quote:

ORIGINAL: dcnovice

I admit this was the second afternoon in a row where I felt dizzy and shaky.

I admit I'd get head rushes that almost made me feel I was gonna fall.

I admit I didn't fall.

I admit I will call the doctor tomorrrow.

quote:

ORIGINAL: dcnovice

I admit this was the second afternoon in a row where I felt dizzy and shaky.

I admit I'd get head rushes that almost made me feel I was gonna fall.

I admit I didn't fall.

I admit I will call the doctor tomorrrow.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddysredhead

quote:

ORIGINAL: SorceressJ

I admit that if this keeps up, I will seriously stop wanting to come here at all.

I admit that I am going to have to veto this part of SJ's post. *nods* You may not stop wanting to come here at all, my Sister. (or something like that)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddysredhead

I admit that the stank nasty P/T bitch is a slob of unbelievable proportions. She basically lives in a cabin with her man and 1,000 chickens and dogs, and Lord knows what.

quote:

She made a comment that their hot water heater has been broken forever,

quote:

and one of the other gals at the office found a thing of body wash and shampoo, as well as a wet towel in one of the lateral file cabinets last week. (Yes, she is BATHING in the office bathroom sink! At least it's the one I never use.)

quote:

I admit that she keeps her dirty laundry in that office because she goes to a laundrymat in town (she lives several miles out in the boonies) to do her clothes.

quote:

She's also a hoarder. She keeps things there so her guy doesn't know that she's still buying crap and that her mom is still mailing her shit after she has been told it needs to stop.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SorceressJ

quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddysredhead

quote:

ORIGINAL: SorceressJ

I admit that if this keeps up, I will seriously stop wanting to come here at all.

I admit that I am going to have to veto this part of SJ's post. *nods* You may not stop wanting to come here at all, my Sister. (or something like that)

I admit an astronomically rare "yes Ma'am". I admit that it aggravates the piss out of me about that thread but it also takes more than that thread and it's ilk to run me off. F**k y'all, dis MY hood, yo.. *lets my inner ghetto-fabulous bitch come out because Red is a Bad Influence. Mm-hmm.*

quote:

ORIGINAL: trappedinamuseum

I admit that I think I would pay to see Red do that.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LanceHughes

quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddysredhead
<snipped>
I admit that I'm still missing Lavilovebug.

I admit Lance wrote to me, and told me "you have link"  My brain cells couldn't comprehend it but I followed his thread and here I came.   Once again, I ADMIT, Red has brightened my world.  I don't know how she does it, but she brings me to my knees and to tears, with her kindness and thoughtfulness of my addiction, my torture, my hidden/forgotten abuse.   I remember so much more about the "incident" since I'm clean.   I remember faces, but I still don't know them, when I do, hell hath no fury.  I can't forget the pieces of my life that they took from me, I want to let it go, and move forward, but I can't.   To some, this may not make sense, but to Red it will, only because she knows about my attack and my trauma from it. 
I admit I've been listening to a lot of Janis Joplin
I admit I feel so touched by the raw emotion in some of her music
I admit, thanks to Lance for sending me back here, and my condolences on the loss of his Mom, I know what you mean about losing her years ago.  I felt at times I was born to no family.   I was born to riches, but not love.  So family is something I don't know well. 
I admit I'm never here for sympathy, but am here because I care deeply.  My hard ass shell has been broken a little.   My rehab facility is not a kind place, its a bitchin get the fuck better place.   It's the kind of place I needed but isn't for everyone.  
I admit some of the counselors are beginning to feel like family, you enter and they treat you almost like shit, but they do it out of love.   I didn't understand so I fought like a raging animal.  Now I know I had problems, and still do, but I am stronger then I ever thought I could be. 
I admit if some of you remember I came on the boards searching for my friend Andrea who had been missing, I found her coming out of a rehab.  Kind of making me believe there's some kind of higher power, because I never even knew she had a problem.  Its when I found out I had to get help.  So finding her, opened a new door for me.  
And Lance finding me, and showing me the thread, made me find myself even more.  I guess what I want to say is, keep yourselves open because somewhere there's someone, something, that's going to make your world better, when you least expect it. 

I admit I still don't have sugar cookies and roast beef in my soul, but because of Red, I know that one day I will.  She taught me more then I ever dreamed, my conversations with her opened the heavens.  and -

I admit every night, I pray now, for you and the things.  You taught me that too.  You taught me that family isn't always the biological people that enter your life, that family can be found right here on the collarme message board, and so can love.   I've found that too many times here.  

I admit thank yous, I am not the fucked up woman I once was, I'm still a don't fuck with me woman, but now I am wiser, sober and treating the demons that came into my soul.  One by One.  

I admit hugs and good thoughts all around,  hopefully one day, I'll know the true meaning of family.

Thank you Lance for sending me back here.  

Thank you Red for being the great woman you are and for somehow capturing my heart and soul.  

With love and respect for each of the cast of lovers and friends, I thank you, for saving a life.  But mostly to Red, who without even her knowledge, gave love and guidance, with the utmost respect.   You are loved beautiful woman, and kept safely in my heart.

Lavinia


_____________________________

If somebody offers you a lifetime supply of candy and there is just one piece, don’t eat it: It’s probably poison:
~I am: ~Petal-icious~Bitch with Tits~
~ Ravager ~Sovereign~ LaviKinKs

(in reply to LanceHughes)