LadyPact
Posts: 32566
Status: offline
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I haven't been spending much time on the boards lately. Generally, I pop on, take a look at the threads that I've already been participating in, and pop back off. When I did that this morning zephyr, I saw one of the comments that you made on a rather popular thread that was moved to the off topic board. (Why that happened is another matter, but this thread isn't the place for that.) After reading it, I had a feeling that you would be starting this one. I want you to know that I could tell that you were feeling a bit sad over this topic. It can be difficult to take the steps that you'll have to walk in learning to trust someone again in playing. As RavenMuse said, it is about taking things a little at a time for some folks. Gradually building that trust back up with just little increases at a time. Some folks need to start back up by playing on the softer side until that confidence comes back. It can be a process, but it absolutely can be done. Unless I'm mistaken, Malkinius doesn't have a whole lot of S/m topping experience. (Please correct Me if I'm wrong.) In this case, that could actually be an asset. The reason that I'm saying so is that as he's learning, he'll be going slow and being very careful with what he's doing. That could be the perfect speed for you as you're rebuilding as a bottom after your bad experiences. Also, watching him learn and grow, seeing those moments where he is showing concern that he *won't* harm you, is only going to add to the trust building that you are going to have to do on your end. It should keep the two of you very much in tune with the pace that the other is going. Of course, I'm going to recommend that you do a lot of communicating with each other. It will be good for both of you. In My opinion, you will be helped along by expressing your concerns before playing, seeing the play through, and then talking about it again afterward. On his end, he'll be able to talk to you about how he feels his skills are progressing, get your feedback on different toys and techniques, and express his own concerns and questions. All of these things have the potential to help the trust build. I'd like to wish the both of you the best of luck.
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The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie. Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread
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