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RE: A Depressed Slave - 9/26/2009 7:52:00 AM

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We would sit down and talk about it right away. Because if she is depressed I want to do what I can to help relieve that right away. If it I felt that she would benefit from therapy with a kink aware therapist, I would send her in that direction.

~Lashra

_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

(in reply to Sunnyfey)

RE: A Depressed Slave - 9/26/2009 10:24:27 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Sunnyfey
When your slave comes to you and tells you she thinks she maybe depressed and she needs to talk to you, how do you deal with it when you are not ready to talk about the situation that's feeding her depression?

I get ready. If Carol came to me and said she was depressed, that'd pretty much summon up my sense of duty & obligation as her owner, not to mention my sense of loving concern as her husband. If I was utterly unable to do so despite my absolutely best efforts, I would give a specific time, not more than 24 hours from now, in which I would be ready.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to Sunnyfey)

RE: A Depressed Slave - 9/26/2009 10:57:32 AM

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we dont have free talk time but i warn master if what i say may be something that is difficult or or not in thr M/s dynamics then he will usually takre me through what i need to say slowly . if i am depresssed or needing to talk because of something happening he will say it is difficult or cant spend long but he will always give some time and make a time very shortly after to continue. master has never left it without some talk. mind you it doesnt happen often

(in reply to Sunnyfey)

RE: A Depressed Slave - 9/26/2009 1:23:36 PM

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From: St George Utah
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I'm sure I'm about to catch hell for this but here goes.

Come Children come sit before the window and watch in on the world that is....

"How the fuck should I know..."

Okay so lets say that I am a firm believer in getting over your shit and learning how to deal with it as well as maintain a responsible life. I think FAR to many people are on SSRI's. I think it is too easy to get what used to be called Mothers Little Helper. So we may not be Doping them up but we are surely dealing with "Feelings" in a Drop a Pill style.

Before we get too much deeper in this quagmire I am digging myself it should be known that andi is on Zoloft, she was on Prozac before that and it started to wear thin so the Doc upped it.

I believe that Medication can be VERY helpful however I also believe that the idea is to steadily lower the doses and get the person OFF the Medication. This has proven to be more than just a little difficult. At Times it seems that the Tolerance she builds to it works to keep her having to take them. Without them she is unmanageable to herself or to me.

See if someone were to say I am Depressed because I am lonely and can't find the right person and everyone I have met has turned into an asshole/bitch, then I would say they need to work on the relationships that they choose not direct them toward a pill. You see andi had no idea why she was depressed, there was never anything "Wrong" she just was miserable had no energy and didn't know why. It was because there was no reason that I suggested she talk to our Doctor. The Doc put her on Prozac and when that was no longer effective she was upped to half a Zoloft and so far it has made things much more manageable.

Now here is where I have an issue. The whole Professional answer pisses me off. Psychologists and Psychaitrist are making guesses.... educated as those guesses may be, they are still guesses. The sheer number of people who are now considered to be needed to be on some kind of medication bothers me. The fact that certain Doctors make SERIOUS Kick Backs for every scrip the write for a particular drug and then you find out the MAJORITY of the scrops they write are for that drug bothers the hell out of me.

So If I have a depressed slave I try to find the cause of the depression if I am unable to I try to find out if there is a history or depression in the family if there is I make sure to get the whole story and if we are unable to find activities that help to cheer up the depression we go and see a doctor.

This is how I handle Depression anyway.

Steel

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Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
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For the Uber Posters
Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

(in reply to DavanKael)

RE: A Depressed Slave - 9/26/2009 1:36:30 PM

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From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
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Actually Steel m'old mate, you are not too wrong there. I don't know what the climate regarding keeping people in therapy and support drugs are in the US, and it was a joke here for a while that the US was therapist, medication and litigation happy, but it also caught on here. We tend though to look at getting people to the stage where they have no need of medications and teach them how to handle personal issues (which is what most counsellors and psychologists do here. You move from the role of therapist to the role of coach as they work on a program which they (the patients/clients hand a huge hand in developing). Mind you Clinical Depression is a well established Illness which sometimes can never be fully cured and which can and oft does require medication as well as both a psychiatrist and psychologist to help manage.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to SteelofUtah)

RE: A Depressed Slave - 9/26/2009 1:56:41 PM

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While trying to figure out what was wrong with me physically, which was pretty much unheard of or not much known about even when we got some names for the dx, I had to go to counseling on diet and mental and emotional things because for the most part... many doctor's believed it was an emotional or mental problem and some still do. Rather than admit their ignorance they had to blame the patient, just as they did with aid's/hiv before they had a name for it and understood it. Waste basket dx and all the people needed was a counseler. I had to play the game, knowing I wasn't depressed and didn't need counseling... just good medical professional's who didn't take personal, what wasn't known and what they couldn't dx and had to blame on someone else.

During the course of many, many years, they often tried to force me on medication for depression and a few other things, finding nothing they could explain physically wrong and therefore it had to be mental or emotional. I had to often do what they said just to get a few steps down the road to showing them there was far more to this.

In my experience, they medicated something they did not know or could prove... which they claimed was a mental or emotional problem, without giving more than medication as a therapy. I would go in each month... they would ask how I was doing. I thought I was supposed to be counseled so I would tell them what was happening as I would assume a counseler would want to know. How I felt or what was going on in life. I would get a nod as they wrote a new scrip for the next months medication and told to come back in a month.

Yes, medication is over used and misused in my opinion. If they are going to medicate... I think they need to do a bit more in addressing the problems... but I ran into few who did.

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

(in reply to IronBear)

RE: A Depressed Slave - 9/26/2009 6:11:53 PM

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My ex's whole family is on medication for depression. It is no wonder that one of my ums is on medication and the other should be. There is a solid familial history for clinical depression.
On the other hand, if someone needed meds for a short term depression with an end in sight, why not? Depression is miserable, and if mothers little helper can help, go for it. Weaning off them can be a pain, but no worse than the depression itself.

We aren't talking about lack of mental strength here - we are talking about brain chemistry.

edited to add - yes i went through a major depressive episode, and ended up on antidepressants and saw a therapist. The meds enabled me to go to therapy until i was strong enough to get benefit from the therapy. Now i am a box of birds

< Message edited by kiwisub12 -- 9/26/2009 6:14:14 PM >

(in reply to Lockit)

RE: A Depressed Slave - 9/26/2009 6:33:45 PM

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I know people who are on medication and agree it helps them and it is often brain chemistry, genetic's and can also be situational. Believe me, there are times when I would love a lil mother's helper! lol Just because life got me. Like when my son was in the hospital and I was fending off their defense of what the hospital did and trying to prepare and get calm at night to sleep so I would be ready to care for him twenty four seven with no help when he got out. I got a lil help. It would have been nice to have someone to talk to about it... a professional... but that wasn't going to happen. I got the med's but nothing else. But I did have a dominant friend who let me go down or what I call domme down and I answered to him with it all. I would have taken his input over the medication if I had to make a choice... but my situation wasn't something going wrong with depression or chemicals. Those that need the medication should have it!

I just think some pass the medication out in exchange for good mental and emotional health therapy that is often needed with the medication.

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

(in reply to kiwisub12)

RE: A Depressed Slave - 9/26/2009 9:56:00 PM

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Like many on here, I do agree that medication can be overused. Part of that is the fault of the doctor's and drug companies and part of it is the fault of the society we live in. Many people want that "quick fix" when what is really needed is some very difficult work in counseling.

I have also had reoccuring clinical depression since I was very young. I also am almost done with my M.S. in Psychology and work in the mental health field. While I can intellectualize the symptoms and know how to 'get over it' that simply doesn't work for me. There are certain triggers that can cause depression such as moving, death/illness, graduation, weddings, childbirth...really any major life event that will produce a lot of change. I believe it is important to know the triggers...not only for the depressed person but also for their partner. Some times we are not as aware of our own symptoms as others are.

If I was depressed and Master didn't have time to talk at that moment, He would make the time as soon as possible. Simply dismissing someone who has depression because there is something else going on is very risky. If they are seeking help, they most likely need it. Hopefully at that point most people in general would at least take the time to let the person know that while they do want to talk, they need to wait a little until they can fully concentrate on the conversation. No one has to have the perfect answer when listening to someone who is depressed, sometimes that act is enough on its own.

(in reply to Lockit)

RE: A Depressed Slave - 9/26/2009 11:43:32 PM

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~FR~

How did we go from:

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sunnyfey

When your slave comes to you and tells you she thinks she maybe depressed and she needs to talk to you, how do you deal with it when you are not ready to talk about the situation that's feeding her depression?

(note: no I'm not depressed, Me and NZ are fine, just a question I was curious about)

To talking about clinical depression and/or needing drugs or therapy for it? I read the OP as if the slave/sub was just having a bout of depression, like almost everyone gets every now and again.

_____________________________

When speaking of slaves people always tend to ignore this definition "One who is abjectly subservient to a specified person or influence."

(in reply to bluefireeyez)

RE: A Depressed Slave - 9/27/2009 1:39:54 AM

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I don't know, but I do know that there is a world of difference between being sad and being depressed. These days, many people confuse sadness with depression. Everyone on TV and the faces we see on the street all deny sadness, so the minute someone admits to feeling sad, it's depression. Depression becomes an excuse for feeling sad. Feeling sad sometimes, is a normal reaction to events that happen in daily lives. Depression, on the other hand, can be a reaction to something that happens in daily life, but that daily life event is a recurrence of a deeper event from childhood, which then, in turn, manifests itself in the form of depression. Symptoms of depression are a loss of apetite, a loss of interest in things that normally interest us, crying a lot, crying over little things, crying over movies and things of that nature, an inability to move from one spot, thoughts of suicide, and many more such symptoms. I know, I've suffered depression. My depression is usually brought on by evenst similar to events that happened in my childhood, such as being abandoned by my father. Then there are those of us who are just chemically imbalanced that way. First of all, whatever is making you sad, identify the source, then eliminate it. That's not always an easy thing to do, especially if the source is someone you love very much. If it's just a matter of meeting friends cause you just moved, then go out and meet people. You can do it, you're a gorgeous girl. There's no reason why a girl like you can't have plenty of girlfriends! Just find the members of your local BDSM community and start getting to know them. If nothing else, go down to your local non-corporate owned coffee shop and hang out and talk to people. I know you'll meet lots of friendly people wherever you are. I'm sure you're a sweet girl.

(in reply to Sunnyfey)

RE: A Depressed Slave - 9/27/2009 4:23:01 AM

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From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
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It is perfectly understandable why people confuse sadness with depression for one of the classic symptoms of clinical depression is a feeling of sadness, sadness so deep that it weighs upon you like a heavy weight.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to DarlingSavage)

RE: A Depressed Slave - 9/27/2009 5:14:02 AM

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From: Apple County NY
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If he's unwilling to help me with this major a problem, then he wouldn't be the man I believe him to be. Now if it's a real problem and he's incapable of solving it, he's still capable of picking up the phone and making me an appointment with my doctor and coming along if necessary.

But if he's going to bail, then I don't want him anyway because he'd bail if I got cancer also.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to Sunnyfey)

RE: A Depressed Slave - 9/27/2009 5:54:11 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: OrionTheWolf

Too funny. Many answers I read of yours indicate to me, that you feel the roles may actually be reversed, yet the labels are in opposition.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Acer49

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sunnyfey

When your slave comes to you and tells you she thinks she maybe depressed and she needs to talk to you, how do you deal with it when you are not ready to talk about the situation that's feeding her depression?

(note: no I'm not depressed, Me and NZ are fine, just a question I was curious about)

The dominant needs to stop what he/she is doing and do whatever is necessary so that he/she is able to do to address the submissive's concerns. The dominant accepted the sub's submission, now it is time for the dominant to show that he/she is worthy of it. Now of course, there is only so much he/she can do. the dominant must reassure the sub the he/she is there for them and assist the submissive to get whatever medical treatment is required

Well lets get real here, what good is a loopy slave? the sooner she is well, the sooner she can serve

_____________________________

Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.
Harvey Fierstein

(in reply to OrionTheWolf)

RE: A Depressed Slave - 9/27/2009 6:10:32 AM

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I hope you never suffer depression mate . Thats all I can say. Once it s comes to your door you will not view people who suffer from depression as loopy. Trust me I had the same negative perception of people with depression as you now have but once it comes to your door, you will change your ideas. I hope it never does
Kevin

(in reply to Acer49)

RE: A Depressed Slave - 9/27/2009 6:13:01 AM

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The end result was not what I was commenting on, but the manner in which you say you would arrive. Many people have opinions on what a slave's responsibilities are and what an owner's responsibilities are. If the slave is actually severely and possibly clinically depressed, as many have taken this topic to, then I as an owner would assure them that at the moment I am not in the right frame of mind to listen and assist them. I would tell them to give me a short while, similar to someone else, no longer than 24 hours, and I would then let them get everything out. I would assess the situation, and if this seemed like something close to serious, I would find a therapist that is familiar with the way we live and take her to them.

While I take care of my property very well, I am not going to put it in the light of catering or pandering to them. I am not going to allow the roles to reverse in some way, so that my girl believes that I am there to serve her. This would just make my girl more depressed.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Acer49
The dominant needs to stop what he/she is doing and do whatever is necessary so that he/she is able to do to address the submissive's concerns. The dominant accepted the sub's submission, now it is time for the dominant to show that he/she is worthy of it. Now of course, there is only so much he/she can do. the dominant must reassure the sub the he/she is there for them and assist the submissive to get whatever medical treatment is required

quote:

ORIGINAL: Acer49

Well lets get real here, what good is a loopy slave? the sooner she is well, the sooner she can serve

_____________________________

When speaking of slaves people always tend to ignore this definition "One who is abjectly subservient to a specified person or influence."

(in reply to Acer49)

RE: A Depressed Slave - 9/27/2009 6:22:48 AM

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From: Apple County NY
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As far as those who don't advocate giving much priority to someone who is 'just feeling blue' is that for those of us with a history of clinical depression, feeling down can be the precursor to another damned bout of it. Being fourth generation mood disorder, I know the importance of heading it off at the pass.

So if I came to him and said I was feeling down and needed his help, I would not much appreciate being told to get over it, or that he was too busy to hug me, or that I should feel better by serving him and being a better slave. Because none of that would help, it would all make it worse.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to IronBear)

RE: A Depressed Slave - 9/27/2009 11:45:52 AM

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Orion, if she's severely depressed, you may well not have 24 hours. Those of us with a history of suicidal depression can attest to that.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to DesFIP)

RE: A Depressed Slave - 9/27/2009 11:58:39 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: OrionTheWolf
While I take care of my property very well, I am not going to put it in the light of catering or pandering to them. I am not going to allow the roles to reverse in some way, so that my girl believes that I am there to serve her. This would just make my girl more depressed.

Heh, hence why I'm glad I don't lay claim to anything other than what I am. That way, I have no conflicts about "being there to serve Carol" which I very definitely am. In fact, making Carol happy & complete is, without a doubt, the single most important life's work I have. For me, at least, it's all about the authority, not the purpose to which that authority is turned.

I'll go way further than Acer... it's not simply that Carol being dysfunctional impedes her ability to serve me. Carol being depressed, even in small ways, is an affront to everything I believe about how the universe ought to be.

<----- "service master"

*chuckles*

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to OrionTheWolf)

RE: A Depressed Slave - 9/27/2009 6:50:45 PM

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My girl does not have a history of suicidal depression, I would not accept property that does. I would notice long before it ever got to the severe stage. Even with all of this said, if I am not capable mentally or emotionally to deal with it, then pushing it could make the situation worse.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Orion, if she's severely depressed, you may well not have 24 hours. Those of us with a history of suicidal depression can attest to that.

_____________________________

When speaking of slaves people always tend to ignore this definition "One who is abjectly subservient to a specified person or influence."

(in reply to DesFIP)

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