MissLeslie
Posts: 29
Joined: 9/16/2009
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Here at Collar Me, things have certainly changed over the past few years. A disturbing thing that I have noticed, just recently (within the past few months), starting to occur on almost a universal and grand scale, has been the deliberate and intentional misrepresentation, by numerous cross-dressers, about their actual sexuality and gender; in numerous places, but more importantly to Me, also right here at CM. It has become such a problem and nuisance that I felt that now was a great time to bring the matter up on the general BDSM discussion board.
In years past, transvestites (men who enjoy wearing female clothing, or females who enjoy wearing male clothing, on a regular basis (not a once or twice in a lifetime occurrence; better known by the slang term for such persons, which is male cross-dresser, or female cross-dresser, or cross-dressers. Male transvestites like to wear female clothing, and female transvestites like to wear male clothing), here on CM and elsewhere, would identify their gender as "Trans" (for transgendered). Transgendered persons have a myriad of sexualities, but their sexuality cannot legitimately be that of "homosexual" or "heterosexual". It can, however, be "bisexual", meaning that they can be sexually active with persons who are either male, or female. If a transgendered person has exclusive sexual relationships with persons of a single gender, such as only men, only transgendered persons, or only women, then they are actually "mono-sexual with males", "mono-sexual with transgendered persons", or "mono-sexual with females". They are not "gay" or "lesbian". Yet, there has become a plethora of transgendered persons here at CM who are using the term "lesbian", when that is not an accurate term.
More disturbing is the prevalence of cross-dressers who are putting on their profiles that they are "female". Male and female gender is determined solely by genetics, not by one's desire to be male or female. Today, I felt that now is about as good of a time as any to bring some clarification to the sex AND gender of a transgendered person; so that many of us can be better educated on the matter. By knowing the actual, clinical, distinctions of the type of transgendered person, and the correct sexuality for that specific transgendered person, hopefully soon these cross-dressers will stop intentionally trying to mislead people to think they are female, when they are not female at all, because more of us will be able to recognize when they are not being honest with all of us.
It is important to note that simply because someone says that they are transgendered, does not actually mean that they are. In very rare instances, such as my own, it is simply far easier to say that I am transgendered, instead of saying that I am genetically female (which I am) and happen to have additional genetic material in myself from a non-viable male twin, while I was still in the womb, prior to my own birth (which I do; needless to say, it is very difficult to manage from a body chemistry perspective). The Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary defines transgender as:
- Main Entry: trans·gen·der
- Pronunciation: \-ˈjen-dər\
- Variant(s): or trans·gen·dered \-dərd\
- Function: adjective
- Date: 1979
: of, relating to, or being a person (as a transsexual or transvestite) who identifies with or expresses a gender identity that differs from the one which corresponds to the person's sex at birth — trans·gen·der·ism \-ˌi-zəm\ noun
One can only be male or female at birth (apologies to the TG crowd for informing you of something you might not be happy about). There is not any other distinction in regards to a person's sex at birth. One cannot suddenly "identify transgender" to seek relationships with others who are "transgendered" SOLELY. That is because there are three kinds of transgendered persons, with two different chains of sexual identification that correlate to each kind:
First, we have to begin with the three kinds of transgendered persons, which are:
Pre-Op (short for pre-operation) transsexual - a person who has not yet received sexual reassignment surgery (a medical procedure where sex organs of a different sex are fitted onto, or into, the human body of a person, who was born as the opposite sex, mainly through the construction of these organs using available tissues and muscles from the surgical client; or SRS for short), but shall be doing so.
Post-Op (short for post-operation) transsexual - a person who has already undergone sexual reassignment surgery.
Non-Op (short for non-operation) transsexual - a person who self-identifies as a person of a sex different from their sex at birth, who does not intend to have sexual reassignment surgery.
The two chains of sexual identification are:
MtoF (short for Male to Female) - This is more common than the chain below
FtoM (short for Female to Male)
Some important distinctions to remember are: If a person undergoes SRS, that does not make them the opposite sex, as that is determined by genetics, and not by any surgical procedure. Those who would be identified as Pre-Op would have every intention of having SRS, those who would be identified as Post-Op have already had SRS, and those who would be identified as Non-Op do not have any intention of having SRS.
When you see the word "transition" used in concert with "transgender" (more often than not, although some people will still use the term "transsexual" to more accurately describe themselves), this means that a person is preparing for SRS. To be a person "in transition" does not mean that the person is solely wearing the clothes and representing themselves as a person of their opposite sex; regardless of whether or not they are receiving hormone therapy for the opposite sex; this is only a small part of the misrepresentations happening here at CM. Whether they be male, or female, this type of person is either a male or female transvestite. Perhaps it may be caused by simple ignorance; however, since there has been a large number of people doing the exact same thing, it seems to this OP that it is happening because there is a political agenda involved, or the intent is to simply intentionally mislead. In some instances, the outcome being desired is to disguise actual sex, in order to attract persons of a specific sex or sexual preference, who might not otherwise wish to be involved sexually or in other ways with that person, specifically because they are transgendered; or for other reasons unknown to me.
Today, transsexualism is considered a chronic long-term condition, making those diagnosed with the condition by a physician eligible to receive certain medical treatments, such as hormone therapy, and, in some states, to be eligible for social services type benefits, such as Medicaid and Welfare, enabling some medical treatments (excluding SRS in most instances) to be eligible to be paid for with tax dollars. Many gay males in San Francisco and New York City, during the height of the AIDS epidemic, were able to get anti retro-viral medications paid for through public health services, simply by having a physician diagnose them as "transsexual". In many of the larger gay and lesbian communities, such as New York City, or San Francisco, the practice continues even today.
Merriam-Webster's Online Dictionary defines the word "woman" as "an adult female person"; see below:
- Main Entry: wom·an
- Pronunciation: \ˈwu̇-mən, especially Southern ˈwō- or ˈwə-\
- Function: noun
- Inflected Form(s): plural wom·en \ˈwi-mən\
- Etymology: Middle English, from Old English wīfman, from wīf woman, wife + man human being, man
- Date: before 12th century
1 a : an adult female person b : a woman belonging to a particular category (as by birth, residence, membership, or occupation) —usually used in combination <councilwoman>
2 : womankind
3 : distinctively feminine nature : womanliness
4 : a woman who is a servant or personal attendant
5 a chiefly dialect : wife b : mistress c : girlfriend 2— woman adjective — wom·an·less \-ləs\ adjective
In other words, according to our current dictionary, and as a part of current English usage, a "woman" is a female genetically. A woman is not a male cross-dresser, or Non-Op MtoF Transsexual, Pre-Op MtoF Transsexual, or Post-Op MtoF Transsexual. A Post-Op MtoF transsexual is NOT a female, because whether one is female is determined by genetics, NOT whether or not someone had a surgical procedure; if proper English usage is applied.
You might ask why would I want to make these distinctions, and use bulletin board space to do so. My reasoning is that what I have listed above is factual information, and as both a genetic female, and being a person who is so unique that I have a genetic circumstance that has technically blurred the line somewhat as to my own sex at birth, I am still a real woman. [Note: I am a four-year psychology minor with a 4.0 GPA in college, as well as an actual female.]
In my personal opinion, the intentional blurring of gender lines, by those with a political agenda I am personally and adamantly opposed to, has been more harmful to society than helpful. I am not saying that transgendered and transsexual persons should be excluded from any part of our society. I am saying, here at Collar Me, that as a woman, I am personally mortified and sickened by those who would intentionally misrepresent their sex solely to attempt to sexually harass me, or to, in a more general manner, attempt to change the definition of female to something that I am not, and the majority of all people are not, okay with.
Allow me to point out an example of a profile that I have found here at Collar Me, without actually using someone's real profile name, and use this example to make a point:
The person in question is a long-time cross-dresser for many, many years, who now, at the age of 50, states in their profile, "I am a m2f transsexual WOMAN". They show their sex on their profile as "female", and their sexual orientation as "lesbian". This person continues on in their profile to state, "I am, and have always been, attracted to WOMEN".
If I were a lesbian, which I am not, and I was conducting a search across profiles at CM, looking for another lesbian, I might accidentally pull up this profile, which I would find absolutely disgusting! So, you might say, "what is so wrong with their profile?" What is wrong with it, in my personal opinion, is that, on one hand, perhaps because the author of the profile does not understand gender issues whatsoever, they have unintentionally chosen the descriptors "female" and "lesbian", because they do not realize what they actually are. While that is a possibility, there is another reason perhaps why their profile states that they are "lesbian", and "female". In the Collar Me profile creation screens, you have to choose a gender. Unless you select "female" as your gender, you cannot pull up "lesbian" as your sexuality, because that option is only available to you under your sexual orientation if you choose "female" as your sex.
Technically, this person, if their intent is to undergo SRS, is a Pre-Op MtoF Transsexual; they are not female. Their sexuality is technically "mono-sexual with women only"; however, this terminology cannot be chosen for a sexual orientation when you are putting together a profile here at CM. I can only speculate as to why they are not being honest with all of us, but I have a possibility as to why they might be, and it simply might not be possible for them to be honest about their actual sex.
Female transvestites (females who prefer to wear male clothing, for the purpose specifically of trying to convince others that they are male, or to "feel" male through the donning of male apparel) are virtually unheard of in societies across the world. They are so few in numbers that most persons will never come across a female transvestite in their lifetime. Alternatively, there are so many male transvestites in the world(males who prefer to wear female clothing, for the purpose specifically of trying to convince others that they are female, or to "feel" female through the donning of female apparel), that no accurate number in society has ever been able to be determined.
By their nature, transvestites are not representing themselves as the birth gender that they actually are, when they are dressed in clothing of the opposite sex. Consequently, many live two lives; one as the male that they were born as, and one as the female that they want to look, or feel like. If you are concealing your true identity to others, then you are representing yourself in a dishonest manner. One can take that statement to its logical conclusion, concerning transvestites, that they are being either dishonest with themselves, or others. Most long-time cross-dressers cannot, or will not, be capable of actually transitioning through to SRS, because of the nature of their psyche. Consider these numbers, taken from a study entitled:
A Comparative Study of Male Transvestites, Male to Female Transsexuals, and Male Homosexuals VERN BULLOUGH, BONNIE BULLOUGH, AND RICHARD SMITH, AUTHORS
73% of all male transvestites had cross-dressed before the age of 10, whereas only 27% of ALL transsexuals had EVER cross-dressed.
For each year past the age of 50, the odds of successfully completing a transition all the way to SRS are less than are less than 1 in 65. So, cross-dressers are 7 times more likely to never have SRS, whereas 27% of all transsexuals were ALSO a transvestite.
So, the problem with the profile at CM, that I have been discussing, is that it is not EVEN close to being truthful, in multiple aspects. A bigger problem with the individual is that they have managed to place themselves in a position where they can dictate the discussion topics in a chatroom, and ban those who bring up information about transvestites, that they do not want discussed. So, since they would not allow the topic of honesty and cross-dressers to be discussed in the chatroom they have built that is supposedly for Dominant "women" and submissives, I decided to bring the discussion to the bulletin board.
Bottom line: before you start writing to who you believe is a female, better read the whole profile. For if you are not gay, you may be EXTREMELY DISAPPOINTED IN WHO RESPONDS TO YOU!
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