Padriag
Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
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I generally agree with your list Jali, but there's a couple I wanted to remark on.
quote:
ORIGINAL: slavejali
2. Only allowed to call them on a cell or at work
There are an increasing number of people who only have cell phones, no land lines, so this is not a sure sign of anything but the times anymore. Presently I have one cell phone and no land line, in a couple months I'll be adding a second cell phone but still not sure if I will get a land line... I just don't have a need for one.
As for calling at work, there are sometimes very good reasons for not giving out your work number. One being some jobs don't really allow for phone calls (I know if I hire a sub contractor who is frequently on the phone with his gf I tend to hand him $50 and tell him to get the hell off my job site.), and second you may not want someone you don't know well to have your work number where they could cause you problems if they turn out to be a nutcase. That's something for both dominants and submissives to keep in mind.
quote:
10. Lack of previous D/s bdsm experience and lack of ability to prove what they are saying of past experience is true.
Which leads to the question... how do you prove your past experience online or on the phone? Its not like most of us have a resume and list of references from BDSM clubs and former play partners, particularly if you don't "play" at a lot at parties and such.
quote:
12. Obvious disgruntlement with life.
I tend to worry about these too.
I also tend to worry when someone says they want a relationship... but all they talk about are fetishes, sex and play.
I tend to wonder when someone seems to have no hobbies or personal interests of any kind.
I tend to wonder when you ask them what was their happiest memory, and they don't have one.
I tend to wonder when they never talk about family, friends or a social life.
I tend to wonder when they quote from CastleRealm constantly.
I tend to wonder when they talk constantly about how their last master/dom/etc. taught them to do things, while ignoring what I just said (and on that I wonder for about 5 min and then give them a polite good-bye).
I tend to wonder about someone who claims to have four years of experience... and they are only 20 (I just saw this on a profile today).
I tend to wonder about anyone who never admits to being wrong... about anything... ever.
I tend to wonder about anyone who says they're worthless.
I tend to wonder about some of the screen names I see.
I tend to wonder about anyone who seems frequently angry or antagonistic.
I tend to wonder about anyone who claims various lifestyle authors know them personally, and then list virtually every well known name in the lifestyle (while some certainly may know all these people, if these claims are all true then John Warren has about 10,000 friends who talked to him just yesterday... I'm guessing his phone doesn't stay quite that busy.)
I wonder about anyone who claims to be part of a secret european house, secret old south society, etc. and then talks about it online but can't document it or discuss any details or invite you to any meetings. And of course gets mad when you question them about it, but still never offers any answers.
I wonder about submissives or slaves looking for a new dominant, who brag about who they were trained by. To me that's as tactless and unappealing as telling me all about your ex-boyfriend.... on the first date.
I wonder about dominants who constantly refer to other peoples ideas, publications, etc. to justify their own behavior or beliefs.
I wonder about anyone who seems to constantly be online at all hours of the day and night.
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Padriag
A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer
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