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Do Masters play harder then Mistresses?? - 8/25/2004 5:19:51 PM   
knees2you


Posts: 2336
Joined: 3/15/2004
Status: offline 		Was just sitting here thinking?? Do Mistresses play
as hard as Masters??
Or are they more Sensual??

Also Subs, do You notice a Intensity level difference between
Masters and Mistresses??

Sincerely, eyesofAslave

quote:

"It's funny how we can still see, Yet we are blind~"




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RE: Do Masters play harder then Mistresses?? - 8/25/2004 5:34:37 PM   
afmvdp


Posts: 494
Joined: 7/10/2004
Status: offline 		While I find most males tend to be more strict, I've found that females are more sadistic.

(in reply to knees2you)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Do Masters play harder then Mistresses?? - 8/25/2004 5:40:45 PM   
LadyShoshin


Posts: 492
Joined: 7/19/2004
From: Burlington, Ontario
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: knees2you

Was just sitting here thinking?? Do Mistresses play
as hard as Masters??
Or are they more Sensual??

Also Subs, do You notice a Intensity level difference between
Masters and Mistresses??

Sincerely, eyesofAslave

quote:

"It's funny how we can still see, Yet we are blind~"




*ROTFLMAO*
Intensity and ferocity of play has no gender barrier, it is personality driven rather than gender driven. I have seen sensual male Doms who play gently, I have seen FemDoms do the same, I have also seen intense, sadistic players of both genders. I have included a picture of the back of one of my playpartners after a session. We call him uberpainslut, he loved the marks, that is why he wanted the photos taken. I will leave it up to you, am I always a soft & sensual player?




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PHLOX: “It’s unethical for a doctor to cause harm...I can inflict as much pain as I like.”

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RE: Do Masters play harder then Mistresses?? - 8/25/2004 6:59:37 PM   
subbiejenn


Posts: 631
Joined: 7/12/2004
Status: offline 		I have a friend who has been in the lifestyle a long time with a lot of Domme friends. He has always told me Female's are more sadistic. W/we have actually talked a lot about this. Y/you would think it would be the other way around...


_____________________________

~Subspace is my perfect paradise vacation from busy-mind... blessed be to the Dominant who can stamp my ticket there.~

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away"

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RE: Do Masters play harder then Mistresses?? - 8/25/2004 7:02:33 PM   
stef


Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline 		Why would one necessarily think that? I don't believe there is anything that makes one gender inherently more sadistic than the other.

~stef

(in reply to subbiejenn)
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RE: Do Masters play harder then Mistresses?? - 8/25/2004 7:40:51 PM   
SherriA


Posts: 544
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sfgrrl

Why would one necessarily think that? I don't believe there is anything that makes one gender inherently more sadistic than the other.


I don't know that there's anything that makes one gender inherently more sadistic, but it's been my personal experience that women play harder than men, particularly in women only spaces. Those are simply my observations, across two countries, and not at all any kind of randomized sample.

I've heard people suggest that men are afraid that they're going to "break" female bottoms, while women know how tough we really are. I don't know that I buy into that theory though.

Still, if i really want to be physically pushed, I'm going to seek out a female top.

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-- Sherri

Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity.

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RE: Do Masters play harder then Mistresses?? - 8/25/2004 7:42:39 PM   
LadyShoshin


Posts: 492
Joined: 7/19/2004
From: Burlington, Ontario
Status: offline 		I have to agree with you, it is personality, not gender driven. I can play within a range of soft and sensual, teasing & fun, very sexual to harsh. It depends on the sub I am playing and their needs, I adjust my style of play. A technique that I use very successfully is to get the sub to give me feedback on a scale of one - ten, one is have we started yet and ten is I am putting my clothes on and getting the hell out of here. I have used it with canes, paddles, quirts and floggers. I try to stay within each sub's 6-8 range. For some that requires a soft touch, for others I call it the babe ruth school of paddling. That is my personality, it has nothing whatsoever to do with my gender, I was taught the technique by a Dom.

_____________________________

PHLOX: “It’s unethical for a doctor to cause harm...I can inflict as much pain as I like.”

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RE: Do Masters play harder then Mistresses?? - 8/25/2004 8:25:35 PM   
WayHome


Posts: 237
Joined: 8/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SherriA

Still, if i really want to be physically pushed, I'm going to seek out a female top.


Obviously genralizations have limits and individuals vary more than groups, but maybe there's more of a gay difference than a gender difference because I've known some gay males to play pretty darn rough.

Not enough of a sample size (being a sheltered straight guy) to place too much stock but it sure seems that way.


Leto

(in reply to SherriA)
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RE: Do Masters play harder then Mistresses?? - 8/26/2004 5:44:34 AM   
MizSuz


Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		I've said more than once that I wish I had a dollar for every time a woman has leaned towards me and whispered "I adore him, but I really wish he'd push me harder."

Of course, I've also heard people say "why does she keep asking me if I'm ok?!? JUST TAKE WHAT YOU WANT!!!"

So, there ya go.

(in reply to knees2you)
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RE: Do Masters play harder then Mistresses?? - 8/26/2004 7:01:42 AM   
ScorpioMaster


Posts: 146
Joined: 3/30/2004
Status: offline 		Do you remember the rash of females cutting off male’s tools about 6 years ago? Does that answer your question on who is more sadistic? I have seen a Leather man and Sir Daddy play very extreme at a local event one year. I think it depends on the person some females are harsher while I know of some Males are too. I know of a young female slave looking for a Leather Daddy because they are extreme

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RE: Do Masters play harder then Mistresses?? - 8/26/2004 1:23:06 PM   
Enki


Posts: 6
Joined: 8/26/2004
From: Boston, MA
Status: offline 		My experience has been that you cannot qualify an "extreme" or a "gentle" Dom based on gender. Although I agree it seems to be the case, I'm not convinced female Doms are more sadistic. I think we just hear about that more. For example, consider two strait Doms, one female and one male, who are both very extreme in their play. One paddles submissive boys til they are raw, the other paddles submissive girls until they are raw. Merely from the point of view of our modern day dogma, the former is a lot more widely acceptable than the latter. If I were a Dom into extreme sadism with female subs, I wouldn't go around advertising it. It's unfortunate that due to the tumor of domestic abuse in this country people are so reactionary, but if the price to pay for the cops busting some -abusive- wretch is that an extreme Dom needs to keep his head down I think that's a fair price.

As for the actual matter of qualifying levels of sadism, I'd say that "how extreme" is largely a function of the motivation for that Dom's participation in BDSM. There are philosophical reasons as well as emotional reasons. I'll probably cut crosswise on the nerves of some here, but a large proportion of Dom's I've met in my life were abused at some point in their development, and I've seen trends in how that early abuse relates to their style of BDSM. The same can be said for subs, but that's an entirely different topic. As well, many Doms take their domination as a refined manner of research into the human psyche. One of the most sadistic I've ever met was a highly "well adjusted", successful, popular person in his vanilla life. He spoke of the theory behind domination, pain, and human will with an almost clinical detachment.

All in all, there really are no hard and fast rules to the BDSM culture. If you're trying to figure this out for guidance in choosing a Dom, I'd say you're sore out of luck in measuring sadism by gender.

(in reply to knees2you)
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RE: Do Masters play harder then Mistresses?? - 8/27/2004 8:48:12 AM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline 		I waited a while before responding to this post because I was mulling the question over in my mind. I don’t believe that one gender is capable of sadism more then another. On the other hand, like SherriA said, I have known women who in general are more sadistic than their male counterparts.

In my opinion, you started to put your finger on it Enki:

quote:

ORIGINAL: Enki
One paddles submissive boys til they are raw, the other paddles submissive girls until they are raw. Merely from the point of view of our modern day dogma, the former is a lot more widely acceptable than the latter. If I were a Dom into extreme sadism with female subs, I wouldn't go around advertising it. It's unfortunate that due to the tumor of domestic abuse in this country people are so reactionary, but if the price to pay for the cops busting some -abusive- wretch is that an extreme Dom needs to keep his head down I think that's a fair price.


It is true that men dominating women can be seen more as abuse then vice versa. I am reminded of iwill’s thread when he said he understood the need for female dominance but didn’t understand male dominance as it was weaved into the fabric of society. I didn’t share his opinion on this, but nevertheless, his perspective is a common one.

Essentially, I think that when a man dominates a woman sexually, many see it as simply pushing traditional social roles further, and as you said Enki, often as an abuse of power. (What motivates BDSM desires is a whole other thread which has surely already been discussed a few times. )

However when a woman dominates a man, it is seen as à-contre-courant (against the normal accepted hegemonic discourse and protocol), and therefore perhaps viewed more as extreme because of this. How can the gentler sex be so mean, right?

The views I have just expressed aren’t my own. I was simply trying to illustrate why certain perceptions might be held. I hold more radical views on power exchange that doesn’t fit into the hegemonic discourse and shocks many, even some kinksters. I think women hold as much power as men in society but on different planes but that many woman have not learned to harness their power because they constantly feel safety in their roles as #2. I also believe that we dichotomize gender much too much. Obviously my views are fringe and I don’t expect anyone to agree with me on them.

- LA

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Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

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RE: Do Masters play harder then Mistresses?? - 8/27/2004 10:26:28 AM   
wetrope


Posts: 117
Joined: 8/9/2004
From: GATINEAU, PQ
Status: offline 		Masters play as hard as Mistresses, but the major difference is in the sexes, because Masters are not females they tend to be easier on female subs than a Mistress would be. I have spoken to so many fem subs that agree, I am sure about it. Mistresses because they know the female body so well have more freedom to torture go farther but a Master is hesitant and doesnt want to hurt too badly. I have no experience with male subs so cant comment there.

(in reply to knees2you)
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RE: Do Masters play harder then Mistresses?? - 8/27/2004 11:46:31 AM   
MrThorns


Posts: 919
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline 		Quick answer: no.

Slightly less quick answer:

Gender has nothing to do with the level at which you play. I know gentle Masters and Evil, Sadistic Mistresses..and visa versa. Women can be devious. So can men. This is like posing a question of "Who are bigger pain sluts? Men or Women?" Again...gender has nothing to do with it.

~Thorns

_____________________________

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"My inner child is a mean little fucker"

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Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Do Masters play harder then Mistresses?? - 8/27/2004 3:28:43 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: wetrope
I am sure about it.


How can you be?

I’m not discounting what you are saying. I tend to respect opinions that differ from mine. You are basing you opinion on your experience, which is not a bad way to form your own opinion.

But you then apply your experience-based opinion across the board without having tested all potential dynamics to everyone (you say it yourself you never played with male subs).

Again, I’m not discounting your experience or the opinion you personally derived from it. I’m question the fact that you make an absolute statement based on it.

And just so you don’t think I’m a total bitch (just an opinionated one ;) I’d like to welcome you, fellow Quebecker, to the boards. Bienvenue!

- LA

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RE: Do Masters play harder then Mistresses?? - 8/28/2004 8:18:43 AM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		As people I don't feel we are any different. I know women who are stronger than most men...hey I'm one of them. I can hit harder than my 6'6 Dom and his 300 pounds of weight. That doesn't mean I would...but I could.

The only real difference I have seen over the years are the female tops. They are sadistic..men haters. So yes, they push to the limits and beyond. Like I've said here many times before I know there are tops out there who like men. I have just never met one face to face.

All in all I think we are all about the same. You're going to find people of both sexes who like to play harder than others. Just depends on where you happen to be at that time and place.

(in reply to knees2you)
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RE: Do Masters play harder then Mistresses?? - 8/28/2004 10:31:48 AM   
Thanatosian


Posts: 765
Joined: 5/10/2004
From: New Castle, PA
Status: offline 		There is an old millitary axiom - "dont let them give you to the women" - meaning, if you are captured, pray to whatever god(s) you revere that you stay among the men who captured you and are not turned over to the women, as the women would be infinitely more cruel and sadistic in their treatment to you - and if it looks like you are going to be turned over to the women, try to suicide in any way possible - you ll still enjoy a cleaner death than you would experience at the hands of the women

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Apply Usual Caveats Here

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RE: Do Masters play harder then Mistresses?? - 8/28/2004 11:15:01 AM   
Sundew02


Posts: 457
Joined: 2/6/2004
Status: offline 		Thank you Thanatosia, I always wanted to be feared for my wicked mind, laughing. I do agree that women can be more "inventive". But I will also say that it truly does depend on the person, I am sure not every woman in the group wanted to get more painful licks in. Sundew

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RE: Do Masters play harder then Mistresses?? - 9/22/2004 6:27:59 PM   
knees2you


Posts: 2336
Joined: 3/15/2004
Status: offline 		So maybe Woman are a little more Saddistic~
hmmmm.

Sincerely, eyesofAslave




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RE: Do Masters play harder then Mistresses?? - 9/22/2004 7:38:17 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline 		We agree. Especially with female on female.

(in reply to afmvdp)
Profile   Post #: 20
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