quote:

Your past is always a part of you because it shaped who you are today. I think it's possible to be re-made but the key to that is accepting the past and making peace with the fact that it happened and it's behind you, then focusing all of your energy into becoming the person that you want to be - whether that's with someone guiding you or not.

Of course, this is just my opinion..

quote:

ORIGINAL: AnimusRex

OK, slipping into my most empathetic Paternal mode:

Sweetheart, your goals are admirable, to overcome your abusive past, and become a better person.
However, you (unknowingly) putting yourself on a trajectory that has no good ending.
If you take away nothing from my post but this,
realize that finding someone who will both fuck you and fix you is bullshit.

You are asking some man somewhere to become your psychotherapist, lover, Father, confessor, guide, Mentor, and minister.
These are not compatible roles for any man to play. In fact, several of them are mutually exclusive- if a man tries to do one, he will fail at the other.
Specifically, anyone who is your lover cannot possibly be your therapist. His own interests will blind him to telling you what you need to hear.

Being the "Little Girl Lost" who is sexually available, gullible, and helpless, only makes you a tempting target for predators.
No wonder you are swarmed with emails- every broken disfunctional man who can't handle an adult woman is probably salivating over the prospect of being the White Knight who will come riding to the rescue of the damsel in distress, thereby not only becoming the hero in his own story, but getting easy sex and adoration in the process.

And you? You will be nothing more than the useful tool for his needs, his self aggrandizement, and your very real emotional issues will be papered over with pop psych jargon and heaping doses of guilt and shame over not feeling better. Your weakness will instead become your greatest asset- the better you get, the less he will love you, since it is your helplessness that attracted him in the first place.
My suggestions:
1. Get yourself some real help from a real mental health counselor who isn't trying to get into your bed;
2. Get a circle of (non-sexual) friends who can give you a sense of belonging and support;
2A. Stay away from men for now; maybe gay men can be honest with you, but straight men are only going to be pulled into your orbit of self-medication and disfunction. (p.s. "I only want to be your friend" ranks up there with "we can just cuddle" in the Male Bullshit Hall of Fame. Fair warning.)
3. Focus on what you have to offer a man other than easy pussy. Can you be a wife? A mother to his children? A bill-paying partner in life?
4. When you can approach men without labeling yourself as a victim or damsel in distress, then and only then will you be in a place to get a serious life partner.

You were not given a choice of parents; but your life choices, and your partner is the two of the thingsin life that you truly can select; don't let your past fuck up your future.

I wish you well

quote:

ORIGINAL: AnimusRex

OK, slipping into my most empathetic Paternal mode:

Sweetheart, your goals are admirable, to overcome your abusive past, and become a better person.
However, you (unknowingly) putting yourself on a trajectory that has no good ending.
If you take away nothing from my post but this,
realize that finding someone who will both fuck you and fix you is bullshit.

You are asking some man somewhere to become your psychotherapist, lover, Father, confessor, guide, Mentor, and minister.
These are not compatible roles for any man to play. In fact, several of them are mutually exclusive- if a man tries to do one, he will fail at the other.
Specifically, anyone who is your lover cannot possibly be your therapist. His own interests will blind him to telling you what you need to hear.

Being the "Little Girl Lost" who is sexually available, gullible, and helpless, only makes you a tempting target for predators.
No wonder you are swarmed with emails- every broken disfunctional man who can't handle an adult woman is probably salivating over the prospect of being the White Knight who will come riding to the rescue of the damsel in distress, thereby not only becoming the hero in his own story, but getting easy sex and adoration in the process.

And you? You will be nothing more than the useful tool for his needs, his self aggrandizement, and your very real emotional issues will be papered over with pop psych jargon and heaping doses of guilt and shame over not feeling better. Your weakness will instead become your greatest asset- the better you get, the less he will love you, since it is your helplessness that attracted him in the first place.
My suggestions:
1. Get yourself some real help from a real mental health counselor who isn't trying to get into your bed;
2. Get a circle of (non-sexual) friends who can give you a sense of belonging and support;
2A. Stay away from men for now; maybe gay men can be honest with you, but straight men are only going to be pulled into your orbit of self-medication and disfunction. (p.s. "I only want to be your friend" ranks up there with "we can just cuddle" in the Male Bullshit Hall of Fame. Fair warning.)
3. Focus on what you have to offer a man other than easy pussy. Can you be a wife? A mother to his children? A bill-paying partner in life?
4. When you can approach men without labeling yourself as a victim or damsel in distress, then and only then will you be in a place to get a serious life partner.

You were not given a choice of parents; but your life choices, and your partner is the two of the thingsin life that you truly can select; don't let your past fuck up your future.

I wish you well

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Hello, AbandonedGirl.

I'm sorry for what happened to you, and hope that you can overcome your past to a degree.

To expand on what MMagic said, there are those who will try to take advantage of you.  Be careful.

I've sent you a message on the other side.