for example you find a master and be a slave he would size you up find out makes you tick so to speek then during the three month trainning you would work at a job then after work you go straight home to you trainning during those three month of trainning 50% of you check would go in the bank for you to leave at the end of three months the other 50% would go for food and things you need to support you and then the master would cage you if you decide to run also there be ground rules or what they call hard limits that mean a master cannot break those hard limmits if he does then you can break the contract and leave with you money but if you break the ground rules and leave before you three months are up he get to keep you money but after three months is up you mite want to stay so after that 20% goes in the bank an then he ask you every 6 months if you want to stay or leave if you leave on the six months you get all you money if you leave before your six months he gets half of your money an so on that way you have a way out but you cant run any time you want to either an you can find out how the guy is like if wants to kick you out before the three months he has to give you all of you money back what you saved up in savings but theres a catch you and him have to find a nuetral person that you can trust to handle the money its a thought let me know what you think and if you dont like him in two months you have to stay to you your money back see that way you cant run when you scared and if he a dump ass and breaks the contract or hard limits then you can leave and your not out on the street broke

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ORIGINAL: SirLost

Thanks.

You shouldn't be ashamed of focusing on your problems at all, the precedence is our own problems (I got rid off those problems, anyway). My (and the other posters') point is we may go through some problems that our partner is unable to cease. It kills relationships when we start bothering our partner with those unresolved problems. The reason why your boyfriends start a relationship with you isn't different than yours: To feel better, but it seems like those problems cause hurting them.

Focus on your problems, not to get lost in them but to solve. You'll see its benefit in your folllowing relationships.

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ORIGINAL: Musicmystery

quote:

It's just about impossible, however, for me to seperate this guy from all the jerks before him, you know?

There's your answer--permanent protection against hurt...and against relationships.

You can, of course, justifiably argue for it endlessly. You will be right...and alone.

So you have some decisions to make, some growing to do, some healing.

But until then, harsh though it may sound, the problem is yours.

Everybody has a rocky past. You are not unique in this regard.

Move on or stay put. This is entirely in your court.