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Patience in a Dominant. - 10/20/2009 10:15:39 AM

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How important is patience in a Dominant?
I would say that my partner is the most patient man I have ever met and yet at the same time he is the most impatient.
Is that too cryptic?

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RE: Patience in a Dominant. - 10/20/2009 10:38:01 AM

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Good Morning Maria. My best to Steve.

That's kind of a loaded question you've got going there. In My case, how patient I am depends on the context of the situation. For example, I'm in a LD power dynamic. Being patient about the time spent apart makes My life a lot less stressful. There are a lot of things that I can wait for in life because they are worth waiting for.

In other areas, I don't consider Myself patient at all. Without complicating the matter too much, I expect to be obeyed. (This is a general statement, please. No scenarios about triggers that bring flashbacks or drama nonsense.) If I give a command, I expect it to be carried out and if there are no other obstacles, I expect that to be done right away.

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RE: Patience in a Dominant. - 10/20/2009 10:42:38 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz

How important is patience in a Dominant?
I would say that my partner is the most patient man I have ever met and yet at the same time he is the most impatient.
Is that too cryptic?

it is paramount

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Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.
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RE: Patience in a Dominant. - 10/20/2009 11:52:35 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz

How important is patience in a Dominant?
I would say that my partner is the most patient man I have ever met and yet at the same time he is the most impatient.
Is that too cryptic?

patience is necessary on both ends in my opinion. however, there is a line as well. i think patience without accountability is doomed to fail. boundaries should be well defined and maintained. if there are specific terms involved in an act or situation that require patience they should be clarified. on the other hand, if it is something ongoing and patience is necessary, it can be stated and reinforced should the submissive forget, desire encouragement, or require correction.

porcelaine

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RE: Patience in a Dominant. - 10/20/2009 11:58:03 AM

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He's very patient. There's a push to have things done but there's no threat or anger. Just an irresistable force. And that matters to me.

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RE: Patience in a Dominant. - 10/20/2009 1:24:41 PM

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Patience is a relative term and is also considered a good trait to have so therefore people like to assume they have it and this is especially so with dominants.

My best answer would be patience depends on how the two people interact and other personality characteristic of the dominant. Obviously patience is a good thing with most things but it is not always good nor always a must have in a situation. A submissive with little or zero self control and discipline will probably not work for a extremely patient person as they will simply not feel the pressure to do something to get different results. Also some people can be impatient in some things and that does not necessarily mean they cannot think straight or control themselves.

Most of us are patient in some things and impatient in others depending on our personalities and experiences. When thinking if we are patient we tend to remember more what we are patient for then thinking if we are impatient in some thing.

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RE: Patience in a Dominant. - 10/20/2009 1:33:44 PM

agirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz

How important is patience in a Dominant?
I would say that my partner is the most patient man I have ever met and yet at the same time he is the most impatient.
Is that too cryptic?

Nope. M is the*most* and the *least* in all sorts of things. Depends entirely on what, when, how and why.

I've never met such tenderness and such harshness. Such warmth and such chilly coldness. Such long held patience and such lack. Such careful care and such indifference.

I'm pretty much the same .

agirl

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RE: Patience in a Dominant. - 10/20/2009 1:39:22 PM

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Thanks for the replies and with all of them I agree.
I have to admit that I sometimes read things on here that show signs of very little patience in places where there clearly should be some.

Steve actually has very little patience when it comes to what he considers unreasonable acts by me. He allows nothing to slip and is ever consistent in his expectations. An example of that may be me typing something to these boards and not quite hearing what he is saying to me in the background! With something like that he has absolute zero tolerance.
The things that make him lose his patience never seem to change a jot and I believe that his persistent and unwavering intolerances are the very thing that captured my heart and made me want to get things right. I remember my mum used to say to us 'I see everything because I have eyes in the back of my head'! well he really does have eyes in the back of his head and I absolutely get away with nothing and I say that happily as I don't actually want to get away with anything.

On the other hand he has the patience of a saint when I am upset or need to talk or when he is teaching me how to navigate our boat or how to read weather charts. If I find something difficult he shows endless patience until I get it right.

The combination of the two makes me feel very safe. Its not something I ever looked for or even thought about before meeting Steve and I came into this side of things quite by accident but I can't imagine life without it now.

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RE: Patience in a Dominant. - 10/20/2009 1:43:56 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz

How important is patience in a Dominant?
I would say that my partner is the most patient man I have ever met and yet at the same time he is the most impatient.
Is that too cryptic?

Nope. M is the*most* and the *least* in all sorts of things. Depends entirely on what, when, how and why.

I've never met such tenderness and such harshness. Such warmth and such chilly coldness. Such long held patience and such lack. Such careful care and such indifference.

I'm pretty much the same .

agirl

You said it better than I did.
Actually I have to say that every time I see your smiling face on that picture it says to me 'this is one of the happiest women in the world'!!!

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RE: Patience in a Dominant. - 10/20/2009 2:24:21 PM

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I could say patience is a virgue that I have some lacking in. But with my Wolf he is always patient with my rebellousness and normally only get's short with me when it comes to my college work. Other then that i like to push buttons and he knows it. It is why I'm his, since he said he didn't want me to change.....although sometimes I bet he wishes that my collar was a choker. lol

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RE: Patience in a Dominant. - 10/20/2009 3:48:29 PM

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I don't think I've ever met anyone as patient as Master. I'm always amazed at just how much so he is which is exactly what I need in my life so for me it's extremely important.

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RE: Patience in a Dominant. - 10/20/2009 4:48:57 PM

whiteslavebitch

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To me it's one of the most important aspects of MasterK other than that he's dominant and a sadist.

My ex husband had no patience whatsoever, and I can no longer deal with that kind of situation.

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RE: Patience in a Dominant. - 10/20/2009 5:13:19 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz
How important is patience in a Dominant?

To me, it is of utmost importance. I am, by nature, a pretty impatient person. Master has more patience than anyone I've ever known and loved. It's a great balance

I admire patience and He has lots of it................luci

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RE: Patience in a Dominant. - 10/20/2009 5:47:42 PM

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Patience is a virtue. Do you want a partner devoid of virtue?

What may seem to be impatience, can actually be intolerance for a lack of excellence, lack of awareness, lack of self will, lack of openness.

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RE: Patience in a Dominant. - 10/20/2009 6:15:46 PM

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~Fast Reply~
Patience is a necessity on both sides of the kneel. Sir was the most patient person I have ever known, and for that I'm very glad. His patience always amazed me.

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RE: Patience in a Dominant. - 10/20/2009 6:18:45 PM

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Patience is an indication of self-control, and patience at the right times for the right reasons strikes me as very dominant. Think of the patience of a cat waiting outside a rodent hole, stock still, for hours sometimes until the little creature sticks its head and shoulders out. And then... the cat pouces. And wins. Kitty - 1, mole -0. Now imagine you're the mole and your dominant is the cat. :)

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RE: Patience in a Dominant. - 10/20/2009 6:33:47 PM

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patience is just one aspect of discipline... so you tell me.. how important is discipline in a dominant?

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RE: Patience in a Dominant. - 10/20/2009 7:24:43 PM

Surrenderwithin

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When it comes to Master I believe he makes a conscious choice about what he wishes to be patient or impatient in regard to. He chooses to act on a situation rather than react to one. He has the capacity for extreme patience and the rationale to know when to toss it by the wayside.

As to discipline: I have always believed that with self discipline one does not need external discipline. I could not serve a Master whom I did not see as being in control of himself and his immediate controllable surroundings. I believe one cannot exercise or choose to not exercise patience without a great deal of self discipline.

The two go hand in hand.
Maggi
15 Nz points

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RE: Patience in a Dominant. - 10/20/2009 10:51:32 PM

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quote:

patience is necessary on both ends in my opinion. however, there is a line as well. i think patience without accountability is doomed to fail. boundaries should be well defined and maintained.

I like this and agree with this, to an extent. Accountability is also a two way street. Before one gets to that point, one needs to ask oneself did I provide all the tools needed to perform the job, did I communicate my expectations well enough? If all being in the affirmative, then I think it's time to evaluate the performance.

Again, great quote!

Aramis

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RE: Patience in a Dominant. - 10/21/2009 1:06:43 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

patience is just one aspect of discipline... so you tell me.. how important is discipline in a dominant?

Do you mean ones own discipline as in self control?

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