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Alcoholism - 9/23/2009 1:11:08 PM

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Not sure if this thread has been open before. I don't feel like looking through to find it.

I don't have alcoholism but I am very sure my sister does. I'm willing to take any advice I can get on how to help, whether to leave it alone and make it not my problem, or how to first confront her. I've been crying all damn lunch trying to figure out if I should call her and ask her to pick me up from work and talk to her or just bottle it up and let her figure it out on her own. I used to feel like she was my best friend and shes since deserted me. And hurt me pretty badly. I just need help, I won't complain or make excuses. I swear.

RE: Alcoholism - 9/23/2009 1:14:42 PM

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www.aa.org

Do what you think you got to do. Just remember that you may never be able to stop them.

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RE: Alcoholism - 9/23/2009 1:15:55 PM

hlen5

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Find an Al-Anon chapter near you. They can help. I think that their purpose is to help you cope when someone you love is an alcoholic. They will have good advice I'm sure.

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RE: Alcoholism - 9/23/2009 1:16:06 PM

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go down and get the facts, think intervention if that's what it takes, and rarely will just you be enough.

Ron

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RE: Alcoholism - 9/23/2009 1:19:33 PM

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Depending on how your sister is involving other people in her addiction or not, sometimes you can arrange a successful intervention. You can certainly, casually tell her you think her drinking is becoming an issue and say "I am here to support you when you are ready." The biggest thing is not to help her keep it a secret or become complicit in her self-destruction.

Ultimately, you need to take care of yourself first and do what is needed to keep sane and healthy. Consider Al-Anon Family Groups for your own support, and practical advice from people who are in your area and have been through it. Also consider a book by Melody Beattie called Co-Dependent No More.

< Message edited by MissCake -- 9/23/2009 1:20:42 PM >

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RE: Alcoholism - 9/23/2009 1:29:20 PM

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Right now, shes pregnant and I've only SEEN her have one beer. But, I'm gone all day and sleep when I get home, so I don't know. I didn't realize the signs until after I started talking to my boss/Her ex-boss, who was concerned about her well-being. He brought it up and all the signs point to it.

He also mentioned that she may have got pregnant as a last resort to help herself. Shes uprooting her entire life to move to a city thats foreign to her, as it seems to be in efforts to rid herself and start over fresh. Part of me says, "You are moving in two weeks and its not your damn problem. Suck it up and move on." and the other part, "You are moving in two weeks. This may be the last time you have to see her and try and help her. If you don't bring it up now, will anyone else jump in and see the issue and help her? You're her sister, half of her flesh and blood. Its your duty." Which do I answer to? The entire last week I've selfishly left and come home and slept. I've done nothing but run from her. She said some pretty hurtful things to me and I can't figure out if it was her or the alcohol. She is home all day by herself.. How do I know she isn't drinking after her boyfriend leaves?

If it wasn't so short notice, I'd be able to take some classes... My dad went through the same thing, but he still occasionally drinks...

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RE: Alcoholism - 9/23/2009 1:32:15 PM

hlen5

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If she is drinking and pregnant that is VERY bad news. Do what you can as quickly as you can. It's suggested that even one drink could cause Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.

edited for spelling

< Message edited by hlen5 -- 9/23/2009 1:33:37 PM >

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RE: Alcoholism - 9/23/2009 1:44:40 PM

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As far as I know, shes only done it once... And shes in relatively good health otherwise so I doubt shes going to have Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.

My mom drank coffee and smoked during her entire pregnancy with her. I have no issues except migraines!

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RE: Alcoholism - 9/23/2009 1:46:22 PM

hlen5

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Only. One. Drink. could harm the baby. Do something.

As for smoking (low birth weight) and caffiene (don't know the effects, but there ARE effects), it affects the baby, too.

My mom smoked. I don't know when she picked up smoking but my older sister weighed 8+ pounds and I weighed 5lbs9oz leaving the hospital.

< Message edited by hlen5 -- 9/23/2009 1:50:10 PM >

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RE: Alcoholism - 9/23/2009 1:46:27 PM

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There are thousands of websites from professionals, people in recovery and people like yourself concerned loved ones that can address how to spot things and how to go about trying to help if one can.

If she is an alcoholic the only way in the end she will get better if she admits her problems to herself and she wants to get better for herself. If she is pregnant and does not stop drinking a last or not so last resort is to check your local laws as I have heard it can be look at as child endangerment.

Alcoholics are clever but not smarter then everyone. Search your home from top to bottom as females and I imagine pregnant females are prone to hide their booze or take a day off and stay with her.

http://www.fetalalcoholsyndrome.org/

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RE: Alcoholism - 9/23/2009 1:53:46 PM

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Thank you. All of you.

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RE: Alcoholism - 9/23/2009 1:55:59 PM

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http://www.nofas.org/family/ http://dasis3.samhsa.gov/Default.aspx

These may help answer your questions on FAS and some ideas for how family and friends can help a woman who is pregnant and has alcohol issues.

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RE: Alcoholism - 9/23/2009 1:57:42 PM

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quote:

If she is drinking and pregnant that is VERY bad news.

quote:

ORIGINAL: xoxkittenxox

As far as I know, shes only done it once... And shes in relatively good health otherwise so I doubt shes going to have Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.

well almighty...you suspect she is an alcoholic because she had one freakin' beer?

You might have other reasons as a basis for you suspicions, but you are going to really piss her off is you are wrong....at least you would if i were her.

< Message edited by sirsholly -- 9/23/2009 1:59:18 PM >

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RE: Alcoholism - 9/23/2009 2:04:35 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CarrieO

http://www.nofas.org/family/ http://dasis3.samhsa.gov/Default.aspx

These may help answer your questions on FAS and some ideas for how family and friends can help a woman who is pregnant and has alcohol issues.

I followed the first link. Great suggestion CarrieO!!!

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RE: Alcoholism - 9/23/2009 2:04:36 PM

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Oh god. No. Not because of the one beer.

There is a whole huge history of her and alcohol that I just... Didn't find necessary to type. I mean, before she got pregnant, she drank two bottles of wine. Minimum. Before going to a BAR, she had pre-drinks... When she got home, she drank. She used to come to work at 10 and leave at noon, go home and watch TV and sleep because she was hung over. I didn't see it because I was too close to her. I've seen her drive home drunk. I've seen her drive CLEAR ACROSS TOWN drunk. She says shes not drunk. She had just one or two glasses of wine but she was slurring her words and talking non-stop.... Too many years of this to go over. Many of which, I was not apart of. But I do know shes been like this for many years.

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RE: Alcoholism - 9/23/2009 2:07:21 PM

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She drank A LOT during her first trimester. Before she knew. From June 21 to... July 20-30, she drank non-stop. AND the night before she took a test because she THOUGHT she might be pregnant, she went on a RAMPAGE and drank THREE bottles of wine, smoked an ENTIRE TWO PACKS of cigarettes and partied her ass off because she thought she WAS pregnant. "I wanted to go out with a bang!"

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RE: Alcoholism - 9/23/2009 2:16:07 PM

hlen5

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To say that's a shame is an understatement. She NEEDS intervention. I pity your poor niece or nephew to be.

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RE: Alcoholism - 9/23/2009 2:18:09 PM

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Like someone else said... I'm not going to be enough. And shes only friends with people she drinks with... I'm thinking of talking to the dad but... Shes only been with him 9 months. I don't know if he knows her as well...

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RE: Alcoholism - 9/23/2009 2:18:39 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: xoxkittenxox
"I wanted to go out with a bang!"

Tell that ignorant fuck of a sister of yours, it ain't her going out with a bang, it is an innocent child, who never did her any harm.

Or send her to me and I'll beat her fuckin stupid ass.

Ron

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RE: Alcoholism - 9/23/2009 2:21:07 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: xoxkittenxox

Like someone else said... I'm not going to be enough. And shes only friends with people she drinks with... I'm thinking of talking to the dad but... Shes only been with him 9 months. I don't know if he knows her as well...

if you know she is going out drinking, find out where and call the cops, or get as many family cousins and workers and friends down there.

it aint like if she never forgives you in the coming years you are out anything.

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