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Role play in a D/s relationship - 2/28/2006 10:58:11 PM

Aimtoplease101

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From: San Diego, California
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I notice that a lot of pro-dommes advertise that they specialize in "role play," i.e., boss- secretary, nurse-patient, teacher-student, etc.

While I've engaged in similar forms of role play in essentially vanilla relationships in which we've wanted to introduce a "safe" element of kink (sort of like a costume you take off when you're done playing), in the committed D/s relationships I've enjoyed that form of role play is virtually non-existent. By that, I mean that instead of donning temporary fantasy character roles (the boss-secretary, etc. thing), we've established real dominant - submissive roles, or positions, that permeate the relationship entirely and seem to dispose of the desire to act out alternative personas. These "real roles" may intensify at certain times (discipline sessions, play parties, etc.), but the essential character remains the same 24/7.

Have others experienced the same divergence? Or do you find that you still engage in the fantasy role play scenarios even within a serious D/s relationship?

ATP

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RE: Role play in a D/s relationship - 3/1/2006 12:31:29 AM

Focus50

Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
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I've never had any interest in "role play" myself.

My D/s - M/s relationships are based on a dynamic of male Dominant and female submissive; they are the only "roles" undertaken. Pretend roles or "dress up" does about as much for me as a vanilla relationship - D/s hasta be *real*, if you know what I mean....

Focus.

(in reply to Aimtoplease101)

Post #: 2

RE: Role play in a D/s relationship - 3/1/2006 1:26:00 AM

Driver1961

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Joined: 9/8/2005
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He dips His lid to all..................

Good question if I understand correctly, you (aimto please) are referring to an ongoing 'under the one roof' 24/7 D/s dynamic. That I have no direct experience in except 'committed' D/s play to date with the future expectation of 'under one roof'.

In the current and future with my D/s relationship it's all YES. Yes I am still the Dominant- Boss and my Precious Ones are the secretaries (for arguments sake).

Note that this response is entirely to the 'dynamic' and parameters established in O/our relationship, which may or maynot be appropriate in the parameters established in yours or others relationships.

Hell, I want/obtain this type of fun and the fun of the post discussion only further cements the dynamic and extends the joy of respectfully exploring our kinks with each other.

I would however never be 'acting' in a submissive manner, nor would my Precious Ones 'act' Dom- this would be totally contrary to our inherent dynamic roles and would only serve to question One's strength in commitment to being either D or sub.

Warm regards to all.....
Paul, Sir to Wild and Angel

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RE: Role play in a D/s relationship - 3/1/2006 2:50:51 AM

slavejali

Posts: 2918
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I've never seen the point of role plays, the Master slave dynamic is enough for me.

Ive experience a kinda role play which was more a humiliation technique..but i wouldnt call it fun. Actually it wasnt really a role play, cept I had to act like something...i dont know if you would call that role play.

(in reply to Driver1961)

Post #: 4

RE: Role play in a D/s relationship - 3/1/2006 5:00:14 AM

Submotive

Posts: 440
Joined: 9/9/2005
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i have talked with some who seem to enjoy the idea of role play, whether that's roles of humans or animals. However, in my experience, i haven't found it necessary or even necessarily enticing. Yet, i'm sure if Master desired it ............. need i say more?

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(in reply to Aimtoplease101)

Post #: 5

RE: Role play in a D/s relationship - 3/1/2006 5:41:21 AM

Jasmyn

Posts: 1234
Joined: 2/6/2004
From: New Zealand
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aimtoplease101

I notice that a lot of pro-dommes advertise that they specialize in "role play," i.e., boss- secretary, nurse-patient, teacher-student, etc.

While I've engaged in similar forms of role play in essentially vanilla relationships in which we've wanted to introduce a "safe" element of kink (sort of like a costume you take off when you're done playing), in the committed D/s relationships I've enjoyed that form of role play is virtually non-existent. By that, I mean that instead of donning temporary fantasy character roles (the boss-secretary, etc. thing), we've established real dominant - submissive roles, or positions, that permeate the relationship entirely and seem to dispose of the desire to act out alternative personas. These "real roles" may intensify at certain times (discipline sessions, play parties, etc.), but the essential character remains the same 24/7.

Have others experienced the same divergence? Or do you find that you still engage in the fantasy role play scenarios even within a serious D/s relationship?

ATP

I enjoy having fun with many of the archetype dominatrix fantasies out there and some not so archetypal domming fantasies. Letting him know from the get go there are treats for serving Mistress well and if he plays his cards right I might just let him have one. I don't think it (role play) is a necessary thing to have to do and can understand entirely a d/s relationship that didn't include role play scening of any kind. But role play and mind farks are two play dynamics I enjoy greatly within wiiwd and so find ways to include them in my d/s relationships.

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(in reply to Aimtoplease101)

Post #: 6

RE: Role play in a D/s relationship - 3/1/2006 6:14:47 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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You could consider daddy/daughter and such type play to be exactly what this is.

For myself and my local partner, we are albatross and Captain, respectively. It's a "role" and yet it's an ongoing dynamic that we have together.

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Post #: 7

RE: Role play in a D/s relationship - 3/1/2006 6:18:42 AM

michaelGA

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"i'm not a brat, but i play one on TV"...LOL

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RE: Role play in a D/s relationship - 3/1/2006 7:53:14 AM

LthrdWolf

Posts: 92
Joined: 1/23/2006
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D/s & role play (once in awhile) are two of my favorite things ...D/s being the dynamic where I sit.Within the role play though,I would Not be Topped.

LthrdWolf

(in reply to michaelGA)

Post #: 9

RE: Role play in a D/s relationship - 3/1/2006 8:35:24 AM

thetammyjo

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Fox and I role-play from time to time.

He might be a captive foxboy taken my my panther warrior.

He might be a robot I've purchased.

He might a latex slave I've given away to a group of people or shipped off to some foreign harem in exchange for money.

I might be a spoiled little girl whose daddy does each and every thing she wants.

I might be a virginal princess whose "gift" teaches her about sex.

I might be a vicious punk who kidnaps and terrorizes my target.

And lots of other things.

Its just another type of playing that gets us out of our daily lives where we are 24/7 but also must live in and work in the vanilla world. Plus Fox was an actor in high school and we both enjoy RPGs so its fun on that level too.

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(in reply to Aimtoplease101)

Post #: 10

RE: Role play in a D/s relationship - 3/1/2006 12:14:15 PM

ProtagonistLily

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Joined: 12/27/2004
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quote:

You could consider daddy/daughter and such type play to be exactly what this is.

For myself and my local partner, we are albatross and Captain, respectively. It's a "role" and yet it's an ongoing dynamic that we have together.

Sir and I are wild about Role Play and it is not just a Femme Domme/male sub 'thing'. But it's not for everyone either.

I enjoy the costuming, the stepping out of 'normality' and the creative places we can go SMwise with a role play.

Many of the things we do in the name of BDSM could be construed as Role Play. Interrogations and mind fuck scenes often have elements of Role Play involved. Kidnapping scenes, forced sex scenes/ravishment and the like too have elements of Role Play.

I enjoy the fact that Sir likes to mix it up every once in a while and plans a Role Play. It keeps things fun, and I enjoy playing a lot of differant roles to him. While it's certainly not a requirement for anyone involved in BDSM, it can be a hell of a lot of fun.

Kassie

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(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 11

RE: Role play in a D/s relationship - 3/1/2006 4:11:18 PM

PenelopePitstop

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From: UK
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Sometimes it feels as if role-play is really looked down upon, which I don't think is fair. If we consider that in close relationships whether they be Kinky or Vanilla we give what we have, some of us have a fertile mind that reaches beyond everyday life and naturally want to share it. One thing I love about BDSM in particular is the opportunities for creativity. But I am a mental being - more 'of the mind' than 'of the flesh' I guess.

I think people tend to equate roleplay with childishness, and society is careful to warn us to stay in touch with reality as much as possible. Why is this? What's wrong with the inner child, and since when was reality so great all the time? Some people read books, some people visit art galleries, some people pretend to be someone else with someone who understands. *shrug*.

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RE: Role play in a D/s relationship - 3/2/2006 12:49:26 AM

MsPurrmeow

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Joined: 10/30/2004
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I've had several discussions about this topic lately. My first response to the term "roleplay" make me think of people pretending to be something that they are not. That makes me as uncomfortable as those who "play like a ___ in the bedroom." My thoughts have evolved lately to the use of the term as "playing with OUR roles." Roles we already have chosen for ourselves, in the case master and slave. (Yes, I believe it's appopriate to use the term 'Master' regardless of gender.)

Roleplay in 'playing with OUR roles' can include altering things slightly, using different clothing or environments, exploring archetypes that are already who we are. As Master and slave, we may be teacher and student in a metaphorical sense, but we can 'roleplay' those by changing the environment for play. We are not pretending to be something we are not, and can likely even talk to each other much as we do any other time, but with a few accoutrements and a planned environement, we can explore the archetypes and our feelings about them. Still, we are not "pretending" to be something we are not.

As for animal roleplay, since I get accused quite often, I don't think that it's roleplay when I get into a primal space during play. Growling, biting, scratching and wrestling are a part of me. Whether they are also traits of something else is not my concern. I'm not pretending when I'm there, that's really what the beast looks like in the throes of pleasure. Is that still roleplay? or is it simply a misunderstanding observer?

< Message edited by MsPurrmeow -- 3/2/2006 12:50:02 AM >

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Post #: 13

RE: Role play in a D/s relationship - 3/2/2006 7:20:31 AM

Celeste43

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There are things I have trouble with emotionally in real life. Trying them in role play is akin to dipping a toe in the pool versus jumping in at the deep end. Knowing it is role play and not real seems to allow me to get through it without panicking as quickly or hopefully, at all. Plus the outfits are hot.

Normally I don't wear a short schoolgirl skirt and tight white shirt with black bra to go to the grocery store. In r/l I have no oppurtunity to do that, but during a role play scene I can and do.

(in reply to MsPurrmeow)

Post #: 14

RE: Role play in a D/s relationship - 3/2/2006 8:10:48 AM

KnightofMists

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role-play has never been a huge involved venture for me and in my relationships. I have done role-play and do continue to do role-play from time to time. I live with a M/s dynamics with my girls, but these dynamics do not hinder my desire to experiment and try new things. Role-play starting to peek my interest more and more as I begin to consider different senarios as a means to focus on a particular aspect of my m/s dynamic and/or the "play/sexual" dynamics that exist in my relationships. I look upon role-play not as a means of pretending to be something, but as a means of focusing on a partiuclar quality or aspect of oneself that already exists. I find role-plays with this focus can allow these focused aspects to have a increased impact on ones day to day life, not to forget that there is always the possibility of new things to come out of it as well.

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RE: Role play in a D/s relationship - 3/2/2006 8:21:49 AM

foxglove716

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I love roleplay, and the more dramatic the better! props, costumes... the world is a stage for my own pervy theatre

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RE: Role play in a D/s relationship - 3/2/2006 10:39:15 AM

DiannaVesta

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From: Mid-Atlantic area
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quote:

ORIGINAL: foxglove716

I love roleplay, and the more dramatic the better! props, costumes... the world is a stage for my own pervy theatre

I agree with this. I also think that it can be a safe way for new couples to explore elements of D/s without getting extreme.

I really love ritual scenes.

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RE: Role play in a D/s relationship - 3/2/2006 10:48:21 AM

MsIncognito

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Even in my vanilla relationship I have no interest in role playing. It's just not my cuppa. I'd be horrible at it anyway - likely to start laughing at my self while trying to play the naughty schoolgirl, the unsuspecting secretary or the lusty serving wench. Yep, I'd definitely fall into a fit of giggles and that would definitely kill the whole mood.

(in reply to Aimtoplease101)

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RE: Role play in a D/s relationship - 3/2/2006 10:32:17 PM

Aimtoplease101

Posts: 319
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From: San Diego, California
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quote

I agree with this. I also think that it can be a safe way for new couples to explore elements of D/s without getting extreme.

I really love ritual scenes.

[/quote]

Do you consider ritual a form of role play, or is it just you engaging in a particular ceremony?

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Post #: 19

RE: Role play in a D/s relationship - 3/3/2006 2:04:08 AM

Driver1961

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He enters, dips His lid to all.............

Ritual a role play or just engaging in a ceremony?

Wow aimtoplease! Too easy. on the first read, but way too confusing on the second and third.

Maybe you should define what a Ritual means to you, personal importances etc.
what a 'role play' means to you and is is say a 24/7 M/s D/s . What is 'engaging' and how different is a 'ceremony' in your beliefs to a 'ritual'?

The question overlaps subjective beliefs in the definitions of these words- if that explains my confusion!

Do I roleplay with my public singing of my National Anthem or do I engage in publicly singing my National Anthem? Is this practice a ceremony or a ritual to me.

I would regard that I engage in a ritual and/or a ceremony , plus I would never 'roleplay' in a ritual for that to my personal definition of 'roleplay' in both bdsm n' nilla sense is hypocrasy of the highest order and most probably sacrilege..... But I may of course role play in a ceremony- eg sing another's National Anthem out of ceremonial practice and respect but never have my full body and soul into it than if I considered it a ritual.

Personally I think your question is too confusing without further definition and hey, is my post confused???

Maybe it's been a long deep day for me, I may have a flame grillin' coming... if so can someone offer the cheese slice and the double whammy bun?

With true respect- Paul ... Sir to Wild and Angel.

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Dance as though nobody is watching!

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Post #: 20

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