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RE: The dr reported my problems with DAddy and the cops... - 11/11/2009 4:44:46 PM

Toppingfrmbottom

Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
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Angel I had a beautiful day out today, got some fabric for the dress I want t o make spent the day with a friend and her daughter, tried some new yogurt since she lives right by an organix grocery store, I tried greek yogurt and I tried soy, and then I booked myself an appintment with a psychiatrist for tomorrow. She is very glad t hear I am having productive thoughts like working once a week and learning to maybe drive on down the line.

quote:

ORIGINAL: barelynangel

My real friends and people who're in my life everyday helping me through the pain and the confusion, they know the truth, and that's all that counts.

Good for you. Keep that in mind.
\

angel

(in reply to barelynangel)

RE: The dr reported my problems with DAddy and the cops... - 11/11/2009 8:29:13 PM

Posts: 6363
Joined: 3/8/2006
Status: offline

I hope you have health insurance. You spend 90% of your life at the doctors office.

(in reply to Toppingfrmbottom)

RE: The dr reported my problems with DAddy and the cops... - 11/12/2009 4:14:27 AM

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Toppingfrmbottom

Angel I had a beautiful day out today, got some fabric for the dress I want t o make spent the day with a friend and her daughter, tried some new yogurt since she lives right by an organix grocery store, I tried greek yogurt and I tried soy, and then I booked myself an appintment with a psychiatrist for tomorrow. She is very glad t hear I am having productive thoughts like working once a week and learning to maybe drive on down the line.

quote:

ORIGINAL: barelynangel

My real friends and people who're in my life everyday helping me through the pain and the confusion, they know the truth, and that's all that counts.

Good for you. Keep that in mind.
\

angel

Tfb... have you been keeping up with your IOP?

_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm

30 fluffy points!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

(in reply to Toppingfrmbottom)

RE: The dr reported my problems with DAddy and the cops... - 11/12/2009 7:55:31 AM

Toppingfrmbottom

Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline

yes, actually I do have health insurance, and I never really been a lot before this mental health business, but goodness knows I'll be at the pych office everyday for 2 weeks for three hours doing IOP * intensive out patient program* And that does seem like 90 percent of life right now lol.

Specially since life is school and daddy and now and again a friend, and is now flowering and opening up a great deal more to include others, even if they are my therapy group and sewing lessons hehe.

quote:

ORIGINAL: servantforuse

I hope you have health insurance. You spend 90% of your life at the doctors office.

(in reply to servantforuse)

RE: The dr reported my problems with DAddy and the cops... - 11/12/2009 7:57:12 AM

Toppingfrmbottom

Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
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angelika It starts today:) that'd be 11-12-09 for those of you who're not on the same time stamp as us at my home:)

I made sure to be awake and up early, I started waking up with daddy most days anyway, so I just said I need to be up by the time you leave, he started getting his coat on an all that good going to work glub, and I sat up and began being aware of the world.

I must say the world is very cold at 7 am lol.

quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

quote:

ORIGINAL: Toppingfrmbottom

Angel I had a beautiful day out today, got some fabric for the dress I want t o make spent the day with a friend and her daughter, tried some new yogurt since she lives right by an organix grocery store, I tried greek yogurt and I tried soy, and then I booked myself an appintment with a psychiatrist for tomorrow. She is very glad t hear I am having productive thoughts like working once a week and learning to maybe drive on down the line.

quote:

ORIGINAL: barelynangel

My real friends and people who're in my life everyday helping me through the pain and the confusion, they know the truth, and that's all that counts.

Good for you. Keep that in mind.
\

angel

Tfb... have you been keeping up with your IOP?

(in reply to angelikaJ)

RE: The dr reported my problems with DAddy and the cops... - 11/12/2009 2:07:16 PM

Toppingfrmbottom

Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
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Ok, so I am on depacoat, and abilify and I told my dr if he don't listen to me when I tell him I am being made sick by the medication, I won't continue to see him I will ask for someone else, and he prommised from now on to listen to the complaints I have about side affects if I do have side affect complaints.

(in reply to Toppingfrmbottom)

RE: The dr reported my problems with DAddy and the cops... - 11/12/2009 2:25:43 PM

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Toppingfrmbottom

Ok, so I am on depacoat, and abilify and I told my dr if he don't listen to me when I tell him I am being made sick by the medication, I won't continue to see him I will ask for someone else, and he prommised from now on to listen to the complaints I have about side affects if I do have side affect complaints.

There are no medications that are without side effects.
Hopefully this will be a more compatible mix for you.
I have known a lot of people who have been helped greatly by Abilify.

_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm

30 fluffy points!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

(in reply to Toppingfrmbottom)

RE: The dr reported my problems with DAddy and the cops... - 11/12/2009 3:20:21 PM

Toppingfrmbottom

Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
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yeah, I know, but some have more side affects that are serious than others, and he wasn't listening to me when I told him I was very very sick from one, so it's a good thing I told him, because some dr's don't listen and you do have to put your foot down and stand up for yourself.

quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

There are no medications that are without side effects.
Hopefully this will be a more compatible mix for you.
I have known a lot of people who have been helped greatly by Abilify.

(in reply to angelikaJ)

RE: The dr reported my problems with DAddy and the cops... - 11/12/2009 3:32:27 PM

Toppingfrmbottom

Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
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I been walking a lot lately and today I notice I don't huff so hard
when I gotta hustle any more! It still hurts to walk and I am still out
of breath but it's not as bad as it was 3 days ago!

(in reply to Toppingfrmbottom)

RE: The dr reported my problems with DAddy and the cops... - 11/15/2009 12:02:34 AM

Posts: 274
Joined: 5/7/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

It may sound very cold but this, and all of the other threads like it, is like the trainwreck that never ends.

There is something here that I don't really believe you understand. The world does not revolve around you. Just because you want to justify something in your mind, doesn't make it so.

Granted, I'm not your Daddy, but I'm going to tell you this. If you were in My life, and you tried to tell Me that you had every right to hit Me in anger because you were triggered, I would take Myself out the door and never look back. I wouldn't care if you were male or female. That crap would happen exactly once, and I would walk. My own slave has ADHD and PTSD and I promise you that if he ever raised a hand to Me, I'd release him so fast his head would spin. In the almost three years that I have been on CM, this is the most destructive, co-abusive, co-dependent relationship I have read about.

It would be My opinion that you do not need a weekend stay at a facility. You need some extensive, long term care, which probably should start with a thirty day program, and go to out patient after that. There are a multitude of problems here that can not be fixed over a the course of a couple of days.

When it comes to following the rules of that facility, you need to suck it up. Those rules are in place for the safety of everyone. That comes over and about your personal happiness.

If even half of the time that was spent on these threads was put into some real work for some real solutions, I think you'd be a much happier person.

I do want you to know that I am not personally attacking you. I do think you waited far too long to get help, but now that you are, you need to stick with it. You need to make serious changes and get out of the mindset that everybody should do everything the way you want them done. The possibility exists that maybe your way or Daddy's way, hasn't worked out so well. It's time to start doing the positive things.

Ttftb,

i am in total agreement with LadyPact - this relationship is toxic. You and your partner appear to both be toxic people, and by staying together, you are completely destroying eachother. i am fully aware of how brutal this sounds, however, it does appear that you both keep going back for more; and all those in your life who love you are being hurt too, by having to watch this war-zone day in day out. Not to mention the innocent fur-child that is being traumatised anddragged into it. (i'm not sure if you have any actual children in this house, i certainly hope not).

Violence and abuse is disgusting and TOTALLY unacceptable, no matter who the one doing it is; and no matter what reasons they may give to justify this appalling behaviour. The situation that you are in is a vicious circle that is just going to keep going round and round and round to infinity - you are clearly miserable, and in all honesty, i don't see the way in which you relate to eachother changing or becoming healthy any time. Domestic violence can only escalate.

You need to get on the right psych meds, meds that don't make the symptoms of your illness worse; and you need to work on recovery/remission before thinking about being in ANY relationship. You getting better has to come first, and that won't be a quick fix, i can assure you of that. The two of you need to separate and work on your individual issues and psych conditions - neither of you will ever get well if this doesn't happen. This is the only way the two of you will be able to focus solely on your own development and recovery.

Stop excusing away your unacceptable behaviour by blaming others - stopping this cycle is ON YOU. Taking responsibility is what being an adult is about. We are all responsible for our own behaviour, our actions and our futures.

i apologise if this is not what you were wanting to hear, but sometimes it takes an outsider who doesn't have a stake in the situation, to see and point out what state things REALLY are in.

k.

_____________________________

Proud to be owned and cherished by Master Charles (Gauge)

i wear His collar on my heart; and wherever i am, i know He is with me.

His love and my devotion and service to Him are stronger than leather or steel.

(in reply to LadyPact)

RE: The dr reported my problems with DAddy and the cops... - 11/15/2009 12:05:20 AM

Posts: 274
Joined: 5/7/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Toppingfrmbottom

Angel I had a beautiful day out today, got some fabric for the dress I want t o make spent the day with a friend and her daughter, tried some new yogurt since she lives right by an organix grocery store, I tried greek yogurt and I tried soy, and then I booked myself an appintment with a psychiatrist for tomorrow. She is very glad t hear I am having productive thoughts like working once a week and learning to maybe drive on down the line.

quote:

ORIGINAL: barelynangel

My real friends and people who're in my life everyday helping me through the pain and the confusion, they know the truth, and that's all that counts.

Good for you. Keep that in mind.
\

angel

Yay!! You're taking steps to wellness - i'm proud of you :)

k.

_____________________________

Proud to be owned and cherished by Master Charles (Gauge)

i wear His collar on my heart; and wherever i am, i know He is with me.

His love and my devotion and service to Him are stronger than leather or steel.

(in reply to Toppingfrmbottom)

RE: The dr reported my problems with DAddy and the cops... - 11/23/2009 11:15:24 PM

Posts: 63
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

It may sound very cold but this, and all of the other threads like it, is like the trainwreck that never ends.

There is something here that I don't really believe you understand. The world does not revolve around you. Just because you want to justify something in your mind, doesn't make it so.

Granted, I'm not your Daddy, but I'm going to tell you this. If you were in My life, and you tried to tell Me that you had every right to hit Me in anger because you were triggered, I would take Myself out the door and never look back. I wouldn't care if you were male or female. That crap would happen exactly once, and I would walk. My own slave has ADHD and PTSD and I promise you that if he ever raised a hand to Me, I'd release him so fast his head would spin. In the almost three years that I have been on CM, this is the most destructive, co-abusive, co-dependent relationship I have read about.

It would be My opinion that you do not need a weekend stay at a facility. You need some extensive, long term care, which probably should start with a thirty day program, and go to out patient after that. There are a multitude of problems here that can not be fixed over a the course of a couple of days.

When it comes to following the rules of that facility, you need to suck it up. Those rules are in place for the safety of everyone. That comes over and about your personal happiness.

If even half of the time that was spent on these threads was put into some real work for some real solutions, I think you'd be a much happier person.

I do want you to know that I am not personally attacking you. I do think you waited far too long to get help, but now that you are, you need to stick with it. You need to make serious changes and get out of the mindset that everybody should do everything the way you want them done. The possibility exists that maybe your way or Daddy's way, hasn't worked out so well. It's time to start doing the positive things.

+1111111!!!!

Hitting is NOT ACCEPTABLE even if you are triggered, i have PTSD, PMDD, and ADD, I am managed, stable, and under control 98% of the time, and in that 2% of the time if i raised a hand to Daddy, I cant even fathom the reaction! I may not be the most obedient girl (haha) but I would never strike in anger, even if I flipped my shit. Counseling, and yes, psychiatric facilities is what you need. You may find them traumitizing, but there is one for everyone, there are alot of very good kinds of counseling out there, and a long term stay at a facility will straighten you out and teach you how to take care of yourself.

(in reply to LadyPact)

RE: The dr reported my problems with DAddy and the cops... - 11/25/2009 10:23:34 PM

Posts: 24
Joined: 11/25/2009
Status: offline

I didn't read all of this, but it seems like the only place(s) ya'll should see each other until you called down are Relationship councilling and anger management. I'm not tryin' to be mean or what not, but from what I've seen that's what I am suggesting.

(in reply to sireninchains)

RE: The dr reported my problems with DAddy and the cops... - 11/27/2009 1:56:04 AM

Posts: 274
Joined: 5/7/2009
Status: offline

Seriously peeps, this is getting to be like a ping-pong match - back and forth, back and forth, back and forth ad infinitum........

If someone always justifies their actions by playing the "look what you made me do!" card, they are resistant to any assistance in getting out of their rut.

k.

_____________________________

Proud to be owned and cherished by Master Charles (Gauge)

i wear His collar on my heart; and wherever i am, i know He is with me.

His love and my devotion and service to Him are stronger than leather or steel.

(in reply to KingCrazyEyes)

RE: The dr reported my problems with DAddy and the cops... - 11/27/2009 4:58:37 AM

Posts: 4240
Joined: 7/1/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KateyCaine

Seriously peeps, this is getting to be like a ping-pong match - back and forth, back and forth, back and forth ad infinitum........

If someone always justifies their actions by playing the "look what you made me do!" card, they are resistant to any assistance in getting out of their rut.

k.

K?
Has I told you recently that I lubs you???

Kali

_____________________________

“Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it.”
~~Sweedish Proverb

(in reply to KateyCaine)

RE: The dr reported my problems with DAddy and the cops... - 11/27/2009 5:41:18 AM

hazze

Posts: 9
Joined: 8/22/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Toppingfrmbottom

IT IS ABSOLUTELY A OK TO PLACE BOUNDRIES ON SOMEONE WHO IS TRIGGERING YOU, and when they don't listen to your boundaries for your own safety, then yeah it's their fault what they get.
Do not dare tell me I don't. If your showing your ass and acting like a fool and baiting a sick person who's in a panic attack, by flying off the handle and saying inflamitory things, like fine what ever do what the fuck you want, and I tell you to leave and you say no, and I tell you to stay away from me, you better damned well cause I fucking warned you. I warn him all the time I can not tell if you're friend or foe when I am in a panic you will be hurt, I take responcibility for my part in this, and if you, and this is generic you, come at me anyway knowing you have fucked up and set off a fight, and are now trying to hug me and sooth it over, AFTER YOU ASSAULTED ME and I know I am unstable I have every right to tell you do not come near me do not touch me STAY AWAY. then if you ignore that sorry mother fucker you asked for it.

It sounds to me that you are making excuses for yourself.
Yes a lot of the behaviour you described is very wrong, destructive and quite possibly a deliberate attempt to provoke you.
BUT THERE IS ONLY ONE PERSON RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR ACTIONS - YOU.

Until you take that on board your temper will always be out of control.

We all play little psychological games with each other, its part of human nature. There’s a lot of information on this if you look it up.
One of the games people play is trying to get the other person to loose control.
Person A hurts Person B's feelings probably without realising it, B feels weak an powerless because B won't address this issue, perhaps A removes themselves from the situation making B feel like they've been hurt then ignored. Being ignored is a real trigger point for many people. So B says and does the things they know drives A nuts until A loose all control.
Now Person B feels in control again because person A is a screaming mess.

Or person B hits person A and feels bad about it, but if he can provoke Person A into behaving badly and hitting him then he can think "well she does the same, or she treats me badly, so I am not a bad person for being violent".

All this stuff about "I warned him" is utter rubbish. It’s what every domestic abuser in the world says. You’re just trying to rationalise your bad behaviour.
Be proactive and end the relationship, give yourself some time outside of a relationship to think about what you want and need, what behaviours you need to change.

Getting help isn't something that just happens to you.
I don't think you need to go to a psy ward or hospital.
Excuses and trips 'to be cured' won't get you anywhere.

You sound like a smart caring person who's got caught in a very negative tailspin.
Back yourself.
Take responsibility. End the relationship, be proactive and try and understand your self. Find the relationship you deserve and the behaviours you need to sustain this.

< Message edited by hazze -- 11/27/2009 5:50:34 AM >

(in reply to Toppingfrmbottom)

RE: The dr reported my problems with DAddy and the cops... - 11/27/2009 2:49:25 PM

Posts: 274
Joined: 5/7/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kalista07

quote:

ORIGINAL: KateyCaine

Seriously peeps, this is getting to be like a ping-pong match - back and forth, back and forth, back and forth ad infinitum........

If someone always justifies their actions by playing the "look what you made me do!" card, they are resistant to any assistance in getting out of their rut.

k.

K?
Has I told you recently that I lubs you???

Kali

Awwww...i lubs you toooo xxxxxx *Big furry hug from little meep* xxxxx

_____________________________

Proud to be owned and cherished by Master Charles (Gauge)

i wear His collar on my heart; and wherever i am, i know He is with me.

His love and my devotion and service to Him are stronger than leather or steel.

(in reply to Kalista07)

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