tiggerspoohbear
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Joined: 6/27/2010
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Daddysredhead
I admit that I have read only a few things here and there on the various fat threads, and have not commented much, but after a few days of thinking about it, and listening to a radio show this evening on my way home, I have a few things to say.
I admit that I am not a small gal, although I was, at times, in the past. I have been heavier than I am now, and lighter, and all weights in between. The thing is, when I met DB, He said something that has made a HUGE impact on the way I see myself, and think about myself. He told me, "You are NOT defined by your weight." He was right, and if I let myself get all bogged down with various "mean-to-me" thoughts, I have to remember that. I was picked on and ridiculed about my weight (in my adult life) by the person who took a vow to love me, for better or for worse. When I was chubby, not really fat, in my high school and college years, I only heard a few ill comments. After I got married and had kids, there were medical reasons the weight came on, but I was maligned endlessly for years about it. This is something that I have forgiven my ex-husband for, and he regrets having done that to me.
I admit that I don't need to always wear makeup, have my hair done "just so," or wear the cutest outfit to know that I AM SOMEBODY SPECIAL. There were people on a different thread who were critical of folks who could list their positive qualities without a sense of shame or bashfulness. I'm not one of those people. It took a long damn time for me to see me as others sometimes see me, and if I recall those nice things, why should I not embrace them? I don't always feel them, but that doesn't mean that they aren't accurate, at least at one point in time.
I admit that I am a good mother, a loving daughter, a sweet friend, a hardworking employee, a sensual lover, a good sister, and a more than decent human being. I'm also funny as hell, outspoken, smart, multilingual, and fairly well-traveled. In my book, that makes me well-rounded, and I mean that in more than my clothing size. Oh, and sometimes, I think I'm pretty effing adorable, maybe even pretty. Yeah, pretty. I said it.
I admit that if people find that to be less than humble to actually write out loud, they don't have to like it, like me, look at me, talk to me, or anything of the sort. Anyone who knows me well enough, knows that most of the time, I'm fairly quiet about this stuff and I surely don't write out the list above to make myself feel like I'm worthy of someone's time or energy. I'm a WYSIWYG... "what you see is what you get." If I don't measure up to your expectations, then blow it out your butt. I don't try to live my life in an effort to get a gold star from anyone else. The people I'm concerned about being the very best to, share not only my heart, but my DNA, and my obligation to them is bigger than anyone else's expectation of me... and that's not a role in my life that I take lightly. So, I'm beautiful... no matter what the number on my clothes tag says.
With all sincerity, if only to myself, I write this...
Red
I admit the first admit I did on this got lost because I lost my damn net connection. Twice.
I admit that yes, I quoted the whole thing because it deserves to be quoted in it's entirety.
I admit O my darling, sweet Red, I have to thank you for posting this. It reminds me that I should be less tough on myself and not always worry about what people I don't even know think of me. Weight, looks, ups and downs, the whole entire me. I am the best me I can be and the people who know me know this.
I admit not going to DQ for a damn sundae because I'm worried about what people will think is going to STOP. If I want one, then dammit I'm gonna have one.
I admit if anyone said anything to me in person, as opposed to this damn net that seems to let people get away with saying anything, they'd get a damn sore ear and a severe talking to. As loud as I can and enough to embarrass them for a change.
As Popeye is fond of saying, I yam what I yam. And I yam going to be me, tough on the rest of the world. I know who cares and who matters, thank you for reminding me of that. *smooches*hugs*squishes*
_____________________________
"RABBIT IS GOOD, RABBIT IS WISE".
"I'm a baaa-aaad pussycat".
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RE: I Admit It I........ - 
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Please get checked out, honey. Even if it's at Urgent Care.
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