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Why I prefer men over women - 9/10/2009 5:27:35 AM

SomethingCatchy

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When I am interested in finding a submissive partner, and I'm not in a 'battle of the switching' I am only interested in male submissives. I am a straight female, so people would assume that this is what I would want, but I'm not necessarily looking for a straight partner to also engage in sexual play with either.

This morning when the dog woke me up too early, I just randomly landed on this subject to think about. I wondered why I never look for female submissives. I wouldn't care if she's straight or gay, just like I don't care if my males are straight or gay. It also doesn't have anything to do with the revulsion I have to the idea of lesbian sex, even though that does pop up in my head as something I'd have to cover to make it clear it won't happen.

My reason is that the women I've encountered in daily life and the submissives I've been around while in groups and going to munches have been predominantly rude, bitchy, pushy, and just plain annoying. Men can also be those things, but I don't take it so personally. When a woman acts like a child, I feel like she's trying to undermine women everywhere who have been fighting hard to be taken seriously in their lives. I expect people who are adults to act like adults instead of throwing temper tantrums. If a man did that, he'd get slapped with 'crazy' and women would avoid him if they were smart. If a woman does it, men still want to have sex with her.

If I am looking for a dominant, the same applies. I try to tone down the judgement, but I'm very harsh on my own gender because I have high expectations. I would be looking for a very long time if I were open to a female dominant rather than a male one. I realize there are tons of female dominants out there who are good people, but they would have to fit all the other requirements I would need if I were looking for a dominant partner.

So that's my reason that I am not interested in a females. I find the female body beautiful, but I dislike the general attitudes that come with it.

I realize there are a lot of bisexual or more open people than I am, but for those who only stick with one gender why do YOU do it? Is it as simple as no attraction to the other or is there another reason?

_____________________________

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Everyone is gay for Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

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Post #: 1

RE: Why I prefer men over women - 9/10/2009 6:03:47 AM

RavenMuse

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Firstly My experience has been quite different than the OP's. in over quarter of a century in the lifestyle I can honestly say that out of the hundreds (Or maybe thousands, I wasn't counting) "male subs" I've ever met I can count on the fingers of one hand those who came across as actually submissive to their Mistress rather than being a do-me bunny who's only actual submission was to their own dick!

I have seen more sulky brat behaviour from so called male subs than I have ever seen from femsubs. Also a difference in perception, I quite like a degree of child-like behaviour, however I have zero tolerance for child-ish behaviour.

Add to that the fact that I rarely just Top, so need a Dynamic that extends beyond simply the 'play' environment and My sexuality is straight so any Dynamic that touches on sexuality is going to rule out a male.... also, My flat and lifestyle doesn't have enough to warrant a purely service submissive (My girl already complains about a lack of chores to do) and there simply isn't room in My life for a sub male. Nothing he could offer and nothing I am willing to give that would fulfil the needs of such.

Plus, if I did take on a service sub... a female is FAR more aesthetically pleasing to Me than any male so if I am going to have them in My home, doing chores when I am there, again I am going to choose a female over a male every time unless I am in the position to require a regular chore that needs a males strength.... given how infrequent that is the case currently I do those chores Myself! I'll turn the mattress (Pocket sprung and bloody heavy!), she can make the bed! (Not to mention that so many male subs are bloody wimps and couldn't do such chores any better than a female!)

Don't get Me wrong, I have played occassionaly with a male in the past and probably will in the future... most often it is when a Female Domme is asking for advice on some aspect of play technique and their boy just happens to be the most convenient demo bunny. I have no aversion to doing so, just no draw to have such in My regular life when there are far better options from My perspective.

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to SomethingCatchy)

Post #: 2

RE: Why I prefer men over women - 9/10/2009 6:13:41 AM

thishereboi

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Joined: 6/19/2008
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Yes I would have to agree, my experiences have been more like yours than the op. Of course she said in the op that....

"My reason is that the women I've encountered in daily life and the submissives I've been around while in groups and going to munches have been predominantly rude, bitchy, pushy, and just plain annoying. Men can also be those things, but I don't take it so personally. "

So maybe it's not the women she is meeting and more how she is taking them. Not sure why it's ok for men to do those things, but if it makes her happy, that's all that matters. I have to point out though, if someone notices that everyone is being a certain way towards them, the problem might be theirs and not the group in question.

_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert

This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi

(in reply to RavenMuse)

Post #: 3

RE: Why I prefer men over women - 9/10/2009 6:23:28 AM

lusciouslips19

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A woman acts a certain way and the OP takes it personally? Perhaps, the OP is getting "bitchy" because they are responding to her Bitchy behavior? If she takes it personally from women, perhaps the women are reacting to her and taking it personally also?

Just a thought.

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to thishereboi)

Post #: 4

RE: Why I prefer men over women - 9/10/2009 6:29:20 AM

suhlut

Posts: 622
Joined: 7/20/2007
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In regards to BDSM... i am also a woman that finds herself interested only in Men.

Female Doms scare the crap outta me. i tend to think a Female Dom will know much more precisely where to hurt, how to hurt another female body, and being a woman myself, i know all to well the way a woman thinks.. and so.. i avoid becoming interested.

That, though, doesn't prevent me from having a sexual interest in other females. Just i tend to be more attracted to fellow submissive females, OR vanilla females. Somehow.. they seem "safer" to me. lol

_____________________________

That girl is pretty kinky
The girl's a super freak

SUPERFREAK ~by Rick James

(in reply to SomethingCatchy)

Post #: 5

RE: Why I prefer men over women - 9/10/2009 6:31:19 AM

Wolf2Bear

Posts: 3204
Joined: 9/6/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: suhlut

Female Doms scare the crap outta me. i tend to think a Female Dom will know much more precisely where to hurt, how to hurt another female body, and being a woman myself, i know all to well the way a woman thinks.. and so.. i avoid becoming interested.

Yet the same thing can also be said with a male Dom playing with a male sub.

_____________________________

~Resident Sadist Approved~

Take the pain
Take the pleasure
I'm the master of both
Close your eyes, not your mind
Let me into your soul
I'm gonna work it 'til your totally blown

(in reply to suhlut)

Post #: 6

RE: Why I prefer men over women - 9/10/2009 6:31:40 AM

lusciouslips19

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YEs, females sadists are from my experience way more sadistic then the males. But they are also more intuitive.

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to suhlut)

Post #: 7

RE: Why I prefer men over women - 9/10/2009 6:41:20 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse

Firstly My experience has been quite different than the OP's. in over quarter of a century in the lifestyle I can honestly say that out of the hundreds (Or maybe thousands, I wasn't counting) "male subs" I've ever met I can count on the fingers of one hand those who came across as actually submissive to their Mistress rather than being a do-me bunny who's only actual submission was to their own dick!

I have seen more sulky brat behaviour from so called male subs than I have ever seen from femsubs. Also a difference in perception, I quite like a degree of child-like behaviour, however I have zero tolerance for child-ish behaviour.

Add to that the fact that I rarely just Top, so need a Dynamic that extends beyond simply the 'play' environment and My sexuality is straight so any Dynamic that touches on sexuality is going to rule out a male.... also, My flat and lifestyle doesn't have enough to warrant a purely service submissive (My girl already complains about a lack of chores to do) and there simply isn't room in My life for a sub male. Nothing he could offer and nothing I am willing to give that would fulfil the needs of such.

Plus, if I did take on a service sub... a female is FAR more aesthetically pleasing to Me than any male so if I am going to have them in My home, doing chores when I am there, again I am going to choose a female over a male every time unless I am in the position to require a regular chore that needs a males strength.... given how infrequent that is the case currently I do those chores Myself! I'll turn the mattress (Pocket sprung and bloody heavy!), she can make the bed! (Not to mention that so many male subs are bloody wimps and couldn't do such chores any better than a female!)

Except for the straight part..............this reflects my feelings very well.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to RavenMuse)

Post #: 8

RE: Why I prefer men over women - 9/10/2009 6:42:43 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: suhlut

In regards to BDSM... i am also a woman that finds herself interested only in Men.

Female Doms scare the crap outta me. i tend to think a Female Dom will know much more precisely where to hurt, how to hurt another female body, and being a woman myself, i know all to well the way a woman thinks.. and so.. i avoid becoming interested.

That, though, doesn't prevent me from having a sexual interest in other females. Just i tend to be more attracted to fellow submissive females, OR vanilla females. Somehow.. they seem "safer" to me. lol

Pffftttttt!! Ya big chicken.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to suhlut)

Post #: 9

RE: Why I prefer men over women - 9/10/2009 6:56:41 AM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse
Except for the straight part..............this reflects my feelings very well.

Well the cheeky little mare that I Own has said on more than one occasion that I am a lesbian who just happens to have a dick!

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 10

RE: Why I prefer men over women - 9/10/2009 6:59:00 AM

xoxkittenxox

Posts: 147
Joined: 12/17/2007
Status: offline

Women are bitchy. I agree on this. ALL women are bitchy. I do not think I have ever met a woman that does not enjoy having a bitchy attitude. But, most are only bitchy toward other women. When it comes to a male, they act much differently. Sometimes they are bitchy, other times they are little cock whores who suck up and give the pouty eyes to get a cock in their mouth. I praise you on bringing up the topic. ^^ Very good points. Don't listen to the women who say you are bitchy about them being bitchy, because they just don't want to admit being bitchy because they want to appear "perfectly innocent and submissive" which is just NOT the case.

I think its the hormones. Then again, I have estrogen and, well, I don't NORMALLY act bitchy, unless someone provokes it. Kay, MAYBE I do when the mood feels right...

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 11

RE: Why I prefer men over women - 9/10/2009 7:01:31 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: xoxkittenxox

Women are bitchy. I agree on this. ALL women are bitchy. I do not think I have ever met a woman that does not enjoy having a bitchy attitude. But, most are only bitchy toward other women. When it comes to a male, they act much differently. Sometimes they are bitchy, other times they are little cock whores who suck up and give the pouty eyes to get a cock in their mouth. I praise you on bringing up the topic. ^^ Very good points. Don't listen to the women who say you are bitchy about them being bitchy, because they just don't want to admit being bitchy because they want to appear "perfectly innocent and submissive" which is just NOT the case.

I think its the hormones. Then again, I have estrogen and, well, I don't NORMALLY act bitchy, unless someone provokes it. Kay, MAYBE I do when the mood feels right...

The guys that work for me would DEFINITELY call bullshit on that idea!!!

I would say I spread the gift of my bitchiness equally among the genders! Maybe even more heavily on the guys that annoy me.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to xoxkittenxox)

Post #: 12

RE: Why I prefer men over women - 9/10/2009 7:02:26 AM

Roguescharm

Posts: 82
Joined: 12/5/2008
Status: offline

I prefer guys because I'm straight. It's not that I don't think women can be attractive, they just don't do it for me. From what I've been feeling and discovering about myself kinkwise a lot of it is on a sexual level, so if there's no attraction I don't think I'd enjoy it much.

_____________________________

"There's nothing more dangerous than someone who wants to make the world a better place."
— Banksy

(in reply to RavenMuse)

Post #: 13

RE: Why I prefer men over women - 9/10/2009 7:04:51 AM

onlinemaleslut

Posts: 2
Joined: 8/30/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse

Well the cheeky little mare that I Own has said on more than one occasion that I am a lesbian who just happens to have a dick!

No, you don't, it's just a big clit.

(in reply to RavenMuse)

Post #: 14

RE: Why I prefer men over women - 9/10/2009 7:10:04 AM

xoxkittenxox

Posts: 147
Joined: 12/17/2007
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I was refering to mostly submissive females. Dominant women are just plain bitchy.

(in reply to onlinemaleslut)

Post #: 15

RE: Why I prefer men over women - 9/10/2009 7:10:35 AM

suhlut

Posts: 622
Joined: 7/20/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Wolf2Bear

quote:

ORIGINAL: suhlut

Female Doms scare the crap outta me. i tend to think a Female Dom will know much more precisely where to hurt, how to hurt another female body, and being a woman myself, i know all to well the way a woman thinks.. and so.. i avoid becoming interested.

Yet the same thing can also be said with a male Dom playing with a male sub.

That is very likely true *smiles

but Bear.. i can only speak from my own perspective... and so i can't very well try guessing what a male sub might think about playing with a Male Dom.

_____________________________

That girl is pretty kinky
The girl's a super freak

SUPERFREAK ~by Rick James

(in reply to Wolf2Bear)

Post #: 16

RE: Why I prefer men over women - 9/10/2009 7:14:34 AM

suhlut

Posts: 622
Joined: 7/20/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

YEs, females sadists are from my experience way more sadistic then the males. But they are also more intuitive.

Exactly lucious... EXACTLY why the idea of Female Doms make me tremble inside..shaking with fear.

Now... that might make me seem that i might not enjoy pain... but thats not true. i love it.
A male Sadist though, doesn't scare me.. while female Sadists very much do.

Why?.. i'm not so sure. Gives me something to think about.

_____________________________

That girl is pretty kinky
The girl's a super freak

SUPERFREAK ~by Rick James

(in reply to lusciouslips19)

Post #: 17

RE: Why I prefer men over women - 9/10/2009 7:22:14 AM

suhlut

Posts: 622
Joined: 7/20/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

quote:

ORIGINAL: suhlut

In regards to BDSM... i am also a woman that finds herself interested only in Men.

Female Doms scare the crap outta me. i tend to think a Female Dom will know much more precisely where to hurt, how to hurt another female body, and being a woman myself, i know all to well the way a woman thinks.. and so.. i avoid becoming interested.

That, though, doesn't prevent me from having a sexual interest in other females. Just i tend to be more attracted to fellow submissive females, OR vanilla females. Somehow.. they seem "safer" to me. lol

Pffftttttt!! Ya big chicken.

LOL... i KNEW that i'd be getting a message something like that in reply. Figured even that it would very likely be You *smiles

but its true.. i AM a chicken.

Another thing that might be a big part of why i avoid the idea of playing with a Female Dom, is that i generally picture Female Doms as being very feminine Women.

But my own physical attraction thus far, has always been towards females, that were more masculine featured.

Not that i have any experience. Because i haven't ever gone any further then finding that i was attracted. nope... never been with a woman... yet.

_____________________________

That girl is pretty kinky
The girl's a super freak

SUPERFREAK ~by Rick James

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 18

RE: Why I prefer men over women - 9/10/2009 7:40:36 AM

daintydimples

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Joined: 7/6/2009
Status: offline

I'm a highly opinionated female who can be pushy and bitchy ...er make that switchy. That I assert myself in most human exchanges does not mean I can't be very submissive in the right power dynamic. Like most submissives, I'm not submissive towards everyone I encounter.

Perhaps the OP views fem subs as pushy and bitchy b/c she has unrealistic expectations for how they should behave.

_____________________________

Some soften by the forced reflection that comes from loss; others harden. Which are you?

(in reply to suhlut)

Post #: 19

RE: Why I prefer men over women - 9/10/2009 8:10:20 AM

Andalusite

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Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline

I'm generally heteroflexible, and am much more attracted to men than women. Women draw my eye more than men aesthetically, but my reaction is more "Ooh, pretty!" than "She's so hot!" for the most part. I'd played with other ladies before, but primarily co-topping and/or being co-topped by couples, and they generally approached me. My Master was open to the possibility of my topping a man, but preferred that I find a female bottom or submissive. With all the talk about fakes here, figuring out how to approach another woman, build a friendship, make sure we were on the same page with what we wanted from the dynamic, etc. was a bit daunting. So, I brought it up in the ladies' discussion group I've been attending for a few months. One of the ladies there, who I was already friends with, told me afterward that she'd love to play with me. So far, she's been very low drama, very interesting as a person, and lots of fun! We aren't interested in each other romantically/sexually, it's more of a top/bottom interaction with some elements of service. She isn't the *slightest* bit bitchy!

(in reply to daintydimples)

Post #: 20

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