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RE: Men and Emotions? - 8/11/2009 9:48:05 PM   
TazDevil


Posts: 155
Joined: 2/24/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HarderToBreathe2

quote:

ORIGINAL: TazDevil

oh ya woman or sooooooooooooo much better when they brak up with us..... find that dude with the biger "whip" byby jo and fuck you and the hose your rode in on

at lest us men try to brak it cleen with woman it all "omg he was sach a fell in the blank I going to call hem 100 times and tell hem off too all he's farnds"

relley woman or nuts

then aggen I am a bit sexest....


wow



too be far I was just playing devils avicit (how ever you spell that) and takeing the extreem right side (if your takeing the left ;) )

but turley woman can be as bad as us men, I meen come on

(in reply to HarderToBreathe2)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Men and Emotions? - 8/11/2009 9:52:57 PM   
HarderToBreathe2


Posts: 181
Status: offline 		Case in point (and the reason for my search for answers):

Long story short -- I met a guy I really liked (not in person yet, but we connected quickly through hours and hours of daily conversation).  I started to really care for him, this scared me because now I was at risk of feeling hurt, I told myself that he really didn't care and it was best to get out now, broke it off... talked things through, worked it out for the most part, he no longer trusted me, I got scared again and broke things off again... and the same thing happened a third time.  Only this time, he has since refused to talk to me, and has only spoken two sentences in which he specifically said "I have nothing more to say to you". 

I have had this literal ACHE inside of me (just like VanIsle described) over this for the past week.  I have no idea what he's feeling or if he even cares.  Don't know if he's hurt or angry or uninterested or what, not a clue, because he never wants to talk to me again. 

The whole thing sucks so bad because it just seems so POINTLESS.  I tried to pretend I didn't care so much, he started pulling back like he didn't care so much, I tried to show how much I do in fact care, but then pulled way back again b/c I was concerned that he didn't care.  Then I totally said I was ending things (as I was trying not to care), and I have since then tried to let him know that I DO care, but everything I said was so cold and clinical, I know.  I couldn't express what I FEEL. 

I guess I just wonder if he still happens to care, and I still most definitely care, why are we both staying away and choosing to be miserable?  (unless of course he actually is over it)

Please don't anyone make any snarky comments, I'm just looking for some answers.  I realize that there are many bad things that could be said about this, but I've been through all that in another thread. 



(in reply to HarderToBreathe2)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Men and Emotions? - 8/11/2009 9:53:36 PM   
VanIsleKnight


Posts: 283
Joined: 8/4/2009
Status: offline 		Hmm... I could play Devil's Advocate as well.

I could relate stories of various women I know and knew that are quite selfish, consciously or unconsciously so, are users, are abusers, are sexist, and so on and so forth.

However I wouldn't be able to do so objectively, at least not right now.

I'd have to say that it would be relatively equal.  Gender doesn't seem to matter when it comes to things like that, some people are just the way they are.


_____________________________

Apologies for what you feel might be a spelling error. I'm Canadian.

(in reply to TazDevil)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Men and Emotions? - 8/11/2009 9:54:33 PM   
LillyoftheVally


Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline 		Wait wait wait, you broke up with him, then went back, then again then went back then again and you are saying he is the one out of order and being uncaring? Honestly?

_____________________________

'My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.'

Nah I am not happy to see you either

(in reply to HarderToBreathe2)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Men and Emotions? - 8/11/2009 9:54:51 PM   
HarderToBreathe2


Posts: 181
Status: offline
quote:


too be far I was just playing devils avicit (how ever you spell that) and takeing the extreem right side (if your takeing the left ;) )

but turley woman can be as bad as us men, I meen come on


Okay, thanks for explaining... I thought you sounded pretty mad at me for a minute there.  ;-)

(in reply to TazDevil)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Men and Emotions? - 8/11/2009 9:56:09 PM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HarderToBreathe2

I've been following a few threads that have taken on a bit of a man-bashing tone (a tone to which I've been contributing, lol)... mostly in relation to how guys act during a break-up.  So I have a very serious question for the men out there... do you ever really FEEL something for us?  How long does it take for you to form an emotional connection with someone new?  What about during/after a breakup... do you really care at all?  think about us?  miss us?  feel sadness or regrets?  want us back?  If I even almost knew the answer to these questions, I wouldn't be asking.  It confuses me and causes a lot of frustration not to know what a guy is thinking/feeling. Another question... do you play mind games or play hard to get?  I know every man is different (sort of, lol), but I'm just interested in any individual views on the topic that any of you might wish to share.  Thanks!!!


Once upon a time I was lamenting to my mother about how my teenage daughters would at times react to me. Mom summed it up like this Accurately I might add.  "Girls  can be such bitchs!"

Now my thought goes like this "and they need to be treated accordingly"  So if you act like a one Da boss Man is gonna treat your ass like one.  Nuff said

BadOne


_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to HarderToBreathe2)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Men and Emotions? - 8/11/2009 9:56:47 PM   
HarderToBreathe2


Posts: 181
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyoftheVally

Wait wait wait, you broke up with him, then went back, then again then went back then again and you are saying he is the one out of order and being uncaring? Honestly?


Nooooo, I'm really not saying he is out of order or "being" uncaring.  I just wish I knew IF he cared, and how he feels, that's all.  Because he won't talk to me. 

Like I said, there are many things negative that could be said about me in this situation.  But I have already beat myself up, inside and out.

(in reply to LillyoftheVally)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Men and Emotions? - 8/11/2009 9:57:59 PM   
VanIsleKnight


Posts: 283
Joined: 8/4/2009
Status: offline 		I'd... recommend speaking with someone a little more trained and insightful.  It sounds like you've got a lot on your mind and things to work through.

I also suggest healthy support network of friends and family, and to really got on that talking to a therapist or someone similar.


_____________________________

Apologies for what you feel might be a spelling error. I'm Canadian.

(in reply to HarderToBreathe2)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Men and Emotions? - 8/11/2009 9:58:06 PM   
LillyoftheVally


Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline 		Sounds to me like taking you back twice proved that he did but you pushed it too far, if he hadnt cared then he would have told you to bugger off a lot quicker

_____________________________

'My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.'

Nah I am not happy to see you either

(in reply to HarderToBreathe2)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Men and Emotions? - 8/11/2009 9:59:37 PM   
thechellekitty


Posts: 7
Joined: 7/28/2009
Status: offline
quote:

Nooooo, I'm really not saying he is out of order or "being" uncaring. I just wish I knew IF he cared, and how he feels, that's all. Because he won't talk to me.

Like I said, there are many things negative that could be said about me in this situation. But I have already beat myself up, inside and out.


honestly...i wouldn't talk to you either after that kind of game...not trying to be a bitch, sounds more like you need personal therapy than to understand guys...

_____________________________

the artist formally known as chellekitty...look me up...

(in reply to HarderToBreathe2)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Men and Emotions? - 8/11/2009 10:00:15 PM   
HarderToBreathe2


Posts: 181
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyoftheVally

Sounds to me like taking you back twice proved that he did but you pushed it too far, if he hadnt cared then he would have told you to bugger off a lot quicker


I know.  :( 

(in reply to LillyoftheVally)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Men and Emotions? - 8/11/2009 10:01:24 PM   
LillyoftheVally


Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HarderToBreathe2

quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyoftheVally

Sounds to me like taking you back twice proved that he did but you pushed it too far, if he hadnt cared then he would have told you to bugger off a lot quicker


I know. :(




Ok so stop blaming the entire male gender when in actual fact this one sounds like a bloody diamond. I go back to what I said to you in a previous thread, its about you no one else.

_____________________________

'My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.'

Nah I am not happy to see you either

(in reply to HarderToBreathe2)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Men and Emotions? - 8/11/2009 10:07:23 PM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline 		oh boy  I guess I should have read the thread instead of the initial post before commenting.....I can't have feelings for anything I ve not touched....sheesh

BadOne


_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to SailingBum)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Men and Emotions? - 8/11/2009 10:07:56 PM   
HarderToBreathe2


Posts: 181
Status: offline 		Thank you for answering all my questions Acer.  Everyone else on here seems to think that I'm either a bitch or need therapy or both, so I'm kindof starting to feel a little down here, lol. 

For the record, please keep in mind that I'm only giving an abbreviated version of events here.  I didn't mention the fact that after I said it was over each time, I didn't let even 12 hours pass before I explained it to him and told him where it came from.  All that really happened is that I acted impulsively during a moment of fear (X3), but the rest of the time was fine.  Anyways, I respect the opinions that I am a bitch and I need therapy, I'll mull that over and see if there is any truth to it.

(in reply to Acer49)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Men and Emotions? - 8/11/2009 10:10:39 PM   
LillyoftheVally


Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline 		I don't see where anyone said that you are a bitch.

_____________________________

'My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.'

Nah I am not happy to see you either

(in reply to HarderToBreathe2)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Men and Emotions? - 8/11/2009 10:11:08 PM   
HarderToBreathe2


Posts: 181
Status: offline
quote:

I also suggest healthy support network of friends and family


I have this, but I don't feel as free to discuss things with them seeing as how this was within the world of D/s, so to speak.  I have to leave out details when talking to friends and family.

(in reply to VanIsleKnight)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Men and Emotions? - 8/11/2009 10:12:35 PM   
HarderToBreathe2


Posts: 181
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyoftheVally

I don't see where anyone said that you are a bitch.


SailingBum did.

(in reply to LillyoftheVally)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Men and Emotions? - 8/11/2009 10:13:55 PM   
HarderToBreathe2


Posts: 181
Status: offline
quote:

Ok so stop blaming the entire male gender when in actual fact this one sounds like a bloody diamond. I go back to what I said to you in a previous thread, its about you no one else.


You're right.  We don't always like to admit the truth to ourselves, I guess, ya know?  He was WONDERFUL and that's why I'm kicking myself so hard right now, even though maybe it isn't coming across that way....

(in reply to LillyoftheVally)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Men and Emotions? - 8/11/2009 10:15:04 PM   
HarderToBreathe2


Posts: 181
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

oh boy  I guess I should have read the thread instead of the initial post before commenting.....I can't have feelings for anything I ve not touched....sheesh

BadOne



You're referring to the fact that we hadn't yet made it to the meeting-in-person part?

(in reply to SailingBum)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Men and Emotions? - 8/11/2009 10:16:50 PM   
LillyoftheVally


Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HarderToBreathe2

quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyoftheVally

I don't see where anyone said that you are a bitch.


SailingBum did.



Ahh you need to learn to take everything he says with a bucket of salt.

And I know its hard to admit, and no I don't know the ins and outs. Maybe a kink friendly counciler would be a good idea, or getting to know people involved in D/s to talk to.


_____________________________

'My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.'

Nah I am not happy to see you either

(in reply to HarderToBreathe2)
Profile   Post #: 60
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