leadership527 -> RE: Am I being unreasonable? (8/9/2009 9:50:42 AM)
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quote:
Our favorite sex god said: If the renegotiation happens like such: sub/slave: "I'm not going to do that. We need to renegotiate our dynamic to encompass me not wanting to do this now (and/or in the future)." As opposed to: sub/slave: "I will do as you ask, but I would like time whenever it's convenient for you to discuss this topic as I had not foreseen it being an issue of difficulty for me and would like to possibly request leniency with being told to do so in the future." I see no issues with the first one. Carol has that option at any moment. I call that "consensual". I would, of course, stop thinking of ourselves as having any sort of TPE-ish sort of relationship in that event. But I could easily see us then coming up with a D/s dynamic that might, in fact, have vASTLY broad parameters. Sure, she might even *gasp*, seek renegotiation again at some point and then it'd change again. If she eventually took back enough authority, I'd decide it was stupid trying to "lead" and so just go back to vanilla. Option B is more or less how I've instructed Carol to handle it. Although honestly, we don't really think in terms of limits... a thought pattern I find poisonous to a relationship in any event. Carol & I don't have some set of things which she must protect from me. If we run into something like this, we consider it a joint problem to be resolved and we tackle it together. Our most recent such discussions were around: - Who does Jeff sleep with? (anyone I want)
- Who does Carol sleep with? (anyone I want -- in process)
- Who is invited into our marriage? (anyone I want - in process)
Remebering that Carol is fundamentally monogamous, these are not trivial items. Yet we seem to manage just fine without lining up on opposite sides of a limit debate.
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