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Collaring without influence - 9/9/2009 5:21:38 AM   
sandra25


Posts: 12
Joined: 8/16/2009
Status: offline 		Dear all,

Concerning most Mistresses (and Masters) a true slave allows his or her owner to cross some of their boudaries. As a result of this, I am questioning myself whether a true slave is allowed to say 'no' whenever someone desires to collar him/her? In short I would say a true slave would, on the other hand....
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Collaring without influence - 9/9/2009 5:27:49 AM   
KYsissy


Posts: 781
Joined: 5/12/2005
Status: offline 		I would think that the decision to accept a collar is with the sub. 

Once collared however . . .

(in reply to sandra25)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Collaring without influence - 9/9/2009 5:29:09 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		D/s or M/s relationships are just like vanilla in that you have to know and trust your partner. If some Josephine Shmoe walks up to a slave and says Your mine and tries to slap a collar on them, I hope the slave will have the intelligence to say "no". There are predators out there and a slave has to protect themselves. If they do not do it for themselves then who will do it?

I have a #1 rule for my sub, protect yourself even if from me. That is first and foremost. A slave has a mind they should use it to their advantage and for their survival.

~Lashra

_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






(in reply to sandra25)
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RE: Collaring without influence - 9/9/2009 5:30:13 AM   
LadySweetOrSour


Posts: 1415
Joined: 3/21/2009
Status: offline 		There is no true or real or right in BDSM. What is perfect for one, is not for another. All is relative to the person talking.

I personally don't see how a slave who does not want to be collared can be collared so yes, obviously a slave can say no to being collared. Slavery isn't legally binding, so how can a slave contract be upheld? How could a slave be collared by just anyone who wants to collar him/her? They can't.

(in reply to sandra25)
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RE: Collaring without influence - 9/9/2009 5:40:44 AM   
CarrieO


Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline 		sandra25...
I'm confused by your post.  Are you suggesting that to be a "true" slave you have no say as to who can/will collar you?  If so, could you explain why you feel that? 
I'm also wondring why you think a slave can't say no to someone.  Would you allow someone you've never met to snap a collar around your neck and expect you to follow, no questions asked, just because you label yourself as a slave? 


_____________________________

"No matter what happens in the kitchen, never apologize"~Julia Child~


(in reply to sandra25)
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RE: Collaring without influence - 9/9/2009 5:49:36 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		There's a myth that slaves cannot choose who collars them.  Said myth is perpetuated by *koffkoff* "Doms" that otherwise could not get anyone to even speak to them.

A slave has value.  He or she bears the responsibility to his or her ultimate owner to not diminish that value by letting just anyone have him or her.


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to CarrieO)
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RE: Collaring without influence - 9/9/2009 5:56:44 AM   
subtlebutterfly


Posts: 2230
Joined: 6/15/2008
From: Not your hood
Status: offline 		What a load of bull Steven...slaves are there in cages and are put up for auction on slave-ebay all the time
but in all seriousness...I can't stand the "true" blahblahblah bollox n the limitless&nochoice slaves

yanno....after Holly pointed out the toilet in the background of ya pic I can never look at you the same way as I did before....


_____________________________

~Ms. Awesomeness to YOU!~

(in reply to DarkSteven)
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RE: Collaring without influence - 9/9/2009 6:02:51 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline 		Cart before horse.... A slave or sub isn't slave or sub to just any random dickwad who maybe capitalise their name. From when I INSPIRED her submission she hasn't had the authority to say no to Me but any other girl, slave, sub, whatever out there with whom I don't have that Dynamic... she isn't My slave, I am not their Master and "no" is quite applicable!

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to subtlebutterfly)
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RE: Collaring without influence - 9/9/2009 6:13:26 AM   
CarrieO


Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

A slave has value.  He or she bears the responsibility to his or her ultimate owner to not diminish that value by letting just anyone have him or her.



You know, its funny but if you substitute person for slave and partner for owner that phrase could almost sound vanilla.  I see this as just good old common sense.  Just because people use words like "slave', "owner", "lifestyle", bdsm or D/s doesn't mean common sense should fly out the window. 

OP, this is all still just two (or more if you're poly) people interacting within the confines of a relationship, be it friendship/play partners/or more. 

That's just my take on things FWIW.

_____________________________

"No matter what happens in the kitchen, never apologize"~Julia Child~


(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Collaring without influence - 9/9/2009 7:59:31 AM   
Acer49


Posts: 1434
Joined: 8/7/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sandra25

Dear all,

Concerning most Mistresses (and Masters) a true slave allows his or her owner to cross some of their boudaries. As a result of this, I am questioning myself whether a true slave is allowed to say 'no' whenever someone desires to collar him/her? In short I would say a true slave would, on the other hand....


Until such time as you are collared, you are under no obligation to do anything you do not desire to

_____________________________

Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.
Harvey Fierstein

(in reply to sandra25)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Collaring without influence - 9/9/2009 8:37:14 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Just because BDSM is involved doesn't make it any different than anything else in life.  Would a person be allowed to say no if someone wanted to marry them?

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Acer49)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Collaring without influence - 9/9/2009 8:46:09 AM   
Andalusite


Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline 		Anyone who expects random strangers to accept a relationship with them or perform sexually for them is rude and ignorant. Many slaves don't feel drawn to such folks at all, while a few tend to respond with submission toward everyone, and need someone else to set boundaries for them.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Collaring without influence - 9/9/2009 10:05:13 AM   
PlayfulWhenUsed


Posts: 38
Joined: 8/12/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CarrieO

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

A slave has value.  He or she bears the responsibility to his or her ultimate owner to not diminish that value by letting just anyone have him or her.



You know, its funny but if you substitute person for slave and partner for owner that phrase could almost sound vanilla.  I see this as just good old common sense.  Just because people use words like "slave', "owner", "lifestyle", bdsm or D/s doesn't mean common sense should fly out the window. 


I really, really agree.  When people start thinking about what "true submission" is or what "true slavery" is, things always get silly.  What happens in the scene is often very intense, but it is still a shadow of the things that we are borrowing terms from, and good thing too.  You cannot actually sell your slave.  You cannot sell your slave's children.  You cannot hang your slave to death for stealing a fork or some food or just because you feel like it.

(in reply to CarrieO)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Collaring without influence - 9/9/2009 10:29:56 AM   
shadowowl


Posts: 198
Joined: 5/31/2004
Status: offline 		Slave "true" or otherwise always has at least 1 right and that is who collars them.    after that they have 2 rights by law.   to obey or leave.  no one can take any of those rights away from anyone without breaking criminal laws in all but a few countries.  Everything else is determined by the individuals involved.

(in reply to PlayfulWhenUsed)
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RE: Collaring without influence - 9/9/2009 10:56:00 AM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Just because BDSM is involved doesn't make it any different than anything else in life.  Would a person be allowed to say no if someone wanted to marry them?


Except at a slave auction, maybe.  There, slaves don't get to say 'no'.

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com


(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Collaring without influence - 9/9/2009 10:56:56 AM   
PlayfulWhenUsed


Posts: 38
Joined: 8/12/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: shadowowl

Slave "true" or otherwise always has at least 1 right and that is who collars them.    after that they have 2 rights by law.   to obey or leave.  no one can take any of those rights away from anyone without breaking criminal laws in all but a few countries.  Everything else is determined by the individuals involved.

Well, yes, that is the point of course.  If you are thinking about sort of the most literal possible meanings of words, then a "True Slave" would not have the right to leave, and that is a very big deal.

(in reply to shadowowl)
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RE: Collaring without influence - 9/9/2009 4:37:41 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subtlebutterfly

yanno....after Holly pointed out the toilet in the background of ya pic I can never look at you the same way as I did before....



Because of my deep and abiding love for you, I have flushed out the toilet.


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to subtlebutterfly)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Collaring without influence - 9/9/2009 8:16:54 PM   
sweetsub1957


Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

quote:

ORIGINAL: subtlebutterfly

yanno....after Holly pointed out the toilet in the background of ya pic I can never look at you the same way as I did before....



Because of my deep and abiding love for you, I have flushed out the toilet.



haha  Too funny!!

_____________________________

Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Collaring without influence - 9/9/2009 9:33:36 PM   
Andalusite


Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline 		DarkSteven, between you and Playful's comment about being literal, I'm picturing you frozen in a bird-dog "point" at the toilet while it flies away!

shadowowl, I don't think that obeying in the context of a M/s relationship is considered a legal "right." The government doesn't really care whether or not we obey our partners, and won't prosecute us for failing to do so. Some M/s relationships are set up so that one disobedience is sufficient to dissolve it. In my relationship with my Master, he has not made that ultimatum, and I wouldn't have become owned by him if he had set up a "One strike and you're out" rule. You're right that a slave cannot legally be prevented from leaving the relationship, though.

Peon, the only real slave auctions I'm aware of are the ones that are held to benefit charity. The slaves *are* allowed to say no, the people just bid to be able to negotiate with them rather than an outright promise of play or sex.

(in reply to sweetsub1957)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Collaring without influence - 9/11/2009 5:31:57 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Just because BDSM is involved doesn't make it any different than anything else in life.  Would a person be allowed to say no if someone wanted to marry them?


Except at a slave auction, maybe.  There, slaves don't get to say 'no'.

At any that I've ever participated in, that is not correct.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 20
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