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My Colossal Mistakes - 11/3/2009 1:58:14 PM

howahkan

Posts: 137
Joined: 10/13/2009
Status: offline

The list of people I wish to apologize to includes but is not limited to Domme's, Dominant Men, Dominant Women, Dominatrix's, Domina's, Dom's, Femdom's, Masochists, Masters, Sadists, Sadomasochists, Slaves, Submissives, Switches and any other person, group or title I may have left off the list.

First, is a state of total SUB FRENZY I posted, quite possiblly, the worst Introduction of all time.
Colorado male sub seeks experienced Domme - http://www.collarchat.com/m_2848829/tm.htm

And if this was not bad enough I then started a thread asking a question that has no real answer.
How bad should it be before you leave? - http://www.collarchat.com/m_2877986/tm.htm

I deeply regret posting my introductory post and I wish to apologize to anyone I offended by my replies on the other thread I started. I have no excuse for my behavior and I respectfully bow down grovelling before everyone and plea to your compassionate side asking for your forgiveness.

I have learned my lesson on these boards and ask anyone new to these boards to look at these posts and use them as an example for what not to do here.

Sincerely, Howahkan

Post #: 1

RE: My Colossal Mistakes - 11/3/2009 3:00:28 PM

MasterSlaveLA

Posts: 3991
Status: offline

Chill, dude... a small, kinky forum on the internet. Nothin' to get your knickers all in a bunch over.

_____________________________

It's only kinky the first time!!!

(in reply to howahkan)

Post #: 2

RE: My Colossal Mistakes - 11/3/2009 8:30:44 PM

pompeii

Posts: 934
Joined: 1/4/2007
From: Silicon Valley, San Jose, California
Status: offline

Methinks thou dost protest too much ...

(in reply to MasterSlaveLA)

Post #: 3

RE: My Colossal Mistakes - 11/4/2009 11:22:26 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

Agreed.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to pompeii)

Post #: 4

RE: My Colossal Mistakes - 11/4/2009 11:26:29 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

So you started yet another thread on self involvement? Not that I don't get why you feel this way, however, exactly why is this a BDSM related discussion topic?

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 5

RE: My Colossal Mistakes - 11/4/2009 11:33:06 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

I have made colossal mistakes myself.

It is too bad that it is to late to edit your original post, or you could put your OP link in as the third colossal mistake you've made.

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 6

RE: My Colossal Mistakes - 11/4/2009 11:36:35 AM

pixelslave

Posts: 1444
Joined: 8/19/2006
Status: offline

Remember howahkan, this is the internet. You don't know any of us and we don't know you. Its best to learn not to take anything personal; something I know that can be difficult to do.

Take to heart what you find helpful and try to remember you can choose to ignore what you don't (you don't even have to reply to those posts). Some who claim to be "experts" or to have extensive experience in something or other, often in reality do not. Many are here to be helpful and kindly share their knowledge while others enjoy criticising and second guessing the past actions of others; actions which can't be udone but instead only learned from.

In time, what's been posted in anger or without thought is usually forgotten or eventually forgiven when humility and respect through additional posts which have been given more thought before posting are seen in other threads.

You were brave enough to put yourself out there when feeling very vulnerable and learned the hard way just how harsh this place can be. I hope you'll consider it a lesson learned and just move forward from here.

- pixel

_____________________________

Chivalry isn't dead! It's for those who have it in their hearts & are willing to be taught. It's a way of life, a code of honor; this one's armor still needs some polishing!

(in reply to howahkan)

Post #: 7

RE: My Colossal Mistakes - 11/4/2009 11:46:51 AM

sirsholly

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline

Maybe we should start a thread where we all divulge our colossal mistakes. I can tell you that purple hair dye right before my collage graduation qualifies...(Hey BARNEY...heres your diploma!)

_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)

(in reply to pixelslave)

Post #: 8

RE: My Colossal Mistakes - 11/4/2009 11:50:23 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

It's ok, holly. I'm not laughing at you over that one. I'm laughing with you.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to sirsholly)

Post #: 9

RE: My Colossal Mistakes - 11/4/2009 11:52:20 AM

OttersSwim

Posts: 2860
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline

Wouldn't it be great if there was actually someone out there that could save us? And no, I am not talking about Jesus...

Having waded through your first post that you linked, I offer the following:

1. We are all strangers on the Internet - why do you care what we think?

2. You sound desperate and project that you life is out of control.

3. You seem to want someone to save you.

4. In all honesty...and I need to keep taking this advice myself, so you are not alone in your boat...
Dommes...much like Jesus, help those who help themselves. What I mean is, you have to take initiative in your own life to get it under control before any potential Lady is going to even come close to being willing to pick you up and give a helping hand in the form of life domination. So, time to put yourself into action helping -you- before you look for someone else to put your train back on the track for you.

5. See #1

6. Welcome to the forums.

_____________________________

I am on a journey of authenticity and self.

(in reply to howahkan)

Post #: 10

RE: My Colossal Mistakes - 11/4/2009 11:55:33 AM

sirsholly

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

It's ok, holly. I'm not laughing at you over that one. I'm laughing with you.

You can say your font is always purple...but in this case i know it is sarcasm

_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 11

RE: My Colossal Mistakes - 11/4/2009 11:57:31 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

Maybe we should start a thread where we all divulge our colossal mistakes. I can tell you that purple hair dye right before my collage graduation qualifies...(Hey BARNEY...heres your diploma!)

college .............. uh, must have been the small diploma.

but you got colossal right, in any case.

LOLOLOL

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to sirsholly)

Post #: 12

RE: My Colossal Mistakes - 11/4/2009 12:34:51 PM

CarrieO

Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OttersSwim

Wouldn't it be great if there was actually someone out there that could save us? And no, I am not talking about Jesus...

Having waded through your first post that you linked, I offer the following:

1. We are all strangers on the Internet - why do you care what we think?

2. You sound desperate and project that you life is out of control.

3. You seem to want someone to save you.

4. In all honesty...and I need to keep taking this advice myself, so you are not alone in your boat...
Dommes...much like Jesus, help those who help themselves. What I mean is, you have to take initiative in your own life to get it under control before any potential Lady is going to even come close to being willing to pick you up and give a helping hand in the form of life domination. So, time to put yourself into action helping -you- before you look for someone else to put your train back on the track for you.

5. See #1

6. Welcome to the forums.

Thank you for saving me the keystrokes.

What I find ironic is that it was the OP's introductory post ( which I am not going to re-post ) that was the basis for my THREAD on needing someone to make a person what they should be. This attitude seems to keep coming up a lot lately.

I'm starting to think it has less to do, in general, with actually wanting help and more to do with no gumption and self-respect. Either that or some type of humiliation kink.

howahkan...stop with the self-flagellation, pick yourself up...dust yourself off...and start all over again. There are better examples of assholery and "what not to do" on these forums than you.

_____________________________

"No matter what happens in the kitchen, never apologize"~Julia Child~

(in reply to OttersSwim)

Post #: 13

RE: My Colossal Mistakes - 11/4/2009 12:41:41 PM

RapierFugue

Posts: 4740
Joined: 3/16/2006
From: London, England
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

Maybe we should start a thread where we all divulge our colossal mistakes. I can tell you that purple hair dye right before my collage graduation qualifies...(Hey BARNEY...heres your diploma!)

*snigger*

Mind you, if we're doing "Hall Of Shame Haircuts", back in the 80s I had one of those flat-top things. Remember those? Truly tragic.

Biggest other mistake? Too many to mention.

Thank fuck I'm perfect now

(in reply to sirsholly)

Post #: 14

RE: My Colossal Mistakes - 11/4/2009 2:46:15 PM

onlyfreelycaged

Posts: 254
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RapierFugue

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

Maybe we should start a thread where we all divulge our colossal mistakes. I can tell you that purple hair dye right before my collage graduation qualifies...(Hey BARNEY...heres your diploma!)

*snigger*

Mind you, if we're doing "Hall Of Shame Haircuts", back in the 80s I had one of those flat-top things. Remember those? Truly tragic.

Biggest other mistake? Too many to mention.

Thank fuck I'm perfect now

there's a guy where I work who has a flat top... cept it's a really bad one, and he lets it get way too long. It was like that when he started, and I never could take him seriously.

(in reply to RapierFugue)

Post #: 15

RE: My Colossal Mistakes - 11/4/2009 3:46:06 PM

CaringandReal

Posts: 1397
Joined: 2/15/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OttersSwim

Wouldn't it be great if there was actually someone out there that could save us? And no, I am not talking about Jesus...

Having waded through your first post that you linked, I offer the following:

1. We are all strangers on the Internet - why do you care what we think?

2. You sound desperate and project that you life is out of control.

3. You seem to want someone to save you.

4. In all honesty...and I need to keep taking this advice myself, so you are not alone in your boat...
Dommes...much like Jesus, help those who help themselves. What I mean is, you have to take initiative in your own life to get it under control before any potential Lady is going to even come close to being willing to pick you up and give a helping hand in the form of life domination. So, time to put yourself into action helping -you- before you look for someone else to put your train back on the track for you.

5. See #1

6. Welcome to the forums.

Great post, OttersSwim! :)

_____________________________

"A friend who bleeds is better" --placebo

"How seldom we recognize the sound when the bolt of our fate slides home." --thomas harris

(in reply to OttersSwim)

Post #: 16

RE: My Colossal Mistakes - 11/4/2009 3:48:21 PM

howahkan

Posts: 137
Joined: 10/13/2009
Status: offline

Thank you pixelslave for your concern, it is appreciated.

The Domme's and others are all absolutely correct. I have a lot of problems. I am trying to correct them. Trying to apologize. I'm sorry they won't accept. But that's okay, I have the strength of character to keep trying. Most of them will not forgive, it's not in their nature. Some will forgive and those folks are the only ones I want as friends.

See, this whole judgment think works both ways. I and many of the subs reading this thread are seeing the strength of character of some and the lack of character of the many. So the folks who have no real values show themselves for who they really are. So hammer away folks and let us see just how mean spirited you are inside. It's a great opportunity for all of us.

quote:

ORIGINAL: pixelslave

Remember howahkan, this is the internet. You don't know any of us and we don't know you. Its best to learn not to take anything personal; something I know that can be difficult to do.

Take to heart what you find helpful and try to remember you can choose to ignore what you don't (you don't even have to reply to those posts). Some who claim to be "experts" or to have extensive experience in something or other, often in reality do not. Many are here to be helpful and kindly share their knowledge while others enjoy criticising and second guessing the past actions of others; actions which can't be udone but instead only learned from.

In time, what's been posted in anger or without thought is usually forgotten or eventually forgiven when humility and respect through additional posts which have been given more thought before posting are seen in other threads.

You were brave enough to put yourself out there when feeling very vulnerable and learned the hard way just how harsh this place can be. I hope you'll consider it a lesson learned and just move forward from here.

- pixel

< Message edited by howahkan -- 11/4/2009 3:52:39 PM >

(in reply to pixelslave)

Post #: 17

RE: My Colossal Mistakes - 11/4/2009 4:21:58 PM

Politesub53

Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

Maybe we should start a thread where we all divulge our colossal mistakes. I can tell you that purple hair dye right before my collage graduation qualifies...(Hey BARNEY...heres your diploma!)

college .............. uh, must have been the small diploma.

but you got colossal right, in any case.

LOLOLOL

Tsk Tsk Ron, collage wasn`t a spelling error, it was a work of art.

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 18

RE: My Colossal Mistakes - 11/4/2009 4:51:21 PM

Elisabella

Posts: 3939
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: howahkan

See, this whole judgment think works both ways. I and many of the subs reading this thread are seeing the strength of character of some and the lack of character of the many. So the folks who have no real values show themselves for who they really are. So hammer away folks and let us see just how mean spirited you are inside. It's a great opportunity for all of us.

Well I was totally about to accept your apology but then I see this, which only shows that you're paying lip service to apology while still believing that you were the one in the right and everyone who criticized your actions was in the wrong.

If you really do want advice, to become a better person, you might want to start with listening. If your behaviour is something you genuinely want to change, you should show just as much disgust toward it as the people who replied to your other threads did.

However if you do feel your actions were right, or justifyable, and you feel everyone who criticized you was wrong, come out and say that and stand by it. People might disagree with you, but they'll have more respect for someone stating his view directly than they will with this.

Your problem isn't anything you've done, per se, it's how you've done it. Passive-aggressively, your direct words say one thing (ie, my first posts here were colossal mistakes, the end of my marriage was all my fault) but then the subtext reads completely differently (you guys are all just jerks jumping on my posts, my wife was the one who destroyed our marriage by spending too much) and I think that's why people are reacting to you the way they are.

At least, that's why I am.

(in reply to howahkan)

Post #: 19

RE: My Colossal Mistakes - 11/4/2009 7:25:29 PM

theRose4U

Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

So you started yet another thread on self involvement? Not that I don't get why you feel this way, however, exactly why is this a BDSM related discussion topic?

I'm still puzzling over a bi-sexual sub that thinks a domme shouldn't have limits. WOW! good luck with that.

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 20

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