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reasearching individuals on the internet - 3/15/2004 9:13:28 AM

perverseangelic

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i have a friend who is currently searching for a submissive. he recently met someone through another online dating thing and was in contact with her for a little while. (read, a day or so)

because he met her on the internet, he ran her screen name through google and came up with information about someone using the same screen name and with similar identifying features, however while she had claimed to be 19 on the site he met her on, this information indicated she was only 16.

because he wasn't totally sure this was the same person, he asked her about it, telling her he'd googled her name out of curiosity and just wanted to make sure everything was kosher.

she flipped. told him this was totally uncalled for and that this violated trust and that she believed what he told her. that he'd have to go find a sub stupider than her becuase she wasn't falling for this.

my question. IS that uncalled for? is it bad/wrong/untrustworthy to google someone's name or generally reserach them?

he's new to the scene, and i've never been in a similar situation, so i have no prior experience. it seems like common sense to me, but i would very much appreciate other opinions.

thank you

RE: reasearching individuals on the internet - 3/15/2004 11:33:29 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: perverseangelic

i have a friend who is currently searching for a submissive. he recently met someone through another online dating thing and was in contact with her for a little while. (read, a day or so)

because he met her on the internet, he ran her screen name through google and came up with information about someone using the same screen name and with similar identifying features, however while she had claimed to be 19 on the site he met her on, this information indicated she was only 16.

because he wasn't totally sure this was the same person, he asked her about it, telling her he'd googled her name out of curiosity and just wanted to make sure everything was kosher.

she flipped. told him this was totally uncalled for and that this violated trust and that she believed what he told her. that he'd have to go find a sub stupider than her becuase she wasn't falling for this.

my question. IS that uncalled for? is it bad/wrong/untrustworthy to google someone's name or generally reserach them?

he's new to the scene, and i've never been in a similar situation, so i have no prior experience. it seems like common sense to me, but i would very much appreciate other opinions.

thank you

First I'd like to ask, why google would have a minor's information. Or mine either as far as that goes? Why would they know how old I am or what I look like?

Other than those obvious questions. I think checking people out is good. However, I know I would never do it on the net. I'd go to a group they belong in. I may ask on a BBS for a munch they belong to. Or a group. Ask people to e-mail me in private. Still, even that way you never know who may be his online friend just covering for the person.
There really is no sure way to check somebody out unless you actually do the footwork on them. Of course unless you have an in with the FBI or some law enforcement agency.

Although just the fact she hit the roof when she found out he was even trying to look. I'd stay away from her. She apparently has something to hide. Why else get so defensive?

Anyway I wish him luck on his search.

(in reply to perverseangelic)

RE: reasearching individuals on the internet - 3/15/2004 11:36:54 AM

perverseangelic

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what information you can find about someone depends on what they have online.

if you take someone's sn and run it through google, you'll come up with other pages that sn is used on.

he found an online journal. so it wasn't a bunch of personal information, rather something that someone using the same sn and similar identification had made, that happened to have age on it.

as to doing real footwork, is that more acceptable than doing an internet search? why?

i mean, i'd do both. but then, i regularly google my name 'cause i'm an attention whore.

(in reply to sub4hire)

RE: reasearching individuals on the internet - 3/15/2004 12:11:01 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: perverseangelic

what information you can find about someone depends on what they have online.

if you take someone's sn and run it through google, you'll come up with other pages that sn is used on.

he found an online journal. so it wasn't a bunch of personal information, rather something that someone using the same sn and similar identification had made, that happened to have age on it.

as to doing real footwork, is that more acceptable than doing an internet search? why?

i mean, i'd do both. but then, i regularly google my name 'cause i'm an attention whore.

Ok so assuming, I have a webpage. I do a google search on myself. I should come up with something somewhere?
Can you access IP address using google? I mean if I were to do something like that. I'd want to make certain I am finding the same person.
I have an ebay account, paypal, billpoint..well you get the drift here. I use the same name on all accounts. Yet at some places I go to the name is already taken...hence using the same name as I do.
It just would'nt be good enough info for me to really know this is the same person.

I would do the footwork IF I could. That way I know when people are badmouthing the person I'm trying to check out. I also get a feel for them. To know if they are telling the truth or are just bad mouthing the person because of a bad chat or conversation.
Too many lies are told over the internet. I don't care to be part of them if I can help it.

(in reply to perverseangelic)

RE: reasearching individuals on the internet - 3/15/2004 5:49:59 PM

perverseangelic

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if you have a webpage it will probably come up, but there's no way to be certain it's you.
that's why he approached her instead of jumping to weird conclusions.

it was a legality thing since he's in his 20's and the age listed on the stuff he found was definatly under 18. it's not fun being charged with scary things.

i appreciate the fact that you have to check on what you find out, but i just wondered why one would get worked up about another doing research

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RE: reasearching individuals on the internet - 3/15/2004 6:50:55 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: perverseangelic

*snipped*

because he met her on the internet, he ran her screen name through google and came up with information about someone using the same screen name and with similar identifying features, however while she had claimed to be 19 on the site he met her on, this information indicated she was only 16.

*snipped*

she flipped. told him this was totally uncalled for and that this violated trust and that she believed what he told her. that he'd have to go find a sub stupider than her becuase she wasn't falling for this.

my question. IS that uncalled for? is it bad/wrong/untrustworthy to google someone's name or generally reserach them?

Trust but Verify, Trust but Verify, Trust but Verify - it's a mantra - try it you will like it.

It seems to me your friend used his head. The net being what it is.... and people being what they are ... you should use every tool at your disposal to verify who your talking to is REALLY who your talking to.

The girl's reaction when he confronted her, rather than being a reasonable response, is the response of someone caught hiding something.

I don't think your friend violated trust in any fashion. I do think he did the right thing by bringing his concerns to her.

Besides, what adult wants to take a chance with a 16 year old?

Peace and Light
ShadowHwk

(in reply to perverseangelic)

RE: reasearching individuals on the internet - 3/16/2004 1:47:20 AM

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As long as the information is in the public domain, no biggie. I have been "googled". It actually makes sense to "google" someone by name, handle, name and city, etc. If they are stupid enough to give you their social security number, use that. (They should not because identity theft exists {and is made easy by your tax dollars, but that is off topic.

})

As for Google turning up things on a minor, so? If Mrs. Walsh's third grade class had Tabatha Jones winning the "Why I like Cheese.," essay contest and a google search turns up the newspaper article, so? We are not talking sealed court records here.

Like a lot of things a person upset about an invasion of privacy when the have no reasonable expectation of any is usually trying to hide something. ("Usually" exceptions exist. Oh, BTW, Do you know there is no Doctor-patient privilege anymore? {It is easy to go off topic when talking about the right to privacy.:)})

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(in reply to perverseangelic)

RE: reasearching individuals on the internet - 3/17/2004 1:11:48 AM

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I read the original post with interest.
I've never 'googled' Myself before,but have been rather surprised that I showed up at all & as it happens I dare say I'll 'google' people in the future & can't quite think why it'd not occurred to Me to do so before .
So,--no,I don't think it was uncalled for.
I think the person( I hesitate refer to them as a 'young lady' as it seems she wasn't what she claimed) had a rather revealing reaction.
When 'meeting' someone online, I think any checks one carries out are totally justified.

(in reply to perverseangelic)

RE: reasearching individuals on the internet - 3/17/2004 4:48:36 PM

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You can google a phone number and get an address. Does not work on all numbers as of yet, but there are many.

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RE: reasearching individuals on the internet - 3/17/2004 7:26:38 PM

perverseangelic

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i should think googling a phone number would only bring up an address if you have placed that somewhere on the internet. as far as i'm aware, google doesn't actually host any information.

so if you have your phone number and address on the interenet, it can be found. otherwise it can't.

(in reply to ProDomme)

RE: reasearching individuals on the internet - 3/17/2004 7:28:50 PM

perverseangelic

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re: to myself

i lied. i just tried googling my home number and found my parents address! that is so cool! so, if you're listed in your local phone book (sometimes) you can find it on google.

i say sometimes b/c i googled my number i have here, and nothing came up at all.

but i'd assume if you've given someone you're phone number, listed in the phone book, you realize he/she -will- be able to find your address.

(in reply to perverseangelic)

RE: reasearching individuals on the internet - 3/17/2004 8:13:36 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: perverseangelic

re: to myself

i lied. i just tried googling my home number and found my parents address! that is so cool! so, if you're listed in your local phone book (sometimes) you can find it on google.

i say sometimes b/c i googled my number i have here, and nothing came up at all.

but i'd assume if you've given someone you're phone number, listed in the phone book, you realize he/she -will- be able to find your address.

http://www.anywho.com

reverse look up.

Unlisted is the way to keep your number...lower profile on the grid.

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“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
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RE: reasearching individuals on the internet - 4/8/2004 8:22:37 AM

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Important information for newbies
~BUMP~

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RE: reasearching individuals on the internet - 4/8/2004 9:04:02 PM

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Trust but verify - excellent, sage advice. One of the first things that I do is a search on the person's name, city, and any other pertinent information I have. I have found some very interesting things this way. Hey, this is my life we're talking about. I trust ME and what I learn about someone, and what I feel, sense, or have a vibe about (no, not that vibe).

Everyone is responsible to protect themselves.

Attachment (1)

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RE: reasearching individuals on the internet - 4/9/2004 5:35:37 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressKiss

Trust but verify - excellent, sage advice. One of the first things that I do is a search on the person's name, city, and any other pertinent information I have. I have found some very interesting things this way. Hey, this is my life we're talking about. I trust ME and what I learn about someone, and what I feel, sense, or have a vibe about (no, not that vibe).

Everyone is responsible to protect themselves.

How very well said. I completely agree.

You'd be AMAZED at what you can find out about someone via public records. Especially in a medium like the internet where it is very easy to get lost in the illusion of what you want to see (or what someone else wants you to see). Public records can be a bit of a reality check.

Reality checks are a good thing when you're talking about your life.

< Message edited by MizSuz -- 4/9/2004 8:35:56 AM >

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“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

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RE: reasearching individuals on the internet - 4/12/2004 8:44:48 AM

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Trust and Verify absolutely, I so agree...and I am such a ludite! I never knew that about Google!

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RE: reasearching individuals on the internet - 4/12/2004 1:57:33 PM

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Lady Becket,

Use their name in quotes along with a city to limit it. John Smith might have 10,000 entries that are not him. "John Smith + Nashville" will only have 1,000 entries that are not him.

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RE: reasearching individuals on the internet - 4/12/2004 6:34:06 PM

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I had a rather nasty experience similar to this one.

I met a woman through a D/s forum, and spent well over a year in her company. We made plans to meet real time (she was on the other side of the US from me) on a few occasions, and she always backed out.

After about a year of this, we sort of went our seperate ways... and by chance, I punched her name into google. I was shocked when I found out that instead of being 33 years old...she was 43. Many of the things she had told me, I found out to be untrue, and lies to cover the fact that she did not feel she would be happy in a relationship with a man who was nearly 15 years her junior. While in and of itself, I understood... I felt betrayed, and that the relationship we shared was nothing but fantasy. That was the first and last time I ever had a 'long distance' internet relationship.

She and I have remained tenuous friends, and I learned a valuable lesson.Stephan

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RE: reasearching individuals on the internet - 4/12/2004 10:53:42 PM

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I googled myself and I found out that everything I knew about myself was wrong. Damn! Now I can't even trust myself.

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RE: reasearching individuals on the internet - 4/13/2004 12:45:33 AM

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I've found many interesting things by careful use of search technologies. Among the most useful is to run a phone number through a reverse directory. One number came up with the address of a telemarketer, another from a female sub supposedly in California came up with an odd area code on Caller ID and turned out to belong to a young man in Arizona. Strangely enough, I once got a call that was claimed to be from a well-known bondage model and checking the number revealed that it genuinely was her I was speaking with! Obviously sometimes verification can have pleasant results!

We all routinely use strategies in the real world to verify the veracity of what someone says by things as simple as their personal associations, but on the net we have no connection to that person besides the wire that runs into your computer. Because this level of anonymity is so extremely high, I think it becoems all the more important to use extra diligence to determine what we can about who we are talking to.

Frankly, public information is just that -- public. If someone is uncomfortable with such information being disclosed I have to wonder what they have to hide?

John

(in reply to Estring)

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