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RE: Warning signs - 3/7/2006 6:22:04 AM

angelic

Posts: 1807
Joined: 1/24/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes

quote:

I wonder about anyone who seems to constantly be online at all hours of the day and night.

Sometimes we get up to pee, see something interesting on tv on the way back to the computer, sit down to watch it and fall asleep on the couch. When we finally stumble to bed, we forget we're logged in!

ROFLMAO that's exactly what happened to me last night... watched tv went to bed... all the while i was still logged in LOL (occassionally the blonde permeates the brain)

_____________________________

~....and once you have tasted flight, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return.~ -- Leonardo de Vinci

(in reply to windchymes)

Post #: 41

RE: Warning signs - 3/7/2006 6:25:00 AM

windchymes

Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: angelic

quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes

quote:

I wonder about anyone who seems to constantly be online at all hours of the day and night.

Sometimes we get up to pee, see something interesting on tv on the way back to the computer, sit down to watch it and fall asleep on the couch. When we finally stumble to bed, we forget we're logged in!

ROFLMAO that's exactly what happened to me last night... watched tv went to bed... all the while i was still logged in LOL (occassionally the blonde permeates the brain)

Me too! I sat down here to find myself logged into to this site, another one, my email and two IM programs! That's why I started laughing when I read that line of his post!

Good thing the kids are grown and I live alone!

(in reply to angelic)

Post #: 42

RE: Warning signs - 3/7/2006 7:11:36 AM

artglfr

Posts: 235
Joined: 4/8/2005
Status: offline

talking about their ex and what they have done to him...hiring a detective..

Immediately telling me their whole life story with Nothing Good ever happening in their life.

Unable or unwilling to communicate about anything except them, them, them. I am a Dom and feel she could at least ask...about me.

Some very positive things include;

showing up on time

completing assignments promptly

having a cheerful and caring attitude

(in reply to windchymes)

Post #: 43

RE: Warning signs - 3/7/2006 8:13:23 AM

ExistentialSteel

Posts: 676
Joined: 1/18/2005
Status: offline

Yeah, a lot of individual online time depends on your type work, sleep and computer patterns. I'm not sure I'd put much stock in that one.

_____________________________

For those who are like Roman Candles leaving bright trails in the night sky while the crowd watches until the dark blue center light bursts into magnificent colors and the crowd goes, ahhhhhhhhhh.

(in reply to windchymes)

Post #: 44

RE: Warning signs - 3/7/2006 9:10:18 AM

truesub4u

Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ExistentialSteel

Yeah, a lot of individual online time depends on your type work, sleep and computer patterns. I'm not sure I'd put much stock in that one.

Neither can I... stay at home mom... something to do besides laundry and Soaps... during day after kids home from school... doing what they need to or want to... then they're in bed.. i'm doing what i want again... lol .... so really no telling when I might pop on to argue and opinion either... <smiles>

_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

(in reply to ExistentialSteel)

Post #: 45

RE: Warning signs - 3/7/2006 10:04:16 AM

RiotGirl

Posts: 3149
Status: offline

quote:

I've got good credit... because I DO NOT OWN plastic... so yeah.. I can see one not having enough cash on hand for gas when the evening went further and better than planned.

im with you here.. no plastic for ME. its how ppl get in debt

quote:

8. Words aren't met by actions. Says one thing, body and actions say something else. (Thats a "Run like the wind" red flag for me)

i whole heartedly agree!! IE they say they're going to call at so and so and dont.

They're not reliable

They're racist or even using racist slang (i'm in florida.. i run into it alot)

They act ignorant

They cant admit they're wrong

they cant add you to their c.com profiles or make a note they arent single. Especially after they INSIST yours says you are taken = ) Or you have to bring it up for one or the other to happen.

Secretive - secretive ppl have things to hide.

they have too many "best" female friends that cycle every few months.

Something doesnt seem right and the explanation doesnt work for you

they have a God complex

when they look at women all they can see is the best sexual position.. or their best arg.. feature.

when you know more about their sexual preferances then what they want in a sub

when they cant own up to mistakes and instead explain them away

when their story doesnt add up

they have no self control or self discipline

They expect you to do something they themselves cant

lame, lame excuses.

they cant work out an issue with you

you end being the whipping boy more then once (its all your fault)

their family warns you about them

they tell you its all in your head (what you think isnt real)

when you scene you worry about your safety

you never measure up

they expect you to be the best sub in the world - but give no energy into helping you achieve that.

they throw "you're not submissive" at you (yet expect you to act so anyways)

AND BEST OF ALL - when you check them out on the down low.. they fail

many many more.. but there's a starter

(in reply to truesub4u)

Post #: 46

RE: Warning signs - 3/7/2006 10:24:50 AM

WDMsub

Posts: 11
Joined: 3/2/2006
Status: offline

These are all meant to be warning signs and not everyone will have the same requirements. For me, when you are just in the getting-to-know you stage, if they don't have enough money to put gas in their car to get home is a warning sign.

Not all credit cards are going to lead you to the pit of financial disaster. So, you don't want plastic in your life, fine. Then I would carry a $10 or $20 in my purse/wallet as a safety back-up. If they don't have $10 or more to spare for that....warning sign! If they aren't repsonsible enough to replace it....warning sign!

Debit cards and ATM cards are not the same as credit cards. If someone has decided to live their lives without easy access to cash such as these, then they should have figured out by now that emergencies can occur.

(in reply to RiotGirl)

Post #: 47

RE: Warning signs - 3/7/2006 11:51:54 AM

truesub4u

Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Ok this idiot is old enough to know that emergencies can accure (I know you didn't call me an idiot.. I did) How people handle things are just as different as any other thoughts and ideas. I have NO gas cards, no credit cards, no JC Penny's or Sears cards. I have no ATM or debit cards. Bottom line.. Cash or stay the hell home! Lay-a-way... gotta love that one too!

So instead of disputing the gas tank..... let's just agree to disagree.. that shit does happen. We handle it the best way we can. If it means giving Joe Blow $5 for gas.. to get rid of them.. i'm going to do it... if it means giving Joe Blow $5 for gas so he can get home safely... so he can return another time.. i'm gonna do it.

Now If he lives that much farther... another county... state.. yes.. he best be prepared. But I also like the idea.. that one would spend his last dime.. to get a chance t spend a little time with me.. even on a getting to know each other stage... One time.. tsk tsk.. second time.. WALK..

< Message edited by truesub4u -- 3/7/2006 11:52:30 AM >

_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

(in reply to WDMsub)

Post #: 48

RE: Warning signs - 3/7/2006 11:53:45 AM

yourMissTress

Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

quote:

If it means giving Jow Blow $5 for gas.. to get rid of them.. i'm going to do it... if it means giving Jow Blow $5 for gas so he can get home

I misread that...but what a great laugh!!!

_____________________________

Tress

"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother

(in reply to truesub4u)

Post #: 49

RE: Warning signs - 3/7/2006 12:21:36 PM

windchymes

Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline

So, I guess we should melt down all those plastic cards along with all the guns.

(in reply to yourMissTress)

Post #: 50

RE: Warning signs - 3/7/2006 12:30:37 PM

yourMissTress

Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

I see that you are replying to me, but I haven't the foggiest of clues what your comment means or to what it's referring.

_____________________________

Tress

"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother

(in reply to windchymes)

Post #: 51

RE: Warning signs - 3/7/2006 12:31:29 PM

truesub4u

Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes

So, I guess we should melt down all those plastic cards along with all the guns.

You can melt credit cards.. but keep hands off my guns.. lol

_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

(in reply to windchymes)

Post #: 52

RE: Warning signs - 3/7/2006 12:40:55 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

Well, one thing that I am rather cautious of is if they have wannabe in their nick....

like MasterWannabeofEarth or subwannabesuzi......

Hope this helps *smiles*,

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to truesub4u)

Post #: 53

RE: Warning signs - 3/7/2006 1:26:13 PM

SimplyV

Posts: 351
Joined: 11/5/2005
Status: offline

Umm.. Padriag.. I resemble way too many of yours.. *laughs* Nice to see you on the boards again.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Padriag
I tend to wonder when someone seems to have no hobbies or personal interests of any kind.

I can make some up if you want.. Umm.. I'm an internet junkie. I like bowling? Oh.. I have some crossstitch stuff I haven't done in years (well not since I got off of bedrest). OOOh.. Oh .. I got one.. I like art. YEAH.. ok.. I'm safe. Phew.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Padriag
I tend to wonder when you ask them what was their happiest memory, and they don't have one.

I don't do well with happiest. I have several happy memories.. but I don't do well with questions like.. what you're favorite ____? I get too stressed out. What if I pick a happiest memory now and its not really the happiest memory. Crap, then I'll have lied right? Omg.. Just pick a memory.. Crap.. Now I cant even think of one. So the reply you'd usually get would be "Umm.. uh.. I don't know."

quote:

ORIGINAL: Padriag
I tend to wonder when they never talk about family, friends or a social life.

Well.. usually people have to "earn" to hear about my family, because really .. most just don't want to know. I don't really have much of a social life.. does talking about my dog help?

quote:

ORIGINAL: Padriag
I wonder about submissives or slaves looking for a new dominant, who brag about who they were trained by. To me that's as tactless and unappealing as telling me all about your ex-boyfriend.... on the first date.

So really, you don't want me talking about my ex's on the first date? I thought that was normal protocol. Dang it. *runs off to make notes in her dating protocol book*

quote:

ORIGINAL: Padriag
I wonder about anyone who seems to constantly be online at all hours of the day and night.

Ya got me. I am always online even when I'm not at my computer. Constantly online. My computer is always on and ready for me to "surf" at any moment. I even have a laptop in the living room that I log in on when I'm cleaning house, cooking, or watching tv. I am an internet junkie. I have been since I first found the internet in 92... most of my rl friends are internet junkies too. I like geeks.. what can I say?

Oh.. and I sleep in the same room with my computer btw.. so when I'm done at night.. I just fall right into bed.

V
edited cuz I can't spell.

< Message edited by SimplyV -- 3/7/2006 1:27:03 PM >

(in reply to Padriag)

Post #: 54

RE: Warning signs - 3/7/2006 1:36:33 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

When they constantly try and persuade you that you NEED someone to take care of you- even if it's true.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to WDMsub)

Post #: 55

RE: Warning signs - 3/7/2006 1:56:16 PM

slavejali

Posts: 2918
Status: offline

SimplyV: You made some good points, it really is an individual thing and there are very few absolutes.

I was just thinking about the time I spent on the internet when Master and I were chatting. I was basically a recluse and just sat online. Long story to this..but basically part of what I was doing was greiving and giving myself time to heal (partner had died). Which brings up another issue too, a lot of the time I spent online, I was just playing around, relieving the stress, I cant tell you how many times I got messages from people saying how bad a slave I was, or that I was just a player etc...people taking how I was acting or being or talking online as an assessment of my nature and intentions.....which was far from the reality. Guess my point here is, you cant even take peoples "type" as an assessment of character or whether the person is a player or not. There are so many variables. Master took the time to get to know me..the real me...and He got rewarded with the most fantastical slave who ever lived *grin* hehe

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 56

RE: Warning signs - 3/7/2006 2:01:20 PM

MrDiscipline44

Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline

Hmmm, warning signs for me:

1) If they aren't open and honest

2) Over emotional reactions to little triggers.

3) Overly defensive.

4) Ultimatums in their profile.

5) If they think being a submissive/slave means they will just sit around the house looking "pretty"

6) If they think doing chores around the house is not part of service.

7) Lack of any punctuation.

8) If their profile is only sexually based.

9) If they can't have a disagreement without being derrogatory

10) If being a submissive/slave is just a label they think they can apply to themselves.

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

(in reply to WDMsub)

Post #: 57

RE: Warning signs - 3/7/2006 2:24:52 PM

Padriag

Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyV

Umm.. Padriag.. I resemble way too many of yours.. *laughs* Nice to see you on the boards again.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Padriag
I wonder about anyone who seems to constantly be online at all hours of the day and night.

Ya got me. I am always online even when I'm not at my computer. Constantly online. My computer is always on and ready for me to "surf" at any moment. I even have a laptop in the living room that I log in on when I'm cleaning house, cooking, or watching tv. I am an internet junkie. I have been since I first found the internet in 92... most of my rl friends are internet junkies too. I like geeks.. what can I say?

Oh.. and I sleep in the same room with my computer btw.. so when I'm done at night.. I just fall right into bed.

V
edited cuz I can't spell.

Thanks, I make time for it when I can.

What I meant was someone who actually seems to really be online almost all the time. Not just idling, but constantly sitting in a chat room chatting for example, no matter when you log in (maybe you got up in the middle of the night to pee) you stop in for a few minutes and there they are chatting away. It seems like all they do is sit online and chat, 7 days a week. Now something about that just don't seem normal to me. When do they work? Don't they ever go spend time with friends? Go to Walmart? Starbucks? Anywhere?

::wonders off to wonder about V::

_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to SimplyV)

Post #: 58

RE: Warning signs - 3/7/2006 2:32:23 PM

Padriag

Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavejali

SimplyV: You made some good points, it really is an individual thing and there are very few absolutes.

I was just thinking about the time I spent on the internet when Master and I were chatting. I was basically a recluse and just sat online. Long story to this..but basically part of what I was doing was greiving and giving myself time to heal (partner had died). Which brings up another issue too, a lot of the time I spent online, I was just playing around, relieving the stress, I cant tell you how many times I got messages from people saying how bad a slave I was, or that I was just a player etc...people taking how I was acting or being or talking online as an assessment of my nature and intentions.....which was far from the reality. Guess my point here is, you cant even take peoples "type" as an assessment of character or whether the person is a player or not. There are so many variables. Master took the time to get to know me..the real me...and He got rewarded with the most fantastical slave who ever lived *grin* hehe

Jali, you actually kind of hit on something I do take seriously. When I meet a prospective slave I assess them. A lot of that is done through passive observation, just seeing what their habits are, etc. Taking the example of yourself, your behavior indicated something a dominant taking an interest in you should have been aware of, that you were in a grieving process. Dominants should always take the time to learn a bit about the past history of a submissive, particularly the traumas and other events that might affect them emotionally. Sometimes this is a temporary situation, like your case appears to have been, but in others its long term. By knowing about it and being aware of it the dominant can be better prepared to deal with it, or simply choose to remain friends with the submissive until they get past that point in their life. I've seen some dominants who love to talk about how slaves are property... but forget that they are human property, and human beings will always have emotions and histories that affect their behavior. That's just reality.

_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to slavejali)

Post #: 59

RE: Warning signs - 3/7/2006 3:05:59 PM

slavejali

Posts: 2918
Status: offline

quote:

Taking the example of yourself, your behavior indicated something a dominant taking an interest in you should have been aware of, that you were in a grieving process.

You know Sir, it was probably exactly that which brought Master and I together. Like He didnt put any pressure on me at all. There was no way I was *seeking* a relationship.He was just in the beginning someone who gave me an outlet to talk. We never cybered, as in played out fantasies online. Sure we chatted about our past experiences in Master slave/relationships in the course of conversation..and about our other experiences in life...He also spent time over the other end of the phone line listening to me sob my heart out. I became very attached to him, very quickly..most likely because of the space I was in at the time..as our connection developed, he had enough sense to agree that we would wait a specific amount of time to meet knowing what we were both dealing with. You know, in truth, I really dont know what attracted him to me, I was a frigging mess...but then again...He was capable of seeing behind all the stuff I was exhibiting, Master really does have a good handle on where people are coming from etc. I've really got a lot to be grateful to Master for...especially for taking on this apparent faker, lier, not serious enough, non-adherer of internet protocal and girlie of too many contradictions to be real. *grin*

(in reply to Padriag)

Post #: 60

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