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MadameMarque -> RE: Are There any REAL Female Dominants? (10/4/2009 6:00:00 PM)
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To aspiring submissives with similar feelings as the original poster...
If you feel unwanted and you want some positive reinforcement, you want a little group boost here, that’s fine. Go for that.
If you say, I’m not getting any positive feedback from dominant women being interested in me, and I’m feeling a bit unwanted, and you ask for support or suggestions, you’ll probably get some of both, and if someone tries to shoot you down for it, that’s their problem. The way this conversation here is going…You obviously can’t see it, but imagine how it feels to a dominant woman, to read what you’ve written here. You make me want to say, hey, I’ve got difficulties of my own! In your mind, dominant women are not real people, yet.
I met one of my submissives online some time ago, who is very dear to me, though we’re not in that relationship any more. One thing about him I really adored was his boldness. It wasn’t the boldness you might think of that’s aggressive. Despite his being quite inexperienced and truly a submissive and shy personality (other submissives of mine have been alpha personalities), still he went for it and lived it. He went with his instincts, he was candid and open, he was always conscious of my humanity,– these are all qualities that are often blown out of the water by people being so freaked out that they’re finally connecting with another and living their fantasies, that they distance themselves from the other person, from their own feelings, from the experience.
I respected that he was bold enough to recognize what he wanted and to seize the opportunity when it was presented, to live out his desires and fantasies. I appreciated that he accepted the reality of what he wants and of what dominant women want. He could conceive of my having my own drives and urges, – after all, he had his own - that they might be as perverted as his, or more, some similar to his, some different.
When I see a submissive already arguing that they’re ‘not a doormat,’ not weak, that they’re really intelligent, they’re real men, I see a big red flag. This is going to be an issue with them; they’re looking for it to be an issue. Who said anything bad about you, who took anything away from you, just because you’re a submissive? Give me somebody who’s cool with their own urges, whose focus is on the joy of finding someone so that they can glory in their desires, together.
If you understand that those mythical “Real Dominant Women” are people, too, and you can see that sometimes getting their support and sometimes giving them support, is different than making them responsible for you, as this thread seems to do,
- it should help you find and relate to someone special. When the opportunity arises, be that kind of ‘bold’ I’ve tried to describe.
That's what I would say.
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